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Relationship Knoweldge: Then vs. Now

Old 07-01-06, 12:27 AM
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Relationship Knoweldge: Then vs. Now

I figured we've had enough trainwreck relationship threads, so instead I was going to start a thread about things that you know now, in regard to relationships, compared to then, and how this knowledge has impacted your current relationships. I'm going to leave it general, so I don't limit people. I guess I'll start it off.

Issue: The Rules
Then: There are tried and true rules that you should/need to follow. When to call, what to do, etc.
Now: They are very very loose guidelines at best. It is much more of a case by case basis. Neg-hits are still effective, but they tend to work on young women, but experienced women they are much less effective, unless you find a more damaged woman. (not ideal)
Effect: I don't keep the 'typical' rules now...but I have my own. Of course, I think some fo them (my strong preference to not call more than once or twice without a return contact, pretty much no matter what) I go back and forth with the neg-hit stuff, since it is effective, but I think ti tends to attract the wrong type of women.

So yeah....how about you?

-p
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Old 07-01-06, 01:43 AM
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Isn't now just then a second early?
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Old 07-01-06, 02:18 AM
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Originally Posted by Bushdog
Isn't now just then a second early?
Thank you Dr. As.....hello!

THank you for your wonderful insight. Do come again!

-p
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Old 07-01-06, 04:09 AM
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I've never tried a neg-hit. Has it actually worked for anyone?
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Old 07-01-06, 08:37 AM
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I have no idea what a neg hit is.

I thought you were talking about THE Rules. They worked for me.
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Old 07-01-06, 08:42 AM
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Originally Posted by mosquitobite
I have no idea what a neg hit is.
I had never heard of it either.
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/neghits.htm
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Old 07-01-06, 09:17 AM
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Once I realized I couldn't "fix" someone, I had no more whacko boyfriends.
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Old 07-01-06, 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Danger
Once I realized I couldn't "fix" someone, I had no more whacko boyfriends.
I realized that (with girls) a long time ago....I still fuck up.


Then: Be respectful, compliment a women, buy her flowers, etc..

Now: Be a smart ass, keep the compliments few and sincere...only buy something after she's show she deserves it.
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Old 07-01-06, 10:09 AM
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Originally Posted by mosquitobite
I have no idea what a neg hit is.

I thought you were talking about THE Rules. They worked for me.

Is that anything like GBD?
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Old 07-01-06, 11:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Danger
Once I realized I couldn't "fix" someone, I had no more whacko boyfriends.
You are my leader
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Old 07-01-06, 12:05 PM
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I learned to let things go and that there are no rules. Back then I was all about being overly pleasant and attentive to "the rules", taking things too seriously and personally, and hooking up with wackos just because they were hot. I eventually calmed my ass down and just rode the waves, being myself and doing what I felt like doing, and when I discovered a chick was wacky, I gave her the Heisman right away. The relationships that I did allow to develop began to be more fulfilling and more fun was had by all. And now I am happily married.
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Old 07-01-06, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by mosquitobite
I have no idea what a neg hit is.

I thought you were talking about THE Rules. They worked for me.
We should definately have a "one and only Neg Hit thread"
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Old 07-01-06, 12:32 PM
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aka, the one and only lame theory that some Internet guys have currently latched onto in order to try to get laid.
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Old 07-01-06, 12:57 PM
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dude.....it works. Of course, the type of women it works on might not be ideal, but people using it aren't looking for marriage material.

-p
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Old 07-01-06, 02:36 PM
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so funny! I just looked up neg-hit to see what the hell it is. Turns out, I've used it before and on the right girl, it works like a charm.

A friend wanted me to meet this girl he was nuts over. She turned out to be cute but did all these annoying things to draw attention to herself and thus get him, and any other guys (like me), to fawn all over her. I decided right there to give her almost no mind and my comments to her were of the nature "so what? big deal? who cares?" It felt a bit mean but she came after me with all eight arms! She actually said "I think I could really get to like you". The friend who introduced me couldn't believe it. I made the mistake of telling him how this happened and I think he was a bit mad at me for playing this (head) game with his would be girl. He and I were good friends so that, plus she turned out to be kind of a slut, kept me well away from her advances.

-Gunshy
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Old 07-01-06, 03:39 PM
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Back then I thought you had to worship the ground a woman walks on and conform to what she wanted in a guy. I found out she will probably walk on you in that case.

Now I know you need to be confident, be yourself and if a woman tries to walk all over you or change who you are, get out, fast.
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Old 07-01-06, 04:33 PM
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But wait! I can FIX you!

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Old 07-01-06, 04:42 PM
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So neg-hit = playing hard to get. Boy, you young guys are sure crafty.
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Old 07-01-06, 04:49 PM
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Not really. a bit more involved than that. Read old-timer!!!

-p
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Old 07-01-06, 07:42 PM
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Rules.
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Old 07-01-06, 07:54 PM
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Originally Posted by VinVega
Now I know you need to be confident, be yourself and if a woman tries to walk all over you or change who you are, smack her on the arse...
Fixed.
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Old 07-02-06, 05:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Graftenberg
I had never heard of it either.
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/neghits.htm
Ahhh! Thanks!


In that case, I agree with this:

Originally Posted by pedagogue
Neg-hits are still effective, but they tend to work on young women, but experienced women they are much less effective, unless you find a more damaged woman. (not ideal)
Those would never work on me. I know, the link said women would say that, but after dealing with a verbally abusive husband the first time a man said to me "your nails would look better if you wouldn't bite them" my red flag would go up as "he wants to change me" and I'd have been done talking to him. That's not bullshit, that's the truth. I dumped a guy I met on match because he tried to tell me what kinds of clothes I would look good in (as in, the clothes I was wearing were sub par somehow).

The Rules for me now that I'm married are different than what I had when I was dating.

When I was dating, I listened to my gut, and I followed The Rules. The cream rose to the top.
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Old 07-02-06, 05:54 PM
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*shakes head*

-p
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Old 07-02-06, 06:48 PM
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Then - sex=love, must be on best behavior

Now - sex=fun, this whole thing is pretty damn easy
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Old 07-02-06, 07:21 PM
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Then-(when I was dating it was pre-internet)-My clueless buddies and I talking about women problems over beers. We were all equally awkward, clumsy, and inexperienced. Thus, no real solution to the problem at hand- we just ended up drunk with “women who needs ‘em” as our motto for the night.

Now –(If I was dating, happily married, I must have done something right )-You post your problem on a forum and it’s like having 50 older brothers and sisters to give you advice. Man, if I knew some of the things that I read in these relationship posts- some of my breakups would have been less ugly.
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