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Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

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Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Old 05-25-10, 04:55 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
Got a reply saying she has to work tonight and cant go out. I dont wanna come off as bugging her so when should i try asking her out again? I should've asked when she'd be available to go out in my original message. I know she's looking for a boyfriend since she updated her wall yesterday with: "I'm tired of being single!"
How about responding with "How about tomorrow? Or some other night?" If she's interested, she'll volunteer a free night.
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Old 05-25-10, 04:55 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Honestly go on the date with the assumption that it will not work out. Then you will not be as nervous and it will probably work out for you.
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Old 05-26-10, 07:07 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
Got a reply saying she has to work tonight and cant go out. I dont wanna come off as bugging her so when should i try asking her out again? I should've asked when she'd be available to go out in my original message. I know she's looking for a boyfriend since she updated her wall yesterday with: "I'm tired of being single!"
Depends, what did you say in the message and what did she say back? If it was just "I gotta work" than thats bad. But if there was an apology or so that may be better.
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Old 05-26-10, 07:36 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
Got a reply saying she has to work tonight and cant go out. I dont wanna come off as bugging her so when should i try asking her out again? I should've asked when she'd be available to go out in my original message. I know she's looking for a boyfriend since she updated her wall yesterday with: "I'm tired of being single!"
Don't ask at all. If she's interested...she'll call you. You don't want to be available.
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Old 05-26-10, 07:39 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by Ravenous View Post
Depends, what did you say in the message and what did she say back? If it was just "I gotta work" than thats bad. But if there was an apology or so that may be better.
'Hey What are you up to tonight? I was planning on going out and was wondering if you'd like to grab a drink or something with me?'

'I can't tonight I am working. Sorry. '

Okay. How about some other night? Don't work too hard.
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Old 05-26-10, 08:11 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
'Hey What are you up to tonight? I was planning on going out and was wondering if you'd like to grab a drink or something with me?'

'I can't tonight I am working. Sorry. '

Okay. How about some other night? Don't work too hard.
So how did she respond to your asking about some other night? If nothing yet, move on.
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Old 05-26-10, 08:25 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

No response Oh well. I'm moving on and not gonna get hung up on her. Maybe in the future something may develop but for now will stop posting messages to her. I've been posting body progress photos on my wall so maybe one day she'll see how hot i've gotten and wont be able to resist me
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Old 05-27-10, 12:17 AM
  #258  
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

JFC, you're posting body progress photos on your wall that she can see? And you're wondering why she may not respond?

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. If you want to post shit like that, either change your privacy settings or better yet, don't friend anyone you're interested in.
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Old 05-27-10, 12:46 AM
  #259  
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

I just wanted to comment on the girl's response: "'I can't tonight I am working. Sorry. '" Okay, so this really means "Don't ever ask me again" Her message was very short, direct and to the point. She didn't even mean to write "Sorry" but added it there after re-reading what she wrote.
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Old 05-27-10, 02:07 AM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
I've been posting body progress photos on my wall
Sounds like a bad idea to me. Save your updates for forums like this one. In fact be minimal with everything on facebook. The most I would even share is "i'm meeting my goals at the gym" or something like that.

Just take everything questionable off it (and myspace if you have one).

Edit: Read back a little further... you're really shooting yourself in the foot with facebook. Don't post anything more than once or twice a wk, seriously.

Last edited by Artman; 05-27-10 at 02:14 AM.
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Old 05-27-10, 12:33 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by LurkerDan View Post
JFC, you're posting body progress photos on your wall that she can see? And you're wondering why she may not respond?

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. If you want to post shit like that, either change your privacy settings or better yet, don't friend anyone you're interested in.

I only post a picture once a month and that was a day after she sent the final message. I doubt she even saw the photo since she has over 250 'friends'.

Why does it matter anyways? She's not interested in Dating me so i dont care if she sees my posts or not.

What i dont get is she writes on her wall that she's tired of being single yet when someone asks her out on a date she doesn't want to go out? Why did she even give me her facebook if she wasnt interested in the first place? Just say you have a boyfriend.
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Old 05-27-10, 12:55 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
I only post a picture once a month and that was a day after she sent the final message. I doubt she even saw the photo since she has over 250 'friends'.

Why does it matter anyways? She's not interested in Dating me so i dont care if she sees my posts or not.
It's like going on your first date and telling her your life story. They don't want that. Just give them the glossy surface.
What i dont get is she writes on her wall that she's tired of being single yet when someone asks her out on a date she doesn't want to go out? Why did she even give me her facebook if she wasnt interested in the first place? Just say you have a boyfriend.
Because it strokes their ego until the right/wrong guy shows up.
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Old 05-27-10, 02:36 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
I only post a picture once a month and that was a day after she sent the final message. I doubt she even saw the photo since she has over 250 'friends'.

Why does it matter anyways? She's not interested in Dating me so i dont care if she sees my posts or not.
Maybe she didn't see the photo, but that isn't the point, I'm not talking specifically about her. If you become FB friends with someone that you are interested in, you are going to poke around their profile to see what's in there. Thus, as a general matter, you shouldn't have stuff like that viewable to someone who you might be interested in.

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
What i dont get is she writes on her wall that she's tired of being single yet when someone asks her out on a date she doesn't want to go out? Why did she even give me her facebook if she wasnt interested in the first place? Just say you have a boyfriend.
If you are single and looking, does that mean you would say yes if a 60 year old, 450 pound woman asked you on a date? She is single and looking because she's tired of being single, but that doesn't mean she will suddenly go out with anyone who asks her out. As for why she gave you her FB profile, who knows? Maybe she thought you seemed cool, and it was a non-threatening way to find out more. Maybe she doesn't like saying "no" and doesn't like lying. You will kill yourself if you worry about these details, you will never know and you just have to accept that.
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Old 05-27-10, 02:37 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
What i dont get is she writes on her wall that she's tired of being single yet when someone asks her out on a date she doesn't want to go out? Why did she even give me her facebook if she wasnt interested in the first place? Just say you have a boyfriend.
If someone is hungry it doesn't mean they will eat anything you put in front of them. For whatever reason you didn't flip her switch. Stop worrying about her motivations and take a look at why you didn't flip her switch.

A woman giving you her Facebook when you ask for her number is her polite way of saying "No". Much easier to ignore/ blow off someone on-line.
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Old 05-28-10, 06:23 AM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by mhg83 View Post
'Hey What are you up to tonight? I was planning on going out and was wondering if you'd like to grab a drink or something with me?'

'I can't tonight I am working. Sorry. '

Okay. How about some other night? Don't work too hard.
Yea thats a very cold reply, for the same reasons posted above. I say move on and MAYBE try again some other time. Did you meet her at a bookstore you frequent? Next time youre there (wait a month at least), see if its all weird between you 2, if not, try again some other time.

Girls are finicky, Freud said the one thing he can never understand is a woman.
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Old 05-28-10, 06:59 AM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

As W.C. Fields wisely said,

"If you fail, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damned fool about it."
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Old 05-28-10, 11:01 AM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by DaveyJoe View Post
Are you surprised that a Mike's Hard got him buzzed? It's just as alcoholic as the average beer, higher than some. Plus he doesn't drink much, so I don't understand your question.
I can understand how a Mike's Hard Lemonade could get someone buzzed...if they were a 90 lb. asian girl.
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Old 05-28-10, 11:53 AM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Originally Posted by Tarantino View Post
I can understand how a Mike's Hard Lemonade could get someone buzzed...if they were a 90 lb. asian girl.
Asians get drunk faster than other races?
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Old 05-28-10, 05:13 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Proven fact.
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Old 05-29-10, 04:32 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

sorry to hijack this thread but just had to interject...

I have bagged myself my first white chick! yay for me!!



that is all...
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Old 05-29-10, 04:38 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

^ Even after getting plastered on one Zima?
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Old 05-29-10, 06:41 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Just reading through some of these posts... I'm not sure how I'd handle the whole FB "thing." On the one hand, it seems weird to "friend" a potential date on FB only for the sake of communicating (wouldn't a cell number be much less risky for everyone involved? Wouldn't it be awkward to be stuck as FB friends with someone who you "asked out" on FB, but ran into a quick dead end?). Early on, I'd want to hold my cards close to the vest, so I'm not sure that's something I'd even want to do until there was at least a date. Recalling the good old days before FB, the internets, before cell phones and texting, it seems like it's a much higher stress deal now, given the amount of stuff you can instantly find out about someone. I'd never volunteer to a potential date my FB info without really weeding through it. Even then, it doesn't always work very well (I know several people in new relationships, and it seems all are super paranoid about one thing or another in their new SO's FB profile).

I know a bunch of people who've done pretty well on Match. At least when you look at a profile there, it's with the sole point and purpose of wanting to go on a date (I'm not suggesting you give a "real life" potential date your Match info but like I said, I've heard a number of successful stories from people who've used the site. Heard some shitty things too, like a client of mine who said that he felt that some women just use it to get a nice first date dinner).

Last edited by Dave7393; 05-29-10 at 06:43 PM.
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Old 05-30-10, 01:57 AM
  #273  
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Had a fun night out at a party. This was the same house where they had a co-workers party. The woman that seemed more interested in me showed up later in the evening. She actually remembered my name which was weird since it's been about a month and i didn't really talk to her much She sat alone and we invited her over by our table and decided to sit next to me. She wasn't gonna drink saying "I'll just watch everyone get drunk" I told her i was gonna have a shot and she then agreed to drink with me. We ended up having three shots of Grey Goose together. For the rest of the night we talked about various subjects. At the end of the night she was leaving and signaled me to come over. We hugged. I thought it was just a friendly hug but then she started rubbing my back and i proceeded to do the same. She said her goodbyes and waved goodbye to me.

And later on she texted the host of the party with:

'I fucking love Mike G! He's such a sweetheart'

Well i think she digs me. What do you guys think? I didn't get her number since we may go out as a group again next week.

Last edited by mhg83; 05-30-10 at 02:00 AM.
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Old 05-31-10, 05:21 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

One Mike's got you buzzed, and you took 3 shots of Grey Goose, huh? Well, it got you a hug, a back rub, and a chick bragging about you.

Drink a fifth of vodka next time.
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Old 05-31-10, 05:33 PM
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Re: Dating advice needed (1st date in 4 1/2 years!)

Try not to read too much into little stuff like that (looks, hugs, etc), for me it usually doesn't mean what I was thinking/hoping it would. But you're getting out there and having fun, that's the most important thing.
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