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Law advice needed (child college payment)

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Law advice needed (child college payment)

Old 08-11-12, 09:57 AM
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Law advice needed (child college payment)

Today my wife got in the mail a letter that her ex husband is taking her to court to help pay their sons college tuition for about 8k a yr. he just turned 18 this month. She told him that she doesn't have the money, which she doesn't, and I due to medical reasons I don't work and I'm currently trying to get disability. So I don't have money either. After bills there is no way she could even attempt to pay his tuition. Her divorce papers do say they will both pay his college expenses (but the papers don't say how much or anything like that). But like I said there is no way she can pay it. What can we expect from this? Can she talk to a lawyer for free? If she gets a lawyer will he have to pay her expenses if he loses. Also the date is on a work day and she doesn't want to miss work. What happens if she just blows the court date off? Any advice on what to do?
Old 08-11-12, 10:06 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

1) Divorce papers say both parties will pay college tuition

2) She doesn't want to miss work for court date

---

Those two things just don't sound good.

1) If the divorce papers say both parties will pay for college...then that's what it means. It doesn't have to state an amount, and if she was paying attention, she should have had a cap on it but probably just wanted to agree to her child's future. In any case, her kid could have easily been admitted to an Ivy League college or private college for $50,000+ a year. $8K is actually cheap.

2) You better get your wife's ass to court or the judge will automatically side with whoever is left standing. Meaning, her ex-husband. The judge won't be kind to people who say they don't want to miss work in lieu of responsibility for their kids.

Your wife will need to explain her financial situation, and will probably need to get an attorney. She'll probably need to pay something, in proportion to what's she's making now and forever, into eternity. She needs to be honest. But she will need financial records eventually--probably not for this court date and if so she can get a continuance I would imagine.

I'd go over the divorce papers with a fine-toothed comb and see just what exactly is meant by "paying college tuition". Now, that said, there is some specificity here. College tuition. So, she needs to find out where her kid is going to college, and what the TRUE COLLEGE TUITION costs are. The ex might be fucking around and billing her for expenses that are not even related. So, this is why she will need an attorney to get this straightened out and make sure this is just tuition she is paying. She should NOT pay the ex anything. Any money needs to be paid through his attorney or the court, because you need a really good record of payment in these kinds of situations.

Last edited by DVD Polizei; 08-11-12 at 10:14 AM.
Old 08-11-12, 10:06 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Get a lawyer, divorce your wife.
Old 08-11-12, 10:11 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

They didn't talk to your wife at all before? I would expect that her ex and her son inform her of the college plans and then discuss the financial options.
Old 08-11-12, 10:15 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by DirkUSA View Post
They didn't talk to your wife at all before? I would expect that her ex and her son inform her of the college plans and then discuss the financial options.
They talked. She said she could only help out a little like $100 a month but he wont accept that. Also it should be noted that we don't live frivously our only bill that isn't important is Comcast $60 a month. Everything else is mortgage, car payment, food, medical, ect.
Old 08-11-12, 10:16 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Why doesn't the son pay for his own college? He can defer the payments until 6 months after he graduates. Tell him to take out loans...and apply for financial aid if it is going to cause financial stress for you and your wife. If he is a good kid he will understand.
Old 08-11-12, 10:20 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by chino77 View Post
They talked. She said she could only help out a little like $100 a month but he wont accept that. Also it should be noted that we don't live frivously our only bill that isn't important is Comcast $60 a month. Everything else is mortgage, car payment, food, medical, ect.
How is the relationship between your wife and her son?
Old 08-11-12, 10:25 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by d2cheer View Post
Why doesn't the son pay for his own college? He can defer the payments until 6 months after he graduates. Tell him to take out loans...and apply for financial aid if it is going to cause financial stress for you and your wife. If he is a good kid he will understand.
The dad doesn't want him getting loans and into debt. Could he just go get the loans himself? Or go to court and say he doesn't want his mom to pay? He also already has financial aid.

Originally Posted by DirkUSA View Post
How is the relationship between your wife and her son?
Their relationship is very good. But he doesn't seem to want to get involved in anything like this.
Old 08-11-12, 10:29 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by chino77 View Post
The dad doesn't want him getting loans and into debt. Could he just go get the loans himself? Or go to court and say he doesn't want his mom to pay?



Their relationship is very good. But he doesn't seem to want to get involved in anything like this.
Sorry but he should never let this happen. If he loves her he should understand that she can't pay much and stop this mess.
Old 08-11-12, 10:32 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Yes the son can take out loans to pay for his own college. BFD on the dad not wanting him getting into debt. The financial situation as it is doesn't allow for mom to pay. The son should man-up and take responsibility for his own college if your wife can't pay. She will probably have to get the divorce decree amemded to have her taken out of the financial responsibility of having to pay for his college. I sure it would help if he agrees he does not want his moms help.
Old 08-11-12, 10:42 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by d2cheer View Post
Yes the son can take out loans to pay for his own college. BFD on the dad not wanting him getting into debt. The financial situation as it is doesn't allow for mom to pay. The son should man-up and take responsibility for his own college if your wife can't pay. She will probably have to get the divorce decree amemded to have her taken out of the financial responsibility of having to pay for his college. I sure it would help if he agrees he does not want his moms help.
An 18 year old with no credit history isn't going to get the loans to pay for college without a parent cosigning.

And given that classes will be starting in two or three weeks, it might not even be possible to get a loan in time.
Old 08-11-12, 10:53 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

So what happens if she can't pay. I assume they will garnish her wages?
Old 08-11-12, 11:13 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by chino77 View Post
So what happens if she can't pay. I assume they will garnish her wages?
You realize certain laws don't apply to everyone in the country that can offer their advice. You need someone who specifically deals with divorce/family law and practices in Illinois.

Look around and see if you can find one through free legal aid with the county. Most regular working people don't have money for lawyers but they find a way to make it work. With you being disabled it should be easier, but your wife actually working can make a difference. A lot of jobs offer free legal counsel as a benefit. You might want to start there.
Old 08-11-12, 11:13 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Does she have any say in what school he goes to?
Old 08-11-12, 11:25 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Tell her to disown her son.

Problem solved.
Old 08-11-12, 11:27 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by chino77 View Post
Does she have any say in what school he goes to?
If she's paying for it I would imagine so. Then again, it's probably hard to find a school where her half would cost much less than 8k per year these days.
Old 08-11-12, 11:29 AM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

I have a question...who did the son live with up till college? Was child support paid and which parent received it?
Old 08-11-12, 12:10 PM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by broadwayblue View Post
If she's paying for it I would imagine so. Then again, it's probably hard to find a school where her half would cost much less than 8k per year these days.
He would have to go to a jr college

Originally Posted by foxdvd View Post
I have a question...who did the son live with up till college? Was child support paid and which parent received it?
He lived with her until soph yr in high school. Then he moved to his dads so he could be in a better school district. Child support was rarely paid by the dad. She didn't pay any child support while he was living at his dads and he never asked her to. She did pay for his school and multiple other things though.
Old 08-11-12, 12:39 PM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by chino77 View Post
He would have to go to a jr college



He lived with her until soph yr in high school. Then he moved to his dads so he could be in a better school district. Child support was rarely paid by the dad. She didn't pay any child support while he was living at his dads and he never asked her to. She did pay for his school and multiple other things though.
This is good. This is important. This means that essentially, in statement of fact and not necessarily on paper, your agreement was dissolved.
Old 08-11-12, 12:55 PM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by Superboy View Post
This is good. This is important. This means that essentially, in statement of fact and not necessarily on paper, your agreement was dissolved.
She also noticed on her paper work that he was supposed to have been paying for eyeglasses and medical bills which he never has. She preferred to be independent from him for the most part so unless she absolutely needed his child support or help she would do everything she could on her own. Not to mention it was like pulling teeth to get money from him anyways so she just said fuck it and took care of her kids on her own.
Old 08-11-12, 01:12 PM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

What a clusterfuck.
Old 08-11-12, 01:18 PM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by Superboy View Post
What a clusterfuck.
That pretty much sums it up.
Old 08-11-12, 01:21 PM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Why can't the kid apply for Grants and etc? Is he white, hispanic, black, etc? Get Stanford loans of the subsidized type where there's no interest, look into this though cuz I read something was chaning w/ the Stanford loans, I'm from the previous generation of the loan so I only know whatever I had to know about my gen. Also...get that kid to work. He needs to be a man and a responsible adult. Plus...it actually makes you a better person if you take control of your own shit w/ college. Gotta know what you're risking to further along. Sure made me man up quick when I had to do it.
Old 08-11-12, 01:26 PM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC View Post
Why can't the kid apply for Grants and etc? Is he white, hispanic, black, etc? Get Stanford loans of the subsidized type where there's no interest, look into this though cuz I read something was chaning w/ the Stanford loans, I'm from the previous generation of the loan so I only know whatever I had to know about my gen. Also...get that kid to work. He needs to be a man and a responsible adult. Plus...it actually makes you a better person if you take control of your own shit w/ college. Gotta know what you're risking to further along. Sure made me man up quick when I had to do it.
He's Hispanic and his dad doesn't want him in debt when he gets out of college. He told him he shouldn't even work. That college is for fun. The guy is an idiot.
Old 08-11-12, 01:27 PM
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Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC View Post
Get Stanford loans of the subsidized type where there's no interest, look into this though cuz I read something was chaning w/ the Stanford loans, I'm from the previous generation of the loan so I only know whatever I had to know about my gen.
Are they changing it from Stafford to Stanford?

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