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Thing that will have your man card revoked

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Thing that will have your man card revoked

Old 05-19-08, 02:48 PM
  #26  
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Originally Posted by Groucho
polishing it off with a Kiwi Strawberry wine cooler!
Is that to prevent chafing, to numb the area so you go at it longer, or just for the hell of it?
Old 05-19-08, 02:48 PM
  #27  
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Originally Posted by El Scorcho
[x] OP is 20-25 years old and is still in that phase where he absolutely has to care about what everyone else around him is doing, saying, acting, dressing like, etc.

[ ] thread has never been done before
Old 05-19-08, 02:49 PM
  #28  
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Originally Posted by macnorton
Did you read above...this was meant to be a joke...sadly some people are taking me a little too seriously.
Jokes are meant to be funny.
Old 05-19-08, 02:50 PM
  #29  
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Originally Posted by Bronkster
I'm going to keep my Hello Kitty lunchbox hidden under my desk until this thread blows over.
That was fairly subtle.
Old 05-19-08, 02:53 PM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
Jokes are meant to be funny.
Touché...I really did not think anyone was going to take me that seriously. How wrong I was.
Old 05-19-08, 02:54 PM
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Originally Posted by macnorton
Touché...I really did not think anyone was going to take me that seriously. How wrong I was.
The men understood your intent.

The rest are just trying to be sensitive to get into some gal's pants.
Old 05-19-08, 03:00 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
The rest are just trying to be sensitive to get into some gal's pants.
Hey
Old 05-19-08, 03:01 PM
  #33  
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Originally Posted by The Bus
Wait, so if you're taking a crap, you piss, then sit down? Or you crap, then stand up, then piss?
That's different, if you're already dropping the kids off at the pool, then you can spray them with the hose, while sitting.
Old 05-19-08, 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
The rest are just trying to be sensitive to get into some gal's pants.
Wasn't that complaint number 3?
Old 05-19-08, 03:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Tracer Bullet
Hey
Okay, or my pants.
Old 05-19-08, 03:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Venusian
Wasn't that complaint number 3?
Nicely played....
Old 05-19-08, 03:05 PM
  #37  
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
Okay, or my pants.
Please lay off the personal attacks. You and I both know, insinuating that anyone wants to get in your pants is a blatant lie and against forum rules.
Old 05-19-08, 03:10 PM
  #38  
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This is a pretty standard thread:

1) Post serious thread about something pet peeve related
2) Wait for 100+ replies in total agreement
3) Never get those replies; instead get called out
4) Switch gears and say you were joking
5) ...
6) Profit!
Old 05-19-08, 03:11 PM
  #39  
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Originally Posted by Venusian
Please lay off the personal attacks. You and I both know, insinuating that anyone wants to get in your pants is a blatant lie and against forum rules.
I made somebody jealous.
Old 05-19-08, 03:14 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
Okay, or my pants.
Hey
Old 05-19-08, 03:15 PM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by El Scorcho
This is a pretty standard thread:

1) Post serious thread about something pet peeve related
2) Wait for 100+ replies in total agreement
3) Never get those replies; instead get called out
4) Switch gears and say you were joking
5) ...
6) Profit!
You had me pegged from the beginning...off to a new evil plan.
Old 05-19-08, 03:16 PM
  #42  
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
I made somebody jealous.
Yes, I am quite positive he's jealous of those that are braindead that don't have the capacity to think of your nether-regions.
Old 05-19-08, 03:40 PM
  #43  
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Originally Posted by El Scorcho
Yes, I am quite positive he's jealous of those that are braindead that don't have the capacity to think of your nether-regions.
I hadn't thought of it that way. You sure did, but I didn't. Tell me more about my nether-regions.
Old 05-19-08, 03:47 PM
  #44  
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
I hadn't thought of it that way. You sure did, but I didn't. Tell me more about my nether-regions.

Announcer: Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
Wiggum (checking): Well I'll be damned.
Old 05-19-08, 03:49 PM
  #45  
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
Peeing while sitting down, "bitch piss" as it is also known.

I am concerned about the status of my husband's man card. He pees while sitting at my request because it is far less messy and the less messy it is the less time I spend clean toilets. The less time I spend cleaning toilets the more time he spends receiving oral rewards (trying to keep it "family friendly" here). So what exactly does that do to the status of his man card? and does he care?
Old 05-19-08, 03:50 PM
  #46  
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Just to play along, there are plenty of ways to lose your man card (well exemplified by groucho, kvrdave, and others in this thread). However, the OPs original 5 are really bad.

also agree that the "joke" is a cover up.
Old 05-19-08, 03:52 PM
  #47  
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Originally Posted by beavismom
I am concerned about the status of my husband's man card. He pees while sitting at my request because it is far less messy and the less messy it is the less time I spend clean toilets. The less time I spend cleaning toilets the more time he spends receiving oral rewards (trying to keep it "family friendly" here). So what exactly does that do to the status of his man card? and does he care?
You told him how to pee?

He will probably only care if you ever told anyone - oops!
Old 05-19-08, 03:56 PM
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Originally Posted by beavismom
I am concerned about the status of my husband's man card. He pees while sitting at my request because it is far less messy and the less messy it is the less time I spend clean toilets. The less time I spend cleaning toilets the more time he spends receiving oral rewards (trying to keep it "family friendly" here). So what exactly does that do to the status of his man card? and does he care?
His man card is still valid because although bitch pissing is acceptable in your presence, he makes up for it by pissing on the seat (sometimes intentional to make up for the bitch pissing) while you are out. Wiping up after himself for the sole purposes of recieving oral rewards IS a valid reason to keep your man card.
Old 05-19-08, 04:21 PM
  #49  
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Originally Posted by El Scorcho
This is a pretty standard thread:

1) Post serious thread about something pet peeve related
2) Wait for 100+ replies in total agreement
3) Never get those replies; instead get called out
4) Switch gears and say you were joking
5) ...
6) Profit!
Pretty much nailed that one.
Old 05-19-08, 04:41 PM
  #50  
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Originally Posted by beavismom
I am concerned about the status of my husband's man card. He pees while sitting at my request because it is far less messy and the less messy it is the less time I spend clean toilets. The less time I spend cleaning toilets the more time he spends receiving oral rewards (trying to keep it "family friendly" here). So what exactly does that do to the status of his man card? and does he care?

You have been married awhile and he has already lost his will to live. I know because I see that time quickly approaching me as well.

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