NotThatGuy

I figured instead of giving some, I'd ask random people on the internet for some!

So....what is your free personal advice to me?

TGM

always ask for an MRI and narcotics by name!

General Zod

Treat others how you would like to be treated - but expect them to treat you like crap anyhow.

NotThatGuy

bwvanh114

Dammit! Beat me to it!

bwvanh114

How do you get all the pussy? (Seriously)

grenier

Always wash your ass.

big whoppa

Some mothers say to always wear a clean pair of underwear.

crankyman

beer pong is for teenagers.

NotThatGuy

That makes me sad.

Nick Danger

Don't count your boobies before they're hatched.

glassdragon

Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn

Bandoman

Get regular colonoscopies.

TomOpus

Give irregular colonoscopies.

Th0r S1mpson

Be vigilant about terrorism.

gryffinmaster

Never accept a "lemon-flavored" snow cone from a friend, especially if alcohol has been involved.

crankyman

also, kickball is for little girls.

Groucho

Be courteous, kind and forgiving,
Be gentle and peaceful each day,
Be warm and human and grateful,
And have a good thing to say.

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
Be witty and happy and wise,
Be honest and love all your neighbors,
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
Criticize things you don't know about,
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
Put a live chicken in your underwear,
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.

crazyronin

mndtrp

Give more high fives to unsuspecting people.

Numanoid

Have a good time...all the time.

Jason

If someone asks you if you are a god, you say YES!

Dan

You gotta hit it to quit it.

NotThatGuy

Someone did that to me on Sat. night. I was walking out of a bar and a dude was like, "Gimme five!!" I had to oblige, I mean.....he was really enthusiastic about it.

DaveCole

Never take advice given on the internet.