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The Bouillabaise Subterfuge Smorgasbord and Collected Mish-Mash Medley of Miscellany

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The Bouillabaise Subterfuge Smorgasbord and Collected Mish-Mash Medley of Miscellany

Old 03-31-06, 12:08 PM
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The Bouillabaise Subterfuge Smorgasbord and Collected Mish-Mash Medley of Miscellany

Have a topic, question, or comment that doesn't fit into any existing thread? Post it here. Since, by definition, this thread has no topic (or only one topic, that is, the first rule of this topic is there is no topic), it cannot be hijacked and it cannot be threadcrapped since you can't crap on nothing. (A double negative that cannot be turned into a positive!)

Everything is automatically off-topic, but since this is a thread about no topic, everything is automatically on-topic. (See Fig. 1).

Originally Posted by Benjamin Franklin
So, please, let's begin. I can't think of any other way to start the weekend.

Some starting (or ending points):
  • Orange Juice: Has anyone else stopped drinking it?
  • Ever notice most drawings of giraffes are wrong? Their necks are like triangles, they don't just go straight up.
  • When you give your name or address, do you have to spell any part of it out?
  • When was the last time you did a jigsaw puzzle?
  • Make me understand you. Discuss.

And so on.
Old 03-31-06, 12:12 PM
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A random thread? Cool!
Old 03-31-06, 12:23 PM
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Aren't butter twist pretzels tasty?
Old 03-31-06, 12:32 PM
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So, at the Korn show last night . . . *pause* for effect . . . I came away feeling like a total "skinny mini." Who knew dreadlocked freaks were being so well fed these days?

Before you ask:
Yes, "moi" taking in a mook-rawk show - although this time I didn't laugh quite so hard as the first. The first time, it was like I had toked hard on a tank of hi-grade laughing gas. I couldn't stop bubbling over with mirth as I watched the pre-teens pound each other in earnest whilst (there's that pesky "whilst" again) Jonathon recited mopey MySpace confessions at top volume to his microphone and banged like a muppet in heat. This time, far less amusing, really. Perhaps due to the fact that the crowd for Jonathon's angst had greyed considerably in the intervening years. Everyone was double-fisting the cheap booze, showing off distressingly poorly rendered body art and/or otherwise marking their territory. Although I will admit I was fleetingly obsessed with this arresting 6 foot something, ball-bellied, chin-furred "vision" who kept wiggling suggestively at me on the edge of the "pit." (Yes, I had "pit" tickets. "moi" - pitside - to enhance the amusement factor, really). Oh, he wanted me. Oh, yes he did.
Old 03-31-06, 12:48 PM
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You want to UNDERSTAND me? I don't know if it would be legal for me to do that to your brain...
Old 03-31-06, 12:52 PM
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Everyone knows "true understanding" can only come through "thing-on-thingee" intimacy.
Old 03-31-06, 12:53 PM
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Email I got today from StarWars.com (my son signed up for the newsletter, not me. Honest.)

Asteroid Beltway pundits have been closely watching the heated race for the presidency of Hyperspace: The Official Star Wars Fan Club. Despite the fact that Corellian pollsters have been reluctant to quote the odds of the outcome, the starwars.com Homing Beacon has pegged two clear front-runners in a race that is still up for grabs.

If the election were held tomorrow... well, there'd be a lot of confusion, because this presidency is not determined by election. Rather, it's part of a recruitment contest currently being held by starwars.com Hyperspace. The fan who recruits the most members into the Fan Club will be awarded with the title for a year, an all-expense paid trip to Comic-Con International 2006 in San Diego, a guest editor position for an issue of Star Wars Insider, online VIP status and more. (Click here for details).

Running neck-and-neck for the high office are Tommy "uscwannabe" Costabile and Dustin "[email protected]" Roberts, outspoken candidates who are reaching out to the fan community to make their dreams of presidency a reality.

"Well obviously, my track record speaks for itself. I stand head, shoulders, knees and toes above the other... wait a second. There's other people competing?!" said Roberts, who has announced stalwart astromech R2-D2 as his running mate.

Costabile, bedecked in a natty black robe, is running alone despite past proclamations that there should always be two, a master and apprentice. "I have the ability to run this presidency in this post Clone War-era, which is essential to the preservation of the peace the great Emperor Palpatine has created. I myself have overheard the Emperor discussing the Senate's dissolution. Too many people in power leads to horrific, horrific situations. I can assure this will not be the case while I'm around! I offer a future!" Costabile punctuated his statements with protracting cackling and impressive display of static electricity.

Though both candidates have varying views on the tough issues of Gungan-control, Jedi marriages, and the teaching of midi-chlorians in school, they are in agreement that the Fan Club President position should belong to a true Star Wars fan.

"When you say a 'real fan,' which do you mean?" asked Roberts, known to some as DLR. "Those über-dorky, forum-trolling, Natalie-drooling, lightsaber-waving fans, or the film school elitist that can explain the hegemonic ethos of the Jedi? Cuz' I can relate to them all. They're my peeps!"

"Having a president that doesn't know much about Star Wars would be the equivalent of putting C-3PO in charge of the Jedi Order," said Costabile. "It must not happen!"

Roberts has been making waves by enlisting a number of fan sites to spread his message of presidency. "There's no one else that can be more DLR-er than I. You may have some Dustins running, or some Robertses. But when it comes right down to it, just remember you can't spell 'leader' without DLR."
Costabile is not fazed at all by Roberts' campaigning, and balks at any notion of campaign spending caps. "When Empreror Palpatine was just a Chancellor fighting the oppression of the Separatists, did anyone tell him we didn't have enough money? No way, Weequay!"

Though both stand at the top of the frequently updating leaderboard that is tracking current recruitment levels, the contest is still wide open. The presidency could go to you, newsletter reader, if you know of fans, friends and family that would be willing to enter your screen name as the person who prompted them to sign up or renew their Hyperspace membership. Besides, a year's worth of Hyperspace makes a great gift... and according to our crafty astromech's calculations, a run for the presidency may actually be cheaper than a flight and accommodations at this year's Comic-Con...

...But we'll leave that kind of calculation to the politically minded. The contest continues until May, and till then, it's anybody's guess as to who will step up to the enormous podium in the Hyperspace rotunda and address his dellow felegates. "This is what we're fighting for," says Costabile. "To be the leader of the greatest Fan Club in the history of Fan Clubs!"
Old 03-31-06, 01:54 PM
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Originally Posted by grunter
Everyone knows "true understanding" can only come through "thing-on-thingee" intimacy.
So, can I put this "thing" on your "thingee"?
Old 03-31-06, 01:58 PM
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Ouch!
Old 03-31-06, 01:59 PM
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I often dream about floods and tidal waves.

I'm really starting to hate Kevin Spacey.

The first time I masturbated to completion was the absolute happiest day of my life.

I have two cats: Zuzu and Lulu. Sometimes I call either one of them Zulu by mistake.

My personal record is flipping 40 quarters off my elbow and snatching them in the same hand. I can also do 50 pennies. The world record is 328 10-pence coins, but I don't know how big they are.
Old 03-31-06, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Danger
So, can I put this "thing" on your "thingee"?
Sorry, but I don't play "tie me up" games.

Remember my motto: "Touch my nipples and you die!!"
Old 03-31-06, 02:14 PM
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I just want to go home...Is that so much to ask??
Old 03-31-06, 03:07 PM
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Worst. Random. Ever.
Old 03-31-06, 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted by grunter
Worst. Random. Ever.

They just need practice, grunter.
Old 03-31-06, 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Bandoman
They just need practice, grunter.
Now, you've just done gone and given me "heavy, heavy boots."

Old 03-31-06, 03:26 PM
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No, not the blue ones.
Old 03-31-06, 03:27 PM
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Old 03-31-06, 03:28 PM
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Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.....
Old 03-31-06, 03:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Charlie Goose
My personal record is flipping 40 quarters off my elbow and snatching them in the same hand. I can also do 50 pennies. The world record is 328 10-pence coins, but I don't know how big they are.
Impressive!

Who knew that we had this kind of talent in Otter?
Old 03-31-06, 03:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Charlie Goose
The first time I masturbated to completion was the absolute happiest day of my life.

My personal record is flipping 40 quarters off my elbow and snatching them in the same hand. I can also do 50 pennies. The world record is 328 10-pence coins, but I don't know how big they are.
What's your record when you do it while masturbating?
Old 03-31-06, 03:58 PM
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Branching off of orange juice ...

Does anybody like, or has anybody tried, orange juice in cereal instead of milk?
Old 03-31-06, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by eXcentris
What's your record when you do it while masturbating?
pics?
Old 03-31-06, 04:58 PM
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I keep looking, but I can't find the "hidden buffet" in this thread.

Baby needs some croutons.
Old 03-31-06, 05:10 PM
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YOU are the hidden buffet!

Old 03-31-06, 05:46 PM
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I can move all of my toes individually and pick up things with my toes and even write with my toes. I can also do lots of other fun and exciting things with my toes that I can't discuss here.

Mrs. D...that is one disturbing picture....

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