atari2600

i will try to be as honest as possible:

a) until about 2 weeks ago, id probably play on average 2 SnGs online at absolutepoker. so its about an hour/hour and half per day (average). sometimes id play 3-4 a day and sometimes none for 3 straight days (in fact, there would be some days id play a ton but it would average out because many days i wouldnt play at all). but on average, ~2 per day. always low stakes ($.50 or $1.00). havent played a game in well over a week.

b) doing this i had well over doubled my initial buy in (ie, i was doing well). frankly, i wasnt playing the online SnGs for money (it wasnt my job, it wasnt to try and make enough to buy something for myself, it wasnt to pay the bills, etc) because it was such low stakes. the only reason i did play for money is because playing free rolls or with fake money ends up being stupid poker and no one tries. i wanted SOME semblance of real poker (granted for only a dollar you still get lots of stupid plays) but its still significantly better than play money.

[note: i just took all my money out of absolute poker but because of the new legislation going on...not because of anything else...when i realize its safe to keep my money there, ill probably put some back]

c) i never have and never will ever play with money i need or cannot afford to lose. ive always had this mindset and have very good money management. when i go to vegas to play poker/blackjack i only take money that i can afford to give up and always assume its gone even before i step inside a casino. if i come back with anything, its a bonus and often i at least come back even.

d) while i do get angry playing poker online, its always goes away after a short while and i never take it out on anyone else. in person, for some reason i NEVER get angry...even bad beats i shrug them off. yet for a dollar, ill get angry when a bad beat hits me online. go figure.

e) in terms of going to casinos to play live poker, there are a few options here in california. but id rarely ever go. in fact, before the last week i had gone to commerce only once and pechanga once (and that was to see a show...was able to play a few hours of poker afterwards).

now the reason i bring all of this up is because my gf was out of town for a weekand i saw this as a good opportunity to play some poker. like i said, i basically NEVER got to go play while shes here. and NOT because she says i cant go. if i wanted to, i could. but we always have something to do on the weekends (i never go on weekdays) or somewhere to be. stuff comes up.

but when she was gone, i figured what better time to go? shes out of town, i got time to burn, and i love poker. so i went on 3 different nights. its about a 45 minute drive at most and each time i won. now since i only take about $100 and its money i can afford to lose, winning or losing shouldnt even be an issue (but the fact that i won each time is bonus in my mind).

so when she gets back, i tell her i went. her FIRST instinct is "what? why? 3 times?!" with this almost concerned look on her face. later on when i asked why she reacted like that, she says "i think you are addicted to poker"

im like "why would you suggest that?" (the word addiction is harsh IMO and uncalled for...its a serious accusation)

her explanation is that "because it seemed you HAD to go the first chance you got (ie, when she left) and if its not that, you have to get your "poker fix" online"

that bothered me. true i went because she was gone but (a) when shes here i dont go (b) it was convinient and (c) why cant i go?! its just poker. i thought its better to go while shes not here so that i get to play poker and shes not bored (she cant go because it is really boring if you arent playing so i understand that). so id think i was being considerate about it...it would be much worse if i went while shes here.

recap:
a) i rarely go to poker rooms, except recently when the gf was out of town
b) i play ~1-2 SnGs online per day for low stakes
c) i never play with money i cant afford to lose
d) ive never missed work, appointments, anything because of poker
e) i let my emotions get to me online but never in person and i never take it out on anyone


am i addicted? maybe im not seeing something or maybe i dont understand the true definition of addicted.

El Scorcho

You're not addicted, you just have a girlfriend like Matt Damon's g/f in Rounders.

There are a ton of g/fs of guys in the poker community that bitch and moan about their guys playing poker. I've had one or two. Most of them shut the fuck up when I show them my spreadsheet of 25 winning months in a row now and the amount that I've won.

atari2600

well i dont have a spreadsheet to show her because my winnings are not much because i play such low stakes (i play for fun, not for a paycheck). but the fact that im actually winning anything should be enough.

and frankly i dont think its the money shes worried about (she knows how good i am at money management). its the time. she thinks i play too much timewise. buts it just a hobby, like anything else. and like i said, it doesnt take over my life, i dont miss appointments or work, etc.

gimmepilotwings

what he said.

My wife sometimes gives me the bitch attitude because I used to play too much. All I have to do is have her look at her new furniture in our living room/bedroom for her to remember how we paid for it.

atari2600

but like i said, i dont play for the money. i was making maybe $50 a month. ie, nothing significant. but i wasnt doing it for the money. so i cant just show her the dvd i bought with poker winnings and expect her to be ok with it. its just a hobby and i dont think ive done anything wrong. if i was blowing $4000 a month at poker and missing work to play a tourney, id understand. but i dont do that.

El Scorcho

Ask her how many times she has wanted to do something with you and you didn't because of poker.

Ask her how many days of work she can remember you missing because of poker.

Ask her to name one time where you've called her an addict for enjoying a hobby.

If it were any other activity (such as playing frisbee golf) she wouldn't be speaking up. However, poker has such a tarnished reputation because everyone associates it with you're-going-to-lose-everything-you-own gambling. That's why she's speaking up and complaining.

Are you sure she isn't Bill Frist's daughter?

atari2600

that right there nails it on the head.

Red Dog

at the fact that few options to play poker in CA = 45 minute drive.

If you live in our nation's capital, like I do, the closest place to play poker is 4+ hours away in Atlantic City.

Nesbit

Would Foxwoods be closer?

NotThatGuy

I'm too lazy to read your post or type out a response, but check HERE .

"persistent and recurrent maladaptive gambling behavior" is the major pt. of reference. If this is true, then look at the sub-criteria.

-p

mgbfan

My wife never complains. It doesn't hurt to stick a couple hundred dollar bills in her fist and tell her to go nuts now and again after a cash-in. She also enjoys the big screen HDTV, the sound system, the leather sofa set, the vacation to Punta Cana, the ....

Let's just say she encourages my little hobby.

atari2600

common theme seems to be "my wife/gf doesnt complain as long as i buy her lots of cool stuff with the winnings"

Red Dog

No, unless they recently moved CT south of NJ and I didn't get the memo.

actyper

the point is, women will always use "gambling" as ammo during a fight. The bigger point is, your always wrong.

mgbfan

Haha! All the better for me - I've actually convinced my wife that poker isn't gambling. How many guys can say that?

actyper

The ones that married blonds.

atari2600

unfortunately for me, she doesnt use it (she cant - she knows i dont spend a lot of money, spend "important" money and that i have great money management skills). my problem is just the time being spent playing poker. she thinks i play too much. how can i change her mind on that one?

atari2600

actually, maybe i can convince her now after this: http://forum.dvdtalk.com/showthread.php?t=479859

mgbfan

Haha. Well, I can show her a $75 deposit I made 5 years ago and how that's translated into deep 5 figures. She's bright enough to see that as a very lucrative investment, not "gambling."

Lord Rick

I'll just say that it sounds like you've got some addiction going. The fact that you played every day she was gone, as soon as she was gone. That you play online every day.

I'm not saying you're going to lose everything - far from it. But it does seem like it has a powerful grip on your free time. Sort of like being addicted to the internet.

Do you do anything else? Other hobbies? Spend time with friends, not playing poker?

atari2600

i played 3 days out of 8 she was gone. once or twice in maybe a year when she was here. so 4-5 times in about a year. holy shit.

every day online? did you even read my post?

yes.

Lord Rick

Yes, I did. You said:

"b) i play ~1-2 SnGs online per day for low stakes"

Am I missing something?

atari2600

yes you are:

"sometimes none for 3 straight days"

"many days i wouldnt play at all"

"havent played a game in well over a week"

(are you sure you read it all?)

and i havent played one online poker game in over 3 weeks now either.

Lord Rick

Look, I quoted you directly. You contradicted yourself w/in your post. Which one am I supposed to pick?

Good for you for not playing for awhile. I didn't mean to offend, just trying to give an opposing viewpoint. I didn't realize you only wanted opinions that agreed with you, but then again, this is the internet.

atari2600

but you made it clear you did not read the entire post.

opposing viewpoints are nice but only when they actually read the entire post. sorry i cant take your opinion too seriously (but wasnt offended) when you only read one line out of 100. you seem way too quick to judge.