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An open letter to those who put Candy out on thier desks in the office

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An open letter to those who put Candy out on thier desks in the office

Old 07-14-06, 12:32 PM
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An open letter to those who put Candy out on thier desks in the office

Yeah you know who you are!

You like all the visitors to your desk! (95% of the people just grab something as they walk buy without acknowledging your existence).
But when you run out of candy they have no problem asking if you have any more!

But do you realize how annoying it is to the rest of us to hear people unwrapping candy all day long, people sucking on candy, the sound of hard candy clanking on peoples teeth all day long, the crunch of people chewing the hard candy all day long!!!

Every fat ass in the office feels compelled to grab candy as they walk by! Some lard asses will even walk by, stop short (when they realize that there is candy back in the basket), pivot, and grab some, then proceed to walk away at their usual "I need this yesterday" pace.

- As I'm writing this someone just got up from their desk for the express purpose of getting some free candy and going right back to their desk.


Ahhhhh!! The Candy girl's desk is a direct view from my desk so I have to see and watch all these fat asses all day - mooching, unwrapping said candy as they walk away, and sucking on this crap all day long!!! I hope someone chokes to death on this shit.

End Rant
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Old 07-14-06, 12:36 PM
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settle down. here, have some candy.
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Old 07-14-06, 12:37 PM
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does the baby want a candy?
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Old 07-14-06, 12:39 PM
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Have some M&M's there is a jar on my desk I have plain and peanut.
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Old 07-14-06, 12:41 PM
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Poor guy. The sound of tiny peices of cellophane is driving him crazy.
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Old 07-14-06, 12:44 PM
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Originally Posted by movie diva
Have some M&M's there is a jar on my desk I have plain and peanut.
What no peanut butter?
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Old 07-14-06, 12:46 PM
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Pfft, Whatever. Ill just grap some while you're at lunch.
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Old 07-14-06, 12:49 PM
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An Open Letter to Smartasses Who Dare To Impugn My Generosity By Either Bitching About Other People Eating Candy Or Never Offering To Help Fill The Jar

I've been a secretary for 22 years. Most places I've worked, I have a candy jar on my desk. Some might think it's because I am a huge, behemoth-like fatgirlperson, but frankly, I have found it easier to get to know people when I make the gesture. As an office temp, I always had a candy jar on my desk.

But. CANDY DOES NOT GROW WILD IN THE DAMN JAR. If you are going to come around all the time, slavering at the chops, you are, shall we say, honor bound to feed the beast now and then. Bring me a bag of M&Ms once in a while -- or a few Jolly Ranchers -- or what the hell, even bring me that cheap shit hard candy your kids won't eat at Halloween.

Just please don't stand there at my desk and say "Don't you have any GOOD candy?" or "How come you don't have any CHOCOLATE here?" I'm a secretary, pal. I make less money than you wasted on your stocks last year. Take the hint.


Last edited by Vibiana; 07-14-06 at 12:58 PM.
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Old 07-14-06, 12:52 PM
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I love the candy jars. Especially if there is chocolate in it.
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Old 07-14-06, 12:54 PM
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Old 07-14-06, 12:54 PM
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You tell them Vibiana! Cause when the candy is gone they miss it.
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Old 07-14-06, 12:59 PM
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I think "CPA-ESQ" (ooh!) needs to move up the corporate chain a bit so he can get his own office with a door that closes to shut out thos oh-so-annoying tiny sounds.
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Old 07-14-06, 01:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Vibiana
[I][B]Just please don't stand there at my desk and say "Don't you have any GOOD candy?" or "How come you don't have any CHOCOLATE here?"
When someone says those things you should say, "That's it pal, you're on the 'No Candy List!'". Then take a quick Polaroid of them and tape it next to the jar.
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Old 07-14-06, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Numanoid
When someone says those things you should say, "That's it pal, you're on the 'No Candy List!'". Then take a quick Polaroid of them and tape it next to the jar.


I may try this, Numa
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Old 07-14-06, 01:30 PM
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Originally Posted by drmoze
I think "CPA-ESQ" (ooh!) needs to move up the corporate chain a bit so he can get his own office with a door that closes to shut out thos oh-so-annoying tiny sounds.
I would love to get an office! But we have a Trading Desk style setup here. Even the President of the company shares an office (Which there are 2 of)

Candy Girl now has some chicks by her desk so
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Old 07-14-06, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Vibiana
[I][B] Some might think it's because I am a huge, behemoth-like fatgirlperson, but frankly, I have found it easier to get to know people when I make the gesture. As an office temp, I always had a candy jar on my desk.
First, you are not. Second, what a nice ice breaker, a candy dish. I never thought of that. (Byt I'm been with the same company 16 years so I know everyone here.)

Just so you know, my supervisor has a candy dish and occasionally I will bring in a few bags of candy to fill it. Especially say, when I'd forgotten I like Bit-O-Honeys and I ate them all, but I just bring her a few bags just because too.
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Old 07-14-06, 01:46 PM
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Vibiana, I think your candy jar requires this disclaimer - "One minute on the lips, one lifetime on the hips".
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Old 07-14-06, 02:22 PM
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I'm sick of all the candy jars, what's all that shit about anyway? Why not some beef jerky jars or hot peanut jars or something useful like that?
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Old 07-14-06, 02:25 PM
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i keep a bowl of peanuts at my desk.. typically people dont come over with the sole purpose of getting some.. but most people that come by and talk to me, generally grab a handful.. which is exactly what they are for

and the great thing is.. it opens it up for me to make so many jokes.. "get your hands off my nuts" "you sure seem to enjoy my nuts" etc...
now THATS an icebreaker
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Old 07-14-06, 02:26 PM
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Shelled or unshelled?
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Old 07-14-06, 02:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Minor Threat
I'm sick of all the candy jars, what's all that shit about anyway? Why not some beef jerky jars or hot peanut jars or something useful like that?
Why stop there? Pickled eggs, pig ears and snoots ... what the hell, I'll just open a damn deli ...
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Old 07-14-06, 02:43 PM
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- We use to have this one guy working here that would always keep a bag of the hersheys minitures on his desk (and a spare bag in the drawer). He was the only guy that worked in a department of about 10 women.

He use to laugh and say the chocolate was the only thing keeping him alive. When an irate female coworker walked into his office, he would make them take some chocolate and eat a couple before they spoke to him. The only things that would calm the savage females
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Old 07-14-06, 02:44 PM
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I would never take unwrapped candy out of a jar that everyone is eating out of Now some nice Werthers Originals on the other hand....
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Old 07-14-06, 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted by astrochimp
I would never take unwrapped candy out of a jar that everyone is eating out of
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Old 07-14-06, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Vibiana
But. CANDY DOES NOT GROW WILD IN THE DAMN JAR. If you are going to come around all the time, slavering at the chops, you are, shall we say, honor bound to feed the beast now and then.

Well, you learn something new every day.

18 years in corporate America and I never knew I was expected to put candy in the jar.

I never complain about the candy, though.
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