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most embarrissing pee confessions

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most embarrissing pee confessions

Old 08-04-07, 07:09 PM
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most embarrissing pee confessions

This didn't happen to me but a friend of my older sisters. When she was in the third grade her classmate had to use the bathroom. The teacher was a real bitch and wouldn't allow him to leave. He kept telling her he really needed to go and she still wouldn't allow him to. So he decided to take things into his own hands by pulling down his pants and actually peed by his desk! The teacher was furious but the kid told her he really needed to go. Since I wasnt in the same class and never witnessed the incident, I'm not sure how true the story was. But the teacher had been known to be a real child hater so I wouldn't be surprised if it was true.
Old 08-04-07, 07:59 PM
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I peed on a volcano once...

Also, this chick was being a real bitch to me once at a party so I peed in her purse. She passed out that night, and probably didn't stick her hand in her purse until late the next day.

Last edited by Mrs. Danger; 08-04-07 at 08:01 PM.
Old 08-04-07, 08:29 PM
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I peed in a butt once.
Old 08-04-07, 08:35 PM
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I was at a party and about 15 guys used this a'hole's kayak as a urinal. He had it up on its side and everything. I really hope it didn't tip over, because a flood 'o pee would be a real downer.

-p
Old 08-04-07, 08:40 PM
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Originally Posted by pedagogue
I was at a party and about 15 guys used this a'hole's kayak as a urinal. He had it up on its side and everything. I really hope it didn't tip over, because a flood 'o pee would be a real downer.

-p
Yeah, he would be really 'pissed' off. Hahahahahahaha
Old 08-04-07, 09:03 PM
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The pipes all go to the same place ....
Old 08-04-07, 09:36 PM
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I'm reminded of the little kid in class who raised his hand to go to the bathroom. Before he could go the teacher made him recite the alphabet.
"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ", recited the kid.
"But where's the P?" asked the teacher.
"Running down my leg", replied the kid.

These two guys were hiking and one went into the woods to take a piss. A snake came out of nowhere and bit him on the dick. His buddy ran to the nearest town to find a doctor.
"Help!", the hiker exclaimed. "My friend has been bitten by a poisonous snake!"
The doctor told him to go back to his friend and "suck the poison out of the wound'.
The guy ran back to where his friend was lying in the woods.
"What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're gonna die."
Old 08-04-07, 10:00 PM
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My first roommate in college was a total dick. He would steal my clothes and wear them, use my cologne and shampoo, and was just a disagreeable a-hole in general. So I peed in his shampoo. But, knowing that he always used mine, I peed in my own too. I kept a smaller, secret bottle in my bed that I would only use when he wasn't around. Or I'd just shower in my GF's room.

I still get great pleasure knowing that he washed his hair with pee shampoo for that semester.
Old 08-04-07, 10:12 PM
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I sneezed so hard I peed my pants once...or twice....
Old 08-04-07, 10:44 PM
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I peed on a dead beaver a while ago
Old 08-04-07, 11:52 PM
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One of my friends got plastered one night. In his drunken sleep walked out into the living room, lifted the couch cushion and pissed all over the couch. He lowered the cushion and returned to bed. His girlfriend found it the next morning and was not happy since it was a brand new couch.

Another guy I used to know went over to his ex-girlfriend's trailer to get some his stuff back. She wasn't there and after grabbing his stuff, pissed all over the couch and left.
Old 08-05-07, 01:24 AM
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I was around 10 or so, and visiting my cousin's for a weekend. I woke up in the middle of the night, and had to pee really, really bad. For some reason, even though I've been there hundreds of times, I couldn't find the bathroom or light switches. I wandered around for a while, bumping into things, trying to get my bearing. After a while, I just gave up, found a wall, and started peeing. When I finally woke up in the morning, I couldn't find where I had peed, and nothing smelled.

I think this is the first time I've ever mentioned it to anyone.
Old 08-05-07, 02:14 AM
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Originally Posted by mhg83
This didn't happen to me but a friend of my older sisters. When she was in the third grade her classmate had to use the bathroom. The teacher was a real bitch and wouldn't allow him to leave. He kept telling her he really needed to go and she still wouldn't allow him to. So he decided to take things into his own hands by pulling down his pants and actually peed by his desk! The teacher was furious but the kid told her he really needed to go. Since I wasnt in the same class and never witnessed the incident, I'm not sure how true the story was. But the teacher had been known to be a real child hater so I wouldn't be surprised if it was true.
I have learned in my days to ALWAYS listen to kids if they say they have to piss. I've seen more than a couple take matters into their own hands if they were not allowed to go, with less than desirable results.

I guess mine was one time at work...I was sitting on the can and I didn't realize that some "spilled over" onto the floor...which in turn got the ass of my pants all wet. Luckily I found a hair dryer and was able to dry them with that, but the hair dryer burned part of the fabric and turned it black. I never wore the pants again after that day.
Old 08-05-07, 02:18 AM
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Originally Posted by rw2516
These two guys were hiking and one went into the woods to take a piss. A snake came out of nowhere and bit him on the dick. His buddy ran to the nearest town to find a doctor.
"Help!", the hiker exclaimed. "My friend has been bitten by a poisonous snake!"
The doctor told him to go back to his friend and "suck the poison out of the wound'.
The guy ran back to where his friend was lying in the woods.
"What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're gonna die."
That story ended in a different way in Brokeback Mountain.
Old 08-05-07, 02:20 AM
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Originally Posted by jw2299
My first roommate in college was a total dick. He would steal my clothes and wear them, use my cologne and shampoo, and was just a disagreeable a-hole in general. So I peed in his shampoo. But, knowing that he always used mine, I peed in my own too. I kept a smaller, secret bottle in my bed that I would only use when he wasn't around. Or I'd just shower in my GF's room.

I still get great pleasure knowing that he washed his hair with pee shampoo for that semester.
That's embarrassing for you? I think that's pretty funny! I'd tell the story with pride!
Old 08-05-07, 06:06 AM
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mostly-asleep/walking dead + needing to pee = laundry basket

-ringding-
Old 08-05-07, 10:00 AM
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Little kid, like under 8 years old, warning people in the vet's waiting room that my 65 pound dog might bark and snarl at their dogs. Then him doing 100% the opposite and sort of laying down and forcing me to push (to small to pull him by the leash) and 'scoot' him alllllll the way across the floor as he pees and everyone but me laughs.

funny now, embarrassing then, mostly due to the "warning" before hand.
Old 08-05-07, 05:53 PM
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In college, one of my fraternity brothers used to have his fridge raided all the time for beer. One day he had enough and told everyone at the next chapter meeting that he peed in one of the bottles in his fridge and replaced the cap, and that only he knew the secret marking on the bottle to distinguish it from the good beer. People stopped drinking his beer.
Old 08-05-07, 06:12 PM
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Originally Posted by matta
he peed in one of the bottles in his fridge and replaced the cap, and that only he knew the secret marking on the bottle to distinguish it from the good beer. .
What kind of deterrence is that???

Smell the beer before you drink it....if it smells like piss or is flat from being previously opened, grab another.
Old 08-05-07, 07:29 PM
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When I was in middle school/high school I went to this lacrosse camp, this kid use to take other people's gatorade and drink it. We all had a pretty good idea who it was, but wanted to test it out. We pissed in a gatorade bottle and evened out the color with some gatorade. We left it on the bench and about halfway through the game we see the kid try and drink it and spit it out and scream about someone pissing in 'his' gatorade. Good times!

One of my old captains had a peeing issue. His frosh year he woke up in the middle of the night, opened up his roommate's draw, pissed in it, and then went back to bed. His roommate was not happy. Another time he tried to piss out his sliding glass door...but it was closed.

My favorite piss story was my buddy who slept with this obscenely attractive girl, and the next morning woke up to realize he pissed in her bed. He got a glass of warm water threw it on himself, and then woke her up and blamed her for knocking it out of her hand, and getting it all over the bed. She figured out what happened, but he had already left. They weren't exactly friends after that.

-p
Old 08-05-07, 08:01 PM
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Was at a party at a friend's house once. This guy was passed out cold on the couch and just let go while we watched soaking his pants and the couch. Wasn't my house so was pretty funny.,
Old 08-05-07, 08:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Canadian Bacon
I peed on a dead beaver a while ago
Hey, I know her.


When I was in the first grade I went to a school that had round urinals that you stood around to do your bussiness. The water would come out of the center column, sort of like a fountain.

I switched states and schools halfway through the year. The first day at the new school I went into the bathroom and peed in a similar urinal.

It turned out to be a circular sink ( kind you push down a foot pad to make the water come out) in the girls bathroom.
Old 08-05-07, 08:51 PM
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Ahh...the circular urinal. They had a Trough in this old school irish bar I use to frequent. As long as you didn't cross streams, you were fine.

-p
Old 08-05-07, 08:52 PM
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I figured someone would post this by now.....supposedly a Cub's fan from 2005.

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-p
Old 08-05-07, 09:11 PM
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I have 2 stories that were pretty funny, but neither involve me.
1. My friend told us, that his young son likes to compete with him. And, about the only thing he could beat his dad at, was peeing. So, in public, they usually go in the same stall and go. Well, one time, his son got done first as usual, and bent over to pull his pants up. When he did, he put his head right in his dad's stream.

I can't wait until he's older to make fun of that.

2. The other one was a bachelor party that I couldn't go to. My friends were in a van with a keg, on the way to Atlantic City in the middle of winter. They pull over on this off ramp to take a leak. This one guy is going, and the wind blows his hat off and down the ditch. He say's I have to get this hat, it's my lucky hat. He stumbles down to the bottom, gets down to level ground, takes one more step towards his hat, and cracks through the ice into a stream! He finally gets out of there and everyone is dying.
Later on, they get to a casino, he checks his coat since it's all wet, and everyone could see steam coming off of him.
Later on the way home, he realizes the coat checker stole his glasses and wallet from his coat.
And, several months later, not pee related, but he's up in a deer stand with the same hat, and falls out and breaks his collar bone.

That is one lucky hat.

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