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Should i go out with this asian milf?

Old 01-21-14, 07:25 AM
  #126  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

I somehow missed the free sandwich part. My French isn't that great.............................
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Old 01-21-14, 08:04 AM
  #127  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

The kiss....on her cheek....was "bombin'"?
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Old 01-21-14, 08:54 AM
  #128  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by Quake1028 View Post
The kiss....on her cheek....was "bombin'"?
Does it say what cheek?
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Old 01-21-14, 09:17 AM
  #129  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Honestly I have no idea whats going on.. Part me of me wants to read that again out loud, but I'm afraid of unleashing some curse on to the world.
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Old 01-21-14, 09:43 AM
  #130  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Cormac McCarthy?
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Old 01-21-14, 10:30 AM
  #131  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by duff beer View Post
. Btw the drive from the westside pavilion to her apt was like an hour and in itself can be a story..
Post. That. Shit.

Also, please continue to update this thread on your next date. Have you called her back to see if she wants to meet again?
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Old 01-21-14, 10:46 AM
  #132  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by Duh Vuh Duh View Post
Post. That. Shit.

Also, please continue to update this thread on your next date. Have you called her back to see if she wants to feed you again?

Fixed!
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Old 01-21-14, 11:19 AM
  #133  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Can someone punctuate that story so I can read it? My brain turns off when there's a big block of text like that.
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Old 01-21-14, 12:15 PM
  #134  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by EddieMoney View Post
Cormac McCarthy?
I got the same impression.


That was a pretty interesting recount of your date. It's like a mildly dysfunctional speech-to-text program was used.

Please provide your drive home story.
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Old 01-21-14, 12:48 PM
  #135  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by spainlinx0 View Post
Can someone punctuate that story so I can read it? My brain turns off when there's a big block of text like that.
I agree, but read it anyway. Punctuation can't save it.


Originally Posted by mndtrp View Post
I got the same impression.


That was a pretty interesting recount of your date. It's like a mildly dysfunctional speech-to-text program was used.

Please provide your drive home story.
I was thinking the same thing. Or some random text generator that inserts specified keywords. It's just bizarre.
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Old 01-21-14, 01:02 PM
  #136  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by duff beer View Post
As we walk she takes my arm, and i raise my elbow promenade style.
Someone want to have a go at what this means. I'd like to learn how to raise my elbow promenade style.
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Old 01-21-14, 01:05 PM
  #137  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by spainlinx0 View Post
Can someone punctuate that story so I can read it?
Here:

I get out and walk over to the corner between [the] station and [the] car shop and [I] see her.

We hug.

"You're tall" are her first words. (She's like five feet tall).

We round the corner and [I see] her car. I just look at it while she calls [to] someone faraway about it. "Hmm," I think.

Then we walk back to [the] car and I start to [drive onto the] 405. While on the drive I am sorta tense, mainly due to the fact that I have this [Asian MILF] sitting next to me, but I try to be fun, yet also "whatever." So I occasionally pause and am silent, even when she is, and I remain that way. It is a bit of an exercise to be so since...yapping nonstop is something I have been doing a lot [of].

She also nudges me on stuff. She mentions something about a video of Kanye and Kim on some bike and they're having sex and I [reply] "Hell, yeah, that's hot!" just to reaffirm that I'm not ignoring it or bs'ing.

I pass by UCLA but make the decision to just enter the later exit by default as [we're going] to Westside Pavilion. I am on Wilshire and lose my way yet again and she, through [the] window, asks some people in a car where to go. (What the…?)

We enter and I gladly get a ticket that says "Under three hours and it's free!" I [exhaled a] "phew" since she has to be back by four (or whatever), as she so plainly told me on the phone.

As we exit [the] car she's like "I'm not going to get my purse!" but I reply, "Well, I don't know," and she just gets it. (It appears to me that women everywhere have this inkling inside them, so paying/not paying has this underlying thing to it.)

We exit and enter the mall [and I see] a smoking, leggy chick exiting on her own, seriously like pornstar legs. "Whoa," I think to myself. I have to seriously just wander around [this place humans call "the mall" in the] future. Then we enter the mall and she [says], "Oh, I used to work here," and [I reply], "I seriously cannot look at anything here," so I grab her [delicately by the] shoulders and just playfully lead her on.

Then [tell her], "I gotta go to the bathroom," and we look at [the] map, [but we] can't find [the] bathroom. Then she walks past some strangers and [says], "He's gotta use the bathroom," and I'm like, "What the fuck are you thinking?!" She then tells them, "No, [the] men's room."

I just walk on without acknowledging [her attempt at wit] and go up [to the] third floor. At [the] cafe they are giving out samples and I'm [say] "No, thanks," but she gets one and [says] "I'll get one for you."

Then we walk onward to the bathroom. As I exit, she waves at me as she's at a table on the phone so i sit, [and] across, in front, [and] on my right, there is [a] girl and guy sitting there. The girl looks Asian and is ridiculously smoking in a "proper girl" way, [while] some dude in [a] backwards cap [is] sitting across [from] her. There are people there just eating on their own. Some old guy in front of me glances at me at one point.

She's [still] on the phone so I eyeball her but look around at the cafe's [human patrons] too. After awhile I [tell her], "I'm getting a drink," and she [replies], "OK, go get one."

I continue, "And you too." [She replies] in a nanosecond: "Oh, yeah, OK." Then i get up. Forget it, I'll buy her the drink [regardless] as I walk to the Hotdog on a Stick to get the lemonade. Again, I am thinking, "YARGH! I am going forth like a magnet buying stuff. What the FUCK, I must be gay!" (Note to future self: do. not. get. anything. for. them.)

The best moment of the day happens here as two other girls are in line, cuties, [when] I get up to order mine. I hear them talking about "cocaine" so I half turn and say, "Oh, yeah, I got some 'cocaine,' if you want some."

I wink, narrowing my eyes as I nod, and they laugh [while] Cashier Girl also smiles.

Then I turn and they're surrounding me, still talking and looking at one another. (If I was on my own I would have definitely invited them to have a [lemonade] with me.)

So then I drink and say "You're on the phone?" and then she gets up [and] we walk off. She remarks [that on] my profile I look like Clark Kent.

She sees a mini sofa thing and says, "Let's sit there," [and] we sit. We speak about lots of stuff [and] she sort of cuddles [with] me, strangely. I just lean in to kiss and she slightly turns so it goes on her cheek and [the] ice from [my] drink spills between us so I quickly say, "That's for breaking the ice."

"Did you just make that up? That was cute," she replies.

The moment after this everything becomes less "pretend," [and] I just lay back with arms crossed thinking, "Yep, well now I can now [be] however I please. Ha ha."

I tell her [about] my car accident. She [tells] a more gruesome [story] which makes me feel better.

Then she says her favorite colors [are] black and white. I [say] "yellow" and explain why.

We also play the game, as we did in the car, of saying [a] word [that starts with] any letter of [a] city, state, capital, river. She [says], "Are we still playing games?" Then she suggests that she will make me food [and] asks me [to guess her] sign.

Sagittarius.

No.

What is it?

Yeah, it's half-Sag, actually. The other is Scorpio. The BFs i had were Sags [and] the ones I wanted were Scorps. Blah blah.

I ask, "What do you know about Scorpios?"

"They are the most sexual," she replies.

Okaaayyy.

She also asks me my age and is surprised, which is good since I can use this to my advantage.

Then we exit [and] she says, "Yeah, I'll make you food at my house."

I sort of walk on, thinking about it, but reply "OK."

The drive back was intended to be on the freeway but I completely skip it. So we end up driving on [side] streets to Hollywood. The music [loud] and she sings to some of it. At one point I can enter the 10 [freeway] but do not as I don't know it. Then she says, "Just stay on this lane," and I reply "Yep!" and she laughs as if i could do anything. I say, "To boldly go where no one has gone before" [about] the lengthy drive, [and] "I only know I don't know," to the exact directions.

We then drive up to her place. As we walk she takes my arm, and I raise my elbow, promenade style. [We get] to her apartment [and] she thanks me for driving her all the way there.

Then we enter her place...

...and I immediately go to her bathroom.

While there she has to go to a bank or something so we walk out. The bank has some trouble seeing her balance, so we exit and go to Ralph's where she gets Mentos and money from her card. Then she mentions a friend she's to meet and we go up a staircase and I [say], "To meet your friend?"

She replies, "No, watch."

So we enter some heightened floor that lowers a bit to her street, strangely.

I say, "I'm not sure what just happened, but OK." She laughs.

We enter her place again and she makes something while [she] tells [me] of her guitar [on] which I start to play something.

She lies down next to me, does "something else," [then] goes outside to let someone in the gate. Then "it's" done and I get the food. Her friend is to arrive because she has to go to some [homosexual] baking school thing, so she says "in 10 minutes." I just reply, "OK, and I'm out," so I walk out, still munching the sandwich. She [suggests] we just talk a lot without driving around. Then, [she] takes out her trash and I hug her and [enter] the car.

I get in [and I] see her on [the] street, talking on her cellphone.

I drive off.

Last edited by TimeandTide; 01-21-14 at 01:32 PM.
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Old 01-21-14, 01:14 PM
  #138  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by cungar View Post
Someone want to have a go at what this means. I'd like to learn how to raise my elbow promenade style.
No, you don't!
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Old 01-21-14, 01:16 PM
  #139  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Spoiler:
Originally Posted by TimeandTide View Post
Here:

I get out and walk over to the corner between [the] station and [the] car shop and [I] see her.

We hug.

"You're tall" are her first words. She's like five feet [tall].

We round the corner and [I see] her car. I just look at it while she calls [to] someone faraway about it. "Hmm," [I think].

Then we walk back to [the] car and I start to [drive onto the] 405. While on the drive i am sorta tense, mainly due to the fact that I have this [Asian MILF] sitting next to me, but i try to be fun, yet also "whatever." So I occasionally pause and am silent, even when she is, and I remain that way. It is a bit of an exercise to be so since...yapping nonstop is something I have been doing a lot [of].

She also nudges me on stuff. She mentions something about a video of Kanye and Kim on some bike and they're having sex and I [reply] "Hell, yeah, that's hot!" just to reaffirm that I'm not ignoring it or bs'ing.

I pass by UCLA but make the decision to just enter the later exit by default as [we're going] to Westside Pavilion. I am on Wilshire and lose my way yet again and she, through [the] window, asks some people in a car where to go. (What the…?)

We enter and I gladly get a ticket that says "Under three hours and it's free!" I [exhaled a] "phew" since she has to be back by four (or whatever), as she so plainly told me on the phone.

As we exit [the] car she's like "I'm not going to get my purse!" but I reply, "Well, I don't know," and she just gets it. (It appears to me that women everywhere have this inkling inside them, so paying/not paying has this underlying thing to it.)

We exit and enter the mall [and I see] a smoking, leggy chick exiting on her own, seriously like pornstar legs. "Whoa," I think to myself. I have to seriously just wander around [this place humans call "the mall" in the] future. Then we enter the mall and she [says], "Oh, I used to work here," and [I reply], "I seriously cannot look at anything here," so I grab her [delicately by the] shoulders and just playfully lead her on.

Then [tell her], "I gotta go to the bathroom," and we look at [the] map, [but we] can't find [the] bathroom. Then she walks past some strangers and [says], "He's gotta use the bathroom," and I'm like, "What the fuck are you thinking?!" She then tells them, "No, [the] men's room."

I just walk on without acknowledging [her attempt at wit] and go up [to the] third floor. At [the] cafe they are giving out samples and I'm [say] "No, thanks," but she gets one and [says] "I'll get one for you."

Then we walk onward to the bathroom. As I exit, she waves at me as she's at a table on the phone so i sit, [and] across, in front, [and] on my right, there is [a] girl and guy sitting there. The girl looks Asian and is ridiculously smoking in a "proper girl" way, [while] some dude in [a] backwards cap [is] sitting across [from] her. There are people there just eating on their own. Some old guy in front of me glances at me at one point.

She's [still] on the phone so I eyeball her but look around at the cafe's [human patrons] too. After awhile I [tell her], "I'm getting a drink," and she [replies], "OK, go get one."

I continue, "And you too." [She replies] in a nanosecond: "Oh, yeah, OK." Then i get up. Forget it, I'll buy her the drink [regardless] as I walk to the Hotdog on a Stick to get the lemonade. Again, I am thinking, "YARGH! I am going forth like a magnet buying stuff. What the FUCK, I must be gay!" (Note to future self: do. not. get. anything. for. them.)

The best moment of the day happens here as two other girls are in line, cuties, [when] I get up to order mine. I hear them talking about "cocaine" so I half turn and say, "Oh, yeah, I got some 'cocaine,' if you want some."

I wink, narrowing my eyes as I nod, and they laugh [while] Cashier Girl also smiles.

Then I turn and they're surrounding me, still talking and looking at one another. (If I was on my own I would have definitely invited them to have a [lemonade] with me.)

So then I drink and say "You're on the phone?" and then she gets up [and] we walk off. She remarks [that on] my profile I look like Clark Kent.

She sees a mini sofa thing and says, "Let's sit there," [and] we sit. We speak about lots of stuff [and] she sort of cuddles [with] me, strangely. I just lean in to kiss and she slightly turns so it goes on her cheek and [the] ice from [my] drink spills between us so I quickly say, "That's for breaking the ice."

"Did you just make that up? That was cute," she replies.

The moment after this everything becomes less "pretend," [and] I just lay back with arms crossed thinking "Yep, well now I can now [be] however I please. Ha ha."

I tell her [about] my car accident. She [tells] a more gruesome [story] which makes me feel better.

Then she says her favorite colors [are] black and white. I [say] "yellow" and explain why.

We also play the game, as we did in the car, of saying [a] word [that starts with] any letter of [a] city, state, capital, river. She [says], "Are we still playing games?" Then she suggests that she will make me food [and] asks me [to guess her] sign.

Sagittarius.

No.

What is it?

Yeah, it's half-Sag, actually. The other is Scorpio. The BFs i had were Sags [and] the ones I wanted were Scorps. Blah blah.

I ask, "What do you know about Scorpios?"

"They are most sexual," she replies.

Okkayyy.

She also asks me my age and is surprised, which is good since I can use this to my advantage.

Then we exit [and] she says, "Yeah, I'll make you food at my house."

I sort of walk on, thinking about it, but reply "OK."

The drive back was intended to be on the freeway but I completely skip it. So we end up driving on [side] streets to Hollywood. The music [loud] and she sings to some of it. At one point I can enter the 10 [freeway] but do not as I don't know it. Then she says, "Just stay on this lane," and I reply "Yep!" and she laughs as if i could do anything. I say, "To boldly go where no one has gone before" [about] the lengthy drive, [and] "I only know I don't know," to the exact directions.

We then drive up to her place. As we walk she takes my arm, and I raise my elbow, promenade style. [We get] to her apartment [and] she thanks me for driving her all the way there.

Then we enter her place...

...and I immediately go to her bathroom.

While there she has to go to a bank or something so we walk out. The bank has some trouble seeing her balance, so we exit and go to Ralph's where she gets Mentos and money from her card. Then she mentions a friend she's to meet and we go up a staircase and I [say] "To meet your friend?"

She replies, "No, watch." s

So we enter some heightened floor that lowers a bit to her street, strangely. I say, "I'm not sure what just happened, but OK." She laughs. We enter her place again and she makes something while [she] tells [me] of her guitar [on] which I start to play something.

She lies down next to me, does "something else," [then] goes outside to let someone in the gate. Then "it's" done and I get the food. Her friend is to arrive because she has to go to some [homosexual] baking school thing, so she says "in 10 minutes." I just reply, "OK, and I'm out," so I walk out, still munching the sandwich. She [suggests] we just talk a lot without driving around. Then, [she] takes out her trash and I hug her and [enter] the car.

I get in [and I] see her on [the] street, talking on her cellphone.

I drive off.



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Old 01-21-14, 01:33 PM
  #140  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Wow that took some work
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Old 01-21-14, 01:59 PM
  #141  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

I'm waiting for the text-to-speech GoAnimate movie
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Old 01-21-14, 02:33 PM
  #142  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Appreciate the effort, TimeandTide, but it's still bizarre... just more coherently bizarre
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Old 01-21-14, 02:51 PM
  #143  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

The drive:
We get in car as i exit mall and i think "damn i'm gonna go to her house for possibility of SOMETHING…" so she keeps talking about signs. i go "whats yours" she goes "aries" i go "yeah idk anything about that", "they're the most hardworking, and helpful, and blah blah" i want to say whats their bad points but don't. So then we just exit into the street and i could have kept going straight out under that bridge the way we came in yet for no reason i turn right, into streets i don't know because my brain is dealing with her now. Wwe're constantly driving on pico. At one point the 10 passes by she goes "you can take it if you want" so i turn sorta but don't. Then the songs come on from the 80s and she sings them a lot. I go "you know these?!" I am on the right lane btw and i see a sign that says "405 ahead" and think yes! Then we're still on there, the street is ongoing. at one point we stop because there's a car that has to park but i'm talking to her about stuff. So then realize "wtf is going here!??!?" and say "WHAT thhhheeee" and she laughs. then we pass it by. So i ask her what movies has she seen and she says "i've seen frozen hahah" and i go "that cartoon ?" then she laughs? At one point she fucking tickles me. Then i see the downtown buildings on the horizon and think shit. Then there's a cop car that is driving pretty close to me but just ahead on the left and she goes "wow imagine if you just drove straight into a cop car as an accident, how much fines you'd get". It would've been bad the drive but at least i was unknowingly still heading toward hollywood (i could have just been going west for all i fucking knew) just on streets. We enter La Brea and i say "we're in mid city!" because my pal lives here, she goes "we are in mid city" to reaffirm that i still knew my shit. At a stop she looks right and sees a pole dance studio, "wow check out that pole dancing" so i go "i'm not a very good pole dancer" and she goes "my friends are strippers so i've seen that stuff before", then uhhh she says "theres supposed to be a street blah so turn left on that" but it doesn't come up so its some other street and then we go left. Finally hollywood sign is seen. Then i go "i only saw star trek, the new superman, and thats it" I go "so you knew of the whiskey a go go " i guess, her: "yeah blah blah". Then i go "you know that sign is haunted," to her. We turn right on hollywood. We just enter her street and i park then we get out finally and walk on, she wraps her arm around mine so i simply raise my elbow like in those snooty english party movies and we walk.
Btw this is less detail because i just typed it up unlike the other one where i would not remember any of that had i did not do it the same night.
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Old 01-21-14, 02:59 PM
  #144  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

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Old 01-21-14, 03:01 PM
  #145  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

toooooolongandfuckedupdidn'tread
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Old 01-21-14, 03:04 PM
  #146  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

... and frankly she's a cross between smeagol and the photo chick.
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Old 01-21-14, 03:12 PM
  #147  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

What the hell is a "snooty english party movie"? Why have I not heard of this genre of films before? Someone please direct me to one so I may educate myself.
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Old 01-21-14, 04:21 PM
  #148  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

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Old 01-21-14, 05:07 PM
  #149  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Duff, what kind of retarded are you exactly?

Did she look something like this?
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Old 01-21-14, 05:13 PM
  #150  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

I need you, Deck. This is a bad one, the worst yet.
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