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Man sues Michael Jordan....for looking like him???

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Man sues Michael Jordan....for looking like him???

Old 07-07-06, 04:41 PM
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Man sues Michael Jordan....for looking like him???

For $832 MILLION!!!!



http://www.khou.com/topstories/stori....35bb5dfd.html
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Old 07-07-06, 04:49 PM
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Based on that photo, I'd say he has a good case.
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Old 07-07-06, 04:50 PM
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He should sue Wesley Snipes, too.


Last edited by orangerory; 07-07-06 at 05:02 PM.
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Old 07-07-06, 04:50 PM
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I bet you Allen Heckard has never royally fucked up a first round draft pick, though!
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Old 07-07-06, 04:56 PM
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He looks more like Kenny Smith
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Old 07-07-06, 04:57 PM
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I'm sure Michael Jordan has been having just as difficult a time with people constantly approaching him asking "Hey aren't you Allen Heckard?"
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Old 07-07-06, 04:57 PM
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"I figure if I'm out in public and around a lot of people at least three or four times out of a crowd ...and like I was at the Blues Festival and you could see people they was pointing at me," he said.

Some might wonder how he decided to sue Knight and Jordan for $416-million each. "Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and ah, then I turn around and ah I figure that's what it all boils down to."

The question remains – is the occasional confusion with an admired celebrity worth $800 million.

“Well,” said Heckard, “You never can put a value on a person's life. You know you're taking my lifestyle away from me. So you know...we'll let the ball bounce like Michael does...where it’s supposed to fall."
....
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Old 07-07-06, 05:01 PM
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The judge should put this guy in jail for wasting everyone's time.
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Old 07-07-06, 05:03 PM
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If he was really like Jordan, he would gamble his 800 million away.
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Old 07-07-06, 05:09 PM
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"...then I turn around and I figure that's what it all boils down to."

I pray that neither MJ nor Nike settle out of court with this asshat. He's probably thinking he can get an easy 200K by settling fast.
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Old 07-07-06, 05:15 PM
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Originally Posted by ZakVTA
The judge should put this guy in jail for wasting everyone's time.


"Mr. Heckard, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent opening statement were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. Case dismissed. Bailiff, take him away!"
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Old 07-07-06, 05:20 PM
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Old 07-07-06, 05:26 PM
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If he was concerned about it you would think he would at least stop shaving his head.
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Old 07-07-06, 05:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Puzznic
If he was concerned about it you would think he would at least stop shaving his head.
Or stop wearing Air Jordans...
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Old 07-07-06, 05:29 PM
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Some might wonder how he decided to sue Knight and Jordan for $416-million each. "Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and ah, then I turn around and ah I figure that's what it all boils down to."

That's got to be a top 20 all time quote right there.
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Old 07-07-06, 05:35 PM
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This guy is stuck on stupid.
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Old 07-07-06, 05:35 PM
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Man, I hope this fucker gets hit by a bus, but doesn't die - he gets dragged for 42 stops, then falls off, catches on fire, and slowly burns in the middle of the street. What a fucking douchebag.
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Old 07-07-06, 05:39 PM
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Originally Posted by bravesmg
Some might wonder how he decided to sue Knight and Jordan for $416-million each. "Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and ah, then I turn around and ah I figure that's what it all boils down to."

That's got to be a top 20 all time quote right there.
OTOH, I think our firm might be interested in hiring this guy as a damages expert!
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Old 07-07-06, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted by lordzeppelin
Man, I hope this fucker gets hit by a bus, but doesn't die - he gets dragged for 42 stops, then falls off, catches on fire, and slowly burns in the middle of the street. What a fucking douchebag.
You are holding back, I can tell. For your own health I suggest you stop bottling your feelings towards this guy and truly state how you feel.
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Old 07-07-06, 06:41 PM
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Wait a minute if the myth that we all look alike is true does that mean I can sue also?
*tsohg calls his lawyer and shaves his head*
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Old 07-07-06, 06:58 PM
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its all a publicity stunt. He wants to get into the lookalike business. Now everyone knows hes out there.
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Old 07-07-06, 06:58 PM
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Fuck all you naysayers. People say I look like Michael Imperioli all the time. This case may finally open the doors to celebrity look-alikes and impersonators that we've been waiting for. Imperioli might not be big enough for 416 million, but I'm sure I can settle for my age/2 plus seven*a million.
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Old 07-07-06, 08:59 PM
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Originally Posted by lordzeppelin
Man, I hope this fucker gets hit by a bus, but doesn't die - he gets dragged for 42 stops, then falls off, catches on fire, and slowly burns in the middle of the street.
and nothin but net...
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Old 07-08-06, 03:44 PM
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Hmm I have had a couple people tell me that I look like a fat Jim Carrey. Maybe I should sue Jim Carrey for being a skinny version of me.
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Old 07-08-06, 03:46 PM
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Awe hell, they all look alike how's anyone s'pose to tell 'em apart?
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