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Implants work as air bags!

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Implants work as air bags!

Old 04-29-08, 04:06 PM
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Implants work as air bags!

Breast implants save car-crash Bulgarian

40DD airbags
By Lester Haines → More by this author
Published Tuesday 3rd October 2006 11:07 GMT

A Bulgarian woman driver escaped relatively unscathed from a head-on pile-up with another vehicle when her 40DD breast implants absorbed most of the impact, Ananova reports.

Elena Marinova, 24, of Sofia, pranged her motor in the northern city of Ruse. Both cars were written off and the other driver seriously injured, local paper Standart reported.

A police expert explained: "[The implants] worked just like airbags - protecting the victim's ribs and vital organs from damage." He did, however, add: "They are not as safe as the real thing because they exploded, which airbags are not supposed to do."

Bootnote
Yes, it's official: extraordinarily pneumatic breasts will be henceforth known on El Reg as "Bulgarian airbags".
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/10...arian_airbags/

So tell your wife that you think she needs additional crash protection.
Old 04-29-08, 04:07 PM
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Pranged her motor, eh?
Old 04-29-08, 04:08 PM
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You cannot believe the pain that conjured up.
Old 04-29-08, 04:10 PM
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I'll be getting 8 of these surrounding my skull. Thank you, Dr. Danger!
Old 04-29-08, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
I'll be getting 8 of these surrounding my skull. Thank you, Dr. Danger!
One pair should be enough protection.
Spoiler:
Spoiler:
does massive cleavage = not family-friendly?

Old 04-29-08, 04:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Danger
A police expert explained: "[The implants] worked just like airbags - protecting the victim's ribs and vital organs from damage." He did, however, add: "They are not as safe as the real thing because they exploded, which airbags are not supposed to do."
They call THAT extra crash protection??

Hey, what about women who are... uhhh... amply-bosomed? Does that mean we're driving around with less crash protection, just because we didn't have airbags implanted in us?


.

Last edited by shoppingbear; 04-29-08 at 04:48 PM.
Old 04-29-08, 04:47 PM
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Much more entertaining than exploding underpants.
Old 04-29-08, 05:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Danger
Much more entertaining than exploding underpants.
Depends. Is there a monkey involved?
Old 04-29-08, 06:15 PM
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Originally Posted by gilbertr76
Depends.
Good suggestion.
Old 04-29-08, 06:36 PM
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In related airbag news

Hugo Chavez rails against teen Bulgarian airbags

Breast implants join list of Yankee imperialist outrages

By Lester Haines Published Wednesday 26th September 2007 23:44 GMT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hugo Chavez has slammed Venezuelans' growing penchant for celebrating their daughters' coming-of-age by stumping up for breast implants, Reuters reports.

The prez's countrymen/women have apparently developed quite a taste for western-style consumerism, and in particular coughing thousands of dollars for Bulgarian airbags which they flaunt with unashamed pride as twin examples of their affluence.

What's particularly offended Chavez, however, is that Venezuelans come of age at 15, which means thousands of señoritas queuing up to go under the knife before they've even grown out of their Barbies.

Chavez thundered on his weekly TV show: "Now some people think, 'My daughter's turning 15, let's give her breast enlargements.' That's horrible. It's the ultimate degeneration."

And speaking of Barbie, Chavez also had a pop at "Western-imposed consumerist icons such as Barbie dolls".

Chavez hopes that Venezuelans will repent their spendthrift ways and has "told his supporters to give away any extra goods they do not need, urging them to leave out in town squares items such as fans or refrigerators".

Some hope, we reckon, although we think we may have found a solution to the implant outrage. Were Chavez - who recently announced the country would shift its time zone by half an hour, apparently just to piss off the US - simply to declare that all Venezuelan females become 18 on their 15th birthday, he might find the whole thing less morally repugnant.
Can't say I blame Chavez here. It's actually pretty much the same thing in Colombia. I spent a month in Medellin last December (a hot spot for plastic surgery tourism), and I was a bit taken aback by the number of local girls with dyed blond hair and breast implants. Way to ruin beautiful latinas.
Old 04-29-08, 07:20 PM
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Originally Posted by eXcentris
It's actually pretty much the same thing in Colombia.


Can't wait for my trip in the summer!
Old 04-30-08, 07:17 AM
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Originally Posted by shoppingbear
They call THAT extra crash protection??

Hey, what about women who are... uhhh... amply-bosomed? Does that mean we're driving around with less crash protection, just because we didn't have airbags implanted in us?


.
There's always upgrading to a J-cup.
Old 04-30-08, 07:48 AM
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I think this thread needs some pics of potentially life saving airbags.

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