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Marriage is not the new black.

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Marriage is not the new black.

Old 10-15-06, 01:08 PM
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Marriage is not the new black.






To Be Married Means to Be Outnumbered
By SAM ROBERTS

Married couples, whose numbers have been declining for decades as a proportion of American households, have finally slipped into a minority, according to an analysis of new census figures by The New York Times.

The American Community Survey, released this month by the Census Bureau, found that 49.7 percent, or 55.2 million, of the nation’s 111.1 million households in 2005 were made up of married couples — with and without children — just shy of a majority and down from more than 52 percent five years earlier.

The numbers by no means suggests marriage is dead or necessarily that a tipping point has been reached. The total number of married couples is higher than ever, and most Americans eventually marry. But marriage has been facing more competition. A growing number of adults are spending more of their lives single or living unmarried with partners, and the potential social and economic implications are profound.

“It just changes the social weight of marriage in the economy, in the work force, in sales of homes and rentals, and who manufacturers advertise to,” said Stephanie Coontz, director of public education for the Council on Contemporary Families, a nonprofit research group. “It certainly challenges the way we set up our work policies.”

While the number of single young adults and elderly widows are both growing, Professor Coontz said, “we have an anachronistic view as to what extent you can use marriage to organize the distribution and redistribution of benefits.”

Couples decide to live together for many reasons, but real estate can be as compelling as romance.

“Owning three toothbrushes and finding that they are always at the wrong house when you are getting ready to go to bed wears on you,” said Amanda Hawn, a 28-year-old writer who set up housekeeping near San Francisco with her boyfriend, Nate Larsen, a real estate analyst, after shuttling between his apartment and one she shared with a friend. “Moving in together has simplified life,” Ms. Hawn said.

The census survey estimated that 5.2 million couples, a little more than 5 percent of households, were unmarried opposite-sex partners. An additional 413,000 households were male couples, and 363,000 were female couples. In all, nearly one in 10 couples were unmarried. (One in 20 households consisted of people living alone).

And the numbers of unmarried couples are growing. Since 2000, those identifying themselves as unmarried opposite-sex couples rose by about 14 percent, male couples by 24 percent and female couples by 12 percent.

Matt Foreman, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, said gay couples were undercounted because many gay people were reluctant to disclose their sexual orientation. But he said that inhibition seemed to be fading.

“I would say the increase is due to people feeling more comfortable disclosing that they are gay or lesbian and living with a partner,” he said.

The survey did not ask about sexual orientation, but its questionnaire was designed to distinguish partners from roommates. A partner was defined as “an adult who is unrelated to the householder, but shares living quarters and has a close personal relationship with the householder.”

Some of the biggest gains in unmarried couples were recorded in unexpected places. In the rural Midwest, the number of households made up of male partners rose 77 percent since 2000.

The survey revealed wide disparities in household composition by place. The proportion of married couples ranged from more than 69 percent in Utah County, Utah, which includes Provo, to 26 percent in Manhattan, which has a smaller share of married couples than almost anyplace in the country. But Manhattan registered a 1.2 percent increase in married couples since 2000, in contrast to the rest of New York City and many other places.

Among counties, the highest proportion of unmarried opposite-sex partners was in Mendocino, Calif., where they made up nearly 11 percent of all households.

The highest share of male couples was in San Francisco, where, according to the census, they accounted for nearly 2 percent of all households. In Manhattan, they made up 1 percent of households. Hampshire County, Mass., home to Northampton, had the highest proportion of female couples, at 1.7 percent. Some of the highest numbers of unmarried couples were recorded in the South, which as defined by the census, has the largest population of any region.

[snip]

With more competition from other ways of living, the proportion of married couples has been shrinking for decades. In 1930, they accounted for about 84 percent of households. By 1990 the proportion of married couples had declined to about 56 percent.


Full Article

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Save for Groucho and his kind, marriage is now the minority. You can all party.

Can you imagine if the trend continues and in 2050 only 25% of households are married? That's going to be a bit strange.
Old 10-15-06, 01:16 PM
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Somehow, somewhere, somebody will find a way to blame this on the gays.
Old 10-15-06, 03:15 PM
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It's thier fault for not being allowed to marry.
Old 10-15-06, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Groucho
Somehow, somewhere, somebody will find a way to blame this on the gays.
Someone already did.

Originally Posted by Nameless Bigot
Save ... Groucho and his kind
Old 10-15-06, 03:43 PM
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It's all good Groucho. Love from the hood.
Old 10-15-06, 05:49 PM
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In the overwhelming majority of cases, marriages are not meant to last until "death do us part". People either grow apart or just get sick of the other person (or both). Just my opinion...
Old 10-15-06, 06:25 PM
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There was a time when marriage was about family not just joining two people. Marriage was a business relationship first and love second. Marriage was like a contract to better each other and to work for greater good of the family. To put it in simple terms, marriage has lost it commitment.

Marriage now is more like being boyfriend and girlfriend with more risk to your property if you are a guy. I doubt seriously if most people think past the first year when deciding to get married. The get caught up in the fairy tale that love will fix everything so they don't think on what they will do when the wife puts on a few more punds or when hubby has to work two jobs and have no time for you.

I guess some many marriages are formed in fear. Fear of being alone. Getting to old to have kids. Or maybe pressure from outside sources. These are all doomed.
Old 10-15-06, 07:09 PM
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Marriage for love is a relatively new development. But both the marriage-as-business and marriage-for-love, until recently, did have both parties committed to making it work; now many people see it as 'till we get bored', and don't realize it's not always going to be peaches and cream, and split up when the excitement/lust/infatuation wavers. I think the selfishness and egocentrism that really began in force in the 60's, and is very visible today, is a big part of that--a marriage is a partnership, and each person should think of what they can do for the other person, instead of what they personally get out of it.
Anyway, in my extended family there's one separation [a cousin] and I think my grandfather was my grandmother's second husband [I think my aunt is my dad's stepsister or halfsister], and there was one child out of wedlock, but other than that, lots of marriages--that last--or singletons.
Old 10-15-06, 07:17 PM
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There is no incentive for me to get married. I worked too damn hard to earn my money and I don't see why I should give 20% of it up when my wife gets bored.

There is an incentive for women to divorce. Got bored? Get divorced and get a free house, car, 20% or so of my income. Get the kids plus money to raise them. And the money for the kids is not related to how much it takes to raise a kid but to my income.

Fuck it, I don't think so.
Old 10-15-06, 07:31 PM
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Stupidest Poll ever.
Old 10-15-06, 07:35 PM
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Happily divorced (we even still talk) and confirmed bachelor for life. Thankfully no kids, but she did end up with the house which was bullshit even though it was evenly ours. If I had bought the entire thing and lost it, I guarantee I would have burned the fucker to the ground before I would have given it up. I still believe in marriage as being the glue for society, but its just not for me. And after 5 years of being single, I am too set in my ways of not having to answer to any woman about how to spend or where my money goes. FUCK THAT.
Old 10-15-06, 08:05 PM
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Originally Posted by CinemaNut
Happily divorced (we even still talk) and confirmed bachelor for life. Thankfully no kids, but she did end up with the house which was bullshit even though it was evenly ours. If I had bought the entire thing and lost it, I guarantee I would have burned the fucker to the ground before I would have given it up. I still believe in marriage as being the glue for society, but its just not for me. And after 5 years of being single, I am too set in my ways of not having to answer to any woman about how to spend or where my money goes. FUCK THAT.
And that's fine. I think a lot of divorces occur between people who shouldn't have gotten married in the first place [this is not directed at you]; either they or their partner aren't ready for a commitment, or they don't have similar goals in the marriage, or it's just the wrong person, or they marry for the wrong reasons, etc.
I agree that in many cases the settlements, both financially and family [children], are inherently biased against the husband, and presuppose the husband is 'guilty' or the woman is 'dependent'. Ironic, since we've had forty years of feminism to tell us a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bike. And in some cases, the child's welfare is secondary or tertiary, unfortunately.
Old 10-15-06, 11:11 PM
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I love marriage.
Old 10-15-06, 11:36 PM
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Progress.
Old 10-16-06, 12:21 AM
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I've been living with my girlfriend for about six years now.

Even though she is, for all intents and purposes, my wife, neither of us has any desire to take the plunge and make it official. Though I suspect that we would qualify as being a common law marriage.

In the near future we're going to be building a house and splitting the cost, so we might go ahead and do a quickie wedding for strictly financial purposes if there's any kind of advantage to be had in that regard. But neither of us really want to because we're both quite satisfied with our current arrangement.

Ironically, our relationship has outlasted about half of the marriages in our friend/peer group. And we're still going strong. :up

Last edited by Josh-da-man; 10-16-06 at 12:27 AM.
Old 10-16-06, 03:14 AM
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I live with my girlfriend of two years. I hope to stay that way for at least another 5 years. Hopefully, by that point, I'll have found out whether or not we'll stay together throughout any problems.

At the moment, though, it's better for us financially to live together.
Old 10-16-06, 10:57 AM
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100% of the people in my household are married, and as of last Thursday, more than one decade.
Old 10-16-06, 10:59 AM
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Originally Posted by wendersfan
100% of the people in my household are married, and as of last Thursday, more than one decade.
Wow, 10 years already?

Shouldn't you and your wife move out of your parents' basement?
Old 10-16-06, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Randy Miller III
Wow, 10 years already?

Shouldn't you and your wife move out of your parents' basement?
We would, but then I wouldn't have a place to display all my Star Wars action figures.
Old 10-16-06, 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted by wendersfan
We would, but then I wouldn't have a place to display all my printed Political Statistics posters.
Fixed. God I love other!

Me, I'm married, and so is my wife.
Old 10-16-06, 11:15 AM
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Originally Posted by VinVega
Fixed. God I love other!
Vin, all those go on my office door at work.
Old 10-16-06, 11:21 AM
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Originally Posted by VinVega
Fixed. God I love other!

Me, I'm married, and so is my wife.
To each other?
Old 10-16-06, 11:24 AM
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Just got married, so 95% of my household is married. Our cat, however, kinda has to stay a bachelor, if you know what I mean.
Old 10-16-06, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
To each other?
Et cetera.
Old 10-16-06, 11:30 AM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
To each other?
Well, unless I lived in Groucho-land, it would have to be that way, wouldn't it?

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