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Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

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Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Old 05-14-12, 07:12 PM
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Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Just like the topic says. I can grow a goatee, but the hair on my cheeks is pretty sporadic til it hits my hairline. Right now I'm rocking a porn stache with a goatee and a soul patch, but I'd like to be able to really grow it all out. Any advice Otter?
Old 05-14-12, 07:15 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

I couldn't grow a good beard if I was chained to a dungeon wall. I think some men have the genes, some don't.
Old 05-14-12, 07:36 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Try rubbing Chia Pet seeds all over your face. If that doesn't work and you grow a plant beard instead, please, please, please let me grow some tomatoes on your garden beard.
Old 05-14-12, 07:38 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Feed her a lot.
Old 05-14-12, 07:40 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

I highly suggest 1000w HPS+MH Cool Tube Reflector Digital Ballast Grow Lighting, but LED has become quite popular in recent

Wait, what....?
Old 05-14-12, 07:42 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

All you need is a good slap apparently...

Old 05-14-12, 07:42 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Originally Posted by X View Post
Feed her a lot.
I don't mean to derail the serious responses this thread has gotten and will get but holy shit, X! You joined DVDTalk in 1987? That's probably before Geoff K. joined.
Old 05-14-12, 07:46 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Do you have a beard trimmer? You might be able to trim it to a certain length and over the course of time have your beard "fill-in."

If your hair is patchy then there is probably not a lot that you can do.
Old 05-14-12, 07:46 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

The join date directly correlates when ASS+++ coding was pushed into the production environment.....
Old 05-14-12, 07:48 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Originally Posted by Jules Winfield View Post
I don't mean to derail the serious responses this thread has gotten and will get but holy shit, X! You joined DVDTalk in 1987? That's probably before Geoff K. joined.
I don't think DVDs were even invented in 1987 let alone the consumer use of the internet.
Old 05-14-12, 07:59 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Originally Posted by Minor Threat View Post
The join date directly correlates when ASS+++ coding was pushed into the production environment.....
I didn't even bother looking under the join date. Just saw the join date and it threw me off. I assumed it was when X lost his virginity or something. I don't even know how old X is. He could be 13 for all I know.
Old 05-14-12, 08:06 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Focus. Really really hard.

Mine was thicker before I got fat [again]. I think that it has something to do with surface area on your face (like the distance between pores or something).
Old 05-14-12, 08:23 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Shave more.
Old 05-14-12, 08:32 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Old 05-14-12, 08:46 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Eat lots of ice cream and thick soups and let it get caught in your beard. Try to eat ice creams and soups that are already the same color of your hair.
Old 05-14-12, 08:50 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Originally Posted by schizopak View Post
I don't think DVDs were even invented in 1987 let alone the consumer use of the internet.
You mean you didn't have the DVD add-on for your NES? All the cool kids had it. It was more bad than the Power Glove.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pivGBEIlIpU?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Old 05-14-12, 10:17 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Use a merkin on your face.
Old 05-14-12, 10:24 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

just concentrate REAL hard.

warning, weird sound at the end.

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Old 05-14-12, 11:25 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

You're probably lacking some minerals and essential fatty acids. Try a multi-vitamin and some omega3 fatty acid. Also, scrub your skin and brush your beard daily to stimulate the hair. I'm currently trying to grow out my hair (on my head) and this is what the ND has me doing. Good luck
Old 05-14-12, 11:27 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Lots of masturbating. No wait...that's for hairy palms.

How about using Minoxidil on your face? Some people reported varying degrees of success
Old 05-14-12, 11:31 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

I can tell you that Minoxidil does work, but other areas too will grow hair so becareful.

Shave your balls, get some Elmer's glue and put a thin layer on the areas you want to thicken.

I can post pictures in great detail if you like. I've done it before.

Spoiler:
so fucking kidding
Old 05-14-12, 11:48 PM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

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Old 05-15-12, 12:09 AM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Originally Posted by NORML54601 View Post
Just like the topic says. I can grow a goatee, but the hair on my cheeks is pretty sporadic til it hits my hairline. Right now I'm rocking a porn stache with a goatee and a soul patch, but I'd like to be able to really grow it all out. Any advice Otter?
Actually, try trimming it (or whatever you got) every 3-4 days, but not completely.
Old 05-15-12, 12:34 AM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

It's not going to happen. Either you have hair on your cheeks, or you don't.
Old 05-15-12, 08:42 AM
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Re: Any tips for growing a thicker beard?

Let it grow for a couple of weeks and then just use black spray paint.

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