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Can We Borrow Your Cat? Again?

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Can We Borrow Your Cat? Again?

Old 03-29-12, 09:09 AM
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Can We Borrow Your Cat? Again?

So I wanted to get the opinion of Otter (always dangerous, I know) regarding this little car issue I have with my in-laws.

My second car, the older 2003 Kia Spectra runs like crap for the most part, and we are kind of just waiting for the inevitable day when it just conks out or has this repair that isn't worth fixing.

The in-laws have a 2004 Honda CR-V that hasn't ran in I'd say six months. Since they only have one other car, guess who they come to when they need to use a second car?

Now, hold on...

Before you say "Hey, those are your in-law's, be cool about loaning it out" listen to the rest of the story.

They won't fix their CR-V. They haven't had a professional look at it, nor have they taken it to the dealer because "it'd cost too much to have it towed". Instead they have friends come over and speculate on what the problem is. They have no idea how much it'll cost to fix, and just assume that it will be thousands of dollars.

In case anyone is wondering, it just won't start. It's not the battery, it has gas, etc. So i don't know.

He also has the wrong sized tires on the car, and won't buy new ones because they "cost too much to worry about".

So they ask us at least three to four times a week to borrow our car. 99% of the time, they gas it up (only my father-in-law is lazy sometimes and doesn't) so that's not the problerm. The problem is wear and tear on a car that is already on it's last legs.

So when the Kia craps out, what are they going to do? Probably start asking my brother-in-law to use his truck (they have already started to in fact).

So a typical week is the mother-in-law borrowing the car after work, so she takes it home. She uses it a few days, probably puts a couple hundred miles on it, and then returns it. But when she drops it off, she needs a ride back home, so that's another 25 miles round trip. My wife uses it for work enough already, driving at least 150-200 miles a week round trip.

The thing is fast approaching 200k miles, and it needs a new tranny, and it occaisonally leaks fluids.

Now another question is you might be asking "If you have money, help them with their car".

I've thought about that, but they have money as well. The father-in-law just spends it on stupid things like Blu-Ray's just because there is a sale, video games (when he has like 50 games he hasn't finished), stuff on eBay, ridiculous business ventures that lose money, guitars, cat food for the neighborhood strays he says will die if he doesn't feed them, etc.

So yeah.... should I just pony up the cash and help them out or should I just deal with it? My wife says it's not a problem, but I think she just says that because it's her parents.

Thoughts?
Old 03-29-12, 09:20 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

This is the father-in-law who arranged that butt raping you got at the dealership, right? Tell him to grow legs and go away.
Old 03-29-12, 09:20 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Simple three step solution:

1- Trade them the Kia for the CR-V.
2- Take CR-V to local mechanic that also sells used cars and have them look it over.
3a- Pay for repair (my money is on a new distributor (<$200 repair) and you now have a running, reliable Honda
3b- or trade in CR-V for cash and buy yourself a replacement for the Kia.

Of course, with this solution, you end up loaning the CR-V back to your in-laws within a few years when that car craps out for good.
Old 03-29-12, 09:27 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

I would need to know more about their finances other than "buys dvds and video games"

but that isn't really relevant anyway, they should fix their CRV or at the very least get an estimate. Sign up for AAA, wait 30 days (or whatever their towing grace period is) and then use it

You should install a kill switch in the kia and show them that it now won't start and since they have been the primary users you would like them to pay to have it fixed. That should chase them away.

Helping family is one thing, enabling moochers and lazy asses at my expense is another
Old 03-29-12, 09:39 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Is it really the towing or the fear of what it might cost to get it fixed?

Do they have a cellphone plan? Most cellphone contract plans have an optional roadside assistance option for $3/month. Don't know if the pay-as-you-go plans have it. Maybe have them look into that.

If you're sure the battery is good, is there a sound when you try to start the engine? If not, it's probably the starter. Replacing the starter won't cost thousands. More like hundreds.
Old 03-29-12, 09:44 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

So the Kia is available because your wife doesn't work every day or is it a completely spare vehicle. If you really don't need it, I would sell it for $500 to anyone, maybe they will want to buy it, maybe not, but either case, you are down to the one vehicle that you need so they should go elsewhere.
Old 03-29-12, 09:45 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Do something easily reversible to your car that will cause it to "break down" a few miles after starting.
Old 03-29-12, 09:52 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

As these are in-laws, what is your wife's opinion on this matter. I'd say hers is the opinion that counts for the most...by far.
Old 03-29-12, 09:58 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

They can add roadside assistance & rental coverage to their insurance plan for less than the cost of a single blu-ray. That would get the vehicle towed and possibly* even cover a rental while they wait on repairs.


*possibly because rental coverage may only come into play if there are repairs related to an accident.



Another option - Is there a local high school with a vo-tech program that could look at it and repair it for just the cost of parts?
Old 03-29-12, 09:59 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Sounds like a nightmare being that close to your in-laws that they borrow cars on a regular basis.

I don't know if I'd "help them out" and offer to get their car towed or what but you certainly need to put a stop to the every week "borrowing" thing. What's going to happen when the Kia breaks down on the side of the road? Are they not going to spend the money to tow it? Are they not going to offer any money on the repair? What about oil changes, are they getting them done?
Old 03-29-12, 10:16 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Originally Posted by milwaukee_mike View Post
Simple three step solution:

1- Trade them the Kia for the CR-V.
2- Take CR-V to local mechanic that also sells used cars and have them look it over.
3a- Pay for repair (my money is on a new distributor (<$200 repair) and you now have a running, reliable Honda
3b- or trade in CR-V for cash and buy yourself a replacement for the Kia.

Of course, with this solution, you end up loaning the CR-V back to your in-laws within a few years when that car craps out for good.
this is a good suggestion.
Old 03-29-12, 10:39 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
This is the father-in-law who arranged that butt raping you got at the dealership, right? Tell him to grow legs and go away.
The very same

Originally Posted by GMan2819 View Post
Is it really the towing or the fear of what it might cost to get it fixed?

Do they have a cellphone plan? Most cellphone contract plans have an optional roadside assistance option for $3/month. Don't know if the pay-as-you-go plans have it. Maybe have them look into that.

If you're sure the battery is good, is there a sound when you try to start the engine? If not, it's probably the starter. Replacing the starter won't cost thousands. More like hundreds.
They have a cell phone plan. There's a sound when you try and start the engine. It wouldn't go into gear for the longest time (stuck in park) and you'd have to turn the wheel the get it loose enough and it'd take 30 minutes to fix. Then it would work for a day or two then not start again. I guess it doesn't start at all now.

Originally Posted by Jeeden View Post
So the Kia is available because your wife doesn't work every day or is it a completely spare vehicle. If you really don't need it, I would sell it for $500 to anyone, maybe they will want to buy it, maybe not, but either case, you are down to the one vehicle that you need so they should go elsewhere.
No she works every day. Her Mom works at the same school as she does, so they carpool, and then the Mom takes it, uses it, drives back to carpool, rinse and repeat.

Originally Posted by jfoobar View Post
As these are in-laws, what is your wife's opinion on this matter. I'd say hers is the opinion that counts for the most...by far.
She thinks all is well, or she tells me to deal with it if I have a problem.

Originally Posted by Nefarious View Post
They can add roadside assistance & rental coverage to their insurance plan for less than the cost of a single blu-ray. That would get the vehicle towed and possibly* even cover a rental while they wait on repairs.


*possibly because rental coverage may only come into play if there are repairs related to an accident.



Another option - Is there a local high school with a vo-tech program that could look at it and repair it for just the cost of parts?
I might ask them to do that. I keep telling them they have no idea what is wrong with it, so it'd be nice to see what is up.

Originally Posted by Timber View Post
Sounds like a nightmare being that close to your in-laws that they borrow cars on a regular basis.

I don't know if I'd "help them out" and offer to get their car towed or what but you certainly need to put a stop to the every week "borrowing" thing. What's going to happen when the Kia breaks down on the side of the road? Are they not going to spend the money to tow it? Are they not going to offer any money on the repair? What about oil changes, are they getting them done?
Exactly what I was thinking. When it breaks, they won't fix it. The Mother=in-law said "that's the chance you take when someone borrows something".

They don't pay for oil changes or anything.

Another thing is the father-in-law knows the dealership (where I got the "deal") and he won't ask them for help. He's known the owner for years, and they're good friends, yet he won't go to him. He says "oh he won't help me".

For the people that are wondering about the financial situation, he actually pays a storage place $400 a month to store this giant custom model of old town Hollywood that is supposedly worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. he got it for about 1k a year ago, and they've been paying storage fees on it since. You do the math, that's alot of money.

The mother-in-law lets him do his own thing because he's a cancer survivor and is living on borrowed time.
Old 03-29-12, 10:52 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Originally Posted by nickdawgy View Post
When it breaks, they won't fix it. The Mother-in-law said "that's the chance you take when someone borrows something".
WTF? If that's her attitude, I wouldn't let her borrow it. "I guess I just don't want to take the chance that you get stuck by the side of the road, Mom. I care too much about you to want you to be hit by another car as you walk to a gas station, or get murdered by a crazy person...oh wait, here's the keys. Have a nice drive."
Old 03-29-12, 11:43 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Without your wife backing you up, this could be an uphill battle. They are acting more like her kids rather than her parents.

Why are they saying that it has to be towed to the dealership? Isn't there a decent repair facility closer? I'd find out who much a tow would cost to both. If they still won't tow it, find a good mobile repairman and see how much they would charge for a diagnosis. I've had to use one twice and it wasn't as much as one would think (car was at a restaurant and wouldn't start. He came out and the problem was a bad relay for the fuel pump. He repaired it on the spot and charged me $50 total).

I would almost put my foot down and say no more borrowing your car until they at least get theirs checked out to see what the problem might be.
Old 03-29-12, 11:56 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

The father-in-law just spends it on stupid things like Blu-Ray's just because there is a sale, video games (when he has like 50 games he hasn't finished)
You better be careful of what you write, it sounds like your father-in-law is probably a member here.
Old 03-29-12, 11:57 AM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

First of all your in-laws sound like a nightmare. My condolences .

Second: How did this happen?
He also has the wrong sized tires on the car, and won't buy new ones because they "cost too much to worry about".
Third: You're in Orange County right? I am too, and I can hook you up with a mobile repairman who will come to you with everything neccessary to fix the car. Also, my gardener owns a tow truck and he tows cars to repair facilities as a side job. I'm sure he's cheap.
Old 03-29-12, 12:02 PM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

They may be borrowing your car, but you're sleeping with their daughter.

Occasionally.

Tell your wife she needs to do that more if her parents are always borrowing the car. It's called fairness.
Old 03-29-12, 12:36 PM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Originally Posted by cultshock View Post
You better be careful of what you write, it sounds like your father-in-law is probably a member here.


Originally Posted by Mabuse View Post
First of all your in-laws sound like a nightmare. My condolences .

Second: How did this happen?

Third: You're in Orange County right? I am too, and I can hook you up with a mobile repairman who will come to you with everything neccessary to fix the car. Also, my gardener owns a tow truck and he tows cars to repair facilities as a side job. I'm sure he's cheap.
I'm in LA County. I was born in OC, and lived there til I was 20. Oh how I miss it.

Anyway.

How did it happen? The car just stopped working.

EDIT: Oh did you mean the wrong sized tires? He had some problems with his tires, and I guess the dealership had some old tires they gave him for free.

Originally Posted by Thor Simpson View Post
They may be borrowing your car, but you're sleeping with their daughter.

Occasionally.

Tell your wife she needs to do that more if her parents are always borrowing the car. It's called fairness.


It just gets on my nerves when they say they don't have the money, and they have no clue how much it'll be, and spend money on stupid things.

Example, just recently he's been talking about buying this $400 projector thing that shows what's on your iPhone. What? Why?
Old 03-29-12, 12:47 PM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

What I would do is trade cars, get the other one fixed, and use it, when the Kia dies, sell them the Honda, and don't buy them a car, if you do they will suck you dry, and as for father in law living in borrowed time, we all are. Tell them that the local Rent-a-Wreck is closed and the ATM is out of money. Good luck to you!
Old 03-29-12, 12:52 PM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Originally Posted by milwaukee_mike View Post
Simple three step solution:

1- Trade them the Kia for the CR-V.
2- Take CR-V to local mechanic that also sells used cars and have them look it over.
3a- Pay for repair (my money is on a new distributor (<$200 repair) and you now have a running, reliable Honda
3b- or trade in CR-V for cash and buy yourself a replacement for the Kia.

Of course, with this solution, you end up loaning the CR-V back to your in-laws within a few years when that car craps out for good.
You lost your money!
Old 03-29-12, 02:22 PM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Oh did you mean the wrong sized tires? He had some problems with his tires, and I guess the dealership had some old tires they gave him for free.
The dealership isn't supposed to mount wrong sized tires. How much larger than spec are they?
Old 03-29-12, 02:53 PM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

I would tell my wife, "I am going to let this be your problem until you tell me to do something about it. Once you do, you don't get to bitch about how I resolve it."

Once the Kia dies (assuming that is before your wife tells you to take care of it), I'd get a new car and simply tell them that you don't want to lend out the new car and deal with the extra mileage, etc.
Old 03-29-12, 03:55 PM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Are you in-laws Asians? or Mexicans? Not that it matters, just wondering.
Old 03-29-12, 04:08 PM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Originally Posted by Raul3 View Post
Are you in-laws Asians? or Mexicans? Not that it matters, just wondering.
Are you a racist? Not that it matters, just wondering.
Old 03-29-12, 04:11 PM
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Re: Can We Borrow Your Car? Again?

Originally Posted by Raul3 View Post
Are you in-laws Asians? or Mexicans? Not that it matters, just wondering.
That's the exact same question I was going to ask!

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