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Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Old 10-03-14, 11:00 AM
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Any Otters been in an open relationship?

I'm curious if any Otters here have ever been in any sort of open/polyamorous relationships or anything of the like?

Good/bad experiences?

My girlfriend and I are looking into it. I'm a little more old-fashioned than she is. She's bi so there are needs that I can't exactly meet and we're just looking into things. I attach love and sex and all that and she's pretty detached when it comes to that department. Also, she's been with a lot more people than I have. We love each other very much but she just doesn't have the attachment to sex. She sees sex for what it is, feeling good. I have slightly different views but I can see where she's coming from and I agree with her on most aspects of subject. I've just had some issues with detaching.

Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Let the flogging begin!
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Old 10-03-14, 11:02 AM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Find a new girlfriend. One who solely likes the dick.
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Old 10-03-14, 11:08 AM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

I think agreeing to an "open relationship" is a fairly extreme step.

Before going down that route, I would suggest first trying to meet her needs by shaving all your body hair, having breast augmentation surgery, and agreeing to dress like a women as she requires. And if that doesn't work, THEN you can go to the open relationship.
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Old 10-03-14, 11:13 AM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

One of 2 things will happen. Either you'll relax your feelings about attachment to sex, or you'll get more and more jealous as time goes on and the relationship will implode. Either way, you'll have fodder for a lot of stories to tell your friends after a few drinks and will have crossed several things off of your bucket list.

More serious answer - there is nothing wrong with it, but you have to go in not getting jealous. Not everyone can do that and that's not a bad thing. If you can find a happy medium where neither of you is sacrificing to make the other happy, then you can be in for a wild ride.
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Old 10-03-14, 11:18 AM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

I think you already know the answer, based on what you said in your post. You know yourself and should trust your instincts on this one...otherwise I see a mess in your future.
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Old 10-03-14, 11:20 AM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

It's not going to work. Open relationships NEVER work. I've never been in one but I've seen enough of them to know that it always ends the same: one person is worse off than the other and after a few months of denial they realize that it's not working and end things permanently.

It doesn't seem you're both into the polygamy thing so chances of it working out for you guys is slim.

My advice is to ask for a threesome. It won't work in fixing the sexual part of your relationship. But hey... threesome.
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Old 10-03-14, 11:26 AM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

I agreed to one while I was in my early 20s. It sucked. As noted above, you already have your answer. Give it a shot if you want, but be prepared for heartache. The only upside is if you get to enjoy frequent three-ways. That might ease the inevitable pain.
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Old 10-03-14, 11:53 AM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Cool = you banging other chicks, her banging other chicks, both of you together banging other chicks in a threesome

Not cool = her banging other dudes

Kind of selfish but this is the only way it would probably work from a guys perspective.
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Old 10-03-14, 12:01 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

I was in one sort of. I dated a married woman. It's not ending well for that couple.

One or both of you will end up finding someone that is a better fit for you than the original couple and will end up wanting to be in a monogamous relationship with that new person. Plus it's far easier for women already in relationships to find guys that are willing to have sex with them than it is for guys already in relationships.
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Old 10-03-14, 12:03 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Where the hell are the pics?
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Old 10-03-14, 12:05 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

No matter how much you convince yourself you are open minded or cool with it. YOU will become jealous of her with someone else even a female. They will do things without you...even if you get to contribute together. If the other gal is a lesbian and not bi you are fucked. Or so I have been told...
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Old 10-03-14, 12:07 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

I don't see how it will work, unless you both are on the same page. It doesn't sound like you are. The problem is if you don't go for an open relationship, it's possible she will grow to resent you because you can't/won't meet her needs.
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Old 10-03-14, 12:11 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Originally Posted by RagingBull80 View Post
I'm a little more old-fashioned than she is.

I attach love and sex and all that and she's pretty detached when it comes to that department. Also, she's been with a lot more people than I have.

I have slightly different views but I can see where she's coming from and I agree with her on most aspects of subject. I've just had some issues with detaching.
I am pretty sure you answered your own question based upon those statements.

Don't do it as you already know how this ends.
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Old 10-03-14, 12:15 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

I have a buddy who used to have an open relationship with his wife. It was all about him getting to sleep with other chicks. Until one day his wife slept with a dude that could hit spots my buddy couldn't, and suddenly he hated the idea of an open relationship. Divorce City grew in population by 2.
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Old 10-03-14, 12:16 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Originally Posted by shazam View Post
where the hell are the pics?
this!
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Old 10-03-14, 12:27 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

I say go for it! At the very least we get an early contender for thread of the year for 2015!
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Old 10-03-14, 12:43 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Paging KittyDreamer?
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Old 10-03-14, 01:04 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

We're actually working on the threesome thing. She absolutely wants to have a threesome with a girl. I absolutely want to have a threesome with another girl because WEEEEE!. She also wants the other kind of threesome which involves more penis. While I'm not terribly into it, I'll do it for her.

inri222 kind of hit the nail on the head. It's a double standard but that's just the way it is.

The thing is, she would much rather be with a girl but we're having trouble finding anyone interested (yay Oklahoma). She doesn't want to sleep with another guy independent of me. She likes the male-female-male thing though. She's only done MFM one other time and she wants it again. If it were up to her we would have threesomes with chicks all the time. Finding chicks interested though is another thing. On the flip-side, we're turning down like fifteen dudes a day.
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Old 10-03-14, 01:06 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Just don't cross swords or make eye-contact.
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Old 10-03-14, 01:07 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Originally Posted by RagingBull80 View Post
If it were up to her we would have threesomes with chicks all the time.
This is a clear warning sign.
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Old 10-03-14, 01:10 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Originally Posted by Timber View Post
This is a clear warning sign.
Meaning...oh no...
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Old 10-03-14, 01:21 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Still no pics.

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Old 10-03-14, 01:29 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

I'll give you guys pictures of me but I don't think that's what you want?

I've been told that gay guys think I'm quite nice.
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Old 10-03-14, 01:30 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

I cannot answer the question without pics.
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Old 10-03-14, 01:46 PM
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Re: Any Otters been in an open relationship?

Originally Posted by Groucho View Post
Just don't cross swords or make eye-contact.
Sorry, accidentally posted this here instead of the "Touch Base Meeting" thread.
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