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Creeepiest Guy Ever?

Old 08-19-08, 04:22 PM
  #76  
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Originally Posted by waporvare View Post
Well, reading between the lines she either advocates child molestation, which I doubt, or she is saying someone can survive child molestation and become a better person, or she has a relative or someone close to her that was accused of child molestation.

I don't need to investigate the facts. The word "obviously" may have been a bit much in that context so allow me to rephrase it for you. She obviously has a deep seeded emotional response on the subject matter which most likely is based on something that occurred in her life at some point.

So, let's forget her for a moment.

I don't believe a child ever gets over being molested. I believe they learn to adapt, survive, move on, and if they are fortunate find a way to trust and love someone without hang ups. But those memories never just go away. I should know, I was molested as a child.

As for not pestering pedophiles because they did their time in prison. Well, I work in prisons, child molesters may as well have the plague there. No matter the race, gang affiliation, or age, all inmates hate them. There's no way in hell I would want one near my home, but there are some close by, and that bothers me, because I have a daughter. And if there was one near me that screamed to the high hills that it should be legal, and wrote books to that fact, they would be run out of the county if not killed outright where I live.

And anyone that would take up for someone like that has issues. So you'll excuse me if I don't kowtow to your PG view of the world and acquiesce to her views of child molesters and victims.
I'm sorry to hear you were molested as a child...that really sucks, but what makes you think that being molested is the worst possible thing that could have happened to you or any other child?

Is being molested worse than being tortured? Is being molested worse than watching both of you parents get murdered? Is being molested worse than being the sole survivor of an airplane crash? I don't know.

I'm just saying there are many many terrible things that can happen to a child and most children grow up to be perfectly normal adults whether or not they were molested or whether or not something else terrible happened to them.
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Old 08-19-08, 04:36 PM
  #77  
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nobody is debating that torture, murder, rape, suicide as a child is worse than being molested except you.

and you must have missed the part that you quoted where he stated that he believes they learn to adapt and move on, but that it just never goes away.
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Old 08-19-08, 04:37 PM
  #78  
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Originally Posted by The Infidel View Post
Not to change the subject too drastically, but in keeping with the basic question of the thread title, I'd like to nominate this guy as creepiest ever:

Incorrect.

Peter Pan, FTW . . .

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Old 08-19-08, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted by whoopdido View Post
I'm sorry to hear you were molested as a child...that really sucks, but what makes you think that being molested is the worst possible thing that could have happened to you or any other child?

Is being molested worse than being tortured? Is being molested worse than watching both of you parents get murdered? Is being molested worse than being the sole survivor of an airplane crash? I don't know.

I'm just saying there are many many terrible things that can happen to a child and most children grow up to be perfectly normal adults whether or not they were molested or whether or not something else terrible happened to them.
What?

I'm not denying that someone can grow up to be normal even after all that tragedy. I am saying it never really leaves a person. And events in childhood do help form the adult, both good and bad.

Since I'm telling so much about my life, and considering your statement, allow me to state a few more items in the interests of full disclosure.

Is being molested worse than being tortured? Both are bad. My father beat me pretty much every day. I thought it was normal to get whippings every day and have bloody welts, and have my underwear stick to my ass.

Is being molested worse than watching both of you parents get murdered?Again, both are bad. At ten years of age I ran into my home from a church revival on a Tuesday, racing my sister to the door. It was already open, I opened it, saw what I thought to be kool-aid on the floor. Looked to the side and saw my father shot dead, sitting upright in his chair, with his eyes wide open.


Is being molested worse than being the sole survivor of an airplane crash? I don't know. I don't know either

You're statement just doesn't make much sense to me.

I'm the sum of all the events that occurred to me, both good and bad, throughout my entire life. Then I chose how I was going to live my life. They don't define me but they helped form me into who I am.
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Old 08-19-08, 04:41 PM
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A lot of 'perfectly normal adults' are fucked up in ways you will never see (that goes for all people, not just ones who were molested when they were children). They seem perfectly normal at work, at church, where ever but you don't know what is going on in their head.

It's not a contest over what is worse, but he is objecting to the way it seemed she implied that life can be the same as if something bad didn't happen to you. Yes some people can go on and have a normal life, but it is there nonetheless.
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Old 08-19-08, 04:42 PM
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Originally Posted by happycamper View Post
nobody is debating that torture, murder, rape, suicide as a child is worse than being molested except you.

and you must have missed the part that you quoted where he stated that he believes they learn to adapt and move on, but that it just never goes away.
that's somewhat different to the loaded wording of an abuse victim having "a life sentence". losing a parent doesn't go away either, but it doesn't have to handicap you through life in any way either.
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Old 08-19-08, 04:48 PM
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Originally Posted by whoopdido View Post
I'm just saying there are many many terrible things that can happen to a child and most children grow up to be perfectly normal adults whether or not they were molested or whether or not something else terrible happened to them.
Define "perfectly normal".

Nobody is saying that people can't move on after stuff like that, but it affects you in ways that you will always have to deal with. Kids that have a parent leave, always deal with abandonment issues. Women who grew up with abusive fathers tend to repeatedly find their way into abusive relationships. People who were molested/abused as a child by people close to them, deal with trust issues for the rest of their lives. These people can function normally in everyday life, but they will always have something deep within them that makes it a little harder than people who did not have these experiences.

For some reason, it seems that people tend to underestimate the affect that childhood experiences have on kids growing up . . . both positive and negative. Maybe it's because kids appear to heal so faster (both physically and emotionally). Regardless, even physical wounds tend to leave scar tissue that stays with you for the rest of your life . . . you learn to live with them, but the are always there. Not sure why people think that emotional scars are any different.
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Old 08-19-08, 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Burnt Thru View Post
that's somewhat different to the loaded wording of an abuse victim having "a life sentence". losing a parent doesn't go away either, but it doesn't have to handicap you through life in any way either.
Everyone is going to lose their parents, unless they die first. I'm 33 and luckily it hasn't happened to me yet, but my whole life I've known that someday it will happened, it is inevitable. Child abuse will not happen to everyone.
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Old 08-19-08, 05:10 PM
  #84  
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we're talking about childhood experiences impacting on future quality of life.
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Old 08-19-08, 05:11 PM
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Alright enough of this. Why you would share so much about your life with total internet strangers is beyond me, but it sounds like you dealt with a lot of crappy things. Like I said before, that sucks. Not much else to say I guess.

Really no reason to argue this anymore.
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Old 08-19-08, 05:11 PM
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Originally Posted by El Scorcho View Post
You owe Whogirl some royalties now.
* checks Kittydreamer's still on ignore after 3 years ... yep. *
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Old 08-19-08, 05:11 PM
  #87  
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Originally Posted by talemyn View Post
Define "perfectly normal".
"Normal is something people are until you get to know them. Everybody's crazy."
--Michael Bolton:

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Old 08-19-08, 05:16 PM
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Originally Posted by talemyn View Post
Define "perfectly normal".

Nobody is saying that people can't move on after stuff like that, but it affects you in ways that you will always have to deal with. Kids that have a parent leave, always deal with abandonment issues. Women who grew up with abusive fathers tend to repeatedly find their way into abusive relationships. People who were molested/abused as a child by people close to them, deal with trust issues for the rest of their lives. These people can function normally in everyday life, but they will always have something deep within them that makes it a little harder than people who did not have these experiences.
this is certainly the profitable belief of psychologists. personally i believe in choosing what events you will deem most important to your make-up and making them central to your life. that doesn't mean it's easy to let go of certain experiences you have been through, but it's not beyond us to do so either. a fascinating study was carried out recently of those involved in the hatfield rail disaster (a major train crash here about 10 years back). around half of those involved had undergone counciling, but showed little difference to those who had had none. frankly i consider much of psychology a con/psydo-science.
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Old 08-19-08, 05:24 PM
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Originally Posted by whoopdido View Post
Alright enough of this. Why you would share so much about your life with total internet strangers is beyond me, but it sounds like you dealt with a lot of crappy things. Like I said before, that sucks. Not much else to say I guess.

Really no reason to argue this anymore.


Believe me, I didn't plan on it. It just sort of came out. I've come to terms with all of that a long time ago.

And yes, I'd like to think I'm a perfectly normal person.
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Old 08-19-08, 05:27 PM
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As a male victim (not to imply it is worse, but does bring up some different feelings and issues), I can honestly say that it NEVER goes away. It is always there. This goes for every single survivor I have ever met personally, including doctors, lawyers, executives, and self made multi-millionaires who obviously are successful but like I said, it is always there.

Yes you can "move on" and become productive blah blah blah and that may last forever. But it shapes your feelings, actions, and behaviors even if you aren’t consciously aware of it. Even if you have "moved on", all it takes is another bad event to bring it all back to the forefront and you might realize you never get over it. No matter how many people have, doesn’t mean everybody can.

Don't diminish other people's pain because you (in the general sense not calling anyone out) seemingly are able to forgive/forget such horrors.

And to be honest anyone who has never experienced this shouldn’t even be telling anyone how to deal with it. This is just my opinion, but I wouldn’t trust a therapist who wasn’t a survivor, just like I wouldn’t trust a drug/alcohol counselor who wasn’t in recovery. Certain things in life you can’t really understand no matter how smart, or educated, or compassionate, or enlightened you may be, unless you experience it on some level. Again this is just for me and anyone who has ever helped anyone or been helped by those that aren’t directly involved with these issues, I salute you and am genuinely happy for you.

JMHO
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Old 08-19-08, 05:31 PM
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You guys are all talking about red herrings.

THIS is the creepiest guy around:

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Old 08-19-08, 05:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Burnt Thru View Post
this is certainly the profitable belief of psychologists. personally i believe in choosing what events you will deem most important to your make-up and making them central to your life. that doesn't mean it's easy to let go of certain experiences you have been through, but it's not beyond us to do so either. a fascinating study was carried out recently of those involved in the hatfield rail disaster (a major train crash here about 10 years back). around half of those involved had undergone counciling, but showed little difference to those who had had none. frankly i consider much of psychology a con/psydo-science.
<----- not a psychologist

But I am someone who has had years of experience working with teenagers and, while I agree that the average adult should have the tools to handle traumatic experiences, as you said earlier, we are talking about "childhood experiences" here. Children (and even teens, to a certain level) are not well enough equipped to protect themselves from the impact of that kind of negativity. As a result, it has an obvious impact on their core development as a person.

I see it on a daily basis . . . kids that are being subjected to negativity in their home life (or school life, or whatever) reflect it in their own personal lives. Luckily, positive influences have the same affect and can counter-balance the negative in many cases (e.g., a boy without a father can find a positive father figure in a grandfather or uncle, kids whose parents went through a nasty divorce can learn about healthy marriages by interacting with a friends parents or a sibling and their spouse, etc.).

However, traumatically negative experiences are not so easy to counter . . . particularly by an immature mind who probably doesn't even full grasp the situation, let alone no how to handle it. Spend enough time with kids and it becomes painfully obvious.
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Old 08-19-08, 05:37 PM
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Originally Posted by whoopdido View Post
Alright enough of this. Why you would share so much about your life with total internet strangers is beyond me, but it sounds like you dealt with a lot of crappy things. Like I said before, that sucks. Not much else to say I guess.

Really no reason to argue this anymore.
Some of us have known him for years. He specializes in mismanaged internet debacles. We love him in spite of it. And maybe a little because of it.

And what he is saying is that people can recover and overcome anything. Although if the result of overcoming adversity is a hillbilly Titans fan, I'm not sure how much worse this could have turned out.
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Old 08-19-08, 05:39 PM
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Originally Posted by waporvare View Post
And yes, I'd like to think I'm a perfectly normal person.
Of course you are, wv . . . of course you are . . .

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Old 08-19-08, 05:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Burnt Thru View Post
this is certainly the profitable belief of psychologists. personally i believe in choosing what events you will deem most important to your make-up and making them central to your life. that doesn't mean it's easy to let go of certain experiences you have been through, but it's not beyond us to do so either. a fascinating study was carried out recently of those involved in the hatfield rail disaster (a major train crash here about 10 years back). around half of those involved had undergone counciling, but showed little difference to those who had had none. frankly i consider much of psychology a con/psydo-science.
You can let something go all you want, pretend it never happened, or be 'over it' and never think about it, but it is still affecting you, your interactions with people, relationships, etc.

Since you say psychology is mostly BS, what way are you advocating that people should use to choose not to let something affect you? How do you choose not to have nightmares, not to have things pop into your mind when you don't want them to, etc when such things aren't a conscious choice? Everyone I've ever met who felt strongly about how you could let go and not let something affect you was a big fan of psychology.
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Old 08-19-08, 06:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Preacher View Post
* checks Kittydreamer's still on ignore after 3 years ... yep. *
Haha, you got REPORTED!!!
and for stating the obvious too. [points at preacher and laughs]
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Old 08-19-08, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Burnt Thru View Post
this is certainly the profitable belief of psychologists. personally i believe in choosing what events you will deem most important to your make-up and making them central to your life. that doesn't mean it's easy to let go of certain experiences you have been through, but it's not beyond us to do so either. a fascinating study was carried out recently of those involved in the hatfield rail disaster (a major train crash here about 10 years back). around half of those involved had undergone counciling, but showed little difference to those who had had none. frankly i consider much of psychology a con/psydo-science.
Mr. Cruise? Is that you? Been reading Dianetics again have we?
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Old 08-19-08, 06:38 PM
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Originally Posted by talemyn View Post
Of course you are, wv . . . of course you are . . .


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Old 08-19-08, 06:56 PM
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omg waporvare. i'm so very sorry to hear you're a titans fan.
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Old 08-19-08, 07:03 PM
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Originally Posted by crankyman View Post
omg waporvare. i'm so very sorry to hear you're a titans fan.
What's Michael Vick up to nowadays?
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