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My birthday party - a time to learn FAMILY SECRETS

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My birthday party - a time to learn FAMILY SECRETS

Old 03-24-08, 10:36 AM
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My birthday party - a time to learn FAMILY SECRETS

My birthday was yesterday, so my older sister (3 years older) had me and my wife over her house on Saturday for dinner. My oldest sister (18 years older) was there too.

I lived in the same house from birth until I was 16, so we were talking about where my family lived before that.
I found out that my great-grandfather not only owned the house I grew up in, but also the house right next door, and my parents and oldest sister and my late sister lived there for a while. Weird that I didn't know that.

ANYWAY, the conversation went in a different direction:

Oldest sister: "..and then when I was 4 or 5 I lived with Grandma & Grandpa Fisher for six months while Daddy was in jail...."

Me: "Wait....he....what? Jail?"

Oldest sister: "Yes. And Mommy was..."

Me: "Whoa whoa whoa. Why was Daddy in jail for six months?"

Oldest sister: "Well, it was really because he was helping somebody."

Note: I realize the laws in the 1950s were a little more Draconian, but I tend to doubt my father went to jail for helping someone, unless it was helping them rob a bank. My father could never do any wrong in the eyes of my sister.

Oldest sister: "He was a fight in a pool hall, someone got beat up pretty bad with a pool cue, so Daddy put him in the car and took him to the hospital. When the guy woke up, he said Daddy did it."

Me: "Really? That's terrible that he would say that."

Note: Sorry Dad, but it sounds fishy to me.

Anybody else ever unearth some sordid family story during a get-together? Fun stuff!
Old 03-24-08, 10:53 AM
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I just find it odd that grown people are using the words "mommy" and "daddy".
Old 03-24-08, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted by LivingINClip
I just find it odd that grown people are using the words "mommy" and "daddy".
Really? That's funny, 'cause your mom calls me "daddy" every night.



Yeah, I got nothing.
Old 03-24-08, 11:18 AM
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While playing "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: The Board Game" with my parents and two of my brothers and our wives, we learned that my parents hiked the Grand Canyon naked on their Honeymoon.

Old 03-24-08, 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted by LivingINClip
I just find it odd that grown people are using the words "mommy" and "daddy".
I only use those terms when talking to my sisters. For some reason, saying Mom and Dad doesn't sound right with them.
Old 03-24-08, 11:22 AM
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My aunt told me about an affair my grandfather had. She mentioned it like everyone knew. I didn't want or need to know it.
Old 03-24-08, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Goldberg74
While playing "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: The Board Game" with my parents...
...and that was your first mistake, right there.
Old 03-24-08, 11:51 AM
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I found out my aunt moved to the midwest to live with/marry a guy after college. (the living with was a HUGE no-no in my family, so that is probably why they got married). She eventually moved back and divorced the guy (another no-no). I think there have been 2 divorces out of the 10 marriages of my aunts/uncles....both quite scandalous.

Oh, and my mom and her sorority sisters hitch-hiked to FL for spring break one year...and didn't tell my grand parents.
Old 03-24-08, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
My aunt told me about an affair my grandfather had. She mentioned it like everyone knew. I didn't want or need to know it.
Sorry Dave, I think we ARE going to need to know the details on this one. It may explain a few things
Old 03-24-08, 12:20 PM
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My cousin beat his (now) ex wife and kids. (he is now awaiting trial for battery)

My mom turned him in.


The family shit storm commenced when my cousin's mom went off on my mom for turning him in.
Old 03-24-08, 12:21 PM
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I didn't find out that my mom was my dad's second wife until I was in my twenties. Apparently, he got married very young and then got a divorce a few years later. No half-siblings, though (as far as I know )
Old 03-24-08, 12:36 PM
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Originally Posted by JasonF
I didn't find out that my mom was my dad's second wife until I was in my twenties. Apparently, he got married very young and then got a divorce a few years later. No half-siblings, though (as far as I know )
Same here, we "found out" on my dad's death bed when I was 15 or so (can't remember the year). I also have a half sister I didn't know about. My granma had kind of said it in passing once or twice that my dad either was married before or that he had a kid before he married my mom but he made it official.
Old 03-24-08, 01:10 PM
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I found out that a family member was working at the same place as her dad, he was a foreman or something, and when her blood test came back from her physical, she had an STD and as a superior, he was notified.
Old 03-24-08, 01:16 PM
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I was 30 before I found out that my mother had actually been married before she married my dad. It was just some GI wedding during WWII, they got drunk one night and got married, never lived together though. And the crazy thing is that my mother was REALLY upset that I'd found out. She wanted me to promise not to tell my brothers, but I refused and told them anyway. It was weird, sort of like finding out you're adopted or something. But the one thing it did help me understand was why my mother was always so critical of divorced women.
Old 03-24-08, 01:20 PM
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I didn't find out until after my father had died (by looking through his things) that he never finished high school. He dropped out, lied about his age, and went to fight in World War II. I imagine the Navy still regards him as two years older than he really was.
Old 03-24-08, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Numanoid
I didn't find out until after my father had died (by looking through his things) that he never finished high school. He dropped out, lied about his age, and went to fight in World War II. I imagine the Navy still regards him as two years older than he really was.
In the same vein as this, I didn't find out until my mom's funeral that she and my dad had not only lied about their ages to get into the service in WWII--which resulted in my mom getting kicked out of the WACs when they found out her real age somehow--but they also lied about my dad's age (he was 20, and in those days the man had to be 21) to get married. You should know that these are the same two who told me that the earth would open up and the heavens would rain fire upon me for not telling them I snitched two marshmallow cookies out of the package. Good times.

Last edited by Vibiana; 03-24-08 at 01:27 PM.
Old 03-24-08, 01:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Numanoid
I didn't find out until after my father had died (by looking through his things) that he never finished high school. He dropped out, lied about his age, and went to fight in World War II. I imagine the Navy still regards him as two years older than he really was.
It's incredible how common this is for WW1 and WW2. NPR had a story recently about WW1 vets. Most of them were fighting when they were 15-17. They too had lied about their age.
Old 03-24-08, 02:54 PM
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I learned one time that my Great Grand Father (Italian)was murdered by a crooked Irish Cop in NYC.

me and my brother were like

we wanted to know more - and thought this story should be passed from generation to generation ... but no one seems to know any details.
Old 03-24-08, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by CPA-ESQ.
I learned one time that my Great Grand Father (Italian)was murdered by a crooked Irish Cop in NYC.

me and my brother were like

we wanted to know more - and thought this story should be passed from generation to generation ... but no one seems to know any details.
NYTime has archives of their paper back up to 1851.
Old 03-24-08, 03:11 PM
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My wife recently found out that her grandfather (now deceased) molested her mom and aunt when they were young. It was quite a blow as she had no clue and held him in very high regard. It explained some of the attitudes that her mom had towards him in his final years that my wife never understood. My wife has a hard time thinking well of her grandfather now.

Last edited by cdollaz; 03-24-08 at 11:50 PM.
Old 03-24-08, 04:05 PM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
NYTime has archives of their paper back up to 1851.
It would be cool to find out more about it - but I think all the people who knew the details and time frame are no longer living... but I should ask around - if we ever have another family reunion.
Old 03-24-08, 10:44 PM
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When an older distant relative (second cousin, I think) died, her daughter was going through papers and found the dead relative's marriage certificate. The daughter realized that she was born less than 6 months after they married, and that the date on the marriage certificate was a year later than her mom had always told her. One of her aunts fessed up that it was a shotgun wedding, right during WWII I think. She was FLOORED.
Old 03-24-08, 10:52 PM
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This past Thanksgiving, I found out from my parents that I'm gay. That was one awkward dinner, let me tell you!
Old 03-24-08, 10:54 PM
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When I was a kid, after my folks divorced, my mom had a hard time keeping our house, so she wound up selling it to her brother and his wife. We moved, and then later on the house got broken into and the robbers shot my uncle's dog dead. (insert your own obligatory kvrdave joke here.) That was probably 30 some odd years ago.

This past August my uncle died, and it was at his funeral that my mom just casually mentioned that her sister in law had thought that my MOM shot the dog. (And you'd have to know my mom...loves dogs, would save a stray when she saw one, doesn't even own a gun.) I was like, wait...what??? Go back. How did she arrive at that conclusion? You mean they have believed that and for how long?

Not an earth shattering secret, I suppose, but it's amazing what some people will think and hold against somebody else.
Old 03-24-08, 11:21 PM
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My parents were married for three years before they had me, and something my mom said once made me think that she might have miscarried before she had me. I don't even remember what it was now, just something that made me go "Wait...what?", but I didn't press her on it at the time. I've always wanted to ask about that, but there's never really a good time to bring that up in conversation. "Hey mom, that chocolate cake was great. By the way, did you ever have a miscarriage?" I suppose I could ask my grandparents instead, but it seems like a weird thing to ask anybody about.

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