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Disliking your sibling(s)

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Disliking your sibling(s)

Old 12-06-10, 12:59 AM
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Disliking your sibling(s)

My sister and I haven't gotten along in years. I hate to say but I can't stand her that much. She is way too bossy, she takes things the wrong and acts like she can do no wrong and for the past few years my parents have been blaming me for us not being close when it is more her fault.

For Thanksgiving, I was busy with online class that I'm taking towards my MBA. So I decided to not go to my sister's for Thanksgiving because she lives two hours away. My parents live in the same area as me and they also decided not to go to her house for Thanksgiving because my dad was doing some volunteer the day after Thanksgiving. She and her son ended up coming over to my parents and later on she told some relatives that my parents are always bending over backwards for me and the never do enough for her. My parents do more for her than they do for me. My sister has a college degree and she has never made use of it. Her ex-boyfriend who is the father of her child is a jerk sometimes doesn't give her child support so whenever she needs money she goes to my parents and my parents almost considered buying her house while she was with her ex. Since I heard what she told others about Thanksgiving. I honestly don't feel like spending Christmas with her and my parents.

I feel bad in a way that we aren't close because one of our older brothers died years ago and other brother is estranged from us. I can't stand her at all and sometimes I don't want to be around her or her son.

I guess this is a vent thread I was wondering if there are others who dislike or can't stand being around their siblings and how do they cope with it.
Old 12-06-10, 01:12 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

My brother and I never got along until I moved out of the house. Then we got along just fine.
Old 12-06-10, 01:19 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Take the words of the Sunscreen essay to heed: "Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future."
Old 12-06-10, 01:28 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

I wish my brother lived only two hours away, hell I wish he just lived in this country. Instead he lives on the other side of the world, and I only get to seem him once every couple of years. Don't take proximity to your sibling for granted.
Old 12-06-10, 01:50 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Originally Posted by writer106 View Post
I feel bad in a way that we aren't close because one of our older brothers died years ago and other brother is estranged from us. I can't stand her at all and sometimes I don't want to be around her or her son.
Sounds like your family has problems.
Old 12-06-10, 03:02 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Originally Posted by Breakfast with Girls View Post
Sounds like your family has problems.
I agree ... whole family sounds fucked up. And he doesn't seem to like his parents much either. Or his nephew.
Old 12-06-10, 03:35 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

"Blood is blood"

Everyone says that when i mention that I'm not speaking to my family, siblings included.

But no one ever thinks that Blood is Blood MUST mean that the love and respect goes BOTH WAYS. Why is it no one ever tells the other side that "Blood is blood"?

Last edited by Giantrobo; 12-06-10 at 04:11 PM.
Old 12-06-10, 06:35 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

I went for several years without speaking to either of my sisters. No big blowout, we just stopped talking as weird as that may sound. They're both back in my life now for birthdays, holidays, BBQs, graduations, etc. And Facebook, of course. I don't really respect either one of them, but whatever. I enjoy seeing them as much as I do.
Old 12-06-10, 06:43 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Originally Posted by Breakfast with Girls View Post
Sounds like your family has problems.
We do but they aren't extremely bad.

Originally Posted by Mr. Salty View Post
I agree ... whole family sounds fucked up. And he doesn't seem to like his parents much either. Or his nephew.
I do like my parents and we along well but they tend side with my sister more and they don't call her out on things and I'm a she.
Old 12-06-10, 06:47 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Originally Posted by Giantrobo View Post
"Blood is blood"

Eveyone says that when i mention that I'm not speaking to my family, siblings included.

But no one ever thinks that Blood is Blood MUST mean that the love and respect goes BOTH WAYS. Why is it no one ever tells the other side that "Blood is blood"?
I have heard that saying a lot. I agree respect and love go both ways. My sister is the type of person that expects everyone to accept her views, always listen to her and respect her but when it's someone else she doesn't do the same. She doesn't always allow other people to state their views and she jumps to assumptions and conclusions.
Old 12-06-10, 06:51 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

I'm lucky, I guess. I would be sad where I in your situation.
Old 12-06-10, 09:04 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

My brother is gmal2003 here and he's the coolest. I consider him one of my best friends and although we're 14 years apart, we joke that we're twins. He's like the male version of me and just fun to be around. Sure we get on each others nerves but in the end we have a good relationship.
Old 12-06-10, 09:07 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

My best friend of 40 years and I were just discussing this topic last night when we had dessert and coffee together.

We are both the youngest of five children in our respective families. She has one sister and three brothers, and I have four brothers.

Neither of our families have turned out to be The Waltons. Not that we ever were. When my friend's mother died, she didn't go to the funeral because of conflicts with her siblings (and unresolved conflict with her mother). I sang for the funeral (as I had for her father's and other relatives in her family) and while I believed she should have been there, I supported her decision not to be. To me, you only get one mother and I would never have considered not going to my mom's funeral. But her relationship with her mom was a lot more complicated than mine with my mother.

She has patched things up with a couple of her sibs since the funeral, which I'm glad about. Once your parents are gone, your siblings are your only ties to the past.

In my own family: My oldest brother is 13 years older than I am. He lives in the metro area here, but he is married to a fat, ugly, spiteful, miserable hag whom I have never gotten along with and who is very threatened by anyone who takes her husband's attention away from her. We have gotten into several major conflagrations over the years, and she made a scene the day of my mother's funeral that I will never forgive her for. So I don't see him very often.

My second, third, and fourth brothers live 875 miles away, in the next town from my widowed dad. Brothers 2 and 3 I am very close to. We talk on the phone daily and are involved in each other's lives as much as you can be with someone who is that far away.

Brother 4 is the one I mainly grew up with (there are 6 years between Brother 3 and Brother 4, so there were relatively few years when all five of us lived at home). However, he is a lazy, good-for-nothing layabout who lives off his wife's bogus disability benefit and is into Brother 3 for at least twenty grand over the years, and my dad for way more than that. I have no respect for him and he knows it. So we're basically estranged.

So, two out of four ain't bad.
Old 12-06-10, 09:23 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Originally Posted by writer106 View Post
I'm a she.

That changes everything. Please post pictures of you and your sister so we can determine who is right.
Old 12-06-10, 09:31 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Originally Posted by writer106 View Post
My sister and I haven't gotten along in years. I hate to say but I can't stand her that much. She is way too bossy, she takes things the wrong and acts like she can do no wrong and for the past few years my parents have been blaming me for us not being close when it is more her fault.

For Thanksgiving, I was busy with online class that I'm taking towards my MBA. So I decided to not go to my sister's for Thanksgiving because she lives two hours away. My parents live in the same area as me and they also decided not to go to her house for Thanksgiving because my dad was doing some volunteer the day after Thanksgiving. She and her son ended up coming over to my parents and later on she told some relatives that my parents are always bending over backwards for me and the never do enough for her. My parents do more for her than they do for me. My sister has a college degree and she has never made use of it. Her ex-boyfriend who is the father of her child is a jerk sometimes doesn't give her child support so whenever she needs money she goes to my parents and my parents almost considered buying her house while she was with her ex. Since I heard what she told others about Thanksgiving. I honestly don't feel like spending Christmas with her and my parents.

I feel bad in a way that we aren't close because one of our older brothers died years ago and other brother is estranged from us. I can't stand her at all and sometimes I don't want to be around her or her son.

I guess this is a vent thread I was wondering if there are others who dislike or can't stand being around their siblings and how do they cope with it.
It sounds like your parents have the worst of the deal. You're both grown women, and you're still doing sibling rivalry. Your parents have earned the right to bestow their money as they please.

Visit your parents for Christmas, make them happy, and bite your tongue when your sister annoys you. Some people on this forum have truly awful family members. It sounds like your sister is nothing worse than self-centered and immature. Prove that you're the grownup and people will eventually notice and respect you more.

For what it's worth, I've made an effort to keep at least a little civility within my family. My sister has been cut out of my parents' will, but at least they're still talking to each other.
Old 12-06-10, 10:01 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Originally Posted by Giantrobo View Post
"Blood is blood"

Eveyone says that when i mention that I'm not speaking to my family, siblings included.

But no one ever thinks that Blood is Blood MUST mean that the love and respect goes BOTH WAYS. Why is it no one ever tells the other side that "Blood is blood"?
This

My (older) sister was always a bit of a "princess". Her mentality is that the world revolves around her and her needs. She also has no sense of 'fairness' when it comes to helping out.

I could probably carry the thread into 10 pages on this

Trying to make it short, we actually got along well until I got married and had kids. What changed drastically when I had kids was my available free time and her not being able to understand I can't drop everything in my life and come to her house when her computer has a virus ZOMG she needs help with something, the world should stop until her problems are fixed.
Old 12-06-10, 10:09 AM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

<--- Only child.
Old 12-06-10, 01:37 PM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

I have (had) two brothers and two sisters.

Older sister died over 5 years ago. That's what my signature is referring to. We weren't terribly close ever because I didn't agree with some of the life decisions she made, and I kind of regret not being able to look past that every day.

Younger sister only lives around 5 miles away, if that, and we get along fine. We don't chum around or anything because she is still 10 years older than me, but we have no problems and really never have.

Older brother is 15 years older than I am. Obviously we never really even much lived together, so I was never super close with him. He's a retired Marine, so he never lived close to us and still doesn't. We talk on the phone occasionally.

Younger brother is only a year younger than I am and my only "true" sibling (3 older siblings are from a different father. I don't care, some do.). We fight at times but get along well and do a lot of things together since he lives even closer than my sister.
Old 12-06-10, 02:15 PM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Two brothers, two sisters. I'm really only kinda close to the brothers, and even then, one a bit more-so than the other. Blood may be blood, but it's not an auto-excuse to like someone (though here I'm referring to my dad, but same principle).
Old 12-06-10, 02:20 PM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Sometimes think of things as obligation make it a whole lot easier to deal with. Think of visiting your sister as a God given obligation for being born in this family, whether you like it or not. Schedule a time to see her and get together as if this is just something you have to do in the Holiday seasons. Then remind yourself to rethink this process while in the get together and see if you really still feels like an obligation or something that brings value to your life. You may be surprised with your answer comes January 2nd.
Old 12-06-10, 02:32 PM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Originally Posted by wendersfan View Post
<--- Only child.
Originally Posted by Lemmy View Post
< ----- Wishes he was.
After two more "accidents":

Old 12-06-10, 02:42 PM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Old 12-06-10, 02:47 PM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

youngest of five boys, I love all my brothers and wish I saw them more.

Am about to become a dad, but we're only having one, so I guess I'll never have to worry about this from the parent side.
Old 12-06-10, 02:51 PM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

I have one sister, five years younger than me. When we were kids, I couldn't stand her, didn't understand her, didn't want to have anything to do with her. Now that we've both grown up, we're very close and our whole family gets along very well.

Which I guess is my way of saying, why isn't the OP more like us?
Old 12-06-10, 02:52 PM
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Re: Disliking your sibling(s)

Originally Posted by Quake1028 View Post
Older sister died over 5 years ago. That's what my signature is referring to.
Sorry to hear that. I thought it was some sort of baseball reference all this time.

I'm the oldest of nine, and I get along with all of my brothers and sisters (four of each) reasonably well. (Some of their spouses are another story, and are often the cause of any conflicts.) All but two of us live in this area, and we get together with my parents for Sunday dinners at least twice a month.

I actually expect my relationships with some of them to get worse once my son is born. Unlike several of my siblings, I am going to discipline my child, teach him to respect adults, that sort of thing.

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