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New Volvo "Safety" features

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New Volvo "Safety" features

Old 04-16-07, 12:12 AM
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New Volvo "Safety" features

I've been seeing ads for the Volvo S80 - two of the safety items featured in ads are these:

1. A red light that flashes on your dash whenever a car is in your blindspot. This is the second stupidest safety feature I've heard of, you *must* turn your head and check out the blind spot yourself. I don't want people relying on a red light to tell them whether or not somebody is next to them. Besides, during city traffic that light is going to flashing every couple of seconds.

2. A sensor that detects the presence of a human in the car (detects a heartbeat)? OK, this is the stupidest safety feature I've heard of. How many times have you even heard of people hiding in vehicles to attack the driver? If a driver is that concerned, why don't they just glance in the back seat prior to unlocking the door?
Old 04-16-07, 12:43 AM
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They should just put a gun holster on the door....THAT would help.

-p
Old 04-16-07, 12:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Heat
How many times have you even heard of people hiding in vehicles to attack the driver?
I've heard it many times from my brother's friend's cousin and from random people over the internet!
Old 04-16-07, 12:53 AM
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All this innovation, and a car still can't tell you who dealt it.
Old 04-16-07, 01:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Shazam
All this innovation, and a car still can't tell you who dealt it.
That's an additional option you can get for the car. It automatically detects "he who smelt it" thus finding the culprit.
Old 04-16-07, 01:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Heat
I've been seeing ads for the Volvo S80 - two of the safety items featured in ads are these:

1. A red light that flashes on your dash whenever a car is in your blindspot. This is the second stupidest safety feature I've heard of, you *must* turn your head and check out the blind spot yourself. I don't want people relying on a red light to tell them whether or not somebody is next to them. Besides, during city traffic that light is going to flashing every couple of seconds.

2. A sensor that detects the presence of a human in the car (detects a heartbeat)? OK, this is the stupidest safety feature I've heard of. How many times have you even heard of people hiding in vehicles to attack the driver? If a driver is that concerned, why don't they just glance in the back seat prior to unlocking the door?
Volvo is catering the stupid and mentally retarded.

FYI. Global Warming bumper stickers are standard on all 2007 Volvos.
Old 04-16-07, 01:24 AM
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No trunk monkey? Volvo doesn't care about drivers.

Also, wouldn't the heart beat monitor always go off since the driver presumably has one as well, or does it tell you how many heartbeats are in the car? And if so, can it detect if an expectant mother will have twins?
Old 04-16-07, 01:27 AM
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How many kids are in the car? That's the Ford Escort WT XL you're thinking of.

How many DOGS are in the car? Now we're talkin' Volvo...
Old 04-16-07, 01:58 AM
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It scans for lifeforms? Tiny little lifeforms? Precious little lifeforms?
Old 04-16-07, 02:19 AM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
Also, wouldn't the heart beat monitor always go off since the driver presumably has one as well, or does it tell you how many heartbeats are in the car?
No doubt Lieutenant Commander Ben Finney isn't a fan of this new technology.
Old 04-16-07, 07:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Numanoid
It scans for lifeforms? Tiny little lifeforms? Precious little lifeforms?
"Eight meters...Seven...Six..."

"It can't be. That's inside the car."

"It's reading right, man! Look!"
Old 04-16-07, 08:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Heat
I've been seeing ads for the Volvo S80 - two of the safety items featured in ads are these:



2. A sensor that detects the presence of a human in the car (detects a heartbeat)? OK, this is the stupidest safety feature I've heard of. How many times have you even heard of people hiding in vehicles to attack the driver? If a driver is that concerned, why don't they just glance in the back seat prior to unlocking the door?
it's most likely aimed at working women who go home late and don't want to be raped by someone hiding in their car
Old 04-16-07, 09:29 AM
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Originally Posted by al_bundy
it's most likely aimed at working women who go home late and don't want to be raped by someone hiding in their car
As opposed to the new system that Toyota is testing, for women who do want to be be raped by someone hiding in their car.
Old 04-16-07, 09:36 AM
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Originally Posted by JustinS
"Eight meters...Seven...Six..."

"It can't be. That's inside the car."

"It's reading right, man! Look!"
Old 04-16-07, 09:40 AM
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Originally Posted by al_bundy
it's most likely aimed at working women who go home late and don't want to be raped by someone hiding in their car
According to Volvo's safety engineers, it's actually aimed at people who have just found the "smoking gun" linking the corporation they work for to financial malfeasance and who are about to take the file folder with the evidence to the crusty newspaper editor thereby exposing the evil CEO once and for all.
Old 04-16-07, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted by JustinS
"Eight meters...Seven...Six..."

"It can't be. That's inside the car."

"It's reading right, man! Look!"
Took me a second.
Old 04-16-07, 10:16 AM
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Originally Posted by JustinS
"Eight meters...Seven...Six..."

"It can't be. That's inside the car."

"It's reading right, man! Look!"
Classic
Old 04-16-07, 10:26 AM
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Originally Posted by pedagogue
They should just put a gun holster on the door....THAT would help.
Especially with the blind spot problem. Why risk neck injury looking at your blind spot, when you can just shoot back there and ENSURE that nobody will be in your way when you change lanes?
Old 04-16-07, 12:27 PM
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How about a strobe light that turns on when you're getting too distracted by the radio or your cell phone?
Old 04-16-07, 02:24 PM
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It sure would have helped Annie from that mean old Mike Meyers.
Old 04-16-07, 02:39 PM
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Just think, now people will rely on these so called safety features and when they wreck, they'll all blame the safety device. It's a great thing , just more distractions and an easier way to excuse reckless driving.


2. A sensor that detects the presence of a human in the car (detects a heartbeat)? OK, this is the stupidest safety feature I've heard of. How many times have you even heard of people hiding in vehicles to attack the driver? If a driver is that concerned, why don't they just glance in the back seat prior to unlocking the door?
My Celica has something almost like this. It's not near as technically advance, instead it simply monitors any weight on the front driver and passenger seat.
Old 04-16-07, 07:31 PM
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Originally Posted by LivingINClip
My Celica has something almost like this. It's not near as technically advance, instead it simply monitors any weight on the front driver and passenger seat.

Does the car let you know if you start getting a bit chubby?
Old 04-17-07, 12:57 AM
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Originally Posted by JustinS
"Eight meters...Seven...Six..."

"It can't be. That's inside the car."

"It's reading right, man! Look!"
Great stuff. I don't care much about cars but I am glad I came in the thread now.
Old 04-17-07, 08:44 AM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
No trunk monkey? Volvo doesn't care about drivers.

Also, wouldn't the heart beat monitor always go off since the driver presumably has one as well, or does it tell you how many heartbeats are in the car? And if so, can it detect if an expectant mother will have twins?
It tells you, via the key, as you are approching the car if someone is inside it.
Old 04-17-07, 02:08 PM
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I can't wait until one of these things causes Volvo to be sued

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