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YADT: How do you turn someone down?

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YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Old 10-24-11, 07:38 PM
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YADT: How do you turn someone down?

A friend of mine recently went on a blind date (or an e-internet date). She said the date wasn't a disastrous one, but there will be no second one.

He sent her a message along these lines:

Hey, I had a good time on our date this weekend. You're a great girl, I'd love to see you again, if you're up for it.
We both agreed that saying "OK" then continually saying you're busy is not the way to go. (Note: This is why I've always said if a girl is always busy, take it as a no.)

So... how would you let this guy down gently, but firmly?
Old 10-24-11, 07:47 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Honesty is the best policy. Give it to him straight...that she doesn't feel its going to work.
Old 10-24-11, 07:57 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

"I had a nice time getting to meet you, I do appreciate that you took time out of your day to spend with me. I'll be up front and honest here, I am just not feeling the energy between us, I see a lot of incompatibilities and feel that trying to date one another would end poorly. Thanks again for the lovely date, I hope you find someone soon, you're a very nice person".

Standard "thanks but no thanks" message
Old 10-24-11, 07:59 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Text back: I'm glad you think I'm a great girl. I want to see you again. Soon. I think I love you!
Old 10-24-11, 08:02 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by FiveO View Post
Honesty is the best policy. Give it to him straight...that she doesn't feel its going to work.


Most people aren't good at taking hints, especially when it comes to dating, so be honest and clear.
Old 10-24-11, 08:04 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by TomOpus View Post
Text back: I'm glad you think I'm a great girl. I want to see you again. Soon. I think I love you!
That would work too, unless she was on a date with mhg83.
Old 10-24-11, 08:07 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

so do you want to go out again?


"no"


see.. not hard.
Old 10-24-11, 08:09 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Text back "Thanks Bill, I had a great time too."

:-) or whatever name isn't his name.
Old 10-24-11, 08:15 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

"Sure, I'd like to go out again. I'll have to check my sitter's availability."

The end.
Old 10-24-11, 08:21 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

I guess just send Dragon Fly's avatar and be done with it.
Old 10-24-11, 08:38 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Have your friend "accidentally" send him a text of her boning another dude while conspicuously holding today's paper.
Old 10-24-11, 08:38 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?


I'll call ya...
Old 10-24-11, 09:00 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

When I was 19 I once told a chick I couldn't go out with her because I had to write a letter. I don't think your friend could do much worse than that.
Old 10-24-11, 09:30 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

The worst date I ever went on the girl ended up texting for a second date. I was shocked that she didn't get how awful the date was... I didn't text her that I just wrote something along the lines of "I didn't feel a connection."
Old 10-24-11, 09:40 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by Kittydreamer View Post
"I had a nice time getting to meet you, I do appreciate that you took time out of your day to spend with me. I'll be up front and honest here, I am just not feeling the energy between us, I see a lot of incompatibilities and feel that trying to date one another would end poorly. Thanks again for the lovely date, I hope you find someone soon, you're a very nice person".

Standard "thanks but no thanks" message
Winner
Old 10-24-11, 09:46 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by NORML54601 View Post
When I was 19 I once told a chick I couldn't go out with her because I had to write a letter. I don't think your friend could do much worse than that.
Which letter did you write?
Old 10-24-11, 09:59 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by The Bus View Post
Winner
How is it that this wasn't obvious to you?
Old 10-24-11, 10:07 PM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by Numanoid View Post
How is it that this wasn't obvious to you?
I don't really date, so I don't know if there's a new way for kids do it, what with the MySpace and whatnot.
Old 10-25-11, 12:33 AM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by The Bus View Post
So... how would you let this guy down gently, but firmly?
From my experience (about seven years of online dating) the two ways to go about rejecting someone are either a.) just don't respond (they'll get the hint after a day), or b.) say "I think you're great, but the chemistry just wasn't there...good luck to you" or "I think you're great, but I got more of a 'friend' vibe from the meet. Good luck in your search."
Old 10-25-11, 12:46 AM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

I think the short and sweet letdown is far superior to ignoring someone. We've all been dumped or rejected. It's just common courtesy to offer some sort of reply.
Old 10-25-11, 12:56 AM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by Kittydreamer View Post
"I had a nice time getting to meet you, I do appreciate that you took time out of your day to spend with me. I'll be up front and honest here, I am just not feeling the energy between us, I see a lot of incompatibilities and feel that trying to date one another would end poorly. Thanks again for the lovely date, I hope you find someone soon, you're a very nice person".

Standard "thanks but no thanks" message

When a woman told me this, I thanked her. It is so much better hearing someone saying this forthrightly than someone not returning my messages and waiting for me to figure it out.
Old 10-25-11, 07:40 AM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by TimeandTide View Post
From my experience (about seven years of online dating) the two ways to go about rejecting someone are either a.) just don't respond (they'll get the hint after a day), or b.) say "I think you're great, but the chemistry just wasn't there...good luck to you" or "I think you're great, but I got more of a 'friend' vibe from the meet. Good luck in your search."
Friend vibe? No way. Don't ever say that. Absolutely nobody wants to hear the "f word". If you're truly not interested just say so. Don't say we should be friends when, in reality, you never want to see that person again. It's not like you're going to be friends with somebody after one disastrous date. Besides, if younsay we should be friends the other person MIGHT continue to ask you to do friend stuff. Just say thanks but I didn't feel a connection. Good luck. No need to explain yourself or get too wordy.
Old 10-25-11, 07:51 AM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by whoopdido View Post
Friend vibe? No way. Don't ever say that. Absolutely nobody wants to hear the "f word". If you're truly not interested just say so. Don't say we should be friends when, in reality, you never want to see that person again. It's not like you're going to be friends with somebody after one disastrous date. Besides, if younsay we should be friends the other person MIGHT continue to ask you to do friend stuff. Just say thanks but I didn't feel a connection. Good luck. No need to explain yourself or get too wordy.
exactly, unless you want to end up stuffed in a freezer in a storage locker.
Old 10-25-11, 09:09 AM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post

When a woman told me this, I thanked her. It is so much better hearing someone saying this forthrightly than someone not returning my messages and waiting for me to figure it out.
agreed.

Basically a form of the above or something similar. Please have her write at least something - obviously if a girl doesn't respond the guy will take the hint - but being on the other end is frustrating not hearing at least something back.

Being polite and courteous goes a long way
Old 10-25-11, 10:16 AM
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Re: YADT: How do you turn someone down?

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post

When a woman told me this, I thanked her. It is so much better hearing someone saying this forthrightly than someone not returning my messages and waiting for me to figure it out.
But then you ended up marrying the chick who rejected you so that's kind of a mixed message.

All kidding aside, she should just be straight with the guy. And absolutely no offers of friendship. That can be misinterpreted as "maybe someday". Just have her be straight with him and never contact him again.

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