Go Back  DVD Talk Forum > General Discussions > Other Talk
Reload this Page >

Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Old 10-06-14, 05:41 PM
  #1  
DVD Talk Legend
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Sacramento, Calif.
Posts: 13,526
Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Here's the woman who wrote the article:





Here is part of her profile. For some reason, she's baffled she can't get a date.



For the life of me, I cannot get a date. Just typing that sentence stung. As a single, straight female living in a metropolitan neighborhood, one would think that it would be fairly simple to meet men. I'm not a huge drinker, so the bar scene has never really been my thing. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I'm not into one night stands either.

Although I am an introvert and would rather spend time with my cat while watching Netflix, I ventured out of my comfort zone and joined a co-ed softball league and registered for a comedy class. That was a bust. Most of the guys were taken, while the others showed zero interest in my lame attempts to flirt. When that didn't pan out, I turned to the one avenue that has never let me down: the Internet.

Online dating seemed ideal, and was surely going to be the gateway to widen my dating horizons. As a writer and a marketer, it should have been almost effortless to create a dazzling dating profile. No awkward pick-up lines, or reading between the lines. In this digital dating landscape, I was able to put my best self first.

Similar to online shopping for shoes, I perused the catalog of men "selected" specifically for me. What could be better than having tailored dates sent in my inbox every day?

Over a span of a week, I reached out to 10 different guys, crafting short but thoughtful messages. Radio silence followed.

Determined, I scoped out more matches, reached out and waited for a bite. Nope -- it ended up being another round of rejections. So really, it was like being shot down by 20 consecutive times. Twenty men that were perfect for me based on my personality and interests were not interested in me even though I "looked" and "sounded" my best. Even at my best I was not desirable. To someone who struggles with self-esteem issues on an hourly basis, this was a kick in the gut.

After a month of only getting two messages from men that were not my type, and receiving no response from any of my "matches" (there had to be over 40 at that point), I enlisted feedback from my friends.

I was positive switching out profile photos, having my best friend pen a wittier "about me" summary and broadening my "match" settings would make a world of difference to potential suitors. It was a digital makeover, and just like in the movies where the girl turns heads after her transformation, my new profile would gain traction.

Nothing happened. My inbox remained empty, and my insecurities were increasing with each click. What was turning them away? Was it my looks -- which was based on the best photos of me? Or was it my personality, my being? Something has to be turning them off, and the speculation of what it could be has rattled my confidence.

If I am being myself and it hasn't attracted anyone, then perhaps I have way bigger fish to fry than trying to get a date.

Online dating has made me feel more alone and rejected than ever. Because it has been such a draining experience, I made the decision to delete all of my online dating profiles, five profiles altogether.

Has anyone else ever experienced a similar situation in online dating? Instead of lifting you up, has it shaken up the stability your self-image? They say love hurts, but being rejected before you're even acknowledged hurts even more.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/xojane...b_5909274.html

If that's the best profile her friend can come up with, then she needs a new friend. She's also rejected people that have messaged her. Maybe she's not the "type" of any of the people she had messaged. This sound more like a pity party than anything else, but it made the front page of Yahoo the other day.
My Other Self is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 05:47 PM
  #2  
Moderator
 
Groucho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Posts: 70,825
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

I'm not part of the "dating scene" but if I were I'm pretty sure any profile with the word "cat" and two uses of "awkward" would be huge red flags.
Groucho is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 05:47 PM
  #3  
HN
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
 
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 8,359
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

i don't see how she's blaming the internet
HN is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 05:54 PM
  #4  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Ash Ketchum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 11,612
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Originally Posted by HN View Post
i don't see how she's blaming the internet
I think she's blaming the internet for making her feel worse about herself than she did before, and that her self-esteem is even lower now after being rejected by potential internet dates.
Ash Ketchum is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 05:54 PM
  #5  
DVD Talk Reviewer
 
Kurt D's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,772
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Peanut butter smoothie did it for me. That is just wrong.
Kurt D is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 06:15 PM
  #6  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 816
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Maybe she is overly picky. If my ugly awkward ass can not only find a date but a happy marriage on the internet, their is hope for anyone. The type she is after is probably not interested in her, kind of like the ones that showed interest in her were not her type.
DaveCole is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 06:22 PM
  #7  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Mrs. Danger's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: With Nick Danger
Posts: 17,795
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Online dating: The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Mrs. Danger is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 06:26 PM
  #8  
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,042
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

People on online dating sites tend to be more critical when choosing a potential date. I'd like to see who she's writing to - they're probably guys out of her league.
GMan2819 is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 06:26 PM
  #9  
DVD Talk Ruler
 
General Zod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Santa Clarita, CA
Posts: 21,392
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

She seems to be unsure about Hulu or Netflix in bed. Until that is sorted out how can she possibly figure out what kind of man she wants?
General Zod is online now  
Old 10-06-14, 06:35 PM
  #10  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
SterlingBen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Tulsa
Posts: 6,921
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Even without the fatty picture that profile would make me not want to date this person.
SterlingBen is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 06:36 PM
  #11  
DVD Talk Special Edition
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: S.F. Bay Area
Posts: 1,173
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

I need an EddieMoney rating.
ResIpsa is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 06:44 PM
  #12  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Shazam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Canuckistan
Posts: 10,027
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

What's grundle up to?
Shazam is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 06:55 PM
  #13  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 12,915
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Hmmmm, I'd have sent her a message. She seems like she could be a bit annoying but she's my type physically. Actually I may take that back because she looks completely different in the first picture.
Timber is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 06:55 PM
  #14  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Why So Blu?'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 30,339
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

She's cute. I wouldn't do her but if she were 80 lbs lighter then maybe...



I agree with the posters who said that it's a pity party and that she messaged dudes that were out of her league, granted, if those dudes had gone through with messaging her back and setting up a date or two then everyone would have been gotten laid.
Why So Blu? is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 06:57 PM
  #15  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Why So Blu?'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 30,339
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Originally Posted by Timber View Post
Hmmmm, I'd have sent her a message. She seems like she could be a bit annoying but she's my type physically. Actually I may take that back because she looks completely different in the first picture.
She looks thinner in the first picture, ironically.
Why So Blu? is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 07:37 PM
  #16  
Political Exile
 
grundle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 16,284
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Originally Posted by Shazam View Post
What's grundle up to?
I'm obsessed with 80s music, not 90s music.

grundle is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 07:48 PM
  #17  
Video Game Talk Reviewer
 
Canis Firebrand's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Formerly known as "Vryce"/Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 13,857
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

She should join the site and make a thread in Other.. she seems par for the typical poster here when they post a question or issue they need assistance from.



No one will date me... what's wrong with everybody else?
Canis Firebrand is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 08:10 PM
  #18  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Norm de Plume's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Toronto
Posts: 15,275
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

She's not "ugly" (subjectively) and seems reasonably intelligent (both qualities that many people who do have spouses don't possess), so I don't know why she can't get a date. Maybe she's setting her sights too high, or her personality is off-putting in some way. Her interests do seem rather limited and immature.
Norm de Plume is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 08:18 PM
  #19  
DVD Talk Godfather
 
DVD Polizei's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 52,442
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Online dating has made me feel more alone and rejected than ever. Because it has been such a draining experience, I made the decision to delete all of my online dating profiles, five profiles altogether.
This is probably the biggest mistake people make when using the internet for social satisfaction. If you're not confident in yourself, and you have insecurities, they'll be exploited to the maximum online, and you'll come face to face with your worst enemy...yourself.

People think going online is going to solve their "scarcity" problem -- whatever it may be (because the internet has so much of everything, right? How could you lose?), and the only thing that will happen, is revealing of their behaviors on an exponential level, which will undermine and thwart their efforts.
DVD Polizei is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 08:37 PM
  #20  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Why So Blu?'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 30,339
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Originally Posted by DVD Polizei View Post
This is probably the biggest mistake people make when using the internet for social satisfaction. If you're not confident in yourself, and you have insecurities, they'll be exploited to the maximum online, and you'll come face to face with your worst enemy...yourself.

People think going online is going to solve their "scarcity" problem -- whatever it may be (because the internet has so much of everything, right? How could you lose?), and the only thing that will happen, is revealing of their behaviors on an exponential level, which will undermine and thwart their efforts.

Yup. If you're going to go online and play the game then make sure you're working on that inner game at the same time.
Why So Blu? is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 08:58 PM
  #21  
Cool New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 38
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

How is this news?
niffty is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 09:18 PM
  #22  
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,589
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

I really did not see any red flags with the ad itself. I am missing something?
Xiroteus is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 09:40 PM
  #23  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sugar Land, TX
Posts: 14,338
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Originally Posted by Xiroteus View Post
I really did not see any red flags with the ad itself. I am missing something?
Shitty music, shitty smoothies and the Muppets.

For me, she pretty much admits that she would rather sit around and watch TV than get out and do stuff. She seems to have no hobbies or interests. Simply put, she is boring.
cdollaz is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 09:59 PM
  #24  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Was Phoenix, now Singapore
Posts: 310
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

Originally Posted by cdollaz View Post
Shitty music, shitty smoothies and the Muppets.

For me, she pretty much admits that she would rather sit around and watch TV than get out and do stuff. She seems to have no hobbies or interests. Simply put, she is boring.
That was my interpretation. If she has some hobbies, she would not be so overweight. When I read her profile it sounds like she just needs a warm body with a "stiffy".

Maybe she should get a dog. She can take "fido" to the park and run with him (thus losing the excess weight). "Fido" can pick out a boyfriend for her.
SeekingZen is offline  
Old 10-06-14, 10:24 PM
  #25  
Admin-Thanos
 
VinVega's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Caught between the moon and NYC
Posts: 31,513
Re: Woman Can't Find a Date Online and Blames the Internet

She could have mentioned that she's an animal lover and a bit of an introvert. She doesn't have to mention that a good time for her is sitting in her bed with her cat, watching netflix. That's not inspiring in the dating scene. Take out that section or rewrite it and it's an instant improvement.
VinVega is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.