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School me on destination weddings

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School me on destination weddings

Old 10-24-10, 06:54 PM
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School me on destination weddings

In the very early stages of planning a destination wedding, and looking for any and all info, including where to have it, any tips, etc.

If we had a wedding locally, the guest list between family and friends would probably stretch to 200 or more (big families and lots of friends). Truthfully, we can't afford that and also don't want to be burdened with planning all that. But we DO want to be able to invite all these people. We don't want to agonize with "how good of a friend is this, do they make the short list?" type of stuff.

So, one thought is to plan a wedding at an all-inclusive resort somewhere. Everyone's food and drinks would already be paid for (by them, not us), the wedding and the honeymoon would be covered in one shot, and those who could make it would all share in an awesome vacation. Is there something we're missing? We're not going to pay for people to join us (we may try to help out with some of the nieces and nephews), and we know some people won't be able to make it, we can live with that. Any ideas of places, thoughts on our logic, things we haven't considered?

Another idea is to pick someplace, maybe a ski resort area. We'd probably have to get a local wedding planner, hopefully find a reasonable venue and affordable food vendor (think bbq), and have a very simple ceremony and reception in a beautiful spot, that didn't cost that much. Any ideas on this?

We do know that wherever we pick, it has to be reasonably accessible by plane, for everyone's sake.

Last edited by LurkerDan; 10-24-10 at 07:02 PM.
Old 10-24-10, 07:25 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

personally, i never got the idea of it. i mean, it's sort of a cop out by not being able to make the cut, in my opinion. i understand the financials of it, but you then push that burden onto your guests. not everyone might have the financial means to make it. but, it is your day, so do as you wish.

i assume when you mean ski resort, you mean in the off season when it's not winter, right? the wife and i considered that with our wedding, but the weather was far too unpredictable to do it. make sure you check weather patterns if you want, just to make sure it isn't historically a bad weather time.

the one thing i've also heard about destination weddings is that since people are flying somewhere, you will sort of feel obligated to continue hanging out with the guests, even though you may have planned on having that as your honeymoon. something to consider.
Old 10-24-10, 07:29 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

actually, by ski resort, we probably mean during ski season, but probably at the shoulder end of it, spring skiing. We live in snow country, so the possibility of bad weather doesn't deter us (that means powder!!!). But I'll admit this option is less appealing mostly because of the travel hassles for our guests. Off-season at a ski resort could work if there was still outdoor stuff to do.

As for hanging out with guests, I think we'd be ok with that. Plus, most people will not stick around a lot of days after the wedding, I expect.

ETA: we know that not everyone will be able to make it, and while that is too bad, we accept it. Truth is, for most of our families, even if we had it here "local", they would have to fly and get hotels, it would still be a destination for them. It's the local friends who might be screwed, but so far they are all for it!
Old 10-24-10, 07:34 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

I love the idea of a destination wedding, particularly because of the amount of stress and BS that comes from planning a local wedding. A lot of people like the Caribbean for destination weddings (St. Lucia, Bahamas, etc), though that is a hike from CO. Hawaii seems cliche and overpriced. I wonder if there are any good deals down in Mexico?
Old 10-24-10, 07:38 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

It seems like you want the appearance of inviting people, without the danger of them actually showing up. So perhaps make a list of all the troubles these unwanted people have, and then plan a place that would exclude them, without you having to. That way you look like the good guys and can still get gifts from them.

Something at a brewery would knock out the alcoholics
something at a lollipop factory would get rid of the diabetics
something at an exclusive country club would rule out blacks and maybe women (except those in the wedding party. i am sure they would make an exception for them).

So a wedding at a posh country club, that has a brewery and lollipop factory should do it.
Old 10-24-10, 07:39 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

It isn't that bad of a hike, a direct flight to Miami and off you go! The Dominican Republic is supposedly a good place.

I went to a wedding at Playa del Carmen, Frontier had a direct flight from Denver to Cancun.
Old 10-24-10, 07:42 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Originally Posted by Ropes Pierre View Post
It seems like you want the appearance of inviting people, without the danger of them actually showing up. So perhaps make a list of all the troubles these unwanted people have, and then plan a place that would exclude them, without you having to. That way you look like the good guys and can still get gifts from them.
Sorry that I gave that impression, it isn't true. I have a lot of very close friends and a big family that I love. I want them all there. The truth is, however, that I couldn't possibly pay for a 250 person wedding (except perhaps ramen in disposable bowls ). If we did it an all-inclusive resort, however, all 250 could show up and I'd be thrilled! Though I know they wouldn't all make it. Still, I would expect a lot to make the trip, and am looking forward to that!
Old 10-24-10, 07:45 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

I hear Iran is very lovely this time of year.
Old 10-24-10, 07:54 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

I got married on St. Thomas in June, but only invited a small group of close friends and family and had a reception when we got back. Cost us about $900 to get married on Magens Bay and included ceremony, champagne, admission to beach and a photographer. Enjoyed it immensely cause I told everyone before coming out that the ceremony was the only planned event; everything else was up to each person.

Only thing I hated was lugging that dam wedding dress through the airports.

But do you really expect 250 people to fly out somewhere for a wedding/vacation? Seems very highly unlikely.
Old 10-24-10, 08:00 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Get married in Amsterdam, that way when it's to to get divorced, you can claim you weren't lucid and get an annulment instead and keep all your shit.
Old 10-24-10, 08:01 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

no way do I expect 250 people to fly there, and I accept that some people who I really want there will not come. It would not, however, surprise me to see 75-100 people.

For ex., an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic cost $1000/pp, double occupancy, for a week, including plane ticket. I expect that a fair amount of friends and family will be able to manage that (and of course, they don't have to stay a week).

And we might choose the very small destination wedding and a reception when we get back, that's a possibility.

We're in the very early stages of this. My fiancee is pregnant, we're due in early Feb., and we're not even going to start planning in earnest until the Spring.
Old 10-24-10, 08:13 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Originally Posted by LurkerDan View Post
For ex., an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic cost $1000/pp, double occupancy, for a week, including plane ticket. I expect that a fair amount of friends and family will be able to manage that (and of course, they don't have to stay a week).
Dude, I'm there!!

I'd stay the week.

Old 10-24-10, 08:42 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Don't forget if you have it outside the US, give people enough notice to be sure they have their passports in order.
Old 10-24-10, 08:46 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Good tip, Tom. We are planning on lots of notice so people can save up and plan it as a vacation.
Old 10-24-10, 09:06 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Originally Posted by pedagogue View Post
Dude, I'm there!!

I'd stay the week.

Me too.

I fully expect an invite.
Old 10-24-10, 09:32 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

the mcrib is back. you could follow it around the country.
Old 10-24-10, 09:57 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Old 10-25-10, 01:07 AM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

My dad got remarried last year and the families went down to Acapulco, where they had rented a villa outside of the main part of the city (near Pie de la Questa). It was great because if you wanted to stay at the villa, it had a pool so you could just relax there, and if you wanted to go into town, it was a cheap cab ride. Plus, the villa they rented was owned by a Mexican family and the grandmother cooked all the meals, and she was a great cook. She made the best mole for the wedding dinner I've ever had.

When my folks got back, they did a nice reception dinner for all their friends who obviously didn't come to the wedding.
Old 10-25-10, 11:13 AM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

If it turns out the destination wedding isn't for you and you're looking to save money on a regular wedding reception, my wife and I did an appetizers-only reception from our caterer and everyone loved it. Veggie and fruit trays, chicken fingers, meatballs, fondue, etc. Cheaper and tasty.
Old 10-25-10, 11:18 AM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Originally Posted by dogmatica View Post
If it turns out the destination wedding isn't for you and you're looking to save money on a regular wedding reception, my wife and I did an appetizers-only reception from our caterer and everyone loved it. Veggie and fruit trays, chicken fingers, meatballs, fondue, etc. Cheaper and tasty.
That is still on the table, local wedding with very simple stuff.
Old 10-25-10, 02:47 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Originally Posted by LurkerDan View Post
In the very early stages of planning a destination wedding, and looking for any and all info, including where to have it, any tips, etc.

If we had a wedding locally, the guest list between family and friends would probably stretch to 200 or more (big families and lots of friends). Truthfully, we can't afford that and also don't want to be burdened with planning all that. But we DO want to be able to invite all these people. We don't want to agonize with "how good of a friend is this, do they make the short list?" type of stuff.

So, one thought is to plan a wedding at an all-inclusive resort somewhere. Everyone's food and drinks would already be paid for (by them, not us), the wedding and the honeymoon would be covered in one shot, and those who could make it would all share in an awesome vacation. Is there something we're missing? We're not going to pay for people to join us (we may try to help out with some of the nieces and nephews), and we know some people won't be able to make it, we can live with that. Any ideas of places, thoughts on our logic, things we haven't considered?

Another idea is to pick someplace, maybe a ski resort area. We'd probably have to get a local wedding planner, hopefully find a reasonable venue and affordable food vendor (think bbq), and have a very simple ceremony and reception in a beautiful spot, that didn't cost that much. Any ideas on this?

We do know that wherever we pick, it has to be reasonably accessible by plane, for everyone's sake.
Pick a spot that people would actually want to go, All-Inclusive Resorts are great, many times depending on how many guests are coming, you will get some nice things for the bride and groom.

Another idea is to have a reception with all the people from back home, Maybe some snacks, booze and a DJ. Sure it will cost some money, but you save a lot on most of the wedding stuff. This allows people to share in the joy with you guys..without having to spring 4k to fly somewhere.
Old 10-25-10, 04:50 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Originally Posted by LurkerDan View Post
That is still on the table, local wedding with very simple stuff.
This is what I'd go with. The evolution of weddings into extravaganzas costing tens of thousands of dollars is relatively recent. Schedule the wedding at around 2 or 3 in the afternoon and you skip over the usual mealtimes for guests. Give them some finger foods, punch, and cake, and call it good.

If you're bothered by the idea that some people might think you're being cheap, think of the old Liberace quote, "I cried all the way to the bank."
Old 10-25-10, 04:54 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

I don't want (nor can I afford) an extravagant event at all. However, I do want a big party.
Old 10-25-10, 05:00 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Originally Posted by LurkerDan View Post
I don't want (nor can I afford) an extravagant event at all. However, I do want a big party.
I can understand that. I'm just saying that by having the big party during a time when people wouldn't normally be eating lunch or dinner, you will save a lot of money. The dinner-dance type wedding that has the bridal industry in a stranglehold right now is as tacky and boring as the strapless bouffant-skirted wedding gown is getting to be. Dare to be different!

P.S. If you need someone to come and howl "O Promise Me," my soloist rates for Otters are quite reasonable.
Old 10-25-10, 05:27 PM
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Re: School me on destination weddings

Vegas is the place, and everybody will come for a trip to Vegas

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