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best way to kick your friend out of your house?

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best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Old 08-31-12, 11:07 AM
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best way to kick your friend out of your house?

So, I have a buddy that's been living with me for the last 6 months.

We lived together for a number of years in the past until he moved in with his fiance like 2 years ago I think. About 6 months ago he asked me if he could stay with me for a while because he and his fiance were having a few problems. I said sure, no problem. I just assumed it would be for a few days...maybe a week or two tops. I mean everybody has little blow ups from time to time and gets kicked out right? I didn't think it was a big deal.

Well, it's been 6 months and he's still living with me. I can't bring myself to actually tell him what I think about his relationship with his fiance, but I'm 99.999% convinced it's over. He's completely delusional. He was never honest with me from the start. They weren't just having a few problems. She gave him back the engagement ring and the engagement has been off for a while. All this time he's been trying to reconcile, but it just ain't happening. She goes days and days without talking to him and basically the only time they see each other is every now and then he'll go over to "her place", which used to be "their place" and have sex, but she won't let him stay over. he even said himself, it's like he's having an affair. He keeps saying that she's just confused and she doesn't know what she wants, but like I said, he's delusional.

What gets me is that he had no plan whatsoever when he moved in with me. Honestly, I think his plan is to stay with me forever. I've dropped numerous hints about him leaving and he usually just tries to change the subject. Twice we've had some heated exchanges where I said he can't stay with me forever and he needs to get his own place. He claims that he can't afford his own place. That doesn't compute with me. He has a full time job but claims he can't afford a 1 bedroom apartment. Keep in mind that I've never asked him to pay me anything while he's been staying wtih me.

I know I'm being taking advantage of, so I don't need any of you to tell me that. I know it. He's my best friend. We've been best friends for the last like 14 years--since college. I'm just too old to have a roommate and want to go back to living alone. And frankly, he needs to get his life together and quit squating at my house. He's a 33 year old man with a college degree and a full time job yet he's living with his friend like he's 19. As much as I want to live alone again, I'm actually looking out for him too. What he's doing can't be healthy for his mindset. Every day he's living with me seems like a reminder that he's failing at life.

I'm at the end of my rope, but like I said, he's my best friend and I feel bad about it. I know he doesn't have any money, but I just can't fathom not being able to scrape together a couple hundred bucks a month to get an apartment. I suppose in his mind, why should he sign a 12 month apartment lease if his ultimate plan is to move back in with his fiance? But I say that there's no way that's going to happen and even if it does, why can't they just be together but live separately for a year until his lease is up?

So, any suggestions on how to tell your best friend to get the fuck out of your house?
Old 08-31-12, 11:12 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

use your foot
Old 08-31-12, 11:13 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Old 08-31-12, 11:17 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

I dont think there really is a nice way... I think you are going to have to give him a deadline. You could start asking for 1/2 rent and utilities until the deadline, but I wouldnt even bother with that.
Old 08-31-12, 11:18 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

if he's taking advantage of you then he's not really a good friend. tell him you need him out in 1 months time, at which point you'll be changing the locks. oh, hide your valuables.
Old 08-31-12, 11:21 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

I was in the same boat years ago. Instead of me being the bad guy, I called his mom and let her know what was up. An hour later she's tearing him a new one at my place. He moved out the next day and I still consider him a good friend.
Old 08-31-12, 11:23 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

You are over thinking it. If you want to live alone again, just tell him that.

If he gets mad, so be it. He'll either get over it, or he's not worth your time as a friend.
Old 08-31-12, 11:24 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Just lay it out to him straight. He either gets and and respects your position, or he doesn't. If not, you may lose the friendship, but it's probably worth it in the long run if he is that selfish.
Old 08-31-12, 11:28 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

take a shit on his bed... its a different way of approaching the situation and honestly not the best method, but it would make for a great thread on the Other!
Old 08-31-12, 11:32 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Since he is my best friend and I do care about him, am I crazy to consider just giving him some money to get started? I mean it's like I'm filthy rich or anything, but I'm comfortable and could easily afford to throw him a couple thousand bucks just to make things a little easier on him.

For all I know, he's got other things going on that I don't know about, but I don't feel right about just throwing him out on his ass if he really doesn't have the ability to find a place of his own.
Old 08-31-12, 11:40 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Originally Posted by inri222 View Post
This!

You could help him out and get his belongings ready to make it even easier for him!
Old 08-31-12, 11:42 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

If he still thinks he can get back into his girlfriend's house, he hasn't been looking for his own place.

Tell him that you think the problem is that he needs his own place. If he gets his own place, his ex will have more respect for him, and they can get back together.

It's bullshit, but it will get him out of your place.
Old 08-31-12, 11:43 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Originally Posted by whoopdido View Post
Since he is my best friend and I do care about him, am I crazy to consider just giving him some money to get started? I mean it's like I'm filthy rich or anything, but I'm comfortable and could easily afford to throw him a couple thousand bucks just to make things a little easier on him.

For all I know, he's got other things going on that I don't know about, but I don't feel right about just throwing him out on his ass if he really doesn't have the ability to find a place of his own.
If you can afford it, and if you accept that you may never see the money again... sure. I'd do the same if I could afford it.

As for kicking him out... just be upfront with him. Tell him he's gotta go and give him a deadline. If he gets pissed that sucks, but if he's really a good friend, he'll understand.
Old 08-31-12, 11:45 AM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

1) Repost this thread. Be even more descriptive about him.
2) We'll all reply, "Rape him in his sleep."
3) Leave thread open so he can see it.
Old 08-31-12, 12:02 PM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

The friendship is already over. He's clearly taking advantage of you, he knows he's taking advantage of you, and he knows you're letting him take advantage of you. Let's not hash out all the numerous mistakes you made (Not having a timeframe for his stay up front? Not telling him to leave after a week?) it's time to kick him out. Tell him he has one more night and then he needs to go somewhere else. Your free hotel is closed for business.

He probably has a key to your apartment, doesn't he?
Old 08-31-12, 12:14 PM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Deadline. Straight talk. Balls.
Old 08-31-12, 12:15 PM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Originally Posted by Goat3001 View Post
If you can afford it, and if you accept that you may never see the money again... sure. I'd do the same if I could afford it.

As for kicking him out... just be upfront with him. Tell him he's gotta go and give him a deadline. If he gets pissed that sucks, but if he's really a good friend, he'll understand.
I guess This
Old 08-31-12, 12:27 PM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Holy shit, I can't believe what I'm reading. A guy with a college degree and a full time job that hasn't paid jack shit in 6 months yet you're considering giving him a "couple THOUSAND" bucks? You're paying a squatter to leave the home that you alone are paying for?

Maybe I'm just confused and don't really understand what's going on?
Old 08-31-12, 12:28 PM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Originally Posted by Tracer Bullet View Post
The friendship is already over. He's clearly taking advantage of you, he knows he's taking advantage of you, and he knows you're letting him take advantage of you. Let's not hash out all the numerous mistakes you made (Not having a timeframe for his stay up front? Not telling him to leave after a week?) it's time to kick him out. Tell him he has one more night and then he needs to go somewhere else. Your free hotel is closed for business.

He probably has a key to your apartment, doesn't he?
This.

You may be giving him extra allowances because you value the friendship and don't want to treat him badly---his actions prove that he doesn't feel the same way.
Old 08-31-12, 12:29 PM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

I'm a little confused. You said he has a full-time job. Then you say he has no money. If he's not paying half the rent and utilities, where is his full-time paycheck going? Was he paying half at his ex-fiancee's place?

He doesn't necessarily need to get his own place. There's lots of people who rent out rooms in their homes.
Old 08-31-12, 12:30 PM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Come onto him.
Old 08-31-12, 12:34 PM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Originally Posted by Groucho View Post
Come onto him.
or you could try to hook up with his ex!
Old 08-31-12, 12:35 PM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Wow, you're a good friend.

Is this the only person you are close to? You can't be worried about upsetting him. Just announce he has to be out at the end of the month. Do it like ripping off a band-aid.

Also the idea of calling his mother is a good one.
Old 08-31-12, 12:37 PM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Is he still paying for part of his ex's place? Maybe that is where his funds are going cuz of a lease or why she puts out every-so-often.
Old 08-31-12, 12:42 PM
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Re: best way to kick your friend out of your house?

Originally Posted by Crocker Jarmen View Post
Wow, you're a good friend.

Is this the only person you are close to? You can't be worried about upsetting him. Just announce he has to be out at the end of the month. Do it like ripping off a band-aid.

Also the idea of calling his mother is a good one.
Maybe the OP's friend could move in with you? What's one more person in that house?

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