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Helped need for script I am wriiting

Old 06-02-08, 08:41 AM
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Helped need for script I am wriiting

OK so here is the deal. I was re-discovering a few movies I hadn't seen in some time and I got inspired to write again (I haven't in close to 6 months). My method is simple, I get inside my character's head before I even begin.

In this case, the character is based on myself and two friends...the two friends I have down, but there is this part of myself I want to add in and I am not exactly sure how to do it.

The phrase I have written down is "wears heart on sleeve". To be honest, I have no idea what that means. I have heard it said to me numerous times, but I really can't figure out why people say that. So any clarification would be great.

Now my next question has to do with something I *might* add in. The character is going to see a shrink, but there is a problem with this. He is going to talk about people he has killed....and if I recall aren't shrink required to tell the cops? If so, then it throws a wrench into my plans. If not, can someone explain how it works.

Lastly, for those wondering, I am working on a black comedy of sorts. Got inspired after watching Swingers.
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Old 06-02-08, 08:48 AM
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Originally Posted by macnorton
In this case, the character is based on myself....

.... The character is going to see a shrink, but there is a problem with this. He is going to talk about people he has killed....and if I recall aren't shrink required to tell the cops?
The authorities are on the way to your house.
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Old 06-02-08, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Mittman
The authorities are on the way to your house.
But alas, that part of the character is based on a friend of mine.
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Old 06-02-08, 08:57 AM
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Watch much Sopranos?
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Old 06-02-08, 09:00 AM
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You might start by learning your verb tenses.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:02 AM
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Tip #1: Screenplays tend to sell better when you spell writing with one "i".

Tip #2: To wear one's heart on one's sleeve means that one is emotionally transparent. Although it originates with "Othello" and a character who pretended to do this to hide his true intentions.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Groucho
Tip #1: Screenplays tend to sell better when you spell writing with one "i".

Tip #2: To wear one's heart on one's sleeve means that one is emotionally transparent. Although it originates with "Othello" and a character who pretended to do this to hide his true intentions.
Yeah...fat fingered that one on the old keyboard. That is why I like to hand write things.

Thanks...I now can get inside this guy's head. Which ironically, I don't feel I am emotionally transparent, but I certainly share them when I can.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Pistol Pete
Watch much Sopranos?
Yes, every episode. But my friend is not in the mob, he was in Iraq and he came back a little shell shocked. He had to kill people and he closed his eyes and saw everyone of them. That is where I was going.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:13 AM
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private void do_InitialStart() throws Throwable {
setString("s_m", substr(date(), 1, 2));
setString("s_d", substr(date(), 4, 2));
setString("s_y", substr(date(), 7, 4));
/* setString("s_y", substr(date(), 8, 1));
if ((getString("s_y")).equalsIgnoreCase(("0"))) {
setString("s_y", "20" + substr(date(), 8, 2));
} else {
setString("s_y", "19" + substr(date(), 8, 2));
} */
setString(
"s_date",
getString("s_y") + getString("s_m") + getString("s_d"));
sendAndWait(-1, -1, "{CLEAR}", -1);
send(0, 1, "SYSL", -1);
sendAndWait(-1, -1, "{ENTER}", -1);
send(0, 0, "DBCO", -1);
sendAndWait(-1, -1, "{ENTER}", -1);
if (!(screen(1, 1, 3, -1)).equalsIgnoreCase(("CMD"))) {
dialog(-1, -1, 150, 75, "OOPS", false, false, false);

icon(5, 5, -1, -1, "_STOP");
message(51, 10, -1, -1, "YOU DO NOT");
message(51, 22, -1, -1, "HAVE ACCESS TO");
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Old 06-02-08, 09:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Brian Shannon
private void do_InitialStart() throws Throwable {
setString("s_m", substr(date(), 1, 2));
setString("s_d", substr(date(), 4, 2));
setString("s_y", substr(date(), 7, 4));
/* setString("s_y", substr(date(), 8, 1));
if ((getString("s_y")).equalsIgnoreCase(("0"))) {
setString("s_y", "20" + substr(date(), 8, 2));
} else {
setString("s_y", "19" + substr(date(), 8, 2));
} */
setString(
"s_date",
getString("s_y") + getString("s_m") + getString("s_d"));
sendAndWait(-1, -1, "{CLEAR}", -1);
send(0, 1, "SYSL", -1);
sendAndWait(-1, -1, "{ENTER}", -1);
send(0, 0, "DBCO", -1);
sendAndWait(-1, -1, "{ENTER}", -1);
if (!(screen(1, 1, 3, -1)).equalsIgnoreCase(("CMD"))) {
dialog(-1, -1, 150, 75, "OOPS", false, false, false);

icon(5, 5, -1, -1, "_STOP");
message(51, 10, -1, -1, "YOU DO NOT");
message(51, 22, -1, -1, "HAVE ACCESS TO");
I am both confused and excited by this
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Old 06-02-08, 09:17 AM
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Your story sounds very derivative, and you're using cliches that you don't understand the meaning of. Develop the second part, diminish the first part and you might have some arthouse pomo masterpiece on your hands.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:19 AM
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Originally Posted by macnorton
I am both confused and excited by this
Oh sorry, not that kind of script I guess.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:21 AM
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Originally Posted by SFranke
Your story sounds very derivative, and you're using cliches that you don't understand the meaning of. Develop the second part, diminish the first part and you might have some arthouse pomo masterpiece on your hands.
I don't wont to sound like an ass, but I have given out ZERO story details. I'm just trying to figure out a small part of my character's personality and get a technical clarification on a detail I MAY use.

The actual story is based on myself, two jail bird friends I have, live in New Jersey, and try to find the right person to spend the rest of your life with when they find out what you do for a living.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Brian Shannon
Oh sorry, not that kind of script I guess.
I got the joke...I'm in IT. I was quietly laughing to myself all geek style.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:27 AM
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"Helped need for script"

I'd hate to be the person who tries to read your first draft...

= J
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Old 06-02-08, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Tarantino
"Helped need for script"

I'd hate to be the person who tries to read your first draft...

= J
I'm my own worst critic.

However, I try to look past the grammar stuff since as a general rule, that can be fixed easily. I'm more concerned about logic problems. There have been plenty of times where I get a great idea down and in the middle of it, I find a technical flaw that stars a domino effect. I end up back at square one and totally lose my flow.

I said earlier, my method is, I become the character for an extended length of time. In this case, I am one of them and two of my buddies are too. So I really don't have to get too deep. In this case, I have been taking notes on my own life and that can be a very interesting process. Let me tell you, put something down on paper that you thought was a good idea when you said it....boy howdy does it really put things into perspective.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:34 AM
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You could have your character talk to a Catholic priest instead of a shrink. They're not allowed to reveal what they hear in confession.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Groucho
Tip #1: Screenplays tend to sell better when you spell writing with one "i".
He spells it with three, you spell it with one.

I don't know...I usually spell 'writing' with two 'I's'.

I guess everyone is different!

= J
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Old 06-02-08, 09:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Drexl
You could have your character talk to a Catholic priest instead of a shrink. They're not allowed to reveal what they hear in confession.
I'll assume you are not being sarcastic.

But I was thinking about that. Off topic a bit, one of the things I wanted to add in was an experience I had years ago talking to a priest. It started simply, he was talking to us about sex and how the church felt about it. So on a whim I asked "tell us about your sex experiences". The priest goes into graphic detail about the things he did (and man was it a lot). And to end the conversation he said this, "And that was the letter I wrote to Penthouse Forum, September 23, 1979". Had me on the floor laughing...and this dude was totally serious about it too. And I followed up with, "You became a priest because why exactly?" Which got this response, "I had a sex toy in my rectum...God did not approve". Easily one of the strangest/funniest things I have ever been involved with.

My own problem with having a priest thrown in is I feel it has been done a little too much. I really don't want to get biblical (since I personally do not believe in God and the like...although I was raised that way). But if it works, then maybe I will. But again I stress this is only an IDEA I MAY ADD. Not final yet.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Tarantino
He spells it with three, you spell it with one.

I don't know...I usually spell 'writing' with two 'I's'.

I guess everyone is different!

= J
Asshole...stole my joke
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Old 06-02-08, 09:43 AM
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You could have your character talk to Tyler Durden.

And I'll read your first draft. I like reading scripts.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:48 AM
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If the guy is going to be telling a shrink about people he has killed, he probably does NOT "wear his heart on his sleeve".

Your character may be emotionally transparent in some ways, but would have to be really murky, even to himself, about other things. So, maybe, a better description would be, "not comfortable with complex emotions."

This would give you someone who was used to being very straightforward, but now he has to deal with the complicated emotions around murder.

Feeling the need to hide parts of his life from the world around him would make him feel like a fraud. Even if he could resolve his feelings bout the killings themselves, he would still feel unacceptable to other people. ("If they really knew me, they would hate me!")

The result of this conflict could be that he makes extra effort to be nice to people, but becomes defensive when they try to be nice to him.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:49 AM
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anyone who doesn't know what "wears heart on sleeve" means shouldn't be writing scripts.
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Old 06-02-08, 09:50 AM
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Old 06-02-08, 09:53 AM
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OH yeah, don't worry about whether the shrink is required to report a crime.

The psychiatrist's couch is a useful dramatic tool. If the realism is important to you, have the shrink think these killings are fantasies. Your character could present them as such.

"Sometimes I imagine that I have..."

It would be part of his agony, that he feels he must even lie to the shrink.
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