Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

thought you would find these funny :O)

Old 07-01-06, 06:09 PM
  #1  
Suspended
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 26
thought you would find these funny :O)

You might like to chuckle to these...

These are genuine clips from council complaint letters:

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back
passage has fungus growing in it
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I
just can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.
5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly
then he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.
7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside
toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from
the wall.
10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50%
are plain filthy.
13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until
it is cleared.
15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny
colour and not fit to drink.
16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
pieces.
17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every
morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.
19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would
like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every
night.
21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and
satisfy my wife.
22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but
I still have no satisfaction.
23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and
we can't get BBC2.
jazzywoo is offline  
Old 07-01-06, 06:17 PM
  #2  
DVD Talk Hero
 
D.Pham4GLTE (>60GB)'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Stick out your tongue!
Posts: 39,114
Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
boy that guy is naive!
D.Pham4GLTE (>60GB) is offline  
Old 07-01-06, 06:34 PM
  #3  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Bacon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: on somone's ignore list
Posts: 20,882
long-yes
funny- no

Bacon is offline  
Old 07-01-06, 07:00 PM
  #4  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Numanoid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Down in 'The Park'
Posts: 27,882
"Genuine", huh?
Numanoid is offline  
Old 07-01-06, 07:02 PM
  #5  
Suspended
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by Numanoid
"Genuine", huh?
yes they are, the person who posted it originally works for the council thats where they got them from
jazzywoo is offline  
Old 07-01-06, 07:40 PM
  #6  
DVD Talk Godfather
 
The Bus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 54,812
Why does the council oversee lavatory seats?
The Bus is offline  
Old 07-01-06, 07:52 PM
  #7  
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 2,368
If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done.
bwvanh114 is offline  
Old 07-01-06, 08:23 PM
  #8  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Des Plaines, IL
Posts: 6,707
Originally Posted by bwvanh114
If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done.
I dont see what daniel18 has to do with this.
rabbit77 is online now  
Old 07-01-06, 09:59 PM
  #9  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 329
'jazzywoo' - that's fun to say.
Shemp is offline  
Old 07-02-06, 12:46 AM
  #10  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Formerly known as "brizz"/kck
Posts: 23,420
you thought wrong.

i hope your friend is british, or he sits on an extremely gay council
HistoryProf is offline  
Old 07-02-06, 01:56 AM
  #11  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Shackled
Posts: 35,372
Originally Posted by brizz
you thought wrong.

i hope your friend is british, or he sits on an extremely gay council
probably just the time of night, but this made me bust out laughing.
Bushdog is offline  
Old 07-02-06, 07:14 AM
  #12  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Times Square
Posts: 12,133
Cute ....
marty888 is offline  
Old 07-02-06, 08:30 AM
  #13  
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oklahoma, USA
Posts: 8,494
Originally Posted by marty888
Cute ....
...in a "I got this chain email 10 years ago" kind of way.

Last edited by Joe Molotov; 07-02-06 at 08:33 AM.
Joe Molotov is offline  
Old 07-02-06, 09:16 AM
  #14  
Suspended
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by The Bus
Why does the council oversee lavatory seats?
over here in the uk if you live in a council house they maintain everything , so if you have problem with anything your gas fire, plumbing etc you have to go through the council to get it fixed
jazzywoo is offline  
Old 07-02-06, 09:53 AM
  #15  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Kittydreamer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 13,611
Originally Posted by jazzywoo
over here in the uk if you live in a council house they maintain everything , so if you have problem with anything your gas fire, plumbing etc you have to go through the council to get it fixed
How fun for you.
Kittydreamer is offline  
Old 07-02-06, 10:31 PM
  #16  
DVD Talk Legend
 
DeputyDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 14,081
Funny, but old. I've seen them several times over the years.
DeputyDave is offline  
Old 07-02-06, 10:56 PM
  #17  
DVD Talk Legend
 
whotony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: ^ Kristen Bell
Posts: 18,661
These are genuine clips from council complaint letters:
what council?
whotony is offline  
Old 07-02-06, 11:54 PM
  #18  
DVD Talk Hero
 
PopcornTreeCt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 25,916
Ah, I finally have genuine proof that the British aren't funny!
PopcornTreeCt is offline  
Old 07-03-06, 02:26 AM
  #19  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: a mile high, give or take a few feet
Posts: 13,291
I did not find these funny. What I did find funny, was Shemp saying that jazzywoo was fun to say.
mndtrp is offline  
Old 07-03-06, 11:39 AM
  #20  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Glendale, next to L.A.
Posts: 18,486
Originally Posted by Canadian Bacon
long-yes
funny- no



Some of them were funny.

You've changed a lot since you got your fancy new title... wait

Chris
mrpayroll is offline  
Old 07-03-06, 11:40 AM
  #21  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Glendale, next to L.A.
Posts: 18,486
Originally Posted by PopcornTreeCt
Ah, I finally have genuine proof that the British aren't funny!

Are you kidding me?

Monty Python?

And so many others.

Benny Hill & The Young Ones to name a few.

What is your idea of funny?

Chris
mrpayroll is offline  
Old 07-03-06, 03:00 PM
  #22  
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,699
Originally Posted by mrpayroll
What is your idea of funny?

Chris
It's no fun if you don't give us time to answer.
ShallowHal is offline  
Old 07-03-06, 03:58 PM
  #23  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Glendale, next to L.A.
Posts: 18,486
Originally Posted by ShallowHal
It's no fun if you don't give us time to answer.

Please, take all the time you need!

Chris
mrpayroll is offline  
Old 07-03-06, 05:27 PM
  #24  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Mrs. Danger's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: With Nick Danger
Posts: 17,580
You do know how to keep an Englishman happy in his old age....

*runs for cover*
Mrs. Danger is offline  
Old 07-03-06, 06:06 PM
  #25  
DVD Talk God
 
kvrdave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 86,200
Originally Posted by Bushdog
probably just the time of night, but this made me bust out laughing.
It is day time for me, and I also laughed.

brizz wouldn't know funny if I had sex with him.


uh....wait.
kvrdave is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.