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Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Old 04-09-09, 01:15 AM
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Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

http://www.nola.com/news/index.ssf/2...anger_che.html

Metairie man says stranger chewed, swallowed after taking bite out of his arm
by Michelle Hunter, The Times-Picayune

A Metairie resident is recovering after a stranger bit a chunk of flesh out of his arm and swallowed it Saturday afternoon.

Joseph Lancellotti, 67, told authorities he did not know the suspect, later identified as Mario Vargas, 48, or why he was attacked in his front yard.

Lancellotti was gardening at his home in the 4400 block of Kawanee Avenue about 2 p.m. when he noticed a man walking toward his house, shouting angrily, the report said. Lancellotti said he couldn't understand the man because he was yelling in Spanish. But when the man got within two feet, he slugged Lancellotti in the head, the report said.

Lancellotti said he tried to defend himself with a garden rake. As the men struggled over the rake, the stranger bent over and bit Lancellotti on his right forearm, the report said. Lancellotti's flesh ripped away as he fell to the ground. The man then got on top of Lancellotti and began choking him, the report said.

It was then that neighbor Chantal Lorio, a podiatrist and director of the Wound Center at East Jefferson General Hospital, came out to check on Lancellotti. Lorio said Monday that she first thought Lancellotti was having a heart attack and the other man was trying to help him.

The stranger was still gripping Lancellotti as Lorio noticed her neighbor was lying in a pool of blood. She didn't learn what happened until she began dressing the wound -- with the stranger still clutching her neighbor's shirt.

"He said, 'He bit my arm, chewed the flesh and swallowed it in front of me, ' " Lorio recalled. She said the bite measured almost 3 by 1 1/2 inches, and was less than 1/4-inch deep.

The pair tried to calm the stranger, who never made any attempt to run away. He eventually let go of Lancellotti and walked two blocks to a parking lot, where he hovered near an empty police car, the report said. The suspect was still standing there when deputies arrived and took him into custody.

Vargas, of 724 Camp St., New Orleans, was booked with second-degree battery. He was being held Monday at the Jefferson Parish Correctional Center in Gretna in lieu of $25,000 bail.

Lancellotti's wife, Bonnie, 60, said Monday that her husband was recovering from the bite, physically and mentally. She said his sense of safety in his neighborhood has been shaken.

With all the bacteria involved, Lorio said a bite from a human is worse than an animal bite.

Bonnie Lancellotti also has concerns about the suspect, who apparently had been treated at East Jefferson General Hospital earlier in the day for a finger injury. Vargas was released 45 minutes before the attack, according to the incident report.

Bonnie Lancellotti wondered whether hospital staff noticed anything amiss while treating Vargas. "This person's clearly lost his sense, " she said. "I mean, what else can you say, eating people's skin?"

Keith Darcey, spokesman for the hospital, said, "We cannot comment on any individual patient because of privacy laws. But as a matter of general hospital policy, the emergency department has behavioral health nurses available to help diagnose patients who might require mental health assistance."
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Old 04-09-09, 01:52 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

I've been reading as many of the Walking Dead comic books as I can fit into my busy life. So much so in fact I'm starting to drift off to sleep thinking about zombies.

... I promise it wasn't me guys. My Spanish sucks. "Me llamo es un zombiesto. Donde esta el yummy braino?"
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Old 04-09-09, 02:00 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Awesome.
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Old 04-09-09, 03:09 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

and so it begins...
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Old 04-09-09, 03:24 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

The Walking Dead...
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Old 04-09-09, 04:07 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

I have to take credit where credit is due.
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Old 04-09-09, 04:56 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Originally Posted by Navinabob View Post
I've been reading as many of the Walking Dead comic books as I can fit into my busy life. So much so in fact I'm starting to drift off to sleep thinking about zombies.
Zombie dreams are the best! I'd say that I have a 50/50 survival rate. Even when I die they're still bitchin'. And I wake up all excited and scared and ready to do stuff.
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Old 04-09-09, 05:27 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

He didn't eat Lancellotti's brains because he wasn't very hungry. He just dropped in for a quick bite.
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Old 04-09-09, 06:55 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Mmmmmm....tasty.
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Old 04-09-09, 07:16 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Was "White Lines" playing in the background?
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Old 04-09-09, 07:36 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Time to go barricade myself in the local gun shop.
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Old 04-09-09, 08:15 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Looks like I need to hit the mall today.
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Old 04-09-09, 09:08 AM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Originally Posted by Living Dead View Post
I have to take credit where credit is due.
Ok, I lol'd.

edit to add:
fail-owned-prep-win
see more pwn and owned pictures

Last edited by Kittydreamer; 04-09-09 at 09:15 AM.
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Old 04-09-09, 02:34 PM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

A Metairie resident is recovering after a stranger bit a chunk of flesh out of his arm and swallowed it Saturday afternoon.
Recovering....
Uh huh, right.

Never thought the zombie apocalypse would start so close to home!
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Old 04-09-09, 02:39 PM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Originally Posted by troystiffler View Post
Zombie dreams are the best! I'd say that I have a 50/50 survival rate. Even when I die they're still bitchin'. And I wake up all excited and scared and ready to do stuff.
I had a dream about eating zombie babies once. Even though they'd been cooked, they were still crawling off my plate. I woke up in a panic, that was the most freaked out I've ever been by a dream.
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Old 04-09-09, 04:24 PM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Didn't that guy know you have to 'brain' zombies with garden tools as soon as they come out of the door?
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Old 04-09-09, 05:35 PM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Originally Posted by troystiffler View Post
Zombie dreams are the best! I'd say that I have a 50/50 survival rate. Even when I die they're still bitchin'. And I wake up all excited and scared and ready to do stuff.

The cool part is waking up and realizing it was just a dream....
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Old 04-09-09, 06:02 PM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

shotgun...check.

machete...check.

crowbar...check.

Bring it on, undead bitches!
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Old 04-09-09, 06:14 PM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Originally Posted by crazyronin View Post
shotgun...check.

machete...check.

crowbar...check.

Bring it on, undead bitches!

yeah ah gots to gets me a Machete.

Don't know why this guy took a pic next to a couple turds but ok...

Last edited by Giantrobo; 04-09-09 at 06:17 PM.
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Old 04-09-09, 11:48 PM
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Re: Gah!!!! The zombie uprising is upon us!

Those are pine tree turds

-Gunshy
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Old 04-10-09, 12:00 AM
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