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Would You Date this Woman?

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Would You Date this Woman?

Old 09-21-11, 10:08 AM
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Would You Date this Woman?

I came across this profile the other day on POF and it really floored me. Keep in mind, she says it's all in good humor, but true!


Here's her run down on men who should NOT dare contact her:

Gentlemen, please read this with a little bit of humor in your heart, after all, it's meant to be funny (and true)...

If I'm not attracted to you, it's just not gonna happen so, if you get through this and still think you might have a shot in the running, shoot me a message...

Here's what I'm NOT attracted to:

1. If you have a "cul de sac", a mullet or a comb over, don't bother.

2. If you have meth mouth, missing teeth or just overall bad oral hygiene, don't bother.

3. If you are overweight, don't bother. I'm sorry guys but you know you wouldn't even be looking at my pic if I was a fatass.

4. If you smoke, dip or chew tobaccy, don't bother...yuck! nuff said

5. If you wear a trucker hat... yep, don't bother.

6. If you wear Wranglers, snap shirts and/or a cowboy hat and need a "boot scootin' darlin' for your weekly Saturday night run to the Cowboy? Forget it! George Strait can't even pull that look off! On the other hand, if you look like the Marlboro man, I MIGHT let the cowboy hat slide... we'll see.

7. If you wipe your sweaty Budweiser beer can on your stained wife beater and find the need to flip off the camera at the same time...don't bother.

8. If you have no picture on your profile page and otherwise will not send me one...don't bother.

9. If you find yourself wanting to message me with an obviously irresistable offer of $200.00 (give or take) for a night of passionate, mind-blowing sex with you... well, you get the drift... you will be blocked.

10. If you wear diapers or depends because you're under 18 or over 65...you guessed it... don't bother.

11. If you are a "young buck" and are looking for that special MILF or COUGAR to get ya freak on... I AM NOT HER!!

12. I am NOT interested if you are a gansta, a pimp daddy or any form of ghetto...I do not like gold teeth, dreads or the fact that you can't keep your pants up. Do us both a favor and keep moving..

13. I can't stand unibrows, porn star mustaches, or camoflauge. Again, I want to reiterate: I don't want to see the fish you caught or the buck you slaughtered. It's just not my cup of tea.

14. DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT message me with a "Hello, how are you, how are you doing, hello beautiful, how was your weekend, or, you are sexy" or anything else equally retarded and nothing else...I HATE that... for god's sakes, intrique me don't BORE me....I will not respond to that question. It's not even worth my time to tell you "how I'm doing"...if you message me with one of those lil phrases (and I get at least ten a day) I'm going to KNOW that you didn't read my profile. And that you are a dork. You are probably going to wonder why I don't respond, well, that is why.

15. If you are going to write very little...as in: 3 words or less, PLEASE make sure you spell those words RIGHT...come on people... it's 3 words... google it..., they can tell ya how to spell it...

16. If you live in another state or are just passing through...DON'T MESSAGE ME...I'm not interested in a long-distance/chat/skype or text relationship or a one-night stand. For the record, unless you are the aforementioned Marlboro man, do not ask if I can make the trip to come see you...you wanna see me that bad? You can make the drive...chivalry is NOT dead, be a man.

And finally...

17. I do not date black men. I'm sorry guys, but I just don't. I'm not a black man hater, but I'm not a black man dater either...Please don't be an ass and send me hate mail ~~~

and for the record: if you have repeatedly messaged my inbox over and over already and I haven't responded, it's not because I haven't seen it, it's because I'm not interested. Simple as that. Not because I'm scared of your obvious animal magnitism and irristible charm and good looks. It honestly takes me about 1 1/2 seconds to determine if I am "hot for you" by looking at your profile picture... Don't message me again and tell me what a **** I am for not jumping all over it...because I have no doubt that you are doing the same thing to me...

and, for those of you who are wondering what a cul de sac is and if you sport one, here is the definition:

A hairstyle frequently sported by middle aged men, although unintentional in design. No hair on top, but hair all the way around the back and sides.

If you think this profile is funny? Great! You probably have a great sense of humor! If not, one of the previous above captioned probably applies to you!


As for me, no way in hell even if I met her requirements. lol I can't imagine someone being happy in a relationship with a person this demanding. But on the flip side, I guess you could say she is being assertive and simply knows what she wants.

Last edited by dvdjunkie32; 09-21-11 at 11:41 AM.
Old 09-21-11, 10:22 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Pic?

Old 09-21-11, 10:27 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Most of it's not really all that demanding. Basically:

Originally Posted by Abridged Profile of Random Chick on Dating Site
I want to date a non-tobacco using, good looking athletic person who isn't a hipster or trashy. I'm open to dating someone older or younger than me, as long as it isn't a huge age difference. I'm looking for someone capable of good conversation and proper grammar. I'm only interested in dating, not one night stands. And no blacks.
Outside the last bit, she doesn't seem that bad.
Old 09-21-11, 10:28 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Seriously? You don't include the pic?
Old 09-21-11, 10:28 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Also, it's nice that she meant it to be funny, but it was really lacking in laughs.
Old 09-21-11, 10:30 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

15. If you are going to write very little...as in: 3 words or less, PLEASE make sure you spell those words RIGHT...come on people... it's 3 words... google it..., they can tell ya how to spell it...

magnitism/ *magnetism

irristible / *irresistible

irresistable/ *irresistible

ya/ *you

camoflauge/ *camouflage

intrique/ *intrigue
Old 09-21-11, 10:47 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Originally Posted by spainlinx0 View Post
Seriously? You don't include the pic?
Can't get the html right for posting pics, but try these links:

http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/...53976564-2.jpg



http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/..._152890929.jpg


She's hot as long as it's in a glamour shot at a sideways angle with lots of makeup. lol
Old 09-21-11, 10:51 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Guilty. Burn her alive.
Old 09-21-11, 11:02 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

1. Post picture in lingerie and high heels to dating site.
2. Be pissy about not wanting one-night stands.
3. ?
4. Profit!
Old 09-21-11, 11:02 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

If this woman was as hot shit as she appears to think she is, she wouldn't be seeking men on an online dating service.
Old 09-21-11, 11:04 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

she sounds hot in bed...after seeing her pics, i say bang her
Old 09-21-11, 11:05 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

I hate to be shallow, but starting with pic 2 would have saved reading 17 questions.
Old 09-21-11, 11:12 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

she needs a better sense of humor
Old 09-21-11, 11:25 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

hahaha

yeah, that demanding of a woman should be quite hot, she...was not.

Seems like one of those people who have high requirements but forgets the fact she's kinda fugly.

Reminds me of a fat girl I know who wants to get married but refuses to acknowledge she is a .5 on a 1 to 10 scale and looks down on the rare bastard who shows any interest.

This woman should be just fine with a comb-over guy.
Old 09-21-11, 11:38 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

I would respond: do you have a cock?
Old 09-21-11, 11:40 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Originally Posted by foofighters7 View Post
hahaha

yeah, that demanding of a woman should be quite hot, she...was not.

Seems like one of those people who have high requirements but forgets the fact she's kinda fugly.

Reminds me of a fat girl I know who wants to get married but refuses to acknowledge she is a .5 on a 1 to 10 scale and looks down on the rare bastard who shows any interest.

This woman should be just fine with a comb-over guy.
Oh but I forgot to mention her laundry list of qualities she posted:


I was married at 24 and divorced at 34.

v I have a beautiful son.

v My parents divorced when I was 5; It was devastating to me.

v When I was a kid I made a dirt and snuff pie and made my cousin eat it. I worried for days that she was going to die. Yes, I was a mean and hateful child… it’s a generational thing…

v When I was 4, I ran away from home and fell asleep in the woods…the fire department, and sheriff’s department was called; the siren’s woke me up and I came home to see what all the commotion was about.

v I want to get married again (to the right man).

v I would rather be alone than with someone I don’t love.

v I will not get another divorce.

v I like fast cars and loose … oh nevermind.

v My dream car is a 1969 candy apple red convertible Camaro with white interior or a ’70 Chevelle, Black on Black; I want them to hear me coming before they see me coming…

v I love riding on the back of a Harley. I will have one of my own someday. Maybe.

v I want to go to Sturgis.

v I have my own chaps and Harley jacket and I wear them proudly.

v I love to party naked. In Mulberry.

v I am a free spirit.

v I do not have a mouth filter.

v I want to live somewhere warm and sunny all year around.

v I love to read. My favorite books are: The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown and If Tomorrow Comes by Sidney Sheldon.

v I can write, when I’m motivated or pissed off.

v I am the sweetest girl in the world until you make me cry.

v I’ve only been in love once in my life; it was not my husband of ten years.

v I ALMOST died of a broken heart.

v I watch out for the male narcissist; and the female one, too.

I love how these women brag about having beautiful children like that is really going to turn me on. Yea she is trying to be cute and funny but it ain't working.
Old 09-21-11, 11:58 AM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

v I love to read. My favorite books are: The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown and
Old 09-21-11, 12:02 PM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Most guys just want a woman to love, cook, and clean.
Old 09-21-11, 12:05 PM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Originally Posted by spainlinx0 View Post
Also, it's nice that she meant it to be funny, but it was really lacking in laughs.
Originally Posted by LurkerDan View Post
she needs a better sense of humor
Quickly skimming her demands, I seem to meet all of her qualifications but anyone who spends that much time and energy trying to be funny and failing completely gets an immediate pass from me. Plus, she isn't as hot as she thinks she is.
Old 09-21-11, 12:10 PM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Based on that second list, I'd say she has more baggage than the Ringling Bros Barnam and Bailey Circus. Run!
Old 09-21-11, 12:12 PM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
Most guys just want a woman to love, cook, and clean.
You never get to speak for "most guys." Never.
Old 09-21-11, 12:15 PM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Originally Posted by dvdjunkie32 View Post
Can't get the html right for posting pics, but try these links:

http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/...53976564-2.jpg



http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/..._152890929.jpg


She's hot as long as it's in a glamour shot at a sideways angle with lots of makeup. lol
Picture one is sexy and tempting. Picture two says run or if you are drunk then it might say turn around.....


Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
Most guys just want a woman to love, cook, and clean.
How would YOU know that?

Last edited by DirkUSA; 09-21-11 at 12:27 PM.
Old 09-21-11, 12:21 PM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
Most guys just want a woman to love, cook, and clean.
I clean my women before I cook them!
Old 09-21-11, 12:23 PM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Nope. Wouldn't date her, even in a desperate condition. The second picture shows why. First pic, she looks attractive. Second pic, she looks like one of those club girls who thinks they have so much going for them. You know, the ones that are almost attractive, but turn to the skanky side. I naturally, instinctively have a 'disgusted British guy' responsive look on my face when I see one. I've known them. Those women aren't just "aweee, got to love her" kind of girls. They're, "I was 25, now I'm 55, you ruined my life" women. I think she'd just be embarassing to be around.

Oh, and it looks like she's divorced, in her 30's, with a kid. Good luck, lady.
Old 09-21-11, 12:25 PM
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Re: Would You Date this Woman?

Originally Posted by Meglos View Post
I clean my women before I cook them!

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