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Dating etiquette question

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Dating etiquette question

Old 01-29-08, 10:17 AM
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Dating etiquette question

Let's see if you guys and gals can help me out with this one. After all the years that my parents made me go to cotillion, I wasn't sure what to do in this situation the other night.

So I took this girl out to dinner on Friday night, we get to the restaurant and the maitre d walks us to our booth. She follows him and I follow her just as we're supposed to and when we get there I help her take her coat off and hang it outside the booth for her. Now this is the part where I am not sure of what I was supposed to do. I have been under the impression that the guy always waits for the girl to sit down before he takes his seat (and if she gets up during the meal, he gets up until she has left the table, etc), but after I hung her coat she just stood there and stared at me. We weren't at a table so there wasn't a chair for me to pull out for her or anything. I must have looked like a deer blinded by headlights so I just sat down and as soon as I did she sat down as well. Now I consider myself to be very knowledgable about proper etiquette but this just blew my mind (And from the time I've spent with her she seems to be very "prim and proper" about this as well so I figure there was something I was supposed to do here). Anyways, dinner went well, I put my napkin in my lap, chewed with my mouth closed, and kept my elbows off the table. Then we made plans for a day date on Sunday. I took her to the shooting range and we went to grab some bbq afterwards and the exact same thing happened (except she wasn't wearing a coat this time). I've consulted all my little debutante friends and none of them knew for sure what the proper procedure is here. What am I supposed to do in this situation other than request a table at every restaurant we go to from now on?
Old 01-29-08, 10:26 AM
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She was testing you, to see if she could make you her bitch.

Spoiler:
She can, and did!
Old 01-29-08, 10:28 AM
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It scared me to see a Groucho post as the first response to my thread.


My instinct was right




So teaching her how to shoot a handgun wasn't the best idea with this one?
Old 01-29-08, 10:37 AM
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Yes the shooting range was the best part. Saying how she was prim and proper than take her to the shooting range and grab some BBQ. I think you are worrying to much, but maybe I have never had proper etiquette around women. But for some reason my gf is staying with with.
Old 01-29-08, 10:41 AM
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That's what I love about those lil southern belles. You can wine em and dine em on Friday Night and first thing Saturday they'll be ready to go 4 wheelin and shootin.

And it's not that I'm really worrying that much about it, it's just a situation that came up that I wasn't sure of and I want to be prepared for in the future. Especially after talking to several of my female friends who weren't sure themselves.
Old 01-29-08, 10:49 AM
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Yea that is interesting. I guess naturally I always let them sit down first, unless they can't make up there mind. But I live in Wisconsin, so we really don't know much about the outside world.
Old 01-29-08, 10:51 AM
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Originally Posted by DVDsAreMyLIFE
But I live in Wisconsin, so we really don't know much about the outside world.
That's because it's far too cold for us to venture out in it.
Old 01-29-08, 10:53 AM
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Originally Posted by John Galt
I have been under the impression that the guy always waits for the girl to sit down before he takes his seat (and if she gets up during the meal, he gets up until she has left the table, etc)..... I put my napkin in my lap....chewed with my mouth closed?
I could be wrong, since its been years since I was in that scene, but I don't think most women care about that stuff as much as they care about you being a kind person, funny, good listener, and not a pervert etc.
Old 01-29-08, 10:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Chew
That's because it's far too cold for us to venture out in it.

Heh heh that is so true. Not to steal away from the topic, but it is suppose to be -35 with wind chill this afternoon. After being 45 this morning.
Old 01-29-08, 10:54 AM
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Your dates include BBQ and shooting ranges, and you're worried about proper date ettiquite?

Just sayin

That said, I always let my wife go first, and we both sit down together.
Old 01-29-08, 10:55 AM
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as long as you paid both times you went out, you looked prim and proper
Old 01-29-08, 10:55 AM
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You should switch it up on her and when she sits down, sit down right next to her. See how that makes her feel.
Old 01-29-08, 10:57 AM
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Since she's a Southern belle kinda gal, tell her to put them dawgs up and take a load off.
Old 01-29-08, 11:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Mankal
I could be wrong, since its been years since I was in that scene, but I don't think most women care about that stuff as much as they care about you being a kind person, funny, good listener, and not a pervert etc.
My last gf was a debutante and was obsessed about this stuff. I'm surprised we didn't have a practice dinner before I met her parents. Like I said though, everything's gone well with this new girl so I figure I must be doing something right and if it did bother her, it wasn't enough for her to say anything. I'm just trying to find out if I'm supposed to do something different in this situation, which it sounds like I did everything correctly.
Old 01-29-08, 11:04 AM
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This thread is like a reading assignment for anthro class.
Old 01-29-08, 11:06 AM
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she was waiting for you to give her a hip check, then sit down next to her... duh.




She was probably waiting for you to gesture for her to have a seat.
Old 01-29-08, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted by GradVT06
Your dates include BBQ and shooting ranges, and you're worried about proper date ettiquite?

Just sayin

That said, I always let my wife go first, and we both sit down together.
We actually met at a group outing going skeet shooting. Friday was our first date and was at a very classy restaurant here in town. During dinner she brought up the skeet shooting and how much fun she had doing that and mentioned she had never shot a handgun. Knowing that this was something that would be a great activity where I could give her some "hands on instruction" I asked her if she wanted to go. It went better than expected and she is actually a really good shot (kinda scary actually). And well Sundays in the South consist of many things, bbq is quite often one of them. In case you're still confused at how these girls operate, our next two dates we have planned are playing a round of golf and watching a NASCAR race.
Old 01-29-08, 11:14 AM
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Originally Posted by grrrah
She was probably waiting for you to gesture for her to have a seat.
That's what I was thinking myself but don't ever recall coming across a situation like that.
Old 01-29-08, 11:19 AM
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Yep. Seems like you have done everything right. But, if you want you could gesture and say 'after you my dear' or whatever you wish.
Old 01-29-08, 11:21 AM
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She's obviously a serial killer. Run!
Old 01-29-08, 11:23 AM
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^^Good idea, I'll do that in the future.

^That could make things quite interesting
Old 01-29-08, 11:51 AM
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I think it's all nice that you were trying to be a gentleman and treat her like a lady.... But.... This was not the cotillion. Yes, you said it was a very nice place.. but I think you are over thinking it. Chewing w/ your mouth closed is way more important than who sits first.
Again.. there's nothing wrong w/ being polite.. and if you're dating this chick 6 months from now.. I hope you're just as respectful.
Old 01-29-08, 11:53 AM
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John, do you happen to live in NOVA? There's a great BBQ place near the range I go to.
Old 01-29-08, 11:56 AM
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Nope, but let me know what place you're talking about. I've been all through NOVA and DC and never found any bbq worth a damn up there. I know this is really stretching it, but do they happen to have any sweet tea?


And Septemberbaby, thanks, I was really wanting to hear a girl's opinion on this.
Old 01-29-08, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by John Galt
In case you're still confused at how these girls operate, our next two dates we have planned are playing a round of golf and watching a NASCAR race.
That sounds like a level of hell to me, and I was raised in south Alabama, about as southern as southern gets.

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