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Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

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Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Old 11-25-14, 01:54 AM
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Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral



Friends of a 32-year-old Idaho woman who died suddenly of a brain aneurysm last month said they were shocked to find that her family had cut her hair short and dressed her in a suit for her open-casket funeral, presenting her as a man. Jennifer Gable, a trans woman born with the name Geoffrey, had been presenting as a woman for the past few years.
The Miami Herald points out that there's no mention of Jennifer in Gable's obituary. It mentions her job at Wells Fargo, her marriage and divorce, and the schools and churches she attended as a child, but identifies her as Geoff throughout. It uses male pronouns and an old, male-presenting photo.

"She would not have wanted to relive the horrible life of Geoffrey," Gable's friend Brandan Klosterman told the New York Daily News, "She wouldn't want to be buried that way."

Gable's parents, who reportedly didn't speak to her anymore, were apparently behind the decision to bury her as a man. "There was a lot of bigotry from her family," Klosterman said.

"Her father erased her identity either though ignorance or arrogance," Human Rights Campaign Board member Meghan Stabler, who knew Gable, told the Miami Herald, "But who knows what the parent was going through?"

The funeral home that handled Gable's burial said her death certificate identified her as male.

"The death certificate says Geoffrey AKA Jennifer Gable," an employee of the funeral home told the Herald, "The last few years she lived as Jennifer. They buried him as Geoff. A tormented situation for all those involved."
Source: gawker.com

I'm guessing he/she had no last will.
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Old 11-25-14, 02:16 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Sounds like "A Game of You."
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Old 11-25-14, 03:43 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

As much as I support and sympathize with transgenders I can't help saying "Who cares". I mean she's dead, she doesn't care anymore so why should we?
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Old 11-25-14, 04:36 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

I'm sure the friends and family that accepted her cared about it. Plus, it's about showing the deceased respect, allowing them some kind of dignity.


I have to admit I had a similar response as you initially. He was born a male, and it was up to his parents at that point. It's not like the funeral parlor or city took it upon themselves to do this. But then I thought about it from another perspective.

I would be just as upset if some family wanted a girl, and ended up dressing their deceased son's body up like a woman for an open casket funeral, and referring to him as a "her" in his obituary. Or worse, my family did that to me. I would never know, but it wouldn't make it any less wrong.

Last edited by brayzie; 11-25-14 at 05:25 AM.
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Old 11-25-14, 05:08 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Yeah. That lacked respect to the person who died. Totally overruling that person and who they were. Shitty people, man.
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Old 11-25-14, 05:14 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

I guess I just don't see it as being important. A dead body is a dead body. I could give a rat's ass what happened to my corpse after I died, or what is said. If the friends and any family who want to honor her life as a woman and hold their own memorial service then they should.
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Old 11-25-14, 05:45 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Originally Posted by DeputyDave View Post
I guess I just don't see it as being important. A dead body is a dead body. I could give a rat's ass what happened to my corpse after I died, or what is said.
That's just the thing. It's not your body, your life, your friend, or your memory.

If the friends and any family who want to honor her life as a woman and hold their own memorial service then they should.
Considering it's a time of grieving, they shouldn't have to. I would be pretty torn up if a loved one died, and their parents dressed them in drag for an open casket funeral, and referred to their gender incorrectly there and in public. But what's the big deal? Those of us who weren't assholes can just have our own memorial service for that person.

Last edited by brayzie; 11-25-14 at 06:50 AM.
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Old 11-25-14, 06:24 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Pretty disgusting. This clearly goes against her wishes. That's why we all need a will...
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Old 11-25-14, 06:31 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Originally Posted by dave-o View Post
Pretty disgusting. This clearly goes against her wishes. That's why we all need a will...
I guess a will would ultimately solve a problem like this. I can see it from the parents perspective though. They want to see their child as they want to remember them. To them it's probably being respectful and giving dignity.
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Old 11-25-14, 06:42 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Originally Posted by DeputyDave View Post
I guess I just don't see it as being important. A dead body is a dead body. I could give a rat's ass what happened to my corpse after I died, or what is said. If the friends and any family who want to honor her life as a woman and hold their own memorial service then they should.
That's the thing though. You probably didn't have a huge change like this. A person doing that change probably wants to be known for who they were for the change than before it.

Personally just burn up my body and flush the ashes down then have a drink for me. But if I had an open casket I'd probably want to be displayed in the form that I myself displayed myself as. In this case of gender.... I would want to be buried as a guy.
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Old 11-25-14, 07:15 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Originally Posted by Solid Snake View Post
That's the thing though. You probably didn't have a huge change like this. A person doing that change probably wants to be known for who they were for the change than before it.

Personally just burn up my body and flush the ashes down then have a drink for me. But if I had an open casket I'd probably want to be displayed in the form that I myself displayed myself as. In this case of gender.... I would want to be buried as a guy.
You're dead. Your corpse can be raped by a 1,000 rabid monkeys while displayed nationwide on pay per view and it would make no difference to you. I guess I am too much of a pragmatist. Funerals and services are for the living, the dead don't care. Let the family hold the "my son was a straight man" service at one place and let the friends hold the "this is who she really was" service at another.
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Old 11-25-14, 07:29 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Originally Posted by DeputyDave View Post
You're dead. Your corpse can be raped by a 1,000 rabid monkeys while displayed nationwide on pay per view and it would make no difference to you. I guess I am too much of a pragmatist. Funerals and services are for the living, the dead don't care. Let the family hold the "my son was a straight man" service at one place and let the friends hold the "this is who she really was" service at another.
And you want them to move the body around for that or at the same place, different time or what?

Funerals are for the living but they're there to pay respects to the dead. They weren't respecting the dead. Making her into a man isn't respecting or honoring the dead. It's bs revisionism for the parents.
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Old 11-25-14, 07:32 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Not the same thing, but a few months back a friend passed away suddenly at a young age (32). Her parents referred to her longtime partner as "her roommate" in the obit.

A will, people should have one. It's the ironclad way for me to be buried in my Batman mask that terrifies my wife.

As for funerals being for the living, it sounds Like most of the living who knew her knew her as a woman. It would suck to show up at a co-worker's funeral to see a face you didn't know.
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Old 11-25-14, 07:35 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Well I'm not going to argue. I see it as silly either way. Not everyone can be as smart or enlightened as me and I will just have to accept that.
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Old 11-25-14, 07:42 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Originally Posted by DeputyDave View Post
You're dead. Your corpse can be raped by a 1,000 rabid monkeys while displayed nationwide on pay per view and it would make no difference to you. I guess I am too much of a pragmatist. Funerals and services are for the living, the dead don't care. Let the family hold the "my son was a straight man" service at one place and let the friends hold the "this is who she really was" service at another.
Then why have a will? You're going to be dead anyways, so why worry who gets what after you're dead? You'll be dead, you'll never know for sure if they really got it anyways. The world ceases to exist for all you know after you die. Why make arrangements for a place in the cemetery for your casket? For all you know they can cremate you, or dump your casket at sea?

I don't know about you but if there was a pay-per-view showing of corpses being raped by rabid animals I would be pretty fucking outraged. I wouldn't just be like, "what's the big deal? They're already dead."
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Old 11-25-14, 07:52 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Originally Posted by brayzie View Post
Then why have a will? You're going to be dead anyways, so why worry who gets what after you're dead? You'll be dead, you'll never know for sure if they really got it anyways. The world ceases to exist for all you know after you die. Why make arrangements for a place in the cemetery for your casket? For all you know they can cremate you, or dump your casket at sea?

I don't know about you but if there was a pay-per-view showing of corpses being raped by rabid animals I would be pretty fucking outraged. I wouldn't just be like, "what's the big deal? They're already dead."
Obviously I would use my will to make sure my vast fortune goes to people I want but what happens to my body is the very least of my worries.
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Old 11-25-14, 08:37 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

I think the decision should be made by a bunch of goobers on an internet forum, the parents should have no say.
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Old 11-25-14, 08:38 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

This reminds me of the funeral of a gay man that I attended several years ago. The eulogy spoke of him being a Boy Scout, being in high school band, and then graduating and joining the Navy. No mention was made of his life after age eighteen.

It was pretty obvious that the parents had provided the eulogy. I don't know what their motivation was. Maybe they had cast them out of their lives and they hadn't cared, or maybe his childhood had been so unpleasant that he had never called, or maybe they they knew about his partner and friends and they wanted to give the middle finger to everyone else in the chapel.

In this case, the parents were definitely giving the middle finger to everyone else in attendance.
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Old 11-25-14, 08:54 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

If I'm dead I don't care what happens to my body, just throw me in the trash.
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Old 11-25-14, 09:37 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post
In this case, the parents were definitely giving the middle finger to everyone else in attendance.
Yeah, pretty much. It's sad.
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Old 11-25-14, 09:43 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Originally Posted by DeputyDave View Post
Obviously I would use my will to make sure my vast fortune goes to people I want but what happens to my body is the very least of my worries.
Can I have your Blu-rays?
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Old 11-25-14, 11:27 AM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Originally Posted by DeputyDave View Post
Obviously I would use my will to make sure my vast fortune goes to people I want but what happens to my body is the very least of my worries.
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Old 11-25-14, 12:02 PM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Very shitty of the family. Fuck 'em. Would bang.
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Old 11-25-14, 12:10 PM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Add me to the "who cares" list. I pretty much agree with Deputy Dave.
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Old 11-25-14, 01:25 PM
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Re: Transgender Woman's Family Presents Her as a Man at Open Casket Funeral

Should have done a "two-face" thing where the left half of the body is made up as male and the other as female. They could place a reflective film like mylar directly over the middle of the body at a perpendicular up angle so that from each side they would see a full version of that gender.

Then as mourners arrive, they could be asked whose funeral they are attending. If Jennifer, they would be seated on one side and if Geoff, then the other side.

Perfect solution for everyone and everyone would be sooo pleased!
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