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Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

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Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Old 09-17-11, 04:46 PM
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Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

and I knew the guy. I worked with him about 10 years ago. He was the toughest cholo, always talking about how many chicks he was nailing, how drunk he got (his nickname was "El Borracho") and talking about fighting.

Now here he is, in a suit and tie, with his son (who looked embarrassed/bored), asking me questions like, "Who Really Rules the World?" and quoting scripture from a bible. And this was on 9/11, so he asked where the evil came from that infected the terrorists. Satan is also apparently very crafy, having convinced everyone he doesn't exist. I took it all in, doing my best to not laugh, because I was friendly with the guy before and I let him to his schtick.

Why is it that people who fuck up in life, then find some higher power (be it a god/religion, AA, different drugs) feel like they need to go out and preach about it? Like, they finally figured out how the rest of us live life without being a total fuck up, and they're so excited to have learned this magical knowledge that everyone has to choke on what they swallowed.

Amirite?
Old 09-17-11, 04:54 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Put this sign on your door

Old 09-17-11, 04:55 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Your name used to be KillerCannibas.

Amirite....?
Old 09-17-11, 05:02 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by cungar View Post
Put this sign on your door

That's great, I need to find one of those.
Old 09-17-11, 05:03 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by cungar View Post
Put this sign on your door

But I don't hate black people?

Originally Posted by Minor Threat View Post
Your name used to be KillerCannibas.

Amirite....?
You be wrong. Learn to spell it first.
Old 09-17-11, 05:12 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by Minor Threat View Post
Your name used to be KillerCannibas.

Amirite....?
Yeah, but he didn't go door to door trying to sell the shit, he waiting for the people to come to him.
Old 09-17-11, 05:22 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

When I was in my twenties I had some JW's ring my apartment buzzer. I'd been up all night and was still drunk, so I thought what the hell and let them in. It was an older lady Native woman with a young woman, about 17 or 18. They came into my apartment and talked to me while I lounged in an easy chair, polietly nodding. This was in 1999 so they were on about the end of the world, and left me some book about Revelation. Only after they departed did I look to me left and see that beside me the whole time, spead open on the coffee table was a red hot porno lesbian three-way pictorial. I felt embarrassed.

Even still, they came back every Sunday for the next three weeks. I was always sleeping, but could hear them on my answering machine which was hooked up to the door buzzer. On the third week I didn't answer, the woman got really pissed off and said, "That's it! We're not coming back!" Which was sorta what I wanted anyway.
Old 09-17-11, 05:49 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

I always tell them that I'm not comfortable having them in my house, and ask them to meet me in a public place, like a picnic table at the park. Then, at the appointed day and time, I send Mormon missionaries in my stead.
Old 09-17-11, 05:51 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by KillerCannibal View Post

Why is it that people who fuck up in life, then find some higher power (be it a god/religion, AA, different drugs) feel like they need to go out and preach about it? Like, they finally figured out how the rest of us live life without being a total fuck up, and they're so excited to have learned this magical knowledge that everyone has to choke on what they swallowed.

Amirite?
If you found something that fundamentally changed your life and made it, in your view "better", wouldn't you tell some folks? It would be selfish if you didn't.

I'm sure if you found some great Weed, some new amazing booze, or some awesome Titty bar you'd tell you buddies right?
Old 09-17-11, 06:03 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by cungar View Post
Put this sign on your door

I've got one of those next to my doorbell! [IMG]Photobucket[/IMG]

Last edited by mickey65; 09-17-11 at 06:10 PM.
Old 09-17-11, 06:24 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by Giantrobo View Post
If you found something that fundamentally changed your life and made it, in your view "better", wouldn't you tell some folks? It would be selfish if you didn't.

I'm sure if you found some great Weed, some new amazing booze, or some awesome Titty bar you'd tell you buddies right?
I'd tell people about those things if they were into them. I wouldn't go door-to-door telling my neighbors how amazing my weed is.

(btw, it's amazing!)
Old 09-17-11, 06:50 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by Giantrobo View Post
If you found something that fundamentally changed your life and made it, in your view "better", wouldn't you tell some folks? It would be selfish if you didn't.

I'm sure if you found some great Weed, some new amazing booze, or some awesome Titty bar you'd tell you buddies right?
Close buddies, yeah. I wouldn't tell EVERYBODY, that would fuckin' ruin it.

They believe only a certain number will be making it to heaven. If I believed that, I would be trying to convert everyone to atheism to improve my chances. You have to wonder why they want everybody to believe in JW canon and compete for the available number of slots.

(Since I'm an atheist, I don't believe that but I don't care enough what others believe to bother being all evangelical about it, anyway.)
Old 09-17-11, 07:06 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

If they had nice treats then they'd probably be more popular.
Old 09-17-11, 07:32 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by Shazam View Post
If they had nice treats then they'd probably be more popular.
I'll bet Crocker's 17-18 year old did.

Oh....treats....nevermind.
Old 09-17-11, 07:33 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Tell them that you're gay, show them your pack of cigarettes and tell them you use marijuana & they'll never come back. I used to be a JW and got kicked out because they caught me smoking tobacco.
Old 09-17-11, 08:06 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

You mean, they just didn't promote you? That's weird.
Old 09-17-11, 09:01 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by danwiz View Post
Tell them that you're gay, show them your pack of cigarettes and tell them you use marijuana & they'll never come back. I used to be a JW and got kicked out because they caught me smoking tobacco.
Kicked out? Sure sounds like a cult. WHich kind of confirms my suspicians anyway.
Old 09-17-11, 09:08 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by KillerCannibal View Post
and I knew the guy. I worked with him about 10 years ago. He was the toughest cholo, always talking about how many chicks he was nailing, how drunk he got (his nickname was "El Borracho") and talking about fighting.

Now here he is, in a suit and tie, with his son (who looked embarrassed/bored), asking me questions like, "Who Really Rules the World?" and quoting scripture from a bible. And this was on 9/11, so he asked where the evil came from that infected the terrorists. Satan is also apparently very crafy, having convinced everyone he doesn't exist. I took it all in, doing my best to not laugh, because I was friendly with the guy before and I let him to his schtick.

Why is it that people who fuck up in life, then find some higher power (be it a god/religion, AA, different drugs) feel like they need to go out and preach about it? Like, they finally figured out how the rest of us live life without being a total fuck up, and they're so excited to have learned this magical knowledge that everyone has to choke on what they swallowed.

Amirite?
So was it today or 9/11?
Old 09-17-11, 09:14 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Oh, right. Well, pretend today is 9/11. It was easier to write that than "the other day". I'm one for brevity, man.
Old 09-17-11, 10:51 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by OldDude View Post
They believe only a certain number will be making it to heaven.
Yes but Jehovah's Witnesses also believe everyone else will get to live forever on an earthly paradise. So it's not like only a select few are getting a sweet deal.
Old 09-17-11, 11:03 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by KillerCannibal View Post
I wouldn't go door-to-door telling my neighbors how amazing my weed is.
Since it's conceivable that I could be your neighbor, I'm disappointed.
Old 09-17-11, 11:25 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by mickey65 View Post
I've got one of those next to my doorbell! Photobucket
Religious recruiters >>> Sales people in regard to PITA-ness.
Old 09-17-11, 11:44 PM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

These two hot black chicks had been comming to my door since I moved into my house. I did some internet searching on what they left and what they said and I guess they wanted me to hold bible study/readings in my home and take donations for JW church. Last time they came I think I scared them. I do not think they will be comming back. Once this summer it was an ederly white man from JW talking about how bad things were and handed me some literature from JW. Back where I used to live it was the Mormons on bicycles. They handed me a book/bible and I said okay and then they told me they would be back next week to discuss it with me and I threw the book back at them and said no thanks. A month or two later I was driving in the city and I saw the same two guys on thier bicycles riding on the sidewalk. Just has I got up to them one of the guys ran off the sidewalk and he and his bicycle went flying to the ground. There was a stoplight ahead and I was looking back in my rearview mirror thinking god works in mysterious ways.

Where do you get signs that were posted? I need them.
Old 09-18-11, 12:30 AM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

There are Jehovah's Witnesses in Canada and Japan?
Old 09-18-11, 12:45 AM
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Re: Jehovah's Witness came to my door today...

Originally Posted by Ranger View Post
There are Jehovah's Witnesses in Canada and Japan?
They are multi-national! It's big business.

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