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I think I'm an ....

Old 07-02-06, 11:41 PM
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I think I'm an ....

Hey otters, I've had a crazy week. I'd like to present you guys with a scenario and get your opinions. Here goes:

Ok, I've been hangin out with two girls a lot recently. Two girls I like hangin out with (till all hours of the night) on different nights. One of these girls, I'm pretty sure has a thing for me (she actually told my friend to tell me that I need to hook up with her - she was drunk at the time, and quickly told him not to tell me). The other girl (I've only known a week) is very easy to get along with. I think she's called me almost every day this week and we've hung out a few times. This makes me want to assume she's interested in me (but no way to be sure). Now when I'm with these girls, it's usually just me & them (I'll be at their apartment, or they'll be at my house, or we'll go out to a bar) & they'll invite me out.

So here's the question: if I'm not totally sure I'm attracted to these girls, am I being an asshole by hanging out with them? What I'm trying to say is, I think I'm leading them on by not telling them flatout I just want to be friends, but I also don't want to tell them that cause I enjoy hanging out with them (& if I did tell them, it'd get awkward very fast). I don't want to make assumptions and ruin a friendship, but I also don't want them to get too attached if they are looking at me romantically. I've recently started going out with another girl I met a while back, but I'm not sure that will go anywhere. So should I tell the other girls this and risk them not wanting to be friends anymore?

BTW - no freakin' pics, so don't ask (but feel free to imagine 3 very hot girls in that sick mind of yours)
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Old 07-02-06, 11:47 PM
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As long as you don't go out of your way to lead them on...no worries. I am in your situation alot (90%+ of my friends are women), and i usually am up front with people, and it works out. The times when i'm not...that is when it got sticky.

It is tough to 'bring up', but sometimes when you all are hanging out (drinking?), you might want to drop a, "I really enjoy hanging out with you both. It is nice to have friends that you feel comfortable with, and can just hanging out and having some drinks." That typically works for me. In the event it doesn't....i just tell them point blank...which is odd at first, but they'll get over it, and it will cease to be a problem.

-p
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Old 07-03-06, 12:02 AM
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I don't have a sick mind.



Why can't you just hang out and be friends? Must it always be about sex and dating?
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Old 07-03-06, 12:11 AM
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I smell a threesome.


FYI

You're only an asshole if you dont have a threeesome with em.
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Old 07-03-06, 12:28 AM
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I might need to clarify. I don't hang out with the two of them at the same time. It's always one or the other and on different nights (and in some cases the same night). They don't know each other.
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Old 07-03-06, 01:06 AM
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If you don't want to lead them on, tell them you enjoy their friendship. If you think you might want to get involved later, enjoy their friendship without saying such.
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Old 07-03-06, 09:27 AM
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Seems like you are looking for some drama (or haven't revealed the WHOLE story). Unless you've done something that crossed the "friendship line" there's no need to say anything. You aren't leading anyone on by simply "hanging out". However, if you HAVE done something of an intimate nature, then you've sent mixed signals and need to straighten that out ASAP!
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Old 07-03-06, 09:39 AM
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Introduce them to each other. Now.
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Old 07-03-06, 09:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Buford T Pusser
Why can't you just hang out and be friends? Must it always be about sex and dating?
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Old 07-03-06, 09:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Buford T Pusser
Must it always be about sex and dating?

No, not really. Sometimes it is about eating, drinking, sleeping and other important things in life.
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Old 07-03-06, 09:54 AM
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Have they taken you to any... interesting... bars lately?
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Old 07-03-06, 09:58 AM
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Just remember, you can't just hang out an be friends. It must always be about sex and dating.

Just trying to be the contrarian.


If the chicks dig you and you don't dig them, there is nothing wrong with hanging out with them. But because they are chicks that dig you and you have testosterone, there is a 90% chance you will end up "hooking up" (I hate that term) with them at some point, and then you will see her at the office (or on campus) and you will say to her, "It got weird, didn't it?" So enjoy it, but that is what will happen, with a 90% certainty.
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Old 07-03-06, 10:05 AM
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This could be you:

John Tucker Must Die
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Old 07-03-06, 10:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Buford T Pusser
Must it always be about sex and dating?

YES!


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Old 07-03-06, 10:21 AM
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It isn't always about sex. He might be homeless and need a place to stay. In that case, i'd advise to do anything that keeps a roof over your head.

-p
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Old 07-03-06, 10:35 AM
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So you're not even kissing or playing just the tip? I can't see how that's leading them on. Unless they tell you they want to hit it and you say maybe, it seems like a few people just enjoying each other's company. Maybe they have more in mind, maybe they don't, but until they make a move and you accept/reject it, there's nothing going on.
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Old 07-03-06, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by ShallowHal
playing just the tip?
That is some funny shit; I love that phrase.

-p
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Old 07-03-06, 10:47 AM
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tell them they remind you of your sister, cousin, mother... whatever. that's like an automatic yellow card to the friendship zone. or at least is true in reverse for guys.
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Old 07-03-06, 10:49 AM
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so wait they are very hot and you don't want to have sex with them?
Seems to me he is doing the complete opposite of starting drama. I would bite the bullet if i were you and have sex with both of them...in the same night. They might get mad at you either way, so at least you can go down swinging.
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Old 07-03-06, 11:06 AM
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I think you should work the FWB angle.
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Old 07-03-06, 12:39 PM
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'hanging' out with hot girls just for the heck of it?

something is rotten in Denmark!
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Old 07-03-06, 12:47 PM
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Why is digifreak allowed more than one username?
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Old 07-03-06, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by pedagogue
That is some funny shit; I love that phrase.

-p
I stole it from Wedding Crashers. I never knew it had that name before, but even without a name it's fun.

-sh
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Old 07-03-06, 04:17 PM
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Just be honest, and inform them that your relationship is strictly platonic, and you have an potential interests romantically in someone else.
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Old 07-03-06, 04:22 PM
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nope, no just the tip here. no motorboating either. i think when a guy and girl hang out together alone, sex does tend to cross the mind (no matter how fleeting a thought). when these girls invite me out, I'm usually alone with them and not in a group of people. don't get me wrong, I've been tempted to make a move on some nights but I'm trying to focus on one girl right now. and I really don't want to make a move and then have the girl think we're in a relationship when I'm still in the process of talking to girl #3.
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