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Ever been in a relationship with someone that hated your pet?

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Ever been in a relationship with someone that hated your pet?

Old 04-12-06, 05:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Bronkster
This sounds like an issue of who she thinks the pack leader is, and she doesn't think it's you. I'd recommend watching a few episodes of "The Dog Whisperer" on the National Geographic channel (check your local listing for times) - The guy on the show deals with all sorts of dog problems, most of which turn out to be the owners not understanding the dog's need for a pack leader. It's really a good show and it might help you out with the girl friend situation too, if you get your dog a bit more under control.
Ceasar Milan. Fantastic show. If only I could apply his techniques for evil.
Old 04-13-06, 12:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Breakfast with Girls
If that's how you feel, then fine. The solution is to keep the status quo or break up with her. But she definitely has every right to tell you that she could not tolerate living with your dog. Some people just don't like certain animals, and no amount of indignation on your part will convince them otherwise.

I like pets for the most part, but "pet people" annoy me--i.e., the ones who go on and on about their pets, pretend there's no difference between having pets and having children, etc. It's sort of like, "It's not the band I hate, it's their fans." Maybe your girlfriend also gets tired of this, and getting rid of the dog is just an indirect way to solve the problem.
Agree on all parts !!

I don't hate dogs...but they are far from the top of my favorite pets list... If I meet a 'dog girl' I tend to see it as a negative and usually won't pursue her very hard, especially if it's the "Love me, love my dog" type. Think i've ranted before on the whole pet as a substitute for boyfriend, child etc...

Anyway to the OP... Sounds like you are going to have to keep the GF and the dog seperate (which means she doesn't move in, etc)... and really, how long can you keep that up before one or the other suffers ? What would you do if she really walked away because of this ?
Old 04-13-06, 07:08 AM
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I think in this situation your dog is doing you a favor on this one. I mean really, should you be moving in with someone who is so intolerant of just a dog? What happens when the really big issues come up? I agree with the poster above who said if you lose your dog over this it will be the first of a long line of things you lose.
Old 04-13-06, 07:13 AM
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I have a snake and a Lizard. The last girl I was with was kinda freaked over the snake but not to bad. The girl before her bought me the snake as a gift and although she was kinda new to snakes she liked it. Also, when I was married I had 1 and at one point 2 snakes and my wife was ok but she wasn't overly loving towards them.
Old 04-13-06, 07:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Breakfast with Girls
If that's how you feel, then fine. The solution is to keep the status quo or break up with her. But she definitely has every right to tell you that she could not tolerate living with your dog. Some people just don't like certain animals, and no amount of indignation on your part will convince them otherwise.

I like pets for the most part, but "pet people" annoy me--i.e., the ones who go on and on about their pets, pretend there's no difference between having pets and having children, etc. It's sort of like, "It's not the band I hate, it's their fans." Maybe your girlfriend also gets tired of this, and getting rid of the dog is just an indirect way to solve the problem.
I agree that she has the right to her opinion on the dog, but it seems like something that should've come up at the beginning of the relationship, not 9 mos. in. As for 'pet people,' the over-the-top ones tend to grate on my nerves as well and I definitely don't fall into that category. I'd have no problem getting rid of my dog if there was a legitimate reason for it, i.e. she posed a threat to someone, had a habit of destroying property, etc. Hell, even if it was just a case of bad allergies, I'd probably be looking for a good home to place her with. On the other hand, when someone takes in an animal, I do think it's somewhat of a commitment and it's not one I'm willing to break simply because my SO doesn't 'like' the dog.

Originally Posted by Bronkster
This sounds like an issue of who she thinks the pack leader is, and she doesn't think it's you. I'd recommend watching a few episodes of "The Dog Whisperer" on the National Geographic channel (check your local listing for times) - The guy on the show deals with all sorts of dog problems, most of which turn out to be the owners not understanding the dog's need for a pack leader. It's really a good show and it might help you out with the girl friend situation too, if you get your dog a bit more under control.
Thanks for the tip. I looked up some info on pack leaders and I'm not sure if that could be the issue or not. In some areas, it seems like it, in others, not at all. Regardless, I did find some good tips in looking for it. I'll try to keep an eye out for 'The Dog Whisperer' as well.

Anyway, thanks to all for the advice/viewpoints. I think I'm going to try to sit down with the SO in the next week or so and have an in-depth conversation about the issue. Try to figure out exactly what about the dog bothers her and then come up with steps to address the specific issues. Hopefully that'll work, as it's really the only thing in our relationship that doesn't feel right.
Old 04-13-06, 08:31 AM
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maxfisher,
I was in a very similar situation at one point, except I was engaged when my fiance gave me the "dog goes or I go" ultimatum. In short, I kept the dog and called off the wedding. But it wasn't a knee-jerk reaction on my part - her ultimatum caused me to re-evaluate our compatability. By the time I made up my mind, the dog ultimatum was just one of several reasons.
Old 04-13-06, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by maxfisher
I agree that she has the right to her opinion on the dog, but it seems like something that should've come up at the beginning of the relationship, not 9 mos. in.
She probably hadn't thought about moving in with you that long ago. Now she has, and she's realized that she couldn't deal with it (with your dog).

On the other hand, when someone takes in an animal, I do think it's somewhat of a commitment and it's not one I'm willing to break simply because my SO doesn't 'like' the dog.
I agree, which is why I don't think either of you are in the wrong here.
Old 04-13-06, 03:45 PM
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Agree with TexasGuy. This is a precursor to other definite future incompatibilities. 9 mos. is not a long time, and there's no way you should give up your pet.

I've been with my fiancee for over 7 years, and I guarantee you to this day if I said "it's the cats or me", I'd be single. They were both strays she took in. No they're not human, but they are like her children.

I've always been a dog guy, and never too fond of cats but I've grown to like them. They're both 10+ so it's frustrating sometimes when I want them to play and they just kind of sneer at me, but since my fiancee loves dogs too, I expect we'll be getting at least one puppy and kitten eventually, which will be ours together.

And neither of us wants kids.

Last edited by bunkaroo; 04-13-06 at 03:47 PM.
Old 04-13-06, 09:48 PM
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I had a cat when my wife and I first started dating. She wasn't a big fan of his but tolerated him. Shortly after our son was born, we shipped the cat off to my mom's house because of my son's allergies.
Old 04-13-06, 11:11 PM
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It'd be best to break things off with her, but that doesn't mean she is wrong for being honest. Some people just don't like animals. Why this is such a terrible thing to some, I'm not sure. Either you like animals or you don't. People have the right to say they like or don't like certain movies, music, activities, etc. Why's it so different for children or pets?

Some view pets as their "babies" or "children." Others view pets as disgusting things. Just because you don't share the other view doesn't make you a bad person. I'm more open to dogs because of my girlfriend's adorable little one. But that's not just an issue of the dog being cute; she keeps the damn thing clean and I've been informed that the dog cannot reach that far down south, which is a plus (because why would you wanna have a dog like you moments after it's been going at its crotch?). A lot of pet owners don't keep them all that clean, which is nasty.

My friend I grew up with had a nice, clean house for years. Then the parents got divorced, he suddenly had three dalmations, you couldn't even go in the basement and it wasn't uncommon for several areas of the house to reek of shit. Just a gross place to be.
Old 04-14-06, 12:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Bronkster
To me, when someone adopts a pet they're taking on a commitement for the life of that animal. I realize that many don't share that opinion and regard pets as disposible (and I consider those people craphats).

My thoughts on the specific situation: Your dog depends on you and you need to take of her. If your girlfriend is using this as a wedge issue and you give in, then you can expect there to be more issues later on. Grow a set of balls and tell your GF that your dog stays.
well said dude!
For myself, my cats are a huge part of my life, i love animals, and there's no way i would ever start dating someone who doesn't like or doesn't want to have pets.
Old 04-14-06, 01:58 AM
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I'm a cat guy too and I dated a girl with a dog a few years ago. I didnt really care for it and I'm pretty sure the dog realized it. My foot got a golden shower while I was sound asleep in the middle of the night.

A few months later the girl got two more dogs and they were wild. Jumping on everything, furniture, me, barking etc . . . The final straw came when one shit on the wall (yes the wall) while the other one threw up on the floor. Then the wall shitter went over and ate the vomit. I just walked out and didn't look back at that point.
Old 04-14-06, 11:40 AM
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Don't want to end up like this guy:
http://www.kctv.com/Global/story.asp?S=4770456
Old 04-14-06, 12:07 PM
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I haven't read all the opinions, but could it be you are kind of blind to your dog's bad habits? Could you change things, ameliorate them, with a little more effort?

For ex., the shedding. If you brush your dog every day, it will shed a lot less. Also, there are supplements you can give the dog to help with that. And lastly, you can vacuum and lint brush frequently to reduce the amount of hair around.

As for whining in the crate, why is the dog in the crate when you're home?

The licking when she's being petted, have you worked (hard and consistently) at stopping this?

I think you and the GF need to have a heart to heart. Tell her that you are not going to get rid of the dog, but you want to make things better. Find out what things you can do to help. If she sees you doing a lot of work to make the dog (and the situation) better for her, she may compromise some and grow to appreciate the dog more.

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