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Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

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Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Old 04-29-11, 12:55 PM
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Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

I had a Facebook disagreement with my best friend of 40 years this week. I have apologized but have not heard from her and realize she may need to cool down. I said something (in jest) that she took offense to. We have had many disagreements over the years and have always been able to smooth things over.

The difference now is that her 19-year-old daughter scolded me on her mom's Facebook page, and try as I may, I just can't swallow the pill of being upbraided by someone who's young enough to be my daughter. I can't imagine ever doing that to one of my mother's friends, although to be fair, my mother was of a very different generation than mine and she was quite a bit older than me in comparison to the mothers of my friends.

A few weeks ago my friend scolded her daughter in front of me about something she and her husband were upset with Daughter about, and I told my friend afterward that I thought that was kind of not cool to do because the daughter was obviously embarrassed by having it brought up in front of someone outside the family. Now I wonder whether the daughter is striking out at me in misplaced anger over being reproved so publicly.

Anyway, it's a big ugly mess and I'd appreciate input.
Old 04-29-11, 12:59 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

This is the reason why I don't have friends or a Facebook account.
Old 04-29-11, 01:04 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Kids today have no shame. Who cares if she was embarrassed in front of someone else? Doing something wrong is doing something wrong.

I was raised to never "talk-back" to a grown-up, this held doubly true to adults that weren't my parents.

It's a respect thing, plain and simple.

It's funny to me that the 19year old responded to you (I'm assuming) of an adult manner in an adult way...and you responded to her in the same manner...then the mother got pissed off because it's her "baby-girl"? So which is it? Is she a 19-year-old child OR 19-year-old young adult?

BTW, 30 is the new 18...
Old 04-29-11, 01:11 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Without knowing any of the context it's impossible to respond to this.
Old 04-29-11, 01:11 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by MartinBlank View Post

I was raised to never "talk-back" to a grown-up, this held doubly true to adults that weren't my parents.

It's a respect thing, plain and simple.
This is precisely why I didn't object when Dipsy the Clown told me to drop my drawers and sit on his face. It was a respect thing, plain and simple.

...and it also felt sort of good in a wrong sort of way.
Old 04-29-11, 01:18 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by tracer bullet View Post
without knowing any of the context it's impossible to respond to this.
Ditto. Spill it.
Old 04-29-11, 01:21 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Facebook arguments are trashy.
Old 04-29-11, 01:26 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by Tracer Bullet View Post
Without knowing any of the context it's impossible to respond to this.
We'll also need pics to determine who's at fault.
Old 04-29-11, 01:28 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by Tracer Bullet View Post
Without knowing any of the context it's impossible to respond to this.
She was worrying about her husband who is currently in the south where the tornadoes had hit (he's okay, but a lot of people aren't). I made some flippant remark about him having gotten a -- well, I won't post it from work, but it has the word "blow" in it, if you get my drift.

Anyway, I shouldn't have been flip and I'm sorry I said it, but her FB is usually populated by a bunch of 40somethings like us and none of them objected or chided me. Like I said, I have no problem with apologizing to my friend. It was insensitive of me.

So now you know. I'm a terrible person.
Old 04-29-11, 01:29 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

wait...19 years old? What the hell is the mom scolding her for anyway? She's an adult, I'd tell me my to shut up if she started in on something trying to 'scold' me. I'm 30 now but at 19 I didn't need anyone 'scolding' me.

Oh and Facebook is the devil, down with Facebook. If you've been friends with someone for 40 years you have the right to tell them to get over it and grow up.
Old 04-29-11, 01:36 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Wait...you made a blowjob joke?
Old 04-29-11, 01:36 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Since when does a nineteen year-old owe you shit?

When I was a younger I told off adults, and never felt I owed them any kind of special respect just because they squirted out of a vagina a few decades before I did.

The simple fact is, most people are idiots, regardless of age. Facebook is proof of this.
Old 04-29-11, 01:37 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

*covering head* Here it comes ...
Old 04-29-11, 01:37 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
She was worrying about her husband who is currently in the south where the tornadoes had hit (he's okay, but a lot of people aren't). I made some flippant remark about him having gotten a -- well, I won't post it from work, but it has the word "blow" in it, if you get my drift.

Anyway, I shouldn't have been flip and I'm sorry I said it, but her FB is usually populated by a bunch of 40somethings like us and none of them objected or chided me. Like I said, I have no problem with apologizing to my friend. It was insensitive of me.

So now you know. I'm a terrible person.
Kind of similar situation... different outcome...

A friend of mine recently had to put down her cat. Apparently, and this is news to me, lilies, easter lilies and some other flowers are extremely lethal to cats. Like, if they get too close or nibble them just a tiny bit, it has the adverse effect of shutting down some of their vital organs. Scary shit. Anyway, so she posted a paragraph on her Facebook page about the dangers of those flowers to cats.

My wife re-posted that paragraph as well, because well... we have a cat, and neither of us had any idea about the issue, so she wanted to make sure other people were aware, too. A male friend of hers (and also a friend of the girl who had to put down Cooper... yes, named after Special Agent Dale Cooper) commented on my wife's post, saying something like "I know what I'm getting MY cat for his birthday! LOLZ OMG BBQ"

Instead of going into a hissy-fit about it, though, my wife just deleted his post. Lame Facebook Crisis(tm) averted.
Old 04-29-11, 01:51 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

For reasons I'll never understand, people seem to love to get upset about comments on social networking sites. If you made the same comment to your friend in person, it likely would have been laughed off & forgotten instantly.

I just don't get it.
Old 04-29-11, 01:52 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Ignore the 19 year old = act your age

Respond in any way to said 19 year old = become a 19 year-old yourself
Old 04-29-11, 01:57 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

What exactly are you asking us?
Old 04-29-11, 02:00 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
She was worrying about her husband who is currently in the south where the tornadoes had hit (he's okay, but a lot of people aren't). I made some flippant remark about him having gotten a -- well, I won't post it from work, but it has the word "blow" in it, if you get my drift.

Anyway, I shouldn't have been flip and I'm sorry I said it, but her FB is usually populated by a bunch of 40somethings like us and none of them objected or chided me. Like I said, I have no problem with apologizing to my friend. It was insensitive of me.

So now you know. I'm a terrible person.
Ok...so you made a blowjob joke...THEN, the daughter got butthurt...what did she say?
Old 04-29-11, 02:04 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by SkullOrchard View Post
This is the reason why I don't have friends or a Facebook account.
Isn't there a rule about having multiple accounts?

I'd think you would know better, Mr. Feather...
Old 04-29-11, 02:05 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by SomethingMore View Post
Kind of similar situation... different outcome...

A friend of mine recently had to put down her cat. Apparently, and this is news to me, lilies, easter lilies and some other flowers are extremely lethal to cats. Like, if they get too close or nibble them just a tiny bit, it has the adverse effect of shutting down some of their vital organs. Scary shit. Anyway, so she posted a paragraph on her Facebook page about the dangers of those flowers to cats.

My wife re-posted that paragraph as well, because well... we have a cat, and neither of us had any idea about the issue, so she wanted to make sure other people were aware, too. A male friend of hers (and also a friend of the girl who had to put down Cooper... yes, named after Special Agent Dale Cooper) commented on my wife's post, saying something like "I know what I'm getting MY cat for his birthday! LOLZ OMG BBQ"

Instead of going into a hissy-fit about it, though, my wife just deleted his post. Lame Facebook Crisis(tm) averted.
seems like your wife failed to see the sarcasm

Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
She was worrying about her husband who is currently in the south where the tornadoes had hit (he's okay, but a lot of people aren't). I made some flippant remark about him having gotten a -- well, I won't post it from work, but it has the word "blow" in it, if you get my drift.

Anyway, I shouldn't have been flip and I'm sorry I said it, but her FB is usually populated by a bunch of 40somethings like us and none of them objected or chided me. Like I said, I have no problem with apologizing to my friend. It was insensitive of me.

So now you know. I'm a terrible person.
have you made sexual remarks like that before about her husband?
Old 04-29-11, 02:07 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by MartinBlank View Post
Ok...so you made a blowjob joke...THEN, the daughter got butthurt...what did she say?
She said that my comment was not "appropriate" especially because I was talking about her father.
Old 04-29-11, 02:08 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Emotions/sarcasm don't translate well in texting. If you care then talk to her. If you don't then 'blow' it off.
Old 04-29-11, 02:08 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC View Post
have you made sexual remarks like that before about her husband?
Sure. We've been friends forever.
Old 04-29-11, 02:09 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC View Post
seems like your wife failed to see the sarcasm
Not at all. But our friend who put down her cat that same day most definitely would not have taken kindly to seeing that remark, and my wife didn't want a "fight" to ensue on her FB wall.
Old 04-29-11, 02:12 PM
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Re: Appropriate or inappropriate? Multigenerational dust-up

Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
*covering head* Here it comes ...
Sometimes you have to make the joke even if the timing isn't right. I do it all the time and get in trouble often. It is worth it. Anyone who knows me and takes big enough offense that they don't want to talk to me anymore -that's fine. I don't like walking around on eggshells with people.. so I don't both to communicate with people that might get easily hurt by my outstanding whit.

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