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Should i go out with this asian milf?

Old 01-21-14, 05:13 PM
  #151  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

It reads easier in jive:

Spoiler:
De roll: We git in wheels as ah' exit mall and ah' dink "damn i'm gonna go t'ha' house fo' possibility uh SOMETHING…"

So's she keeps rapin' about signs. ah' go "whuts yo's" she goes "aries" ah' go "yeah idk anydin' about dat", "dey're da damn most hardwo'kin', and helpful, and blah blah" ah' wanna say whuts deir bad-ass points but don't.

So den we plum exit into de street and ah' could gots' kept goin' straight out unda' dat bridge da damn way we came in yet fo' no reason ah' turn right, into streets ah' don't know cuz' my brain be dealin' wid ha' now.

We're constantly drivin' on pico. At one point da damn 10 passes by she goes "ya' kin snatch it if ya' wants'" so's i turn so'ta but don't.

Den de songs mosey on down on fum de 80s and she sin's dem some lot. ah' go "ya' know dese?. Right On! " ah' am on de right lane btw and ah' see some sign dat says "405 a'haid" and dink yes. Right On!

Den we're still on dere, de street be ongoin'. at one point we stop cuz' dere's some car dat gots'ta t'park but i'm rapin' t'ha' about stuff. What it is, Mama! So den realize "wtf be goin' here. Right On! ??. Right On! ?" and say "WHAT dhhheeee" and she laughs. den we pass it by. Slap mah fro!

So ah' ax' ha' whut movies gots'ta she seen and she says "i've seen frozen hahah" and ah' go "dat cartoon ?" den she laughs?

At one point she fuckin' tickles me. What it is, Mama!

Den ah' see da damn waaay downtown buildin's on de ho'izon and dink shit. Den dere's some cop wheels dat be drivin' pretty close t'me but plum a'haid on de left and she goes "wow imagine if ya' plum drove straight into some cop wheels as an accident, how much fines ya''d git".

It would've been bad-ass de roll but at least ah' wuz unknowin'ly still 'haidin' toward hollywood (i could gots' plum been goin' west fo' all ah' fuckin' knowed) plum on streets.

We enta' La Brea and ah' say "we're in mid city. Right On! " cuz' my pal lives here, she goes "we are in mid city" t'reaffirm dat ah' still knowed mah' shit. At some stop she looks right and sees some pole boogy studio, "wow check out dat pole dancin'" so's i go "i'm not some very baaaad pole dancer" and she goes "my homeys are strippuh's so's i've seen dat stuff befo'e", den uhhh she says "deres sdownposed t'be some street blah so's turn left on dat" but it duzn't mosey on down down so's its some oda' street and den we go left.

Finally hollywood sign be seen. 'S coo', bro. Den ah' go "i only saw star trek, de new sdownerman, and dats it" ah' go "so ya' knowed uh de whiskey some go go " ah' guess, her, dig dis: "yeah blah blah". Den ah' go "ya' know dat sign be haunted," t'her. Ah be baaad...

We turn right on hollywood. We plum enta' ha' street and ah' park den we git out finally and walk on, she wraps ha' arm around mine so's i simply raise mah' elbow likes in dose snooty english party movies and we walk. Btw dis be less detail cuz' i plum typed it down unlikes de oda' one where ah' would not rememba' any uh dat had ah' dun did not do it da damn same night.


(golly)
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Old 01-21-14, 05:30 PM
  #152  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Reading his guy's diatribes makes me feel like I'm doing this.


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Old 01-21-14, 07:36 PM
  #153  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by cungar View Post
Someone want to have a go at what this means. I'd like to learn how to raise my elbow promenade style.
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Old 01-21-14, 08:44 PM
  #154  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Spoiler:
Originally Posted by duff beer View Post
The drive:
We get in car as i exit mall and i think "damn i'm gonna go to her house for possibility of SOMETHING…" so she keeps talking about signs. i go "whats yours" she goes "aries" i go "yeah idk anything about that", "they're the most hardworking, and helpful, and blah blah" i want to say whats their bad points but don't. So then we just exit into the street and i could have kept going straight out under that bridge the way we came in yet for no reason i turn right, into streets i don't know because my brain is dealing with her now. Wwe're constantly driving on pico. At one point the 10 passes by she goes "you can take it if you want" so i turn sorta but don't. Then the songs come on from the 80s and she sings them a lot. I go "you know these?!" I am on the right lane btw and i see a sign that says "405 ahead" and think yes! Then we're still on there, the street is ongoing. at one point we stop because there's a car that has to park but i'm talking to her about stuff. So then realize "wtf is going here!??!?" and say "WHAT thhhheeee" and she laughs. then we pass it by. So i ask her what movies has she seen and she says "i've seen frozen hahah" and i go "that cartoon ?" then she laughs? At one point she fucking tickles me. Then i see the downtown buildings on the horizon and think shit. Then there's a cop car that is driving pretty close to me but just ahead on the left and she goes "wow imagine if you just drove straight into a cop car as an accident, how much fines you'd get". It would've been bad the drive but at least i was unknowingly still heading toward hollywood (i could have just been going west for all i fucking knew) just on streets. We enter La Brea and i say "we're in mid city!" because my pal lives here, she goes "we are in mid city" to reaffirm that i still knew my shit. At a stop she looks right and sees a pole dance studio, "wow check out that pole dancing" so i go "i'm not a very good pole dancer" and she goes "my friends are strippers so i've seen that stuff before", then uhhh she says "theres supposed to be a street blah so turn left on that" but it doesn't come up so its some other street and then we go left. Finally hollywood sign is seen. Then i go "i only saw star trek, the new superman, and thats it" I go "so you knew of the whiskey a go go " i guess, her: "yeah blah blah". Then i go "you know that sign is haunted," to her. We turn right on hollywood. We just enter her street and i park then we get out finally and walk on, she wraps her arm around mine so i simply raise my elbow like in those snooty english party movies and we walk.
Btw this is less detail because i just typed it up unlike the other one where i would not remember any of that had i did not do it the same night.


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Old 01-21-14, 08:46 PM
  #155  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Instead of trying to tackle that gnarled mess of the English language, I'll just wait for the TimeandTide translation...
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Old 01-21-14, 09:04 PM
  #156  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

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Old 01-21-14, 09:13 PM
  #157  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

This thread would confuse David Lynch.
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Old 01-21-14, 10:35 PM
  #158  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Thanks for the translation, Tide. That was...autism?
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Old 01-21-14, 11:28 PM
  #159  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Picture of OP:



Picture of asian chick:

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Old 01-21-14, 11:34 PM
  #160  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

You should have cut over to Olympic. It's faster than Pico.

When is your next date?
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Old 01-22-14, 12:20 AM
  #161  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by spainlinx0 View Post
Thanks for the translation, Tide. That was...autism?


More like a really slow day at work.
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Old 01-22-14, 12:22 AM
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Wha da fock
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Old 01-22-14, 12:26 AM
  #163  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Three pages ago I was afraid this had run out of steam. Boy was I wrong. If only I could get a free Icee refill ...

To those who skipped Duff's posts due to the lack of punctuation (or any frayed thread which would tie it back to reality) ... you MUST go back and read them. You don't understand what you are missing.
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Old 01-22-14, 12:47 AM
  #164  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by dave-o
I'll just wait for the TimeandTide translation...
"The Drive"

We get in the car and as I exit the mall, I think, "Damn, I'm gonna go to her house for the possibility of SOMETHING."

But he keeps talking about signs, so I ask, "What's yours?"

"Aries," she replies.

"Yeah, I don't know anything about that," I admit.

"They're the most hardworking and helpful."

I want to ask, "What are their bad points?", but I don't.

So then we just exit onto the street and I could have kept going straight under the bridge, the way we came in, yet for no reason at all I turn right onto streets I don't know because my brain is dealing with her now.

We're driving on Pico and at one point the 10 passes by and she says, "You can take it if you want," but I don't.

Then '80s songs come on and she sings along.

"You know these?!" I ask.

I am in the right lane and I see a sign that reads "405 ahead" and I think "Yes! We're heading in the right direction!"

At one point we stop because there's a car that has to park but I'm talking to her about stuff and THEN: "What the fuck is going here?!"

She laughs and we pass by the parked car and I ask her about what movies she has seen and she replies with a laugh, "Frozen".

"Is that a cartoon?" I ask.

She laughs and at one point she even fucking TICKLES me.

Then I see the skyline on the horizon and think, "Shit," because there's a cop car driving pretty close to me, just ahead on the left.

"Imagine if you just drove straight into a cop car as an accident. I wonder how big the fine would be," she says.

I was unknowingly still heading toward Hollywood. (I could have just been going West for all I fucking knew.) As we enter La Brea I say, "We're in Mid- City!" because my pal lives there, and she repeats, "We are in Mid- City", impressed that I knew my shit.

At a stop light she looks right and sees a pole dance studio. "Wow, check out the pole dancing."

"I'm not a very good pole dancer," I reply.

She says, "My friends are strippers so I've seen that stuff before." Then: "There's supposed to be a street so turn left on that."

But it doesn't come up so it's some other street and we go left. Finally, we see the Hollywood sign.

Remembering our conversation from before she got distracted by pole dancing and strippers, I say, "I only saw Star Trek: Into Darkness and the new Superman." Then, because I'm super fucking random, I add, "So, you knew of the Whiskey?"

"Yeah."

"You know, that sign is haunted," I randomly interject.

We turn right on Hollywood Blvd. We enter her street and I park and we get out, finally, and walk on. She wraps her arm around mine so I simply raise my elbow like Peter Sellers in The Party and we walk.

FINIS

Last edited by TimeandTide; 01-22-14 at 12:52 AM.
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Old 01-22-14, 08:15 AM
  #165  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

The Whiskey a Go Go is "some bar club"?

Read your history son

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whisky_a_Go_Go

In 1966, the Whisky was one of the centers of what fans call the Sunset Strip police riots.

Arguably, the rock and roll scene in Los Angeles was born when the Whisky started operation.

The Whisky played an important role in many musical careers, especially for bands based in Southern California. The Byrds, Alice Cooper, Buffalo Springfield, Smokestack Lightning and Love were regulars, and The Doors were the house band for a while—until the debut of the "Oedipal section" of "The End" got them fired. Van Morrison's band Them had a two-week residency in June 1966, with The Doors as the opening act. On the last night they all jammed together on "Gloria". Frank Zappa's Mothers of Invention got their record contract based on a performance at the Whisky. The Turtles performed there when their newest (and biggest-selling) single "Happy Together" was becoming a hit, only to lose their new bassist, Chip Douglas (who had arranged the song), to the Monkees; guitarist Michael Nesmith invited him to become their producer. (He returned to the Turtles a year later, to produce them.) Neil Diamond also played at the Whisky on occasion. Metallica bassist Cliff Burton was recruited by the band after they watched him play a show there.

Arthur Lee of Love immortalized the Whisky in the song "Maybe the People Would Be the Times or Between Clark and Hilldale". "Here they always play my songs," he would sing on the side two opener of Forever Changes. The Whisky was located on the strip between the streets Clark and Hilldale.

In the mid-1970s, the Whisky hosted stage presentations, including the long-running show The Cycle Sluts.

Against this new economic backdrop, a number of hard rock and metal bands, including Guns N' Roses, Metallica and Mötley Crüe rose to prominence in the 1980s.

During the early 1990s, the Whisky hosted a number of Seattle-based musicians who would be a part of the grunge movement, including Soundgarden, Mudhoney, Melvins, Fitz of Depression and 7 Year Bitch.[citation needed] Hole, who was based in Los Angeles,
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Old 01-22-14, 08:49 AM
  #166  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

That story makes me think of this.

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Old 01-22-14, 09:01 AM
  #167  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

I hope this thread has regular updates, it has potential.
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Old 01-22-14, 10:02 AM
  #168  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post
That story makes me think of this.

You're not an old Dr Demento listener like me are you?
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Old 01-22-14, 10:16 AM
  #169  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

I'm not sure why I enjoy the stories. They're hard to read, rambling, stream-of-consciousness, and I feel like either Duff or I am on some sort of drugs, but they're fun.

At one point she fucking tickles me.
That had me laughing. I'm picturing Duff being just furious at the fact that SmeagolChick fucking tickled him.
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Old 01-22-14, 10:29 AM
  #170  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Just this section alone should win some literary award

At one point the 10 passes by she goes "you can take it if you want" so i turn sorta but don't. Then the songs come on from the 80s and she sings them a lot. I go "you know these?!" I am on the right lane btw and i see a sign that says "405 ahead" and think yes! Then we're still on there, the street is ongoing. at one point we stop because there's a car that has to park but i'm talking to her about stuff. So then realize "wtf is going here!??!?" and say "WHAT thhhheeee" and she laughs. then we pass it by.
It's almost like they're song lyrics that read strangely because you have to know the melody to get their meaning.
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Old 01-22-14, 10:43 AM
  #171  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Have you read On the Road? The cadence and broken sentence structure and stream of consciousness of what duff wrote reminds me of Kerouac's On the Road.
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Old 01-22-14, 11:17 AM
  #172  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by story View Post
Have you read On the Road? The cadence and broken sentence structure and stream of consciousness of what duff wrote reminds me of Kerouac's On the Road.

Altered States of Style: The Drug-Induced Development of Jack Kerouac's Spontaneous Prose
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Old 01-22-14, 11:26 AM
  #173  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by van der graaf View Post
Thank you!

I now have a new profile picture for Facebook ... and maybe Match.com

Likes: seafood, shiny rings, and talking to myself.
Dislikes: little people ... nasty Hobbitses they are.
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Old 01-22-14, 11:39 AM
  #174  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by van der graaf View Post
Duff, what kind of retarded are you exactly?

Did she look something like this?
Would bang.
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Old 01-22-14, 11:48 AM
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by TimeandTide View Post
"The Drive"

We get in the car and as I exit the mall, I think, "Damn, I'm gonna go to her house for the possibility of SOMETHING."

But he keeps talking about signs, so I ask, "What's yours?"

"Aries," she replies.

"Yeah, I don't know anything about that," I admit.

"They're the most hardworking and helpful."

I want to ask, "What are their bad points?", but I don't.

So then we just exit onto the street and I could have kept going straight under the bridge, the way we came in, yet for no reason at all I turn right onto streets I don't know because my brain is dealing with her now.

We're driving on Pico and at one point the 10 passes by and she says, "You can take it if you want," but I don't.

Then '80s songs come on and she sings along.

"You know these?!" I ask.

I am in the right lane and I see a sign that reads "405 ahead" and I think "Yes! We're heading in the right direction!"

At one point we stop because there's a car that has to park but I'm talking to her about stuff and THEN: "What the fuck is going here?!"

She laughs and we pass by the parked car and I ask her about what movies she has seen and she replies with a laugh, "Frozen".

"Is that a cartoon?" I ask.

She laughs and at one point she even fucking TICKLES me.

Then I see the skyline on the horizon and think, "Shit," because there's a cop car driving pretty close to me, just ahead on the left.

"Imagine if you just drove straight into a cop car as an accident. I wonder how big the fine would be," she says.

I was unknowingly still heading toward Hollywood. (I could have just been going West for all I fucking knew.) As we enter La Brea I say, "We're in Mid- City!" because my pal lives there, and she repeats, "We are in Mid- City", impressed that I knew my shit.

At a stop light she looks right and sees a pole dance studio. "Wow, check out the pole dancing."

"I'm not a very good pole dancer," I reply.

She says, "My friends are strippers so I've seen that stuff before." Then: "There's supposed to be a street so turn left on that."

But it doesn't come up so it's some other street and we go left. Finally, we see the Hollywood sign.

Remembering our conversation from before she got distracted by pole dancing and strippers, I say, "I only saw Star Trek: Into Darkness and the new Superman." Then, because I'm super fucking random, I add, "So, you knew of the Whiskey?"

"Yeah."

"You know, that sign is haunted," I randomly interject.

We turn right on Hollywood Blvd. We enter her street and I park and we get out, finally, and walk on. She wraps her arm around mine so I simply raise my elbow like Peter Sellers in The Party and we walk.

FINIS


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