Go Back  DVD Talk Forum > General Discussions > Other Talk
Reload this Page >

Online dating experiences?

Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

Online dating experiences?

Old 03-21-10, 10:17 PM
  #26  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
MBoyd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 1999
Location: AUSTIN - Land of Mexican Coke
Posts: 3,920
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

I wonder how many DVDTalkers met their wife/husband online?

I dated a bunch of girls from online starting around 2000. Only got serious with 2 online girls, 7 years apart and they were both on other continents. One of those was in Barcelona and she read my Seinfeld Spec online and we began a correspondence that turned into a couple of extended visits. Then we broke up.

I met my Chinese wife from HotOrNot.com in 2007 after dating MANY local girls over that 7 years from the website, mainly because it was cheap. And so were the women.

Meeting you mate online is pretty normal now. I can't imagine anyone being shocked by it these days at least in the U.S. My wife initially told her non-English speaking parents I was introduced to her by one of her clients from the U.S. After they decided they liked me, she told them the truth.

But I will admit I was a little shocked by stories of meeting women online back in 1995. I even drove up to Kansas City to see what the hell was up with one of my best friends who had shacked up with a girl he met on some strange beast of the time called AOL. All was fine, and they remain married today.
Old 03-21-10, 11:06 PM
  #27  
DVD Talk Hero
Thread Starter
 
PopcornTreeCt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 25,916
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by LurkerDan View Post
My last two gf's came from match. I have had good experiences with match, but I think one thing that people forget is that it is still just dating. If you suck at dating, are boring when you first meet people, don't know how to project confidence, etc., match isn't going to work any better than a bar.
I think I must suck at dating. I've e-mailed at least 20 girls with no luck.
Old 03-21-10, 11:19 PM
  #28  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 15,556
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by PopcornTreeCt View Post
I think I must suck at dating. I've e-mailed at least 20 girls with no luck.
Save the cock pictures till at least the 3rd email.
Old 03-22-10, 05:48 AM
  #29  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
Vipper II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Abingdon, MD
Posts: 3,198
Likes: 0
Received 3 Likes on 3 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by PopcornTreeCt View Post
I think I must suck at dating. I've e-mailed at least 20 girls with no luck.
That's one of the two biggest pains in the ass about the online thing. First, you pay your money and take the time and effort to contact a few girls, but get absolutely nothing in return. After a while, you begin to wonder if it's you. That leads right into the second one - on Match.com and a few other sites, you have to be a paying member before you can even read an email. Oh, sure, you'll see that you got one, but they're going to hide it and the sender from you until you've forked over the 30-some bucks. So, out of those 20 girls you've contacted, methinks a good portion of them didn't want to pay money, especially if they only received ONE message. Or, they're just bitches who don't have the common courtesy to throw you a "no, thank you."
Old 03-22-10, 07:20 AM
  #30  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Dr. Henry Jones, Jr.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: My Car
Posts: 6,752
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Eharmony is awesome if you want to marry a nurse or a teacher.
Old 03-22-10, 04:22 PM
  #31  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Earth
Posts: 5,865
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Match is pretty good I've had probably dates with probably about 20 women from there in the past 1 1/2 to 2 years. Some good, some bad but very few were really bad. I found the problem is that you often go through the emails/talk on phone/meet up which takes quite a while only to find within the first 10-15 minutes of being out that you aren't into them. Sometimes you can sense it on the phone but not always. It's kind of a pain because in a more traditional setting (bar, party, friend of a friend, etc), you'd know within the first five minutes if you had any sort of connection with the person.

Still I recommend it, but I wouldn't rely on it as your only source of meeting women. It's good because you can meet people you wouldn't otherwise have met but it's also a bit of a double edged sword in that way as there may be a very good reason you wouldn't have otherwise met them.

Oh and ditto on the nurse/teacher comment. TONS of them on there mostly because they don't meet a lot of single guys in their age bracket through work like regular office workers do.
Old 03-22-10, 05:41 PM
  #32  
DVD Talk Legend
 
LurkerDan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The People's Republic of Boulder
Posts: 22,205
Received 20 Likes on 16 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by PopcornTreeCt View Post
I think I must suck at dating. I've e-mailed at least 20 girls with no luck.
Ok, my gut says a few things.

1) Your profile may suck. Have friends -- especially female friends if you have any -- critique it. The profile matters. A lot.
2) Maybe you are emailing non-current members. Don't bother with anyone who has not been active in the past week, at most two weeks. Longer than that and they are either not a paying member or are in a relationship of some kind.
3) You are shooting way out of your league. Online dating is just like life, if you're 100 pounds overweight, the woman who looks like a model may not be interested.
4) You are just firing emails at any chick who looks attractive to you. This may seem like an ok thing to do, but the reality is, they are going to look at your profile and if there doesn't seem to be anything in common, they are going to wonder why you emailed them.
5) Maybe your initial email is weird. An initial email doesn't need to be anything more than "hey, liked your profile, it looks like we may have a lot in common. Take a look at mine and give a shout." I have written longer emails, but my experience is that they are more likely to lead to rejection.

So, a few questions. have you looked at the "who's viewed my profile" part? Are the chicks you're emailing looking at your profile (if not, it's probably because of #2). Are there others who are looking? That might be a decent source of prospects, a chick who took a peak at your profile might be interested. Also, have you looked at the "who's favorited me?" link? Even stronger prospects there. Have you favorited anyone? I found that I favorited women who looked like prospects, but didn't have time to email all those I favorited. But some of those women clearly saw that I had done so, then winked at me.

Originally Posted by Cardiff Giant11 View Post
Match is pretty good I've had probably dates with probably about 20 women from there in the past 1 1/2 to 2 years. Some good, some bad but very few were really bad. I found the problem is that you often go through the emails/talk on phone/meet up which takes quite a while only to find within the first 10-15 minutes of being out that you aren't into them. Sometimes you can sense it on the phone but not always. It's kind of a pain because in a more traditional setting (bar, party, friend of a friend, etc), you'd know within the first five minutes if you had any sort of connection with the person.
I always appreciated the chicks who didn't want to email forever, and wanted to just meet for drinks right away. But I played the email game if that is what they wanted.

Last edited by LurkerDan; 03-22-10 at 06:55 PM.
Old 03-22-10, 07:05 PM
  #33  
DVD Talk Godfather
 
Giantrobo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: South Bay
Posts: 57,850
Received 33 Likes on 23 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

This young Brazilian guy I work with was trying to convince me to try an Online Dating site just the other day.
Old 03-22-10, 08:28 PM
  #34  
DVD Talk Hero
Thread Starter
 
PopcornTreeCt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 25,916
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by LurkerDan View Post
Ok, my gut says a few things.

1) Your profile may suck. Have friends -- especially female friends if you have any -- critique it. The profile matters. A lot.
2) Maybe you are emailing non-current members. Don't bother with anyone who has not been active in the past week, at most two weeks. Longer than that and they are either not a paying member or are in a relationship of some kind.
3) You are shooting way out of your league. Online dating is just like life, if you're 100 pounds overweight, the woman who looks like a model may not be interested.
4) You are just firing emails at any chick who looks attractive to you. This may seem like an ok thing to do, but the reality is, they are going to look at your profile and if there doesn't seem to be anything in common, they are going to wonder why you emailed them.
5) Maybe your initial email is weird. An initial email doesn't need to be anything more than "hey, liked your profile, it looks like we may have a lot in common. Take a look at mine and give a shout." I have written longer emails, but my experience is that they are more likely to lead to rejection.
Perhaps my e-mails are weird. I've actually waited to e-mail women after they saw my profile so it's not out of league... at least I don't think so. But then it could also be my profile.

I'm definitely not just firing e-mails at random girls. But maybe I need to just write short e-mails instead of longer ones. I thought mentioning stuff in their profile and why you have that in common with them was a good idea... perhaps not.
Old 03-22-10, 08:43 PM
  #35  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 6,559
Likes: 0
Received 21 Likes on 6 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

I met my fiancee on Friendster in 2004 and we're getting married in July. From 2002 - 2004, I went on quite a few dates with people I met online. The ones from dating sites always sucked and were one-and-dones. I had a lot more luck with social networking sites, just looking for people with the same interests in movies, music, hobbies, etc.
Old 03-22-10, 08:48 PM
  #36  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Sean O'Hara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Vichy America
Posts: 13,535
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by pedagogue View Post
Match.com. This service seems to be an excuse for people who go to bars every weekend to still say they are "serious" about dating. I can't tell you how many women I saw online that I later saw at the bars. There were times I could remember their screen names, but I was too nice to mention it. I went out on two separate occasions with women where we later realized we had hooked up before......awkward!

Well, wait, doesn't Match.com filter results to show you people who are good matches for you? Apparently you like slutty bar chicks, so it's showing you slutty bar chicks. The fact that it's identifying women you've already hooked up with is a sign that it's working. There are probably tons of granola girls who write poetry about dolphins on Match.com, but the system knows they aren't for you.
Old 03-22-10, 09:07 PM
  #37  
DVD Talk Legend
 
LurkerDan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The People's Republic of Boulder
Posts: 22,205
Received 20 Likes on 16 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by PopcornTreeCt View Post
I'm definitely not just firing e-mails at random girls. But maybe I need to just write short e-mails instead of longer ones. I thought mentioning stuff in their profile and why you have that in common with them was a good idea... perhaps not.
It's hard to know, they don't write back to tell you why they aren't writing back. But I too used think what you thought, but IME it doesn't really increase your odds of getting a response. So now I follow the line of thought (or did before I met my gf) that if something really struck me in their profile, I'd mention it, but otherwise just a quick email. If your profile isn't good enough to get them to respond, a detailed email won't help.
Old 03-22-10, 09:30 PM
  #38  
Li
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 978
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

I've been using PoF for a couple months and have met some really cool people. My real problem is, I graduated a year ago and am currently struggling to find a position I can turn into a career. I assume part of the problem is the economy, but who knows for sure.
I wasted most of my savings surviving while trying to build a place at an insurance company, which, like he majority of those whom are drawn into those positions being told it's "a really great opportunity", did work out. Who wants anything to do with someone who's struggling financially at the moment? It's something I don't come right out and admit, and it keeps me from really going forward with meeting people I'm interested in in person.
I may just have to wait until things become more stable before I'll start to feel comfortable dating again.
Old 03-22-10, 09:46 PM
  #39  
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
 
Osiris3657's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 8,527
Received 9 Likes on 7 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Another piece of advice: Always make sure they have multiple pictures, some of which are fairly recent (month or two), and full body shots. If they have only face shots from strange angles they are more than likely an internet fattie.
Old 03-22-10, 09:49 PM
  #40  
DVD Talk Hero
Thread Starter
 
PopcornTreeCt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 25,916
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by LurkerDan View Post
It's hard to know, they don't write back to tell you why they aren't writing back. But I too used think what you thought, but IME it doesn't really increase your odds of getting a response. So now I follow the line of thought (or did before I met my gf) that if something really struck me in their profile, I'd mention it, but otherwise just a quick email. If your profile isn't good enough to get them to respond, a detailed email won't help.
Your method worked. I shot off a quick short e-mail and now I'm chatting with someone. Awesome.
Old 03-22-10, 09:59 PM
  #41  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Earth
Posts: 5,865
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by LurkerDan View Post


I always appreciated the chicks who didn't want to email forever, and wanted to just meet for drinks right away. But I played the email game if that is what they wanted.
Agreed, I now go for like 2-3 emails then give my number in the email saying "maybe we can get together" and then go from there works much better and you don't waste as much time that way if it turns out you aren't into the person.

Also, 100% agreement on only going for women with multiple photos and full body shots. I had the experience of going out with one chick who while far from what I'd call fat, was definitely chunkier than her pictures led me to believe (plus her hair was dyed blonde and it was brown/black in all her photos) which was very jarring.
Old 03-23-10, 01:44 AM
  #42  
DVD Talk Special Edition
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,155
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by crankyman View Post
i met my wife online.

so yeah....i'd pretty much avoid it.
He's not kidding. I met his wife online too.

Seriously, I met my wife on Match almost 4 years ago and we've been married 2 1/2.
Old 03-23-10, 01:48 AM
  #43  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Sean O'Hara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Vichy America
Posts: 13,535
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Also, the first thing you should check is whether they have kids. If they do, they're probably looking for a guy to be their baby's daddy.

On the upside, at least you know they'll put out.

And keep in mind that passage from About a Boy about how being a single mom is a three point handicap on the hotness scale. You might be a complete schlub, but you can bag a mom who would be 8 or 9 otherwise.
Old 03-23-10, 02:19 AM
  #44  
DVD Talk Godfather
 
Giantrobo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: South Bay
Posts: 57,850
Received 33 Likes on 23 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by Sean O'Hara View Post
Also, the first thing you should check is whether they have kids. If they do, they're probably looking for a guy to be their baby's daddy.

On the upside, at least you know they'll put out.

And keep in mind that passage from About a Boy about how being a single mom is a three point handicap on the hotness scale. You might be a complete schlub, but you can bag a mom who would be 8 or 9 otherwise.

Old 03-23-10, 09:40 AM
  #45  
DVD Talk Hero
 
D.Pham4GLTE (>60GB)'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Stick out your tongue!
Posts: 39,383
Likes: 0
Received 3 Likes on 3 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by pedagogue View Post
1. J-Date. A female friend asked me to come with her to a young professional's mixer, and failed to mention it doubled as a J-Date function. Once a girl there learned I was a gentile, she got very short with me and said that she was only looking for "a Jewish man to marry", and she walked away. That happened multiple times that night, so I ended up talking with one of the servers. We both found the odds good but the goods odd, so we ditched and eventually had some gentile on gentile fun.
Old 03-23-10, 09:47 AM
  #46  
DVD Talk Hero
 
D.Pham4GLTE (>60GB)'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Stick out your tongue!
Posts: 39,383
Likes: 0
Received 3 Likes on 3 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by PopcornTreeCt View Post
I appreciate you guys giving me advice on IT... now I ask for online dating tips. I joined match.com and did meet a nice woman on there but we didn't have a strong connection. I haven't been on a date since her.

Do you guys have any recommendations?
Originally Posted by PopcornTreeCt View Post
Update...

No drama. We're broken up. We still talk and text occasionally. I'm hoping we'll be back together when she gets a divorce. I can wait it out.

Oh... she told me last week the crazy hubby brought home a wasted girl from a bar around 2 am. Don't know what to think of that.


why don't you try calling the co-worker that you were dating before who was married with two young kids and lots of drama? or are you no longer waiting for her to get a divorce?

or wait, was this last "nice" woman the one you talked about before?

Originally Posted by PopcornTreeCt View Post
Hey guys, wanted to provide an update of sorts.

I'm dating a new girl. (Not married, no kids)

She's fucking another guy from work. Apparently, I wasn't the first guy she cheated on her husband with and not the last either. We still have to work together which totally sucks. She's still married too.
Old 03-23-10, 10:39 AM
  #47  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
squidget's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: NoVA
Posts: 3,464
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Re: Online dating experiences?

+1 for okcupid. I used the site for quite a few dates and met my current BF on there. The populous of that site matches more for the kind of guys I'm interested in then yahoo personals or match. Also the site is free.

Even if you don't try to the site you should check their trends page; http://blog.okcupid.com/
Like this article
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/20...file-pictures/
Old 03-23-10, 02:58 PM
  #48  
DVD Talk Legend
 
cungar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 21,968
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Re: Online dating experiences?

NSFW:
Old 03-23-10, 03:00 PM
  #49  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 14,806
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Re: Online dating experiences?

When Myspace first came to prominence, I hooked up with a few girls from there. I dated one for around 2 years.

I'll probably never do it again. I'd rather meet girls in person.
Old 03-23-10, 03:04 PM
  #50  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 25,062
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Re: Online dating experiences?

Originally Posted by tasha99 View Post
Facialbook. I'm dating my best friend from 20 years ago.
Kinky.

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.