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Masturbating trespasser booted from frat (not what you think)

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Masturbating trespasser booted from frat (not what you think)

Old 03-29-07, 04:26 PM
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Masturbating trespasser booted from frat (not what you think)

Stolen from Sports Guy, but a great story nonetheless:

http://media.www.michigandaily.com/m...-2791352.shtml

Masturbating trespasser booted from frat
Woman refused to leave PIKE house in mid-afternoon

By Jessica Vosgerchian, Daily Staff Reporter
3/26/07

Police have been unable to locate a woman who entered the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity house without permission on Thursday and began to masturbate on a couch.

While fraternity members were eating in the dining room, a woman entered the house's living room, took off her clothes and started masturbating, said LSA junior Dan Nye, the president of the Washtenaw Avenue fraternity.

No one saw the woman enter the house or knew how she got in. Nye said she could have entered through the front door, which was left propped open while it was being repaired.

Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.

When members asked the woman if she was all right, she casually replied that she was fine, he said. The woman was talking on her cell phone at one point, said LSA sophomore Adam Bayard, a member of the fraternity.

She walked out of the front door wearing only a thigh-length black coat after a fraternity member called the police, Nye said. When police arrived minutes later, the woman had already left.

According to a police report, the woman was between 20 and 30 years old, had short brown hair and appeared to be under the influence of drugs.

"Obviously, she was very disturbed," Nye said. "It was not how a normal person would respond to people."

The woman told fraternity members that her name was Melissa and she was a student at Eastern Michigan University, according to the police report.

Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said.

Police said the break-in appeared to be an isolated incident.
Old 03-29-07, 04:30 PM
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Since when is Pi Kappa Alpha an all-gay frat?
Old 03-29-07, 04:33 PM
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There's your true love.
Old 03-29-07, 04:35 PM
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All these years I've been trying to get drugged up naked maturbating women into my house...
Old 03-29-07, 04:35 PM
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Originally Posted by pinata242
There's your true love.

Sounds hot to me.. Best line ever:

"Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said."
Old 03-29-07, 04:36 PM
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girl must have been really fugly
Old 03-29-07, 04:37 PM
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And no one took pictures...WTF?
Old 03-29-07, 04:38 PM
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Jeez, if I had to throw away a sofa every time a stranger comes in and masturbates on it...
Old 03-29-07, 04:42 PM
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Originally Posted by j123vt_99
"Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said."
I read that the other way at first. I thought they were adding a 2nd couch as bait.
Old 03-29-07, 04:48 PM
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i just want to hear the conversation they had with her throught the..."ordeal"
Old 03-29-07, 04:50 PM
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Hey, who knew frat boys were smart enough to stay away from crazy coochie?
Old 03-29-07, 04:51 PM
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So they waited half an hour before someone decided to call the police??

And there have to be pics.
Old 03-29-07, 04:53 PM
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If she was masturbating on one couch, why are they throwing TWO couches away? Sounds like all the spectators were on the other couch.
Old 03-29-07, 04:57 PM
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I bet her name is "Loosy Lucy" and she was just working out the frustrations of not getting any the night before....
Old 03-29-07, 04:57 PM
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Originally Posted by GreenEggs248
So they waited half an hour before someone decided to call the police??

And there have to be pics.
Yes, pretty much a given.
Old 03-29-07, 04:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Danger
Hey, who knew frat boys were smart enough to stay away from crazy coochie?
She must have been pretty nasty.
Old 03-29-07, 04:59 PM
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Originally Posted by j123vt_99
Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.

She walked out of the front door wearing only a thigh-length black coat after a fraternity member called the police, Nye said. When police arrived minutes later, the woman had already left.

only 30 minutes....?



Old 03-29-07, 05:00 PM
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Originally Posted by twikoff
girl must have been really fugly
Absolutely. If she were hot, not only would they have not reported her, but the video would have been all over the web by now.
Old 03-29-07, 05:03 PM
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Frat boys are used to their women being unconscious. Her talking must have frightened them.
Old 03-29-07, 05:27 PM
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I call Shenagians, naked woman on a couch and they call the police. We are not getting "The Rest of the Story" tm Paul Harvey News
Old 03-29-07, 05:58 PM
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Originally Posted by tublecane
I bet her name is "Loosy Lucy" and she was just working out the frustrations of not getting any the night before....
dude you gotta link to the other thread when you do that...
Old 03-29-07, 08:33 PM
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For the running commentary on the subject, click the following link. Some pretty funny stuff in there...

http://www.michigandaily.com/home/in...9-ead4b17f7f00
Old 03-29-07, 09:27 PM
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She must have been ugly if they called the cops.
Old 03-29-07, 11:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Rockmjd23
Frat boys are used to their women being unconscious. Her talking must have frightened them.


Yep. I was expecting the story to go like this:

Strange women enters house, starts masturbating....10 Frat members up on Rape/sexual battery charges. Video cameras, Digital cameras, and 5 computers held for evidence.
Old 03-30-07, 09:27 AM
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[Exits thread]...... holding back Duke joke..... [/exits thread]

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