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Should i go out with this asian milf?

Old 01-22-14, 12:11 PM
  #176  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Timeandtide is proof that even the best storytellers need a gifted editor to truly make their work shine.
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Old 01-22-14, 12:13 PM
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by TimeandTide View Post
"The Drive"

We get in the car and as I exit the mall, I think, "Damn, I'm gonna go to her house for the possibility of SOMETHING."

But he keeps talking about signs, so I ask, "What's yours?"

"Aries," she replies.

"Yeah, I don't know anything about that," I admit.

"They're the most hardworking and helpful."

I want to ask, "What are their bad points?", but I don't.

So then we just exit onto the street and I could have kept going straight under the bridge, the way we came in, yet for no reason at all I turn right onto streets I don't know because my brain is dealing with her now.

We're driving on Pico and at one point the 10 passes by and she says, "You can take it if you want," but I don't.

Then '80s songs come on and she sings along.

"You know these?!" I ask.

I am in the right lane and I see a sign that reads "405 ahead" and I think "Yes! We're heading in the right direction!"

At one point we stop because there's a car that has to park but I'm talking to her about stuff and THEN: "What the fuck is going here?!"

She laughs and we pass by the parked car and I ask her about what movies she has seen and she replies with a laugh, "Frozen".

"Is that a cartoon?" I ask.

She laughs and at one point she even fucking TICKLES me.

Then I see the skyline on the horizon and think, "Shit," because there's a cop car driving pretty close to me, just ahead on the left.

"Imagine if you just drove straight into a cop car as an accident. I wonder how big the fine would be," she says.

I was unknowingly still heading toward Hollywood. (I could have just been going West for all I fucking knew.) As we enter La Brea I say, "We're in Mid- City!" because my pal lives there, and she repeats, "We are in Mid- City", impressed that I knew my shit.

At a stop light she looks right and sees a pole dance studio. "Wow, check out the pole dancing."

"I'm not a very good pole dancer," I reply.

She says, "My friends are strippers so I've seen that stuff before." Then: "There's supposed to be a street so turn left on that."

But it doesn't come up so it's some other street and we go left. Finally, we see the Hollywood sign.

Remembering our conversation from before she got distracted by pole dancing and strippers, I say, "I only saw Star Trek: Into Darkness and the new Superman." Then, because I'm super fucking random, I add, "So, you knew of the Whiskey?"

"Yeah."

"You know, that sign is haunted," I randomly interject.

We turn right on Hollywood Blvd. We enter her street and I park and we get out, finally, and walk on. She wraps her arm around mine so I simply raise my elbow like Peter Sellers in The Party and we walk.

FINIS
This reads like a Tarantino script.
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Old 01-22-14, 12:45 PM
  #178  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

More like Raymond Chandler on ecstacy
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Old 01-22-14, 12:53 PM
  #179  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by Abob Teff View Post
Three pages ago I was afraid this had run out of steam. Boy was I wrong. If only I could get a free Icee refill ...

To those who skipped Duff's posts due to the lack of punctuation (or any frayed thread which would tie it back to reality) ... you MUST go back and read them. You don't understand what you are missing.
My head literally hurts after reading them.
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Old 01-22-14, 01:26 PM
  #180  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

When I was four years old, I watched my mother kill a spider... with a teacosy. Years later, I realised it was not a spider - it was my Uncle Harold.
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Old 01-22-14, 01:28 PM
  #181  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by DarthVong View Post
When I was four years old, I watched my mother kill a spider... with a teacosy. Years later, I realised it was not a spider - it was my Uncle Harold.
Wait a minute, your uncle Harold looked enough like a spider to be mistaken for one? That's just weird. Almost as weird as an Asian chick looking like a cross between a porn star and Smegal.
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Old 01-22-14, 03:46 PM
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Did she says she wants to hang out again? Have you guys texted/called each other since?
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Old 01-22-14, 04:05 PM
  #183  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Have we asked for a real pic yet? At this point we should be determining if she is guilty or not yet.
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Old 01-22-14, 04:25 PM
  #184  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

How can anyone read more than two sentences of this?
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Old 01-22-14, 04:49 PM
  #185  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by The Bus View Post
How can anyone read more than two sentences of this?
Alcohol helps.
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Old 01-22-14, 04:53 PM
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by Navinabob View Post
Have we asked for a real pic yet? At this point we should be determining if she is guilty or not yet.
Yes, we have. Very early on. Dude won't abide. He is too busy being retarded and semi-illiterate.
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Old 01-22-14, 05:14 PM
  #187  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by EddieMoney View Post
Would bang.
It goes without saying.
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Old 01-22-14, 05:22 PM
  #188  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by van der graaf View Post
Yes, we have. Very early on. Dude won't abide. He is too busy being retarded and semi-illiterate.
I think he's idiot savant not retarded. His writing definitely shows a peculiar outlook on life. Sort of Rain Man meets Steven Wright.
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Old 01-22-14, 07:27 PM
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by Kmical View Post

Thank you!

I now have a new profile picture for Facebook ... and maybe Match.com

Likes: seafood, shiny rings, and talking to myself.
Dislikes: little people ... nasty Hobbitses they are.
use it on match and let me know how that works out for ya
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Old 01-22-14, 11:41 PM
  #190  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Guys c'mon. That was done quick so i wouldn't forget anything. You can check my posting history for "proper writing". It does read like something wacky because i was merely reacting to her -- remember she literally sat in front of me at a cafe -- so there's that.
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Old 01-23-14, 12:04 AM
  #191  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by duff beer View Post
Guys c'mon. That was done quick so i wouldn't forget anything. You can check my posting history for "proper writing". It does read like something wacky because i was merely reacting to her -- remember she literally sat in front of me at a cafe -- so there's that.
Answer me this: why do you despise commas so much? Did they rape your childhood, kick your family dog, molest your favorite cousin, what exactly?

Oh, and, PICS???
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Old 01-23-14, 12:26 AM
  #192  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

I dunno , one of the things i think i do is prolong sentences with too many.
Pics i don't have her, the pic was an idealistic thinking i had until i was proven incorrect.
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Old 01-23-14, 01:48 AM
  #193  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by duff beer View Post
I dunno , one of the things i think i do is prolong sentences with too many.
Pics i don't have her, the pic was an idealistic thinking i had until i was proven incorrect.
In Mother Russia, pics have her.
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Old 01-23-14, 11:28 PM
  #194  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Reminds me of the poetry of Richard Brautigan ...
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Old 01-24-14, 04:11 PM
  #195  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by Abob Teff View Post
Reminds me of the poetry of Richard Brautigan ...
Didn't that guy end up killing himself?
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Old 01-24-14, 04:35 PM
  #196  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by Abob Teff View Post
Reminds me of the poetry of Danol ...
Fixed
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Old 01-24-14, 08:23 PM
  #197  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by van der graaf View Post
Answer me this: why do you despise commas so much? Did they rape your childhood, kick your family dog, molest your favorite cousin, what exactly?

Oh, and, PICS???
I don't want pics of that.
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Old 01-25-14, 01:31 AM
  #198  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by Franchot View Post
Didn't that guy end up killing himself?
Holy shit ... you are the first person who knew who he was!

Yes ... I believe he killed almost every word he ever wrote, too.
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