Abob Teff

I had that thought. One of the things we talked about was experience with online dating and she was a lamenting about her experiences. I was picturing her saying to her friends "Even a random guy in a bar was oblivious to me!"


Well played you two, well played!

This thought had occurred to me also. Those things are like Dear Penthouse letters: they aren't real; are they?

I'm terrible at introductions. No phobia, I'm just the kind of person who starts talking to somebody as if I've known him/her forever. I was oblivious through most of this as we felt like old friends. When it occurred to me, I didn't want to be some creep in a bar.

Thank you Brack! I have nothing to counter with; you're probably right.

I was already trying to avoid becoming the creepy guy in the bar ... By my own admission, I am ignorant in the ways of social media. Would this really NOT be creepy? (I do have one potential lead on social media, but have resisted playing that card in case I am wrong.)

No goggles in my case. I'd had a few beers and a mixed drink throughout the evening, but not even enough to buzz me. Maybe she had them on, but she seemed pretty sober.

Seriously Vin? I was waiting for the title change, but did you have to change Buttercup? That was a critical piece!

Why So Blu?

Not likely. If she's hot she has many options. I'm sure she's gotten laid by now.

Ghostbuster

If you track down the woman and contact her, then it is fairly likely that she will consider this behavior "creepy." However, you really have nothing to lose.

aktick

Abob, I was always that guy who used the excuse of not wanting to come across as a creep too...then I finally realized I wasn't a creep, so if I came across that way to a girl it was her not "getting" me. No big loss. What's the worst that would've happened if this girl thought you asking for her number (or even to your room for a *drink*) was creepy? Almost guarantee the worst would be her laughing at you or running away ASAP. Essentially where you're at now anyways...

MLBFan24

It would be creepy if you randomly friended girls on Facebook, without any former connection with them (just friend requesting just because they are hot). But if you have had a previous connection with this person (met at a party, a new classmate or coworker, one night at a bar...), it wouldn't be creepy. If you found the correct profile, this girl will recognize your friend request (assuming you use a recognizable profile pic). Don't even send a private message until after the friend request is accepted. As you said, she already brought up Facebook during your conversation with her, so it wouldn't be out of the question that you found her on Facebook.

If you don't get a response from the friend request, just forget about it. Not a big deal.

I'll be the first to admit I'm terrible at picking up women at bars, but hitting the friend request button on Facebook is easy!

Also, don't forget how the Buttercup episode ended.

VinVega

I failed at failing.

I have made a hopefully more acceptable snark title.

Abob Teff

I have not found her on Facebook. I'm assuming that means either some of my data is wrong or her profile is private ... ???

I found a potential lead on another site. Not sure if it is her though. The profile kind of fits and the picture looks similar but with a different hair color.

Mrs. Danger weighed in earlier, but I'd like a follow-up ruling from her and our other ruling women here in Otterville -- creepy to track her down or not? Here's another possible signal I missed -- at one point she went to the ladies' room and left her phone on the bar and her purse in her seat. Would you do that unless it was a sign of trust/interest?

Here's another wrinkle -- we're literally a thousand miles apart. (I'm just making excuses now, aren't I?)

aktick

I've learned the hard way...the longer you wait to get in contact (getting her number in person upon first meeting being the best), the creepier you'll come across.

Why So Blu?

If you gotta ask if it's creepy to track her down then it's creepy.

Abob Teff

MLBFan -- she was engaged, broke it off, they lived happily ever after. Assuming you didn't watch the final season. Yeah, I don't remember who the mom turned out to be. I just remember the ending pissed me off after binging every season of an otherwise very enjoyable show.

OK, from the Wiki...

I don't have a Robin in my life, so what's the problem?

Guys, Vin needs some snark-assistance.

MLBFan24

HIMYM is my favorite sitcom. You did inspire me to watch the Buttercup episode again this past weekend. Good stuff

Norm de Plume

Personally, I don't think it's creepy. Try dropping this woman a line, asking her if she is the woman who met _____ at _____ hotel bar. Tell her you found her really charming and regret not getting her number.
If you're truly interested, which seems the case, you'll only regret not doing anything. You have nothing to lose.

Brack

Very good advice, because you're right on the money.

aktick

x3

Abob Teff

Oh shit ... I think I found her.

I couldn't send a message, just a connection invite. Really wishing I could have sent a message.

I guess we'll find out if it is creepy or not.

Shazam

It's only creepy if she sees you putting on the chloroform.

Abob Teff

Or taking off your pants, right?

Jaymole

I congratulate you on your buttercup moment

It will never happen to me as a woman would have to be both blind and mentally ill to start talking to me at a bar.

Mikael79

I vote for creepy. If you wanted to connect with her, you would have asked on the spot. Coming around after the fact is similar to those Missed Connections threads on Craigslist.

stingermck

Go for it. Worst she can do is ignore or tell you to piss off. Then you have your answer.

Dan

Like, on Facebook? Or LinkedIn?

Personally, I think it's a little creepy, but if she's been thinking about you (at all), then hey, she probably won't mind.

kgrogers1979

The worst that can happen is she tells her jealous boyfriend about this psycho who is stalking her, and he tracks you down and kills you.

stingermck

Shhhh. Now he is never gonna ask a girl for her number.

fujishig

If romantic "comedies" have taught me anything, it's that the only difference between being stalkerish or being insanely romantic is the level of attraction between the people involved.

majorjoe23

Pee in her buttercup.