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thought you would find these funny :O)

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thought you would find these funny :O)

Old 07-01-06, 06:09 PM
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thought you would find these funny :O)

You might like to chuckle to these...

These are genuine clips from council complaint letters:

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back
passage has fungus growing in it
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I
just can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.
5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly
then he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.
7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside
toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from
the wall.
10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50%
are plain filthy.
13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until
it is cleared.
15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny
colour and not fit to drink.
16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
pieces.
17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every
morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.
19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would
like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every
night.
21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and
satisfy my wife.
22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but
I still have no satisfaction.
23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and
we can't get BBC2.
Old 07-01-06, 06:17 PM
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Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
boy that guy is naive!
Old 07-01-06, 06:34 PM
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long-yes
funny- no

Old 07-01-06, 07:00 PM
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"Genuine", huh?
Old 07-01-06, 07:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Numanoid
"Genuine", huh?
yes they are, the person who posted it originally works for the council thats where they got them from
Old 07-01-06, 07:40 PM
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Why does the council oversee lavatory seats?
Old 07-01-06, 07:52 PM
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If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done.
Old 07-01-06, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by bwvanh114
If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done.
I dont see what daniel18 has to do with this.
Old 07-01-06, 09:59 PM
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'jazzywoo' - that's fun to say.
Old 07-02-06, 12:46 AM
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you thought wrong.

i hope your friend is british, or he sits on an extremely gay council
Old 07-02-06, 01:56 AM
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Originally Posted by brizz
you thought wrong.

i hope your friend is british, or he sits on an extremely gay council
probably just the time of night, but this made me bust out laughing.
Old 07-02-06, 07:14 AM
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Cute ....
Old 07-02-06, 08:30 AM
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Originally Posted by marty888
Cute ....
...in a "I got this chain email 10 years ago" kind of way.

Last edited by Joe Molotov; 07-02-06 at 08:33 AM.
Old 07-02-06, 09:16 AM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
Why does the council oversee lavatory seats?
over here in the uk if you live in a council house they maintain everything , so if you have problem with anything your gas fire, plumbing etc you have to go through the council to get it fixed
Old 07-02-06, 09:53 AM
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Originally Posted by jazzywoo
over here in the uk if you live in a council house they maintain everything , so if you have problem with anything your gas fire, plumbing etc you have to go through the council to get it fixed
How fun for you.
Old 07-02-06, 10:31 PM
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Funny, but old. I've seen them several times over the years.
Old 07-02-06, 10:56 PM
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These are genuine clips from council complaint letters:
what council?
Old 07-02-06, 11:54 PM
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Ah, I finally have genuine proof that the British aren't funny!
Old 07-03-06, 02:26 AM
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I did not find these funny. What I did find funny, was Shemp saying that jazzywoo was fun to say.
Old 07-03-06, 11:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Canadian Bacon
long-yes
funny- no



Some of them were funny.

You've changed a lot since you got your fancy new title... wait

Chris
Old 07-03-06, 11:40 AM
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Originally Posted by PopcornTreeCt
Ah, I finally have genuine proof that the British aren't funny!

Are you kidding me?

Monty Python?

And so many others.

Benny Hill & The Young Ones to name a few.

What is your idea of funny?

Chris
Old 07-03-06, 03:00 PM
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Originally Posted by mrpayroll
What is your idea of funny?

Chris
It's no fun if you don't give us time to answer.
Old 07-03-06, 03:58 PM
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Originally Posted by ShallowHal
It's no fun if you don't give us time to answer.

Please, take all the time you need!

Chris
Old 07-03-06, 05:27 PM
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You do know how to keep an Englishman happy in his old age....

*runs for cover*
Old 07-03-06, 06:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Bushdog
probably just the time of night, but this made me bust out laughing.
It is day time for me, and I also laughed.

brizz wouldn't know funny if I had sex with him.


uh....wait.

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