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chino77 08-11-12 08:57 AM

Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
Today my wife got in the mail a letter that her ex husband is taking her to court to help pay their sons college tuition for about 8k a yr. he just turned 18 this month. She told him that she doesn't have the money, which she doesn't, and I due to medical reasons I don't work and I'm currently trying to get disability. So I don't have money either. After bills there is no way she could even attempt to pay his tuition. Her divorce papers do say they will both pay his college expenses (but the papers don't say how much or anything like that). But like I said there is no way she can pay it. What can we expect from this? Can she talk to a lawyer for free? If she gets a lawyer will he have to pay her expenses if he loses. Also the date is on a work day and she doesn't want to miss work. What happens if she just blows the court date off? Any advice on what to do?

DVD Polizei 08-11-12 09:06 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
1) Divorce papers say both parties will pay college tuition

2) She doesn't want to miss work for court date

---

Those two things just don't sound good.

1) If the divorce papers say both parties will pay for college...then that's what it means. It doesn't have to state an amount, and if she was paying attention, she should have had a cap on it but probably just wanted to agree to her child's future. In any case, her kid could have easily been admitted to an Ivy League college or private college for $50,000+ a year. $8K is actually cheap.

2) You better get your wife's ass to court or the judge will automatically side with whoever is left standing. Meaning, her ex-husband. The judge won't be kind to people who say they don't want to miss work in lieu of responsibility for their kids.

Your wife will need to explain her financial situation, and will probably need to get an attorney. She'll probably need to pay something, in proportion to what's she's making now and forever, into eternity. She needs to be honest. But she will need financial records eventually--probably not for this court date and if so she can get a continuance I would imagine.

I'd go over the divorce papers with a fine-toothed comb and see just what exactly is meant by "paying college tuition". Now, that said, there is some specificity here. College tuition. So, she needs to find out where her kid is going to college, and what the TRUE COLLEGE TUITION costs are. The ex might be fucking around and billing her for expenses that are not even related. So, this is why she will need an attorney to get this straightened out and make sure this is just tuition she is paying. She should NOT pay the ex anything. Any money needs to be paid through his attorney or the court, because you need a really good record of payment in these kinds of situations.

Sean O'Hara 08-11-12 09:06 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
Get a lawyer, divorce your wife.

DirkUSA 08-11-12 09:11 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
They didn't talk to your wife at all before? I would expect that her ex and her son inform her of the college plans and then discuss the financial options.

chino77 08-11-12 09:15 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by DirkUSA (Post 11342872)
They didn't talk to your wife at all before? I would expect that her ex and her son inform her of the college plans and then discuss the financial options.

They talked. She said she could only help out a little like $100 a month but he wont accept that. Also it should be noted that we don't live frivously our only bill that isn't important is Comcast $60 a month. Everything else is mortgage, car payment, food, medical, ect.

d2cheer 08-11-12 09:16 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
Why doesn't the son pay for his own college? He can defer the payments until 6 months after he graduates. Tell him to take out loans...and apply for financial aid if it is going to cause financial stress for you and your wife. If he is a good kid he will understand.

DirkUSA 08-11-12 09:20 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by chino77 (Post 11342875)
They talked. She said she could only help out a little like $100 a month but he wont accept that. Also it should be noted that we don't live frivously our only bill that isn't important is Comcast $60 a month. Everything else is mortgage, car payment, food, medical, ect.

How is the relationship between your wife and her son?

chino77 08-11-12 09:25 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by d2cheer (Post 11342876)
Why doesn't the son pay for his own college? He can defer the payments until 6 months after he graduates. Tell him to take out loans...and apply for financial aid if it is going to cause financial stress for you and your wife. If he is a good kid he will understand.

The dad doesn't want him getting loans and into debt. Could he just go get the loans himself? Or go to court and say he doesn't want his mom to pay? He also already has financial aid.


Originally Posted by DirkUSA (Post 11342880)
How is the relationship between your wife and her son?

Their relationship is very good. But he doesn't seem to want to get involved in anything like this.

DirkUSA 08-11-12 09:29 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by chino77 (Post 11342882)
The dad doesn't want him getting loans and into debt. Could he just go get the loans himself? Or go to court and say he doesn't want his mom to pay?



Their relationship is very good. But he doesn't seem to want to get involved in anything like this.

Sorry but he should never let this happen. If he loves her he should understand that she can't pay much and stop this mess.

d2cheer 08-11-12 09:32 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
Yes the son can take out loans to pay for his own college. BFD on the dad not wanting him getting into debt. The financial situation as it is doesn't allow for mom to pay. The son should man-up and take responsibility for his own college if your wife can't pay. She will probably have to get the divorce decree amemded to have her taken out of the financial responsibility of having to pay for his college. I sure it would help if he agrees he does not want his moms help.

Sean O'Hara 08-11-12 09:42 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by d2cheer (Post 11342886)
Yes the son can take out loans to pay for his own college. BFD on the dad not wanting him getting into debt. The financial situation as it is doesn't allow for mom to pay. The son should man-up and take responsibility for his own college if your wife can't pay. She will probably have to get the divorce decree amemded to have her taken out of the financial responsibility of having to pay for his college. I sure it would help if he agrees he does not want his moms help.

An 18 year old with no credit history isn't going to get the loans to pay for college without a parent cosigning.

And given that classes will be starting in two or three weeks, it might not even be possible to get a loan in time.

chino77 08-11-12 09:53 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
So what happens if she can't pay. I assume they will garnish her wages?

My Other Self 08-11-12 10:13 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by chino77 (Post 11342906)
So what happens if she can't pay. I assume they will garnish her wages?

You realize certain laws don't apply to everyone in the country that can offer their advice. You need someone who specifically deals with divorce/family law and practices in Illinois.

Look around and see if you can find one through free legal aid with the county. Most regular working people don't have money for lawyers but they find a way to make it work. With you being disabled it should be easier, but your wife actually working can make a difference. A lot of jobs offer free legal counsel as a benefit. You might want to start there.

chino77 08-11-12 10:13 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
Does she have any say in what school he goes to?

Superboy 08-11-12 10:25 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
Tell her to disown her son.

Problem solved.

broadwayblue 08-11-12 10:27 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by chino77 (Post 11342923)
Does she have any say in what school he goes to?

If she's paying for it I would imagine so. Then again, it's probably hard to find a school where her half would cost much less than 8k per year these days.

foxdvd 08-11-12 10:29 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
I have a question...who did the son live with up till college? Was child support paid and which parent received it?

chino77 08-11-12 11:10 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by broadwayblue (Post 11342940)
If she's paying for it I would imagine so. Then again, it's probably hard to find a school where her half would cost much less than 8k per year these days.

He would have to go to a jr college


Originally Posted by foxdvd (Post 11342941)
I have a question...who did the son live with up till college? Was child support paid and which parent received it?

He lived with her until soph yr in high school. Then he moved to his dads so he could be in a better school district. Child support was rarely paid by the dad. She didn't pay any child support while he was living at his dads and he never asked her to. She did pay for his school and multiple other things though.

Superboy 08-11-12 11:39 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by chino77 (Post 11342981)
He would have to go to a jr college



He lived with her until soph yr in high school. Then he moved to his dads so he could be in a better school district. Child support was rarely paid by the dad. She didn't pay any child support while he was living at his dads and he never asked her to. She did pay for his school and multiple other things though.

This is good. This is important. This means that essentially, in statement of fact and not necessarily on paper, your agreement was dissolved.

chino77 08-11-12 11:55 AM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by Superboy (Post 11343012)
This is good. This is important. This means that essentially, in statement of fact and not necessarily on paper, your agreement was dissolved.

She also noticed on her paper work that he was supposed to have been paying for eyeglasses and medical bills which he never has. She preferred to be independent from him for the most part so unless she absolutely needed his child support or help she would do everything she could on her own. Not to mention it was like pulling teeth to get money from him anyways so she just said fuck it and took care of her kids on her own.

Superboy 08-11-12 12:12 PM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
What a clusterfuck.

DirkUSA 08-11-12 12:18 PM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by Superboy (Post 11343042)
What a clusterfuck.

That pretty much sums it up.

Solid Snake 08-11-12 12:21 PM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 
Why can't the kid apply for Grants and etc? Is he white, hispanic, black, etc? Get Stanford loans of the subsidized type where there's no interest, look into this though cuz I read something was chaning w/ the Stanford loans, I'm from the previous generation of the loan so I only know whatever I had to know about my gen. Also...get that kid to work. He needs to be a man and a responsible adult. Plus...it actually makes you a better person if you take control of your own shit w/ college. Gotta know what you're risking to further along. Sure made me man up quick when I had to do it.

chino77 08-11-12 12:26 PM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC (Post 11343057)
Why can't the kid apply for Grants and etc? Is he white, hispanic, black, etc? Get Stanford loans of the subsidized type where there's no interest, look into this though cuz I read something was chaning w/ the Stanford loans, I'm from the previous generation of the loan so I only know whatever I had to know about my gen. Also...get that kid to work. He needs to be a man and a responsible adult. Plus...it actually makes you a better person if you take control of your own shit w/ college. Gotta know what you're risking to further along. Sure made me man up quick when I had to do it.

He's Hispanic and his dad doesn't want him in debt when he gets out of college. He told him he shouldn't even work. That college is for fun. The guy is an idiot.

printerati 08-11-12 12:27 PM

Re: Law advice needed (child college payment)
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC (Post 11343057)
Get Stanford loans of the subsidized type where there's no interest, look into this though cuz I read something was chaning w/ the Stanford loans, I'm from the previous generation of the loan so I only know whatever I had to know about my gen.

Are they changing it from Stafford to Stanford?


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