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Wrong to go after a girl with a boyfriend?

Old 03-16-08, 10:51 AM
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Wrong to go after a girl with a boyfriend?

sss

Last edited by darkessenz; 12-01-09 at 04:11 AM.
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Old 03-16-08, 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by darkessenz
Well? This has come up several times amongst my friends, and there is no consensus. It happens alot I think, but what does the dvdtalk collective think about it?

Really?
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Old 03-16-08, 10:56 AM
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No consensus? I think you need new friends. Of course it's wrong.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:05 AM
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Originally Posted by darkessenz
I knew I could count on dvdtalk to provide moral certainty! Why is it wrong though? Who are you wronging exactly? The boyfriend or the girlfriend? Its the girl's job to reject suitors isn't it?
You're kidding right?
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Old 03-16-08, 11:06 AM
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I used to think it was scummy to do this, but since then I've learned that life is too short and you have to make yourself happy. As long as the guy isn't a friend or family member, then it's game-on.

If the girl isn't interested, then it dies there... if she is, then she probably shouldn't be with that guy anyways and she should break if off with him before being with you.

Last edited by Coral; 03-16-08 at 11:10 AM.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted by darkessenz
Why is it wrong though?
Because you are stepping in on someone else's relationship.....?
Who are you wronging exactly?
The boyfriend, even if he's a shitty boyfriend it's not your place to get involved.
Its the girl's job to reject suitors isn't it?
Yes and it's a guy's job to have some decency to not mess around with someone who's involved.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:09 AM
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Originally Posted by darkessenz
I knew I could count on dvdtalk to provide moral certainty! Why is it wrong though? Who are you wronging exactly? The boyfriend or the girlfriend? Its the girl's job to reject suitors isn't it?
Would you want someone to go after your boyfriend/girlfriend? If your answer's "no," then it'd be wrong for you to do it.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:12 AM
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I guess it's wrong to go after a girl with a husband too.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:14 AM
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Apparently, darkessenz and his friends need to add a "Bros Before Hos" amendment to their constitution.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:20 AM
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Even if she did leave some other dude to be with you, wouldn't you always be worried that she'll end up doing the same thing to you esp. whenever she goes to hang out with other guy friends.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by eXcentris
I guess it's wrong to go after a girl with a husband too.
I don't know about wrong, but definitely more trouble than it's worth.


Especially when he comes home early.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Coral
I used to think it was scummy to do this, but since then I've learned that life is too short and you have to make yourself happy. As long as the guy isn't a friend or family member, then it's game-on.

If the girl isn't interested, then it dies there... if she is, then she probably shouldn't be with that guy anyways and she should break if off with him before being with you.
Yup. Go for it.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:28 AM
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Its wrong & puts you in line for a major ass whoopin.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:39 AM
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It's generally wrong to try to break up other people's relationships.

If it works, guess what she's going to be doing to you and your relationship?

If you aren't planning to get into a relationship with her, then you're trying to break up her relationship with her boyfriend just so you can bang her. That's pretty scummy.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Sean O'Hara
Would you want someone to go after your boyfriend/girlfriend? If your answer's "no," then it'd be wrong for you to do it.
My thoughts exactly.

I did it once and it turned out to be more trouble than it was worth. I got the girl but I also got an angry, jilted ex who wanted to kick my ass for "stealing" her away.
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Old 03-16-08, 11:54 AM
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We have been down this path before...
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Old 03-16-08, 12:07 PM
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I don't know. Like others said, life is too short. I don't see anything wrong with at least bringing up the fact that you like them.* But to do much of anything else would be, as Nick said, a bit scummy.

* This does not apply if they are a friend of yours, a family member, engaged, or married.
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Old 03-16-08, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
I don't know. Like others said, life is too short. I don't see anything wrong with at least bringing up the fact that you like them.* But to do much of anything else would be, as Nick said, a bit scummy.

* This does not apply if they are a friend of yours, a family member, engaged, or married.
Agreed.
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Old 03-16-08, 12:12 PM
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Steal her away if you can, but just remember that if she was quick to break up with her boyfriend to be with you, you can count on your relationship with her ending in a similar way. These things tend to go around and come around...she will find another guy who is stepping in on your relationship and before you know it she's gone.
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Old 03-16-08, 12:12 PM
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I agree with the "life's short" aspect of it, but I personally just can't do it. I've had girls w/ boyfriends end up in my bed after a night of drinking wanting to fuck, but I've also had girls I've been dating end up in other dudes beds as well and it's just not something I could do to another guy, whether I knew him or not. Not to mention the bullshit you would have to deal with if he found out. I dunno, it's just too easy to go out to a bar and find another girl to bone who isn't attached to someone else
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Old 03-16-08, 12:28 PM
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Going after someone in a relationship has the possiblity of making your already short life even shorter.
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Old 03-16-08, 12:48 PM
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If she sprinkles every conversation with references to her boyfriend, do not pursue.

But if she doesn't mention one, and you get to talking, and you get along, and you ask if she has a boyfriend, and she says yes......in my mind, it's perfectly appropriate to say "oh, that's interesting, you haven't mentioned him yet," and then it's even more appropriate to ask her how serious it is. It is, of course, extremely important to pay attention to every nuance of her answer to that question.

And to further break the ice, ask her if he's ever done prison time for manslaughter.
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Old 03-16-08, 12:53 PM
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Why would you want to? If she dumps him for you, she wouldn't have much of a problem doing the same to you down the road.
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Old 03-16-08, 01:18 PM
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Karma. That's what it comes down to.
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Old 03-16-08, 01:51 PM
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Originally Posted by darkessenz
In a long distance relationship, I think that a girl has a right to look around and it is less morally bad than if the boyfriend is active and nearby.

So how far is considered LD.....50 miles, 100 miles, 200 miles? Distance shouldn't dictate morality. If someone wants to do something, that is fine....but don't pin it on proximity.
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