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Should I just give up on dating? Part 2: A New Hope

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Should I just give up on dating? Part 2: A New Hope

Old 08-24-08, 11:03 AM
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Should I just give up on dating? Part 2: A New Hope

http://forum.dvdtalk.com/showthread.php?t=375225&page=7

So back in April I appoarched a girl which I posted about in the first thread at post #249. For about the past month now we have become friends, mostly just email and texting each other as she works two jobs and is very busy. In the past week there have been two times when we were supposed to get together and hang out but things fell through.

There was something that I wanted to asked about when I got a chance to see her in person but I had no idea when that would happen. It was really weighing on me so thusday while siting at home waiting for tropical storm Fay to leave I sent her a text. I asked her if she didn't have a boyfriend when I had approached her in April if I would have gotten the same response, she replied maybe not!

As it stands now she said she is not looking to date anyone as she is still living with her ex and it is not a good time for her to be dating. She has said that she wants to get to know me better. I have told her that at some point we would need to talk about my past with women, not sure how well that is going to go over. One other thing I need to mention is that she is over ten years younger then me.

So advice on how not to screw this up?
Old 08-24-08, 11:11 AM
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Be patient with this girl and if things pan out, they pan out. In the meanwhile continue chatting up other girls and try to date them.
Old 08-24-08, 11:46 AM
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Go to her house and have a "talk" with the ex. Carry an ax.
Old 08-24-08, 11:53 AM
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Honestly, it is past the "not screw it up" point. I would say she already has you in "the friend zone". And pulling yourself out of that is damn near impossible. She thinks she is being nice by saying, "I am very busy", "I am not ready to date" and "let's get to know each other better".

There is a pretty good/funny book called "He's Just not that into you". It is written for a female audience, but the premise applies to everyone. If she was interested in you romantically she would make time, she would be ready to date and would be getting to know you better while dating you.
Old 08-24-08, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by jiffy97 View Post
If she was interested in you romantically she would make time, she would be ready to date and would be getting to know you better while dating you.
This is, in a word, bullshit. It is certainly possible for someone just out of a relationship (and still living with their ex!) to not be ready to date.

That said, when she is ready to date, I don't think it's likely that it's going to be the OP.
Old 08-24-08, 12:21 PM
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Friend zone!!!

Also, yes, you should stop dating.






Old 08-24-08, 12:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Tracer Bullet View Post
This is, in a word, bullshit. It is certainly possible for someone just out of a relationship (and still living with their ex!) to not be ready to date.

That said, when she is ready to date, I don't think it's likely that it's going to be the OP.
Seems like you are picking nits to get to the same point. She isn't interested in the OP in a romantic sense.
Old 08-24-08, 02:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Rockmjd23 View Post
Things don't fall through when girls are interested.
Meaning yes.

Meaning she is still sleeping with her ex.

Meaning back off.
Bad move.

Too late.

But seriously, good luck!
Agree with all the above !

If a woman wants to be with you, she will be with you. Otherwise she's just playing games or doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
Old 08-24-08, 03:21 PM
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Wow way to bring me down fellas.
Old 08-24-08, 03:33 PM
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This is easy. There is nothing to explain to her about your past with girls unless you got some STD or something. She is probably still with her ex and is either going to try to hook up something where she sees you and you pay for dinner and buy her gifts or she is waiting to find the next guy before cutting things with her current one. Another option is she is saying its not a good time for her to be dating as she has no interest in you. The fact that you have been courting a girl for this long of a period without seeing anyone else easily identifies you as desperate. This girl is 10 years younger than you, you dont have much in common other than you want to bang her and she doesnt want to bang you. Date other girls and if her situation becomes better then date her too, if she will that is and doesnt keep giving you the run around and keeping you in the dark.
Old 08-24-08, 03:45 PM
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I concur w/ Rockmjd23 and CK - this chick isn't interested in you.
Old 08-24-08, 03:49 PM
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The truth is she is simply shutting you down in a nice way. You need to just get the idea out of your head and move on, she's given what should be obvious clues.
Old 08-24-08, 04:12 PM
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As someone who's been in a few similar situations, I can definitely tell you that she's stringing you along and has no intentions of wanting to get to know you better. Cut the cord and move on.
Old 08-24-08, 04:27 PM
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have told her that at some point we would need to talk about my past with women
Then she looked out her car to the right.
<img src=http://images.beijing2008.cn/20070524/Img214081915.jpg>
Old 08-24-08, 04:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Graftenberg
I have told her that at some point we would need to talk about my past with women, not sure how well that is going to go over.
Why bring that up?
Old 08-24-08, 04:37 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave View Post
Then she looked out her car to the right.
<img src=http://images.beijing2008.cn/20070524/Img214081915.jpg>
Old 08-24-08, 04:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Graftenberg View Post
Wow way to bring me down fellas.
No reason this should bring you down. There are literally millions of women out there just waiting to be woo-ed.
Old 08-24-08, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Rockmjd23 View Post
What exactly is your past with women, if I may ask? I've had a lot of bad luck in the past, but nothing I felt the need to bring up to potential gfs or the current gf.
Picture of the OP:

Old 08-24-08, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Graftenberg View Post
Wow way to bring me down fellas.
hate message not the messengers

she aint interested

if she wanted you, she wouldnt care if she was living with her ex, shed be banging you rgardless. she doesnt wanna know you at all, if she did then shed be going out with you to get to know you.
Old 08-24-08, 08:28 PM
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Why, <i>WHY</i>, would you say that you need to talk about your past with women? This is definitely a fools move (and one that, unfortunately, we all make when we're younger, but most learn never to give the information unless it's really, really needed i.e. they won't stop bugging you about it).

= J
Old 08-24-08, 08:38 PM
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So advice on how not to screw this up?

Well, I certainly wouldn't say anything that indicates that you have a spotty history with women.

Originally Posted by Graftenberg View Post
I have told her that at some point we would need to talk about my past with women, not sure how well that is going to go over.
Ohhhhhh
Old 08-24-08, 08:46 PM
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My friend lives with his "ex", he does this because he is on the lease until end of october. Yes he still bones her...often
Old 08-24-08, 08:56 PM
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Yeah, she's definitely getting drilled by her ex.

= J
Old 08-24-08, 09:23 PM
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Looks like game over...shes not willing to date right now, she is still living with the ex..and plans fell through.

Its over.

Oh, and talking about your past ex girlfriends, also not a good move.
Old 08-24-08, 10:25 PM
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make sure you also tell her about your financial troubles, sketchy family, and your inability to trust anyone

prospective girlfriends enjoy full disclosure

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