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Should i go out with this asian milf?

Old 01-18-14, 11:19 PM
  #101  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by duff beer View Post
Broad strokes:
-i kiss attempt but do it on cheek instead in mall.
-grabs my arm i raise it in promenade style to walk to her apt.
-reclines on sofa while i play guitar while she makes the fried chicken in tortilla wrap.
Seriously! WTF is happening here? Am I tripping balls or is Duff?

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Old 01-18-14, 11:20 PM
  #102  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by SkullOrchard View Post
My mom had three kids, all natural childbirths, and her vagina still looks and feels AMAZING!
Yes, yes it does. I mean, uh, that's what I've heard.
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Old 01-19-14, 12:31 AM
  #103  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by SkullOrchard View Post
My mom had three kids, all natural childbirths, and her vagina still looks and feels AMAZING!
^^Location: West Central Georgia (i.e., the South).
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Old 01-19-14, 10:33 AM
  #104  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by SkullOrchard View Post
My mom had three kids, all natural childbirths, and her vagina still looks and feels AMAZING!
That's the best post in this forum in years!!! Kudos to you my friend.
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Old 01-19-14, 11:07 AM
  #105  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by SkullOrchard View Post
My mom had three kids, all natural childbirths, and her vagina still looks and feels AMAZING!
Originally Posted by Hiro11 View Post
That's some next level shit right there.
Originally Posted by Abob Teff View Post
Yes, yes it does. I mean, uh, that's what I've heard.
Winning!!!!!

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Old 01-19-14, 01:48 PM
  #106  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by SkullOrchard View Post
My mom had three kids, all natural childbirths, and her vagina still looks and feels AMAZING!

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Old 01-19-14, 02:55 PM
  #107  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

be careful, asian broads cooters go horizontal. the upside is when you go down on them you can play them like a harmonica.
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Old 01-20-14, 12:57 PM
  #108  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

This thread is so messed up. What the hell is duff even talking about half of the time? Also, who does a write-up about their "date"?
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Old 01-20-14, 03:10 PM
  #109  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Here's the lowdown on the first date of 2014! This is merely a prologue to the rest of the epic year.

I drive and arrive finally. Get out and walk over to the corner between station and car shop and see her, hug, hug. "you're tall" are her first words, she's like 5 feet. We round the corner and witness her car, i just look at it while she calls someone faraway about it. I am a bit hmm, then we walk back to car and I start to go off, into 405. While there on the drive i am a bit sorta tense, mainly due to the fact that i have this woman sitting next to me but i try to be fun, yet also whatever. So i occasionally pause and am silent, even when she is, and i remain that way. It is a bit of an exercise to be so since yapping nonstop is something i have been doing a lot. She also nudges me on stuff. She mentions something about a video of Kanye and Kim on some bike and like they're having sex and i just go "hell yeah thats hot" just to reaffirm that i'm not ignoring it or bs'ing. I pass by ucla but make the decision to just enter the latter exit by default as we shall go to westside pavilion. I am on wilshire and lose my way yet again and she through window just asks some people in a car where to go. What the… We enter and i gladly get ticket it says under 3 hours it's free i go "phew" since she has to be back by 4 or whatever, as she so plainly told me on the phone. As we exit car she's like "i'm not going to get my purse!" but i go "well idk" and she just gets it. It appears to me that women everywhere have this inkling inside them so paying/not paying has the underlying thing to it -- that whole concept exists truly. We exit and enter the mall. As we enter mall there is this smoking leggy chick exiting on her own, seriously like pornstar legs -- whoa. I have to seriously just wander around future. Then we enter the mall she goes "oh i used to work here" and "i seriously cannot look at anything here" so i grab her shoulders and just playfully lead her on. Then i go "gotta go to the bathroom" and we look at map, can't find bathroom, then she walks past some strangers and goes "he's gotta use the bathroom" and i'm like what [email protected]#$^ thinking… she then tells them "no, men's room" i just walk on without acknowledging and go up third floor. At cafe they are giving out samples and i'm like no thanks but she gets one and is like "i'll get one for you". Then we walk onward to the bathroom. As i exit she waves at me as she's at a table on the phone so i sit…. Across in front on my right there is some girl and guy sitting there. The girl looks asian and is ridiculously smoking in a "proper girl" way. Some dude in backwards cap sitting across her. There are people literally there just eating on their own. Some old guy in front of me glances at me at one point. Anyway she's on the phone, so i eyeball her but look around at the cafes too. After a while i just go to say "i'm getting a drink" and she "ok go get one" then i continue "and you too" and her face goes in a nanosecond "oh yeah ok" then i get up. Forget it, i'll buy her the drink even though as i walk to the hotdog on a stick to get the lemonade -- again i am thinking "yarrgh i am going forth like a magnet buying stuff, wtf i must be gay". Note to future self: do. not. get. anything. for. them. The best moment of the day happens here as two other girls are in line, cuties, then i get up to order mine. I hear them talking about "cocaine" so i half turn and go "oh yeah i got some cocaine, if you want some *wink*" narrowing my eyes as i nod, and they laugh, cashier girl also smiles. Then i turn and they're surrounding me still talking and looking at one another. If i was on my own i would have definitely invited them to have a drink with me. So then i drink and go "youre on the phone?" and then she gets up. Then we walk off. She remarks my profile i look like Clark Kent. She sees a mini sofa thing and goes "let's sit there" we sit. We speak about lots of stuff, she sort of cuddles to me strangely? I just lean in to kiss and she slightly turns so it goes on her cheek and my ice from drink spills between us so i quickly go "that's for breaking the ice" and she goes "did you just make that up? that was cute". The moment after this everything becomes less pretend, my body movements, i just lay back with arms crossed thinking yep, well now i can now just however I please haha. I tell her my car accident. She says a more gruesome one which makes me feel better! Then she says her favorite color is black and white, i go yellow and explain why. We also play the game, as we did in the car of saying the word starting by any letter of the city, state, capital, river. She goes "are we still playing games?" Then she suggests that she will make me food. Then asks me my sign, i go "guess" "sagittarius", i go :-O….."no" she: "what is it" "yeah it's half sag actually, the other is scorpio. "The bfs i had were sag, the ones i wanted were scorps" blah blah. I go "What do you know about scorpio" "they are most sexual". Okkayyy. She also asks me my age and is surprised, which is good since i can use this to my advantage. Then we exit, she goes "yeah i'll make you food at my house" i sort of walk on thinking about it, but go "ok" and that's it.
The drive back was intended to be on freeway but i completely skip it. So we end up driving on streets to hollywood. The music is a lot and she sings to some of it. At one point i can enter 10 but just do not as i don't know it. Then she goes "just stay on this lane" and i go "yep" and she laughs as if i could do anything. I also go "to boldly go where no one has gone before" to the lengthy drive. I also go "i only know i don't know" to the exact directions.

We then drive up to her place. As we walk she takes my arm, and i raise my elbow promenade style. And go to her apartment, she thanks me for driving her all the way there. Then we enter her place, i immediately go to her bathroom. While there she has to go to a bank or something so we walk out. The bank there she has some trouble about seeing her balance. Then we exit and go to ralphs where she gets mentos and money from her card. Then she mentions a friend she's to meet and we go up a staircase and i go "to meet your friend?" she goes "no watch" so we enter some heightened floor that lowers a bit to her street strangely. I just go "i'm not sure what just happened but ok" she laughs. We enter her place again and she makes something while tells of her guitar to which i start to play something. She goes to lie down a bit next to me, then does something else, goes outside to let someone in at the gate, then it's done and i get the food. Her friend is to arrive cause she has to go to some fruity baking school thing, so she says in 10 minutes i just go "ok and i'm out" so i walk out still munching the sandwich. She mentions about just talking a lot without driving around. Then takes out her trash and i hug her and exit into the car. I get in i see her on street cellphone talking, then on the opposite corner as i look at her she's talking looking elsewhere so i drive off. On way back i consider going to mall on my own again lol but i somehow pass it by on the mixed up freeways and go off.
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Old 01-20-14, 03:17 PM
  #110  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Wait...what?
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Old 01-20-14, 03:22 PM
  #111  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

What...did...I...just...read?

Strangely I enjoyed it.
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Old 01-20-14, 03:25 PM
  #112  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Duff beer started out somewhat normal at the beginning of this thread. Then he came back from his date completely brain damaged. This Asian chick left him totally mind fucked. I'd advise against going on a second date, you may not be cut out for female interaction.

Last edited by GoldenJCJ; 01-20-14 at 03:36 PM.
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Old 01-20-14, 03:27 PM
  #113  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

One of two things...

Either you're an Andy Kaufman-esque performance art master who is just fucking with us and you're admittedly creative...

Or (and I pray that it's this) you're for real and you actually just wrote that and you are truly the real live person who wrote that not as a joke.

If it's the latter, then I am honoured to have experienced your existence. That someone like you is walking around in the world existing is fascinating to me.
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Old 01-20-14, 03:43 PM
  #114  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Yes what's the problem guys??? I know completely iimpdick -- seems to me she was taking me for a ride all along from the get go back during the 1st meet for hiking, she thought i was some naive guy but certainly did not understand my boldness and daring nature -- and frankly she's a cross between smeagol and the photo chick. Btw the drive from the westside pavilion to her apt was like an hour and in itself can be a story. The kiss was bombin' and i laid the cards right there.
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Old 01-20-14, 03:48 PM
  #115  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

These bimbos sound like they're perfect for each other.
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Old 01-20-14, 03:50 PM
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by duff beer View Post
Yes what's the problem guys??? I know completely iimpdick -- seems to me she was taking me for a ride all along from the get go back during the 1st meet for hiking, she thought i was some naive guy but certainly did not understand my boldness and daring nature -- and frankly she's a cross between smeagol and the photo chick. Btw the drive from the westside pavilion to her apt was like an hour and in itself can be a story. The kiss was bombin' and i laid the cards right there.
no suckie suckie, FAIL!!!

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Old 01-20-14, 03:52 PM
  #117  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Dude, save something for your newsletter. If you give us everything up front there will be no reason for us to subscribe.
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Old 01-20-14, 04:12 PM
  #118  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Am I the only one to picture Brian (Anthony Michael Hall) from Breakfast Club while reading that. Come back when you can make it more comprehensible, dude.
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Old 01-20-14, 05:06 PM
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

As the french say: incroyable monsieur!
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Old 01-20-14, 05:38 PM
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by The Black View Post
As the french say: incroyable monsieur!
French? That is French. That explains it.
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Old 01-20-14, 09:29 PM
  #121  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by devilshalo View Post
Am I the only one to picture Brian (Anthony Michael Hall) from Breakfast Club while reading that.
I'm picturing a different Brian. Peppers.
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Old 01-20-14, 11:21 PM
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

I'm pretty sure there were subliminal messages in that...


Can someone please translate it into English?
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Old 01-21-14, 12:02 AM
  #123  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

It appears that you hardly splashed out any cash for this date and yet she was nice enough to prepare you a sandwich to go. At this point, I'd say she's a keeper.
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Old 01-21-14, 05:13 AM
  #124  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

you got a free sandwich out of the deal(I think). Chalk it up as a victory and move on.
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Old 01-21-14, 06:55 AM
  #125  
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Re: Should i go out with this asian milf?

Originally Posted by Navinabob View Post
Dude, save something for your newsletter. If you give us everything up front there will be no reason for us to subscribe.
Wait... there's a newsletter too?!? I am intrigued!
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