RocShemp

I may heave to steal this idea if I won.

Nick Danger

Servants. We want a French Maid and a pool boy.

Troy Stiffler

I would keep it secret and treat it like a curse. I would hope that many people around me never find out. I would create a trust, and funnel all of the money into my business as investment capital.

I would also consider creating a second trust, and naming certain (and many) family members in it, with dividends paid by an investments manager. That would trickle down to other friends and family, and make everyone happy.

By utilizing investments, you can grow the money, support other people's businesses a little, and (most importantly) tell people that you don't have a lot of money.

My worst fear would be getting killed by some dummy relatives or some random jealous stranger. It is my belief that the population is as stupid as you can possibly imagine. So I'd be super discrete and careful.

And no, I didn't buy a ticket.

Sean O'Hara

I'd open a sci-fi themed brothel in Nevada. Ever wanted to bend Deanna Troi over the tactical station on the Enterprise's bridge? Now you can, only $500. Into bondage? Enjoy our spacious replica of Jabba's palace with your very own Princess Leia on a chain, $800, or for an extra $400 you add a green chick for a threeway. Have a fantasy involving Munchkins, Jawas, Ewoks, or hobbits? Don't worry, I'll find a midget prostitute and provide her with a full array of costumes.

aintnosin

I pay for the Kardashians to enter the witness protection program.

mhg83

Too late. They already have that.

Why So Blu?

For those that think you'd be able to keep it a secret - the winnings administrators would not allow it. You have to do press with the winnings. Yes, you can make arrangements like getting a financial advisor and setting up proper paperwork, etc., but when it comes time to cash the ticket in then you will be paraded in front of the cameras and press.

Kmical

Unless you live in one of the following states:

(Powerball) DE, KS, MD, ND, OH
(Mega Millions): DE, KS, MD, ND, OH, SC

CAN I REMAIN ANONYMOUS WHEN I HIT THE JACKPOT?

All but five states (DE, KS, MD, ND, OH) have laws that require the lottery to release the name and city of residence to anyone who asks. Some states are considering anonymous claims. Some states are considering a one-year period of anonymity to give the winners time to get used to their new lifestyle. Other states may offer to assist you in some way, including such things as the creation of trusts. But generally, you will want to hire an attorney to review the laws in your state to see what options you might have. Photos and press conferences are up to you for most part, though some states add a requiremment for photos on their tickets. Check with your state lottery to see if photos or more are required. Most of the time, it is advisable to get it over with the press so that you don't have one or more reporters following you around to get that "exclusive" interview. Even if the you can keep your identity secret from the press and the public, you will have to be known to the lottery - so they can confirm that you are eligible to play and win.

http://www.powerball.com/pb_contact.asp

astrochimp

I'd have a panic room.

Troy Stiffler

I'd have a panic HOUSE!

dsa_shea

I'd be in a State of Panic.

mhg83

That's when you spend a year changing your looks, deleting your facebook, ditch your cell phone and get a ton of burners, legally change your name and after all that come forward to the press.

Jason

I would not immediately cash in the ticket. I would hire a lawyer, find a reputable financial planner, and gracefully extract myself from my job. None of that walking into the office and going, "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're all right, and fuck you!" from me. Just knowing I could do it would be good enough for me

Anyhow, my lottery ticket will sit nice and safe in a deposit box at the bank until a really big news story enters the cycle. Something like Ferguson, or a major figure dying. Something that even local news will bleat on about endlessly. Then I slip in, grab my cash, and I'm a ghost.

Kdogg

So basically what the first person who came forward to claim this prize is not doing.

Nick Danger

There's a pretty short deadline. Someone here lost out on a million dollar ticket by not coming forward before the two months were up. You might not get a Benghazi or a missing white girl story in time.

But I'd wait as long as I could.

TomOpus

My PowerBall ticket had 3 numbers so I won $7.

Bought two slices of pizza and a 20oz Minute Maid lemonade

Troy Stiffler

Oooo. I just got the "impractical" part on the thread title.

I would fly all of you in for an Otter Meet. First class and private jets. We'd have the best party ever.

And then I'd lock the doors and set fire to the the place.

Jason

If nothing comes along, I'll just cash it in Friday afternoon at 4:00 when the reporters are packing it in for the weekend.

hanshotfirst1138

That really sucks. I'll take the fortune, man. Keep the fame. I don't know what the hell is do with that money. Help all of the people in my life in need to cover their debts, first of all. And my own, obviously. Maybe buy a house someplace where it doesn't snow. Thereafter, buy the most badass home theater system imaginable. Then I don't frigging know. Maybe buy a cinema and collect 35mm prints of stuff?

rexinnih

I would pay the hitman I hire to take care of the Kardashians to enter the witness protection program. Actually I wouldn't need to, they'd need to get their medal from Congress first.

zero

If I won the biggest jackpot? I'd probably...

1) Keep my job but transfer back to SoCA

2) Buy a house for my sister

3) Give a lump sum to my cousins who housed me for a while when I had nowhere to go.

4) Buy myself a place.

5) Save and invest

6) Take a vacation.

majorjoe23

I think the problem with this is that you can cash it in on Friday afternoon, the lottery people are going to say "Congratulations! The press conference will be at noon Tuesday."

mike45

I'd cash in immediately. Something could happen to the ticket or me if I waited. I trust myself to do the right thing with the money.

VinVega

Cash it in, but have a plan. If I won, I'd be in a hotel room and have a lawyer before I cashed it in. People will get your address. Not all of them wish you well.

Alan Smithee

Buy a theater like the one in my picture.