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What is your most hated office 'cliche' witty remark?

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What is your most hated office 'cliche' witty remark?

Old 08-21-06, 03:00 PM
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What is your most hated office 'cliche' witty remark?

Among the least favorite:

- you walk out for lunch and walk back in to grab your keys and someone says "Wow. That was a fast lunch"

- you (bob) are sitting at a different desk and someone says "wow. karen, you sure have changed"

- the classic "TGIF"

- "are you working hard or hardly working?"

feel free to add your own

also, taking a pre-emptive strike on the following:

"that's what she said"
"pee in your butt"

Last edited by j123vt_99; 08-21-06 at 03:04 PM.
Old 08-21-06, 03:12 PM
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- you walk out for lunch and walk back in to grab your keys and someone says "Wow. That was a fast lunch"

- you (bob) are sitting at a different desk and someone says "wow. karen, you sure have changed"
DAMMIT! I've actually heard both of these already today, and it's only monday.

There is a guy over on the other side of the building who yells "GIT R DONE" a lot. That sucks.
Old 08-21-06, 03:13 PM
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It's seems the OP has a case of the Mondays!
Old 08-21-06, 03:14 PM
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Not in an office, I work at Best Buy, but I hear many of those, in fact, I say 'working hard hardly working'
Old 08-21-06, 03:14 PM
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I hate it when I'm at the water cooler getting a drink of water and all the college aged hot intern chicks walk up and cup my balls while licking their lips whispering their sweet talk into my ear and shit.....
Old 08-21-06, 03:17 PM
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One time I had mentioned that I wanted to "stab someone in the face with a letter opener", and HR made me leave work until I got approval from a doctor to safely return to work.

Seriously.
Old 08-21-06, 03:17 PM
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Walking back in from lunch or an errand or whatever and pass a coworker going the other way and they proceed to tell me I'm "heading the wrong way!'

I'd rather them not talk to me.
Old 08-21-06, 03:19 PM
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About the only ones I hear on a regular basis are 'thank god it's Friday' or 'is it Friday yet?'. Usually there are a couple swear words inserted as well.
Old 08-21-06, 03:19 PM
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"Here's something else for you to do -- no hurry, just when you get time," and then they check with you every ten minutes to see when you've done it.
Old 08-21-06, 03:19 PM
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I work in the IT field in an office building, so I hear a lot of them each day.

Some that really get to me.

- "It is what it is."

- "Let's take this offline." Said in a meeting situation where discussion not relevant to the meeting occurs. Someone will said the mentioned line.

I'm sure I have more that annoy me, but I haven't heard them yet today.

Neither of which are really witty.. Why did I even bother posting?

I must have a case of the Mondays.
Old 08-21-06, 03:21 PM
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I hear 'you're fired' way too often.
Old 08-21-06, 03:22 PM
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For some reason I don't want to talk about my weekends with people, but they're always asking me. What did you do this weekend? What are you doing this weekend? I dunno, sometimes I'm just not in the mood for small talk.
Old 08-21-06, 03:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Vibiana
"Here's something else for you to do -- no hurry, just when you get time," and then they check with you every ten minutes to see when you've done it.
Yes, that always means right away, now bitch!
Old 08-21-06, 03:25 PM
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I think we should open this up to pet peeves, not just cliche remarks.....

I hate those fuckers that take the last cup of coffee and don't make a new pot. one fo these days, I'm coming in with my Glock locked and loaded and I'm gonna let my rain wash all the filth off the streets.....
Old 08-21-06, 03:28 PM
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"What are our take-aways?"

"What are our lessons learned?"

"We're not there yet."
Old 08-21-06, 03:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Minor Threat
I think we should open this up to pet peeves, not just cliche remarks.....

I hate those fuckers that take the last cup of coffee and don't make a new pot. one fo these days, I'm coming in with my Glock locked and loaded and I'm gonna let my rain wash all the filth off the streets.....
We have fools do that EVERY FREAKIN DAY!! They leave about an inch left and to make matters worse it sits there BURNING.. Bastards.. I'm too weak to call them out on it
Old 08-21-06, 03:32 PM
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hey.. quit hijacking the thread.. jk
Old 08-21-06, 03:32 PM
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"Doctor, I have gas."
"Doctor I have diarrhea."
"Doctor I feel bloated."
Old 08-21-06, 03:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Minor Threat
one fo these days, I'm coming in with my Glock locked and loaded and I'm gonna let my rain wash all the filth off the streets.....
Please leave and don't return until you have a note from your physician.


My boss is fond of the phrase "low-hanging fruit." As in, I have a list of things to do, but he wants me to take care of any easy things first to get them out of the way. "Let's knock off that low-hanging fruit."

One day I called him on it.

"What's with you and 'low-hanging fruit'?"
"What do you mean? That's a common phrase, isn't it?"
"You're the only person I've ever heard use it."
(Incredulous, he asks other people in my group, all of whom agree with me)
"Well, I guess I'm the only one who says it. But you know what it means, so it's okay."
"You mean 'easy stuff', right?"
"Yeah."
"So why not say 'easy stuff'? 'Let's do the easy stuff first.' It's even fewer syllables."

He laughed, but I'm pretty sure he's said it since then.
Old 08-21-06, 03:41 PM
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Can someone compose a couple of sentences or a paragraph with some office-speak? I love that crap and it would really make me laugh. Thank you. Phrases such as "low hanging fruit" and "Looking at this from 30,000 feet..." are what I'm talking about. You know, the phrases managers get from reading mangerial self help books. Hey can we synergize something here folks? Thanks.
Old 08-21-06, 03:43 PM
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Originally Posted by VinVega
Can someone compose a couple of sentences or a paragraph with some office-speak? I love that crap and it would really make me laugh. Thank you. Phrases such as "low hanging fruit" and "Looking at this from 30,000 feet..." are what I'm talking about. You know, the phrases managers get from reading mangerial self help books. Hey can we synergize something here folks? Thanks.

hey.. just like work.. pushing stupid crap on to other people.. way to keep with the spirit of the thread
Old 08-21-06, 03:43 PM
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You need to start thinking more out of the box on how to obtain the low hanging fruit. Collaborative thinking can ensure a more robust workplace environment.
Old 08-21-06, 03:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Minor Threat
You need to start thinking more out of the box on how to obtain the low hanging fruit. Collaborative thinking can ensure a more robust workplace environment.
That's the 30,000 foot view, and that dog don't hunt. We need to improve our core competencies to create more value-add for our key customer base. That's where the rubber hits the road, so we can make sure everyone is singing out the same hymnal.
Old 08-21-06, 03:48 PM
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I hear "let's think outside the box" quite a bit. But my least favorite office term is "Robust" damn I bet I hear that fkn word 20 times a day at least.

how about when you take a vacation day or you are sick one day out of the week. Isn't it awesome when you come back to work and the first person you see says "glad you decided to show up"?

Or if your boss knows you're going to be a little late in the morning and when you get there at like 7:45 A.M. he still says "good afternoon"
Old 08-21-06, 03:48 PM
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Everyday it seems I have to work very hard to save my organization from "management by in-flight magazine".

Fuck it, I'm going home and having a beer. If the place catches fire, somebody save my 18" Ash.

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