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Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

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Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Old 05-19-15, 03:14 PM
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Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

They should post the ad on a Walking Dead forum.

Two years after Saudi Arabia nearly had to end beheadings due to a shortage of swordsmen, the oil-rich nation of 30 million people is taking a new tack.

Help wanted ads.

This week the Saudi Ministry of Civil Service began advertising for eight additional swordsmen to conduct executions, lob the hands off of thieves, and perform similar duties. Beheadings are actually mandated under Sharia Law, although Saudi leaders considered adopting firing squads as an alternative in 2013 due to a lack of swordsmen.

No previous experience is necessary, the ministry notes. The job description, which mentions "religious functions," includes "implementation of the rule of murder by Islamic law after the issuance of the Islamic ruling," and "functions of the perpetrators of retribution."

Human Rights Watch reports that the Saudis already have beheaded 85 people this year, just a few short of the nation's total for all of 2014. The United States, with about ten times the population, executed 35 people last year.

Execution is not a punishment limited to murderers in Saudi, however, Crimes punishable also include rape, adultery, blasphemy, drug crimes and sorcery.

It's not clear what the pay is, but The New York Times reports that in Qassim Province, north of the capital, Riyadh, the swordsman has a full time job guarding the region's prince and carries out executions on the side -- at more than $1,000 per head.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/n...ught/27571071/
Old 05-19-15, 03:44 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Crimes punishable also include rape, adultery, blasphemy, drug crimes and sorcery.
So if a man rapes a married woman, are both killed (one for rape and the other for adultery)? 2 for 1 bonus.
Old 05-19-15, 03:56 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Or if you bang a witch while being high, rape and adultery are not even required!
Old 05-19-15, 04:05 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Does it come with a decent dental plan?
Old 05-19-15, 04:57 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

$1,000 a head sounds about right.
Old 05-19-15, 05:10 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

For that price she'd better be sticking some fingers up my ass.
Old 05-19-15, 06:11 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

I guess the Hogwart's school campus extension won't be opening up in Saudi Arabia?
Old 05-19-15, 06:12 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

I wonder how the interview process goes. Too bad there's no Monty Python skit on this topic.
Old 05-19-15, 06:23 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

If you have this job you can tell people that now's not the time to lose one's head..
This job is one way to get a head in life..
It will be easier if people aren't very headstrong..
When you kill them you know they'll never be the head of a major corporation..

OK that'll do.
Old 05-19-15, 06:58 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Why can't they build themselves a Guillotine?

Or is that to quick and fast a way to behead someone?
Old 05-19-15, 07:25 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

looks like they provide on the job training.
Old 05-19-15, 07:29 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

If it means anything, the training course is ISIS certified in case you want to be a consultant over in Iraq.
Old 05-19-15, 07:32 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Oddly enough, I was just having a conversation with my wife the other day about how it'd be neat to know how to sword fight. However, there aren't any practical ways in which such a skill applies (unless you're aiming to be cast as an extra on GoT).

Perhaps I spoke too soon.
Old 05-19-15, 10:34 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Originally Posted by mike45 View Post
Why can't they build themselves a Guillotine?

Or is that to quick and fast a way to behead someone?
No respect for tradition.
Old 05-19-15, 11:36 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Execution is not a punishment limited to murderers in Saudi, however, Crimes punishable also include rape, adultery, blasphemy, drug crimes and sorcery.
So if you got high and raped a married magician while screaming "Oh Jesus!" as you finished... you'd be royally screwed.
Old 05-20-15, 06:18 AM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Originally Posted by mike45 View Post
Why can't they build themselves a Guillotine?

Or is that to quick and fast a way to behead someone?
I suspect that the act of beheading with a headsman using a sword has a certain degree of symbolic value that a guillotine would lack.

By the by, if anyone is interested, you can view videos of Saudi beheadings on youtube and other places. The most disturbing aspect of the of it is just how officious and casual they are about doing it, almost swatting a child with a paddle.
Old 05-20-15, 10:00 AM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

When I hear "swordsmen", I think of a completely different occupation.
Old 05-22-15, 06:17 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Originally Posted by VinVega View Post
Execution is not a punishment limited to murderers in Saudi, however, Crimes punishable also include rape, adultery, blasphemy, drug crimes and sorcery.


Illusions, Michael.
Old 05-22-15, 06:49 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Saudi Arabia is our ally, how dare you criticize their methods.
Old 05-22-15, 08:11 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Originally Posted by mike45 View Post
Why can't they build themselves a Guillotine?

Or is that to quick and fast a way to behead someone?
That takes engineering and math which, although invented by ancient Muslims, is no longer allowed to be taught in most Muslim-controlled countries.
Old 05-29-15, 09:22 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

Originally Posted by General Zod View Post
Does it come with a decent dental plan?
Now that's damn funny! Thanks General.
Old 05-29-15, 11:32 PM
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Re: Job opportunities in Saudi Arabia (sword required)

It's BYOS, but I think they supply the apron and galoshes.

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