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Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Old 12-02-13, 11:06 PM
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Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Right before we had our first kid, I picked up a book for my wife called Sh*t My Kids Ruined - a collection of submitted photos and stories of, well, what people's kids ruined. The book is pretty funny (based on a website) and I thought it may be interesting to have a thread here about the topic.

Stuff My Kid Ruined: Honestly, our toddler hasn't ruined anything, yet. But we've been potty training with stickers as a reward. The stickers haven't quite ended up "everywhere" (yet) but I do find them stuck to the bottom of my sock or in the laundry or even my shirt after being in public for hours. These are stickers of Elmo flushing a toilet, by the way. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Stuff I Ruined When I Was a Kid: When I was three or four, I rode my Dukes of Hazzard big wheel up and down the sidewalk on our block. At the end of our block was a church who got new cement poured in front of the building and I rode right over it, leaving tire marks. My father recalls that the next day, he and I were taking a walk and came across the pastor who was standing with the foreman, both looking at the sidewalk. My father asked what happened and they said they were trying to figure out what happened. In my brazen, child's "helpful" voice, I said, "I did that!" Everyone thought I was too funny so I got off with a "Don't do it again" type of scolding. Next time I pass through that town, I think I might get out of the car and see if those big wheel tire marks are still there, twenty years later.

What about you?

(Beyond DeputyDave's answer, of course!)

Last edited by story; 12-02-13 at 11:30 PM. Reason: Added practical wisdom.
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Old 12-02-13, 11:26 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

My wife's vagina and boobs
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Old 12-02-13, 11:29 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

I made a bet with myself before I started this thread and thanks to you, DeputyDave, I just won!

So beyond that, er, those?!
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Old 12-02-13, 11:34 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Always happy to help

When we moved the last time my son's room (16 at the time). I cannot fathom the amount of damage he did to that room without us knowing about it. Holes in the wall practically under every poster. Burned patches in the carpet. Markers used to write on the walls... wow.
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Old 12-03-13, 08:04 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

One of my kids put a tiny nick on my TV screen. It's small but visible, once you notice it, you can't see anything else.

I destroyed a custom Italian racing bicycle when I was 16 during a race. I tried to assemble it myself and did everything wrong. Pieces literally started falling off of it during a triathlon. I had paid for it myself and it was salvageable, but the race was over.

Last edited by Hiro11; 12-04-13 at 06:07 PM.
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Old 12-03-13, 08:28 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

When he was little, my son thought it would be cool to draw pictures with his crayons... on some of my record collection. Yeah, I was one of those guys that used Discwasher products. Was. Not. Happy.

When I was around 8-years old my dad gave me a pocket watch as a gift. I was curious how it worked so I took it apart. I discovered it wasn't as easy to put back together.
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Old 12-03-13, 08:51 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Originally Posted by DeputyDave View Post
My wife's vagina and boobs
Actually, I have to take some credit for that as well....
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Old 12-03-13, 09:31 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

My parents' chance of financial happiness and success.

Also, the patch of space on my dad's head, where hair used to grow.

But I like to think that it was worth it to them.
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Old 12-03-13, 10:19 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Too many things to remember at this point

My oldest daughter ruined our couch twice. Once she wrote all over it with a sharpie, and then a second couch ruined when she peed on it (she had a bed wetting problem for years and my wife didn't want to move her off the couch when she fell asleep there, we were afraid it would happen and it did)

When I was a kid I broke our 9 foot wide sliding glass door being a dumbass. That is about the most expensive thing I can remember (I am sure I broke other stuff, but that one I knew I was in deep shit)

When my older sister was learning to drive, she crashed the car into the side of the garage (yep, she missed pulling in and hit the wall at the opening) damaged the wall and the car. To this day, my sister is still not a good driver
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Old 12-03-13, 10:22 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

My life.
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Old 12-03-13, 11:19 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

As a teenager I crashed every car my parents had, about 6 or 7. Most were totaled.
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Old 12-03-13, 11:21 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

My parents expectations.
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Old 12-03-13, 11:25 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

When I was growing up there were these things called records that my Dad had. I played them over and over on this thing called a record player. Anyhow these things were made of plastic and they easily got scratched and then didn't play very good anymore. I wasn't very careful with them because I was young and I just wasn't really careful about things back then. To this day he still complains about the fact that I scratched up all his records. I actually still have them all in a box and about 5 years ago I took them all out and got the MP3 for each one of them and burned them to a couple of CD's for him so now he has them all in pristine quality. But he still complains every now and then.
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Old 12-03-13, 12:27 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Well, my desire to have a kid has disappeared.
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Old 12-03-13, 12:49 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

stuff our kid ruined: Sleep. Bank account. Ability to leave the house in less than 30 minutes. Being able to use the restroom in peace.
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Old 12-03-13, 01:03 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Originally Posted by superdeluxe View Post
stuff our kid ruined: Sleep. Bank account. Ability to leave the house in less than 30 minutes. Being able to use the restroom in peace.
That's the same stuff my wife ruined
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Old 12-03-13, 01:10 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Originally Posted by 4KRG View Post
When I was a kid I broke our 9 foot wide sliding glass door being a dumbass. That is about the most expensive thing I can remember (I am sure I broke other stuff, but that one I knew I was in deep shit)
I did something similar, breaking my grandfather's sliding glass door with a cue ball while playing "air hockey" on his pool table. I had forgotten all about it until now.

My kid is almost 3 and hasn't really "ruined" anything of note yet. It's just damn near impossible to keep the house clean since he empties his toy box multiple times a day and scatters stuff all over the first floor.
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Old 12-03-13, 03:34 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Thanks for this thread. So far, nothing to bad with our toddler, Definitely going to pick up this book for the wife as a christmas present.
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Old 12-03-13, 03:54 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Originally Posted by superdeluxe View Post
stuff our kid ruined: Sleep. Bank account. Ability to leave the house in less than 30 minutes. Being able to use the restroom in peace.
I hear totally hear ya.
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Old 12-03-13, 04:30 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Always makes me think of this window decal:

Spoiler:
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Old 12-04-13, 04:40 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

My little darlings use the couch as a trampoline. Buy cheap furniture until they move out.
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Old 12-04-13, 05:42 PM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Originally Posted by arminius View Post
As a teenager I crashed every car my parents had, about 6 or 7. Most were totaled.
What kind of parents would let you keep smashing their cars? Letting you do it the first time was a mistake. But to keep repeating it?
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Old 12-06-13, 02:55 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

my children have been minimally damaging. my dogs, however....

several walls. seriously patched about a total of 15 feet overall. the eat it. boggles my mind how they can eat a flat wall.

too many cords to appliances, usually radio or alarm clock

slowly devoured 1 arm chair followed by 1 1/2 couches. started with the pillows. then the cushions, then the legs. then seriously started to eat the wood parts of the frame. the 1/2 couch was because it was dyed leather--i guess it didnt taste very good and they stopped after only eating one arm. we still have that one.
--also ate 1 leg of our ottoman and chewed one area of our platform solid wood bed. fucking oak. THEY ATE FUCKING OAK!

about 20% of my childrens toys. anythign plastic, paper, books, markers, crayons, etc

several clothes. they love both my and my son's underwear. it makes me feel dirty like im doing some form of bestiality

down comforter (ate holes), towels, washclothes.

broke a window trying to eat the mailman. im sure he shit a brick.

and yes, they are exercised, well trained, and normally quite good dogs. they just dont like their bones or toys...
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Old 12-06-13, 10:56 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

You know you can get rid of the dogs.
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Old 12-06-13, 11:14 AM
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Re: Stuff Your Kids Ruined (or You Ruined as a Kid)

Originally Posted by Tom Creo View Post
You know you can get rid of the dogs.
kvrdave, please contact an admin about multiple accounts.
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