Go Back  DVD Talk Forum > General Discussions > Other Talk
Reload this Page >

Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Old 10-20-11, 12:40 PM
  #1  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,673
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

So, everyone got big plans for the second round of rapture tomorrow? We were just being judged last time, and tomorrow is when we find out the results.

I blogged about my feelings and plans to get to a timeline border, just to see everyone being torn apart. Should be fun!

A Rapturous Apocalypse Now Redux

Previously on “As the Rapture Turns,” we were told the world was going to end by a crazy coot named Harold Camping, threes of people believed him, mass hysteria didn't hit when everything happened as expected (nothing) and the world came to a bloody end as the apocalypse took the souls of every living Christian.

One of those didn't happen.

But then the big twist occurred—the world was never supposed to end on that day, instead a secret invisible alien creature god (SIACG) used this time to secretly judge if he should end the life of every good Christian soul. Then on October 21st, we'd find out what he decided. M. Night Shyamalan responded by saying if the world didn't actually end, he'd definitely steal that plot for his next pile of crap.

While we don't know which way SIACG is going, the world will probably end tomorrow. Why else would he make a big show of showing up (in invisible form) to pass judgment (invisibly) if he didn't want to end most life in the non-invisible world?

So it seems SIACG will rapture the good souls on October 21st, and for real this time. I'm actually kind of looking forward to this event, because if it's as goofy as Harold Camping predicts, it will be quite memorable—that is, before roving bands of mutant zombie dogs feast upon the flesh and brains of the remaining humans.

One of the key aspects of this end of the universe prediction involves strict adherence to time zones. Camping predicted the world will end at six pm local time, everywhere. This precision guided rapture knows exactly what time it is everywhere and will adhere to them as it brings about the end. It doesn't matter that time zones constantly shift and nobody really knows what time it actually is. It doesn't matter that Indiana can never decide if it wants to follow daylight savings time. It doesn't matter that China has one official time zone but Tibet has an unofficial second one. SIACG is much bigger than mere people and their artificial time constructs, but he will use it to ensure their end.

Now that we know the time of death, how exactly will this occur? Earthquakes. Lots and lots of earthquakes. The six pm D-hour will see earthquakes hit in every time zone. I love this because it's like Camping has never even looked into how plate tectonics work. An earthquake isn't going to say “Gee golly, I've come to an arbitrary lines that's redrawn constantly. I guess I will stop quaking for the next hour before continuing.” It will definitely be interesting to see that earthquake shatter Omaha, NE, because there's actually no way whatsoever for an earthquake to occur there.
Even a toddler can see there's no way earthquakes could
occur in the majority of the world. Especially not at
six pm everywhere.

I imagine the areas bordering time zone lines will also see massive tourist dollars come in as everyone will want to straddle the line dividing -900 GMT from -800 GMT. One side will feature absolute chaos while the other will be relatively sane. Those who are going to ascend can straddle the border and have half of their soul go to the great beyond while the other half remains behind to fester and die before rising in an hour's time.

This really excites me, because it will be like the time when my roommate stole sneaked into a construction site and stole the blue prints for the 5th floor of the building. Upon completion, I'm certain the first through fourth floors were completely normal, and the sixth floor met building code. But when you entered the fifth floor, there were constant garbage fires, hobos, billy goats eating kumquats and rickshaws. These borderlands remained intact while the center was destroyed.

Knowing all of this in advance, I'm still taking a flight on October 21. I certainly hope my pilot is the scum of the earth, because that will ensure he doesn't rapture and can safely land the plane into the mess civilization will have become. I might even slip some cocaine into his mid-flight coffee, just to draw him farther from the point of good and keep us flying safely.
Old 10-20-11, 12:50 PM
  #2  
Video Game Talk Reviewer
 
Canis Firebrand's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Formerly known as "Vryce"/Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 13,857
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

A comedian I heard on XM yesterday has the best idea. Every family that feels they are going to be raptured should adopt a homeless family and move them in. Then, when the original family gets raptured, the homeless family just "inherits" the home. Win/win
Old 10-20-11, 02:15 PM
  #3  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Mrs. Danger's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: With Nick Danger
Posts: 17,915
Likes: 0
Received 3 Likes on 2 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

If I get raptured, I will be sooo pissed. I don't want to go with those guys!
Old 10-20-11, 02:22 PM
  #4  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 36,850
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

But they already got Gaddafi. Isn''t this a "Johnny Come Lately" kind of move?
Old 10-20-11, 02:45 PM
  #5  
DVD Talk Ultimate Edition
 
Xander's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Des Moines, IA
Posts: 4,377
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

I totally forgot about this. Definitely seems less hyped since the first "rapture" didn't happen. Is there a specific time of day it is happening? Should I give my wife her birthday present first thing in the morning in case one of us gets raptured later in the day?
Old 10-20-11, 02:58 PM
  #6  
DVD Talk God
 
kvrdave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 86,201
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

You should just print out a picture of a cruise you are going to go on. You won't ever have to actually pay for it. Though I'd suggest you let her show her appreciation prior to 11:38 am. Just sayin.
Old 10-20-11, 05:15 PM
  #7  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Formerly known as Groucho AND Bandoman/Death Moans, Iowa
Posts: 17,064
Received 7 Likes on 3 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Originally Posted by Vryce View Post
A comedian I heard on XM yesterday has the best idea. Every family that feels they are going to be raptured should adopt a homeless family and move them in. Then, when the original family gets raptured, the homeless family just "inherits" the home. Win/win
I think most of these people sold all their stuff to fund traveling around the country spreading the word.

But maybe someone will take them in after tomorrow.
Old 10-20-11, 06:49 PM
  #8  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Troy Stiffler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Under an I-10 Overpass
Posts: 21,509
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Originally Posted by Mrs. Danger View Post
If I get raptured, I will be sooo pissed. I don't want to go with those guys!
Yea. It's the end of the world. Those people can go to heaven and sing Kumbaya. I want to battle some motherfucking demons.
Old 10-20-11, 06:55 PM
  #9  
DVD Talk Godfather
 
The Bus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 54,876
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

They need to hire a new publicist. We just hear about this the day before? What is this, The Big Year of rapture events?
Old 10-20-11, 07:11 PM
  #10  
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 7,982
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Originally Posted by Mrs. Danger View Post
If I get raptured, I will be sooo pissed. I don't want to go with those guys!
You won't go if in your heart you prefer this world.
Old 10-20-11, 07:54 PM
  #11  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Th0r S1mpson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 36,443
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Yeah, hadn't really heard about this one so I made other plans. Will check in to see how it goes.
Old 10-20-11, 09:02 PM
  #12  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Lower Gum Curve
Posts: 19,086
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Bring it on, bitchez!
Old 10-20-11, 09:50 PM
  #13  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Nick Danger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Albuquerque
Posts: 22,759
Likes: 0
Received 14 Likes on 8 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Originally Posted by Wazootyman View Post
So, everyone got big plans for the second round of rapture tomorrow? We were just being judged last time, and tomorrow is when we find out the results.

I blogged about my feelings and plans to get to a timeline border, just to see everyone being torn apart. Should be fun!

A Rapturous Apocalypse Now Redux
I thought you'd like to know: I laughed out loud when I read the phrase "Mach 3 razor". Mrs Danger came over to see what I was laughing about. She's more of a visual person, and she laughed at the picture.
Old 10-20-11, 10:00 PM
  #14  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 15,556
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

I'm more worried about a raptor than the rapture.
Old 10-22-11, 12:46 AM
  #15  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,673
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Well, I didn't notice any ascension tonight, but I wasn't hanging out with the godliest of people.

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post
I thought you'd like to know: I laughed out loud when I read the phrase "Mach 3 razor". Mrs Danger came over to see what I was laughing about. She's more of a visual person, and she laughed at the picture.
Makes me feel good Just as an aside, I do update every Monday and Thursday and I do have some good things coming down the pipeline.
Old 10-22-11, 01:57 AM
  #16  
DVD Talk Legend
 
JumpCutz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: south of heaven
Posts: 13,540
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

How many shots does this Camping guy get to nail the actual date?
Old 10-22-11, 04:36 AM
  #17  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Under Golden Gate Bridge
Posts: 10,912
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

We did get some earthquakes here.
Old 10-22-11, 02:09 PM
  #18  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 15,556
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Originally Posted by JumpCutz View Post
How many shots does this Camping guy get to nail the actual date?
As many as he wants til the rapture actually happens.
Old 10-22-11, 02:38 PM
  #19  
DVD Talk Legend
 
DeputyDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 14,081
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

So... like 1 minute left? Bye guys, it's been gre
Old 10-22-11, 02:54 PM
  #20  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Mrs. Danger's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: With Nick Danger
Posts: 17,915
Likes: 0
Received 3 Likes on 2 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

How about we start a Rapture Pool. Everybody put money on a date.
Old 10-22-11, 03:36 PM
  #21  
DVD Talk Godfather
 
DVD Polizei's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 52,603
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Crap, I missed it.

At least this kind of Rapture is like a mass transit bus.

There will ALWAYS be another one on its way soon!
Old 10-22-11, 04:48 PM
  #22  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Troy Stiffler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Under an I-10 Overpass
Posts: 21,509
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Originally Posted by Mrs. Danger View Post
How about we start a Rapture Pool. Everybody put money on a date.
Yes. Everyone put your money. Pick a date. I will "hold onto" your money until the rapture occurs. I promise.
Old 10-22-11, 07:50 PM
  #23  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
adrenaline78's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Janesville, WI
Posts: 3,147
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

Did it happen yet? I had to expel my own "rapture"
Old 10-22-11, 10:26 PM
  #24  
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 7,982
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

One thing for sure you can't go by the Wall Street protesters getting rapture .
Their ass will remain and get all the jobs the Tea Party members leave behind.
Old 10-22-11, 11:59 PM
  #25  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 36,850
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Rapture Talk 2011 Pt. 2

You actually think the Tea Party members are gonna get raptured? I figure God'd keep all political nutjobs (regardless of affiliation) out of heaven, if He planned on rapturing people.

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.