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Old 12-01-14, 11:04 PM   #51
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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I don't think the OP is chickenshit. I just think he knows his relationship. Don't you have certain friends that you just can't talk to about stuff? Where you just have to accept certain things to be friends with them? Well, amp that up by 100x, when you're talking about someone's kid and their parenting of that kid. Some people are open to constructive criticism, some not, but even those who are may not be open to it depending on who it's coming from.
Sure, but if their behaviors or tendencies get in the way of the friendship then I stop hanging out with them - family too. If I had a family member that had a kid that was a pain in the ass I would say something. If the kid gives me lip then I tell the parents to control their child. If they can't then I stop hanging out with them. I'm glad I don't have friends that have kids and those that do get hung around with less.

Remember those smacks in the mouth I got as a kid for mouthing off? I got those from aunts and uncles, too. It set me straight to respecting my elders and people in general.
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Old 12-02-14, 12:27 AM   #52
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Old 12-02-14, 09:07 AM   #53
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by majorjoe23 View Post
I've got a three-year-old daughter at home and I do not agree with that. Girls are insane from age 1 to around 24.
I have a 16 year old. Been there, done that. 3 is the worst year.
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Old 12-02-14, 09:26 AM   #54
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Why So Blu? View Post
Wow - parents are really chickenshit about this stuff, huh.
If by that you mean that we don't hit our kids in the mouth and whip them with belts, yes.

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Originally Posted by Why So Blu? View Post
Remember those smacks in the mouth I got as a kid for mouthing off? I got those from aunts and uncles, too. It set me straight to respecting my elders and people in general.
Jesus fucking Christ. Please don't ever have kids.
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Old 12-02-14, 11:26 AM   #55
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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I am so many fucking miles away from confronting my brother about this that it's like we are on opposite sides of the globe. I can't even comprehend you guys who are suggesting it. I'm not saying any or all of you are wrong, I'm just saying it's not on the table. I imagine many of you come from very different families than mine.
That's quite a startling statement. I can't even comprehend your not being able to talk to your brother about it. When I was a kid, if my brothers and I had ever behaved the way your nephew does at a family function, my father would have yelled at us to stop in his loudest voice. We would have stopped on the spot because the next step would have been him beating the shit out of us right then and there.

Your nephew may have some kind of disorder and may need to be diagnosed. Fat chance of this happening if his parents are in denial about it. I'm surprised that some people on this board have taken a "boys will be boys" attitude here. This is not normal boy behavior. Boys have to learn how to socialize at a young age. If they're still acting out like this at six, there's a problem, a BIG one.

Keep your daughters away from him till he gets straightened out.
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Old 12-02-14, 11:29 AM   #56
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by CRM114 View Post
If by that you mean that we don't hit our kids in the mouth and whip them with belts, yes.



Jesus fucking Christ. Please don't ever have kids.

Oh, I'm fixed for that.

Don't you worry.
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Old 12-02-14, 11:29 AM   #57
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Ash Ketchum View Post
That's quite a startling statement. I can't even comprehend your not being able to talk to your brother about it. When I was a kid, if my brothers and I had ever behaved the way your nephew does at a family function, my father would have yelled at us to stop in his loudest voice. We would have stopped on the spot because the next step would have been him beating the shit out of us right then and there.

Your nephew may have some kind of disorder and may need to be diagnosed. Fat chance of this happening if his parents are in denial about it. I'm surprised that some people on this board have taken a "boys will be boys" attitude here. This is not normal boy behavior. Boys have to learn how to socialize at a young age. If they're still acting out like this at six, there's a problem, a BIG one.

Keep your daughters away from him till he gets straightened out.


This.
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Old 12-02-14, 11:34 AM   #58
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by cdollaz View Post
If you are only around them a few days a year, then just deal with it. It isn't that big of a deal and nothing good can probably come from your intervening. Let them raise their own fucking kid. Just avoid all get-togethers except the rare holiday or whatnot. Kid probably has ADHD.


Hmmm...He is a 6 year old boy. That is not a cop-out answer. He is 6!! Have you been around any other 5-8 year old boys?

I agree that almost everyone is offended by advise given to them about their child if it is not asked for. Don't do it. IT will cause a strained relationship as all your brother will ever think about is if his kid is annoying you.

I would say to suck it up and deal with it also. My son was six once too. My nephew's were 5 and 7 just a few years ago this is what boys do.

Some are surprised that some of us are taking a "boys will be boys" attitude here? WTF you guys are trying to state he has a learning disorder from ADHD to maybe the next serial killer. WAY off base IMHO. Yes that is typical boy behavior but it can be controlled. The parents do need to try to calm him down occasionally and even if you did it to try to quite him down that would not be out of line. IHMO...
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Old 12-02-14, 12:06 PM   #59
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

^^ My son is six too.. and he's learned that there are acceptable and unacceptable behaviors -- that coaching needs to come from the parents. My son waivers from time to time but 90% of the time I can trust he's behaving and acting appropriate.

In Mabuse's case - his brother is the real problem Letting your kids get out of control and not holding them responsible for their words or actions is only going to cause him grief down the road. We have good friends who have a son that is out of control; it's to the point that we don't even invite them over anymore because we know there will be a major blowup or my youngest getting hurt.
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Old 12-02-14, 12:17 PM   #60
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Rob V View Post

In Mabuse's case - his brother is the real problem Letting your kids get out of control and not holding them responsible for their words or actions
Agreed, the parents are the biggest problem. It isn't the OP's place to address or fix that problem, in my opinion.
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Old 12-02-14, 12:25 PM   #61
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Hmmm...He is a 6 year old boy. That is not a cop-out answer. He is 6!! Have you been around any other 5-8 year old boys?
I have a 9 year-old son, so yeah, I have. The ADHD comment was more a joke than an observation about this kid.

From the original post, it sounds like the main issue with this kid is the he is disrespectful, to adults even, and that is something that can be changed with the correct rewards/punishments/consequences. It seems that in this case, the parents are not interested in that result, so it will likely continue unless he matures away from it.
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Old 12-02-14, 12:26 PM   #62
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Rob V View Post
^^ My son is six too.. and he's learned that there are acceptable and unacceptable behaviors -- that coaching needs to come from the parents. My son waivers from time to time but 90% of the time I can trust he's behaving and acting appropriate.

In Mabuse's case - his brother is the real problem Letting your kids get out of control and not holding them responsible for their words or actions is only going to cause him grief down the road. We have good friends who have a son that is out of control; it's to the point that we don't even invite them over anymore because we know there will be a major blowup or my youngest getting hurt.
I fully agree. The parents are the real problem. If you can't talk to them you are shit out of luck. The kid won't change if the parents let everything go.

I would keep my kids away from them. Who knows what's going on when you are not there.
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Old 12-02-14, 02:03 PM   #63
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

I presume the brother is not the real issue here. Most men aren't afraid of saying practically anything to their own brothers. It is obviously the fear this gets back to the brother's wife, starting a furor.
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Old 12-02-14, 02:08 PM   #64
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

My stepson has oppositional defiance disorder. Yeah, it's really fucking fun.
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Old 12-02-14, 02:10 PM   #65
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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My stepson has oppositional defiance disorder. Yeah, it's really fucking fun.
Isn't this is why we have Military Schools? Ship that kid off.
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Old 12-02-14, 02:11 PM   #66
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Isn't this is why we have Military Schools? Ship that kid off.
We're getting pretty close to having to do so.
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Old 12-02-14, 02:58 PM   #67
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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My stepson has oppositional defiance disorder. Yeah, it's really fucking fun.
I love how everything these days gets labeled as a "disorder". Can't some people just be assholes?

Edit: Eddie -- not a poke at you, just an observation about kids these days and the lack of ownership.
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Old 12-02-14, 03:05 PM   #68
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Why So Blu? View Post
Sure, but if their behaviors or tendencies get in the way of the friendship then I stop hanging out with them - family too. If I had a family member that had a kid that was a pain in the ass I would say something. If the kid gives me lip then I tell the parents to control their child. If they can't then I stop hanging out with them. I'm glad I don't have friends that have kids and those that do get hung around with less.

Remember those smacks in the mouth I got as a kid for mouthing off? I got those from aunts and uncles, too. It set me straight to respecting my elders and people in general.


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Old 12-02-14, 04:19 PM   #69
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

I hate the fact that we live in a time when people look for a disorder in someone when an act of bad behavior is witnessed. The kid is a little arsehole who deserves a good clip round the ear and a lesson in discipline. I have a step daughter and she answers back or gets smart and I have made sure she knows where the line is for it being taken in good humor and when it becomes disrespectful. I have thrown toys of hers in the trash as punishment, time outs, not allowed her to enjoy trips out etc. Her mother has always been easy on her, but I am trying to show her that instead of being a disrespectful lazy shit, if she learns to do things for herself and treat people with respect then her future will be a lot better for it. No prescription drugs, no therapy....just lessons in life I was taught when I was a kid. I would never hit her, but I believe hitting a kid with limits is fine. I went to school that had corporal punishment and my father hit me a couple of times. Every single time I admit I deserved it.
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Old 12-02-14, 04:28 PM   #70
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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I presume the brother is not the real issue here. Most men aren't afraid of saying practically anything to their own brothers. It is obviously the fear this gets back to the brother's wife, starting a furor.
Very perceptive.
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Old 12-02-14, 04:36 PM   #71
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by PhantomStranger View Post
I presume the brother is not the real issue here. Most men aren't afraid of saying practically anything to their own brothers. It is obviously the fear this gets back to the brother's wife, starting a furor.
If that's the case then the brother on the receiving end should know how to handle the info given to him by his concerned brother so as not to cause problems in his own home. After the Brother to brother convo:

"Honey, I was thinking about how our son acts out and here's what we should do..."
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Old 12-02-14, 04:42 PM   #72
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

^^ I'm guessing her response would be something along the lines of:

"STFU, you're cut off, there's the couch"
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Old 12-02-14, 04:44 PM   #73
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by PhantomStranger View Post
I presume the brother is not the real issue here. Most men aren't afraid of saying practically anything to their own brothers. It is obviously the fear this gets back to the brother's wife, starting a furor.
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Originally Posted by Mabuse View Post
Very perceptive.
I don't get the vagueness instead of just saying this to begin with.
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Old 12-02-14, 04:48 PM   #74
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

It's really the whole package. If I spoke to my brother about it it would upset him and his wife. They think they're doing a great job. And I've said that from the beginning.
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Old 12-02-14, 04:52 PM   #75
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

My wife went on a school field trip with my daughter's grade 1 class. During lunch one of the kids left the lunch area early and started wandering around. Her mother was also there and went after her. She came back inside, without her kid, and asked my wife if she could tell her kid to come back in, because her kid "doesn't listen to me".

Astounding really.
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