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40 Things that ONLY happen in the Movies!

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40 Things that ONLY happen in the Movies!

Old 03-28-07, 09:43 PM
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40 Things that ONLY happen in the Movies!

40 things that only happen in movies:

1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.

2. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired.

4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside.

6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.

8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.

9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.

10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).

12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).

13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard . . .

15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).

16. Cars never need fuel (unless they're involved in a pursuit).

17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.

18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.

19. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.

20. All single women have a cat.

21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.

22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighborhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.

27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

28. It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly.

29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (it's called Stallone's Law).

30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.

31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.

33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.

34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.

38. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.

39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties).

40. Trucks use their horns at random (no hang on, that happens in real life too!).
Old 03-28-07, 09:49 PM
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grape or red....?
Old 03-28-07, 09:55 PM
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41. Lists like this will be posted every 6 months for as long as the Internet is around
Old 03-28-07, 10:36 PM
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42. Chuck Norris will always kick some ass
Old 03-28-07, 10:56 PM
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43. WTFOMG lolz
Old 03-28-07, 10:56 PM
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43. Everyones phone number starts with 555
Old 03-28-07, 11:19 PM
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44. people with problems like wergo are always fun and affable.
Old 03-28-07, 11:19 PM
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44. I read this same damn list at least 6 years ago.
Old 03-28-07, 11:48 PM
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45. If a car is driving at night the road is ALWAYS wet.
Old 03-28-07, 11:56 PM
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45. Cocktail waitresses can always provide a 'piece of the puzzle' in police investigations.
Old 03-29-07, 12:11 AM
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47. When a present is given to someone, the box and the lid are always wrapped separately so that no unwrapping of the present is actually involved.

sorry . . . always bugs me. I can live with the rest of the list.
Old 03-29-07, 12:27 AM
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48. After a night of hot, wild sex, the woman will wake up wearing her underwear, at a minimum.

49. Caves always have strange, natural lights that let people walk around with a small flashlight but see everything.

50. An abnormally large number of cars don't have rearview mirrors. Doesn't matter though since the actor doesn't actually look at the road when driving.

Last edited by Heat; 03-29-07 at 12:30 AM.
Old 03-29-07, 12:30 AM
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51. people who brush their teeth dont need to rinse their mouth out. they either spit or swallow!
Old 03-29-07, 01:41 AM
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The nerd gets the girl.
Old 03-29-07, 01:59 AM
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52. This should be in Movie Talk
Old 03-29-07, 07:33 AM
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53. People always take turns talking.

54. People never say things that don't make sense.
Old 03-29-07, 07:53 AM
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I found this list of 625 things more useful.
Old 03-29-07, 08:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Fincher Fan
The nerd gets the girl.

Followed by the inevitable "slow clap" as he beats the odds in front of a large group of people.
Old 03-29-07, 08:47 AM
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Villians always have to explain their entireplan to the hero they just capture before they try to kill the hero giving them enough time to escape and foil their plan.
Old 03-29-07, 09:08 AM
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55. Bad guys can always get passports that aren't in their real names.
Old 03-29-07, 09:19 AM
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56. There is no such thing as "morning breath" - people roll over in the morning and kiss each other anyway.

57. No one ever goes to the bathroom
Old 03-29-07, 09:24 AM
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58. Divorced women always receive a $300,000 house free and clear, as well as sufficient alimony to allow them to be SAHMs.
Old 03-29-07, 09:28 AM
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People don't close the refrigerator!
Old 03-29-07, 09:53 AM
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Tom Cruise has heterosexual sex.
Old 03-29-07, 09:56 AM
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People can jump from structures as high as 200 feet if not more and not even suffer a scratch.

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